by Brenda Novak
He’d finally left his phone at his place and gone out for a drive, traveled aimlessly around the valley for two hours before making the decision to allow himself to go to Cora’s. He had to resolve at least one thing that was bothering him. Otherwise, it felt like his head would explode. Although his birth mother had contacted him once or twice before, she’d never been quite so insistent.
You know it was that damn Tim I married who treated you so bad. Wasn’t me. I wasn’t involved in any of that.
She’d had the nerve to send such a text—a blatant lie—as if he hadn’t been fully aware of exactly what happened, and who was responsible. They’d been in it together, one feeding off the other. But it wasn’t just that. He wasn’t himself, wasn’t in control, not since seeing Cora at the bar.
“This isn’t... I mean, you’re her boss,” Matt said. “This isn’t personal, right?”
Eli ignored him. He was wound up, on edge, afraid he’d bash him in the face if he so much as acknowledged his presence. His birth mother triggered too many painful memories, a surfeit of emotion. Eli felt like there was a monster growing inside him that was about to bust out at any moment.
Fortunately, since Aiyana had taken him in and he’d worked through most of his issues—the ones he could resolve—he hadn’t allowed his frustration to erupt, hadn’t let it get the better of him.
But it’d been a long time since he’d been this raw.
“I asked you a question,” Matt said.
Eli leveled a glare at him. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll go inside.”
Eyes wide, Matt stumbled back as if he’d just caught a glimpse of the rage lurking inside Eli, but before he could do anything else, Cora grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the house. “Give us a few minutes. Will you? Please?”
Unwilling to make it that easy, Matt looked from her to Eli and back again. “Don’t tell me... You guys are seeing each other, aren’t you!” He glared at her as if she’d cheated on him. “There’s no way you’d start dating Aiyana’s son! Not without—”
“Matt, if you say another word I’ll never forgive you!” she broke in.
Without what? Eli had no clue and didn’t get the chance to ask before she shoved her ex toward the house with more force. “Matt, please. If you value our friendship at all, you’ll go inside this minute.”
He cursed but accepted the keys she tossed him and finally did as she asked.
Once he was gone, a profound silence fell.
Suddenly, Eli was no longer sure what he’d hoped to achieve. His eyes were beginning to burn as badly as his gut, and a lump the size of a baseball rose in his throat, making it impossible for him to speak normally.
What the heck was he doing? He’d been a fool to come here. He was only making matters worse.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and opened his truck door. He intended to get in and drive off before she could realize how close he was to breaking down, but she grabbed hold of him.
“What is it, Eli?” She looked concerned as she dragged him around to face her, but that only made it harder for him to maintain his composure. He jerked away, didn’t want her to see him like this. But she refused to let him go. She caught hold of him again, this time with a stronger grasp.
“Talk to me!”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” He managed to mutter that much without having his voice crack—thank God—but she didn’t act like she heard him. She stared into his face, trying to read what he was feeling. Then she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest. “What is it?” she asked, clinging tightly. “Tell me.”
He lifted his hands to her shoulders. He intended to push her away, couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to need her. He should’ve gone home like he was about to do now. He couldn’t rely on her, on anyone, no matter how tempting it was to believe otherwise. But she wouldn’t let go—and the next thing he knew his arms slid around her, securing her against him instead of breaking off the embrace.
“It’s okay,” she said.
He knew she could probably feel how badly he was shaking, but there was nothing he could do about that now. “Where’ve you been?” he asked.
Her hands slipped up the back of his shirt, and he felt her press her palms against his bare skin—a move he found both satisfying and intimate. She wasn’t merely offering him a light “you’ll be okay” pat. She was making it clear that she cared about him and wouldn’t let him down. “It doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”
Burying his face in her hair, he gripped her that much tighter, and they stood like that until he could overcome all the terrible feelings that had him so twisted up inside. “Come home with me,” he said at length, his mouth at her ear.
When she hesitated, he feared she’d refuse. She had Matt in the house, after all. He was asking a lot for her to leave her guest, but he needed to hear her say yes, needed to know that he came before Matt.
And, in the end, she murmured, “Okay.”
* * *
Cora promised herself she’d tell Eli. Tonight. She had to. She didn’t see how she could continue sleeping in his bed without divulging her connection to Aiyana. But, despite what he’d indicated at her place, Eli wasn’t interested in having a discussion. That she’d go home with him was all that seemed important at the moment.
On the drive over, when she asked him what was wrong, he said he didn’t want to talk about it. So she let the conversation lapse, but the ensuing silence wasn’t awkward or upsetting. It was more like everything that’d been so wrong was now right, just because they were together.
The moment they reached his house, he tugged her inside and, without so much as turning on the light, began to let her know how badly he’d missed her. He wasn’t unwilling to communicate, she realized. He just preferred to speak to her in a different way, one in which he felt more capable of expressing himself.
She did get four words out of him—“I’m glad you’re back.” But that was all, and she wasn’t willing to push. Something significant was going on between them that he didn’t seem capable of putting into words, and she didn’t need him to. She could feel the difference in the way he touched her.
His thick eyelashes rested on his cheeks as he ran his tongue across her lips. “You’re what I need,” he said, surprising her by speaking again.
What’d happened tonight? He’d been so upset at her house he’d been trembling when she slid her arms around his waist. Just the memory of it made her defensive of him. She knew simply seeing her with Matt wasn’t enough to cause a reaction like that. So what was it?
Regardless, she could feel that he was doing much better. His fingers curled and locked through hers as he bent his head to kiss her.
“You can kiss like no one else,” she told him, relaxing as the desire he so easily evoked began to rise inside her once again.
“It’s not difficult to kiss good when the person you’re kissing tastes like honey,” he told her and pulled back to look at her, seemingly content just to have her back in his house.
Cora might’ve been embarrassed to be the subject of such close scrutiny. She couldn’t hide how deeply he affected her, so there was a certain vulnerability that came with holding his gaze. The fact that she did hold it, however—that she let him see she wasn’t unaffected—appeared to be what he was looking for. His lips curved into a rather boyish smile and he kissed her again, even more softly, before leading her into his bedroom.
“Will you undress for me?” he asked as he sat on the bed.
Cora was tempted to derail that request by closing the gap between them. There’d be so much less risk in what they were doing if she could accelerate their lovemaking to the point that neither one of them was thinking clearly. Doing it with such intention—it almost felt like this was t
he first time they’d ever been together.
In a way it was, she realized. He was taking her more seriously, investing more time, effort and emotion. But...dared she take this step? Before telling him who she was?
“Relax. It’s just me.” He wanted her to trust him, to act confidently, but by not telling him who she was, she was sort of lying to him...
Although she hesitated, in the end she couldn’t bring herself to ruin this moment. She’d slept with Matt for two years and never experienced what it was like to make love in such a cerebral fashion, one in which her heart and mind were as active and involved as her body. Now she understood how many times she’d merely gone through the motions, either for her own physical release or simply to be a good partner and satisfy Matt.
Eli was much deeper than the women he’d been with had given him credit for, she decided. He had a tender heart; he merely protected it well. That he would reveal his sensitive side was making her fall that much harder.
Slowly, she removed her clothes.
“Gorgeous,” he said, his expression rapt. “It’s been such a long week.”
His nostrils flared as she stepped closer. “At least it’s going to end well,” she said and guided his head to her breast, stroking his cheek as he suckled her.
His hands slid to her waist, then moved over her hips and around to the back, at which point he lifted her easily onto the bed before removing his own clothes.
“Do we need a condom?” he asked.
She’d been on the pill for a week. “According to what I’ve read online, we should be safe.”
His teeth flashed in another smile. “I get to come inside you,” he said and, when they both reached that pinnacle, Cora couldn’t help but acknowledge that she’d never enjoyed making love to anyone more.
After an experience like that she wasn’t willing to have the talk they needed to have about Aiyana. That would ruin everything, destroy the memory. So she promised herself she’d tell him in the morning and faded off to sleep, her arms and legs entwined with his.
Chapter Fifteen
“What are you going to do about Matt?”
Cora pulled herself out of the last vestiges of sleep so that she could answer Eli’s question. He’d begun to stir several minutes ago, but she’d been reluctant to reach full consciousness, knew she’d have to face all that awaited her when she did. “I hope he got up and left,” she mumbled. “He was supposed to leave this morning.”
“What’s he been doing here?”
She heard the caution in Eli’s tone, could tell he was prepared for an answer he didn’t like. “Sleeping on the couch.”
“You didn’t get back together with him.”
“No.”
He seemed so relieved when he reached for her that she smoothed her hand over his bare chest in a comforting fashion as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“What did he want, then?” he asked.
“He wanted to reconcile, but I wasn’t interested.”
“So why didn’t he leave?”
“He asked if he could stay—to show me what I was missing, I suppose.”
Eli lifted his head. “And you let him?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I can’t imagine it would be that complicated to me.”
Because he didn’t know everything. She’d let Matt stay mostly to appease him. She’d been trying to end their relationship in such a way that he wouldn’t cause trouble. With what he and his mother were going through, she’d also wanted to be supportive and prove she was sincere about maintaining a friendship. “We were together for two years. He said he was having a hard time getting over me, so I figured I owed him a few days to come to terms with our new relationship.”
“Wouldn’t being around you only make getting over the breakup harder?”
“I told him that. He argued that he needed to get used to our new status, and I thought it might give him the closure he seemed to be missing if I didn’t rush him out the door.”
“He didn’t know about me.”
That had been apparent in Matt’s reaction last night. “Of course not. I haven’t told anyone.”
He dropped his head back. “Even your family at home?”
She understood what that would likely indicate to him—that she wasn’t taking the relationship seriously. But she wasn’t supposed to be taking the relationship seriously. “No. Why would I? You told me not to expect anything.”
“You’ve certainly taken that to heart,” he said wryly.
“I don’t want to get hurt any more than you do.”
“And now?”
“Has that changed?”
His fingers slipped through her hair. “You can’t tell?”
She could tell last night. But there were still a lot of blanks to be filled in. She leaned up on her elbow to be able to see into his face. “What is it you want from me, Eli?” she asked. “Specifically.”
He thought for a moment. Then he said, “I want to be with you while you’re here.”
“And what would that entail? A night together every once in a while?”
“I’m asking for a little more than that.”
“But more equals...what? Would we quit trying to hide the fact that we’re seeing each other?”
He sat up against the headboard. “Why not? That hasn’t been the best-kept secret in the first place.”
She pulled the sheet with her as she came into a sitting position, too. “What about dating other people?”
“We won’t date other people.” He spoke quickly enough to suggest he knew his mind on that matter without even having to think.
“We’d be exclusive.”
“Yes, and we’ll see each other a lot. Okay?” He lifted a hand to run a thumb down her jawline. “This past week just about killed me.”
She assumed he was joking, so she chuckled, but he didn’t laugh with her. He seemed serious. “You mean that,” she said, sobering.
“I hated every minute of it.”
“So...we’ll be exclusive and see each other a lot—and then?”
“We’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
“No promises.”
His eyebrows came together. “I told you I’m not good at this. I’m hoping I’ll get better at it. But, either way, it’s too early to try and decide what might come later.”
He had a point. But she had a secret. Now that they had an understanding of sorts, would she be a fool to divulge that? What if she shared the circumstances surrounding her birth and he insisted she tell Aiyana? The deception could make Aiyana angry. Or there could be some reason Aiyana wouldn’t or couldn’t be around her. In that case, she’d lose her job, which wouldn’t be the best thing for her or the school, not midyear. She liked it here, liked being with Elijah.
So, once again, she ignored her better judgment—put what she felt now above what she’d probably be feeling at the end of the school year—and decided to wait.
Fortunately, that was made easy when Eli’s phone began to buzz, drawing their attention. He was getting a call or text. When he reached over to grab it, she thought he’d answer. But after checking the display, he cursed and tossed the phone back on the nightstand as if it had burned his hand.
“Who is it?” she asked.
Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the wall again.
“Eli?” Whoever it was, he didn’t like them—or wasn’t happy they were trying to reach him. “It’s not Aiyana...”
“No.”
Of course not. Cora couldn’t imagine he’d be unhappy to hear from one of his brothers, either. So...maybe it was an old girlfriend.
When she said nothing more, he opened his eyes and looked at her.
“What?” sh
e said.
Instead of answering, he reclaimed his phone and showed her the text he’d received—How can you be so selfish? I only need $50.
She noted the name associated with that text. “Maleficent’s texting you?”
“Jo Seifert. My mother.”
“Maleficent’s a Disney character, right? From Sleeping Beauty?”
“An evil character. Maleficent means doing harm.”
His mother. She was tempted to touch the scar on his chin—she still didn’t know how he’d gotten it—but refrained. “Seems fitting.”
That he would change his mind and share this with her suggested he was making an effort to be more open, to have some semblance of a real relationship, despite what he’d termed his “limitations.” She would’ve smiled at that but she didn’t want him to think she was smiling at the fact that he was upset.
She leaned forward to peck him on the lips. “Are you going to give her the money?”
“Hell, no.”
“I don’t blame you.” She started to get up, but he caught her arm.
“That’s it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not going to ask me a million questions about Jo?”
God knew she wanted to. She was so curious about his biological family and background. But she figured he’d talk about his past when he was ready. She wouldn’t try to force him to share things that were painful for him. “No.”
“Because...”
“I already know the most salient points.”
The old guarded expression claimed his face. “You’re aware of what happened to me?”
She wished she could erase all the pain he’d suffered. She hated the people who’d hurt him, even though she’d never even met them. “I did an internet search.”
