Finding Our Forever

by Brenda Novak

  “Why? A family isn’t for everyone. He’s told plenty of people that he’ll never marry.”

  “Because he doesn’t want to need anyone, doesn’t want to be hurt again, right? But it’s too late to protect his heart. He needs you. And if he doesn’t know that yet, he will soon.”

  She waved her mother’s words away. “That’s not true. The students at the ranch are his family. He’s got his mother and brothers, too. And look at him—he could have about any woman he wanted if...if he was hungry for that sort of thing.”

  Her mother gripped her shoulders so that she had to look up. “I think you’re underestimating him.”

  “You don’t know what he’s been through, Mom.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said quietly. “You’ve mentioned a few things, so...your father and I looked him up on the internet.”

  Cora fell silent.

  “It’s tragic,” her mother added in a whisper. “Does he ever hear from the people who...who were so unkind?”

  “He hears from his biological mother every once in a while.”

  “He has a relationship with her?”

  “No, he doesn’t want anything to do with her. But she hits him up for money when she gets desperate.” Jo hadn’t called or texted him since he’d told her to leave him alone the last time, but how long would that last? She’d contact him again in the future. He said she reached out every once in a while, when she was desperate for financial support or she felt the need to justify her actions. He said she always tried to convince him that she wasn’t to blame.

  “How could any mother be like that?” Lilly asked.

  “It’s tough to imagine.”

  “Turned my stomach to read about it. But look how he’s turned out in spite of them. I’m so proud of him.”

  Cora felt the same warmth pour through her she experienced whenever she saw him or thought about him. “So am I.”

  Her mother pulled her into a tight embrace. “I believe you were brought together for a reason, honey. That it was meant to be.”

  “And Aiyana?” Cora asked.

  Lilly released her. “I guess I’m finally coming to terms with the idea of sharing you.”

  She smiled wryly. “You just like Eli and know he wouldn’t be part of our lives if I hadn’t gone in search of Aiyana.”

  Her mother chuckled. “I admit that’s part of it. Acquiring a son-in-law helps soften the idea that I might lose part of my daughter. But I’ve been doing some thinking—about you and me and the situation.”

  “And?”

  “I’ve decided that I need to trust love,” she said.

  * * *

  “What are you doing?”

  Eli glanced up to see Gavin scowling at him for stopping so abruptly. They’d just finished breakfast, were walking down to the hardware store to pick up some parts Gavin needed to repair a sink in one of the dorms when Eli’d noticed they were passing H & G Jewelers. Sight of all the sparkling diamonds on display had caught his attention and caused him to fall out of step.

  “Nothing.” He pulled his gaze away from what was behind the glass so he could catch up, but turned back almost immediately. He wasn’t ready to leave yet; he wanted to look some more. “I’ve been trying to come up with a good Christmas gift for Cora,” he explained.

  “You’re thinking jewelry?”

  “Most women like jewelry, don’t they?”

  “All the ones I know,” Gavin agreed.

  Eli gestured toward the door. “Do you mind if we stop in here for a few minutes?”

  “Not at all.” His brother followed him inside. “What kind of jewelry are you looking for? A necklace? Earrings?”

  It was the engagement rings that’d captured his attention. He’d begun to think about Cora in a different way. As easy and natural as their relationship had been, he’d felt the shift several weeks ago. He’d tried to fight it by giving himself all the reasons he’d be stupid to try to make it permanent. But no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t seem to regain his enthusiasm for bachelorhood.

  The simple truth was that he’d never cared for anyone the way he cared for her, never enjoyed someone so much. She didn’t seem to mind that he couldn’t verbalize his emotions or talk about his past, didn’t take it personally. That helped, but there were other things about her that made her unique, too. She seemed more relaxed, more confident, more easygoing than any of the women he’d dated before. They just fit together somehow, and although she was still talking as if she planned to leave in the spring, he was beginning to dread the thought of going on without her.

  “Eli?” Gavin prompted when he didn’t respond.

  “I don’t know yet,” he replied as a sales associate—a woman wearing a Santa hat—made her way over.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I’m looking for something special to give my girlfriend for Christmas,” he told her. “Do you have anything you might suggest?”

  “We have a lot of pretty things.” She showed him a thick chain bracelet, a ruby heart necklace, some black onyx earrings and several other items. She had a good eye—he thought Cora would like any of the items she’d singled out. And yet his attention kept straying to that case of engagement rings he’d seen in the window.

  Once he walked over there, the sales clerk quickly followed and smiled coyly when he met her eager gaze. “Or, if you really want it to be a nice Christmas, you could go for one of these,” she said.

  Gavin gestured dismissively. “Those are wedding sets.”

  “I know what they are,” Eli said.

  His brother blinked at him. “And you’re still interested?”

  Was he? For years he’d been adamant that he’d never tie the knot. But the four months he’d known Cora had been the best four months of his life. He’d never felt more whole or healthy in a psychological and emotional sense. The thought of presenting her with a diamond ring that showed he was not only willing but eager to spend the rest of his life with her was exciting.

  It was also a little terrifying, given his past. He’d be launching out into uncharted territory. Would he be able to make her happy? Or would there come a time when things wouldn’t be as easy or fun as they were now?

  “Yes, I am,” he told Gavin and, shaking his head at how quickly he’d fallen for her when he thought he could avoid love altogether, he pointed at a ring featuring a large round solitaire. “That one looks like her.”

  “Are you kidding?” Gavin cried. “That’s a big diamond! It’ll cost you ten thousand dollars, at least!”

  The sales associate handed it to Eli, and he looked it over carefully. Unfortunately, the price was as high as Gavin had predicted, so he let his brother talk him into putting it back until he could devote some more thought to whether he really wanted to make such a purchase.

  But over the next week, all he wanted to do was go back and buy that ring.

  “Are you sure she’ll say yes?” Gavin asked when Eli brought it up again while they were lifting weights one evening at the school gym. “Because every time I talk to her, she seems dead set on leaving Silver Springs as soon as school gets out. I mean, if she won’t even stay here and teach another year...”

  Eli had been a little worried about that, too. He knew she liked New Horizons and the area. She liked Aiyana, the rest of the staff, the students, too. And when she was with him? He got the feeling he meant a lot to her. Sometimes, just the way she looked at him seemed to speak volumes—especially when they were making love. But she’d never tried to commit him, never talked as if they had a future together. “I called the store this morning. The owner knows Mom, said I can surprise Cora with the ring and then return it if she says no.”

  “So you want to risk it.”

  He finished loading the barbell he was about to use. “The idea of pro
posing to her—of marrying her—has somehow taken hold of me, and I can’t get it out of my head.”

  Gavin studied him closely. “You love her.”

  With a groan for the physical strain it cost him, Eli did eight clean and jerks before dropping the barbell. “Yeah, I do,” he responded and realized that was the first time he’d ever said it out loud.

  Chapter Nineteen

  A week later, when Eli got up to play basketball on Saturday morning, Cora fell back asleep, so she was totally out of it when she heard a knock at the door. Eli didn’t get many visitors. He gave so much to the school during the day that when he retired to his “cave,” as Cora fondly called it, he demanded absolute privacy, and everyone knew it. That was what made it possible for her to stay with him so often. No one made a big deal about her almost living there because no one was privy to what he did, or who he spent his time with, after he disappeared from campus. Aiyana was about the only person who ever came over. Even Gavin and Eli’s younger brothers typically called or texted him rather than showing up. So Cora wasn’t surprised when she peered through the peep hole to find his adoptive mother on the stoop.

  “Shoot,” she whispered and waited, hoping Aiyana would realize he wasn’t home and leave. Aiyana knew they’d been sleeping together, of course, but seeing Cora standing in his living room, wearing his T-shirt made it all a bit more...brazen, especially because he didn’t welcome a lot of people into his house and she was becoming a regular fixture.

  But Aiyana didn’t leave. Another knock sounded.

  Accepting the fact that she wasn’t going to get out of this encounter, Cora used her fingers to comb down her hair and answered the door. “Hi,” she said, squinting against the sunlight. Although Christmas was only a week away, the weather felt more like March or April.

  Aiyana grinned as her eyes swept over Cora, then took in what she could see of the living room.

  Nervously smoothing the wrinkles from Eli’s T-shirt, Cora turned to follow her gaze. “What?”

  “I’ve never seen this house look so...homey. My son actually has a Christmas tree—probably for the first time since he moved out of my house. And look, there’re photographs of the two of you, and art you’ve created. Even a few plants. Wow. Who knew so much could change in such a short time.”

  “I tend to fill my space with the things I love,” she said but flushed immediately after because this wasn’t “her space.”

  “This place was pretty barren,” she added lamely.

  “So was his soul. Fortunately, that’s changed, too,” Aiyana said, but she didn’t allow Cora any time to comment. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course. Except Eli’s not here. He’s—”

  “At the basketball court. I know. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up so I decided to walk over.”

  Cora didn’t get the impression she’d first tried the faculty housing. Aiyana had known right where to find her. “Are you...upset about something?” she asked as she stepped out of the way so that Aiyana could come in. Her mind raced through the past several days, searching for any incident in her classroom that might’ve warranted a visit from her “boss.”

  “Not at all. I’d like to go Christmas shopping today and was hoping you’d be interested in going with me. That’s all.”

  Cora felt her eyes widen. “You mean...the three of us?”

  “No. Just you and me. Eli’s not much fun to take on an extended shopping trip. He’s tolerant, if you know what you want and are just going to pick it up. But wandering around, admiring lights and decorations and such?” She shook her head. “Not particularly.”

  Cora laughed. She’d taken him to Rodeo Drive the last time they visited LA, since he’d never been there, and found that to be true. He was far more interested in seeking out places to eat or heading to the beach to play sand volleyball or go body surfing than shopping. “True.”

  “I thought maybe we could make a day of it, go to lunch, too. There’s a delicious Thai place in Santa Barbara that I’d love to treat you to.”

  “I’d like that,” Cora said.

  “Great. How soon can you be ready?”

  “Thirty minutes?”

  “No rush. Just come over to my place when you’re done.”

  “Sounds like fun.” Cora was so excited about having the opportunity to be alone with her biological mother for hours—Christmas shopping, no less—that she grabbed Aiyana and hugged her on impulse. “I love you,” she said. “You are so wonderful.”

  Although Aiyana permitted the hug, Cora could tell she was taken aback. When Cora let go, Aiyana searched Cora’s face wearing a bemused expression. But then she smoothed the hair out of Cora’s eyes and smiled. “I’m so glad you came to us,” she said and kissed her cheek, just as she might’ve done had they been together when Cora was just a child.

  Cora’s heart was pounding when Aiyana left. She couldn’t even make herself get ready. She sat on the couch, remembering every minute of that exchange. There was a moment when Aiyana was staring into her face that Cora had almost told her. She’d come so close...

  She was still sitting on the couch in a bit of a daze when Eli walked through the door a few minutes later.

  “Hey. What are you doing out here?” He used the bottom of his T-shirt to wipe the perspiration from his forehead as he spoke.

  Cora summoned the energy to stand. “Nothing.”

  His eyebrows came together as he dropped his shirt, which was now stretched and wrinkled as well as sweaty. “Was I gone too long? Have you been waiting for me?” He checked the clock on his phone, which he’d left on the counter. “I thought I’d wake you up when I got back. You usually sleep until nine or ten on weekends.”

  “I wasn’t getting impatient. Your mother came by and woke me up.”

  He crossed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. “What for?”

  “To invite me to go shopping with her.”

  “Does she want me to go, too?”

  “No. Just me.” That was the beauty of it. Aiyana had sought her out. She wasn’t merely a tagalong because she was dating Eli.

  “Really.” He eyed her speculatively. “Do you want to go?”

  “I’d like to—if you wouldn’t mind me skipping out on whatever we might’ve done today.” They didn’t have any specific plans, but they’d started to spend all their weekends together, so she knew the expectation would be there.

  “Of course I wouldn’t mind, not if you think it’d be fun.” He downed his water. “So it’s a girls’ day, huh?”

  “That’s how she presented it.”

  “With as much as you admire my mother, I bet you’ll enjoy that. I don’t get any attention when we go over there on Sundays,” he joked.

  “You get plenty of attention—always.” He was almost all she could think about. If only he knew how drastically he’d impacted her in every way. “But you’re right, I’m excited to spend some time with her.”

  He walked over, took her hands and straightened the rings she wore on three different fingers so that the jeweled parts no longer slanted to the left or right. “What is it about her?”

  “Nothing,” she lied. “I just...like her.”

  “I’m glad, because she likes you, too. Anyway, I’ll take some of the boys riding. I promised those who scored the highest on Mr. Travers’s chemistry test that I’d take them out one day.”

  Cora flinched beneath the guilt she felt for continuing to keep such a secret. “Perfect time to fulfill that promise.”

  Being careful not to get her sweaty, he leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I have a few minutes,” she said with a promising grin and pulled him into the bathroom so they could shower together. She needed something powerful to help her forget the confrontation she knew was coming—eventual
ly.

  * * *

  The day seemed so boring without Cora. That he missed her even more than he thought he would told Eli how much he was coming to rely on her company, which made him a little nervous. Would that turn out to be a bad thing?

  If she insisted on leaving Silver Springs at the end of the school year it would...

  He held off contacting her until it was almost dinnertime, hoping she’d get back. But then he texted her.

  How much longer are you going to be? You guys are taking forever.

  We’re on our way home.

  Have you eaten? Should I turn on the barbecue and grill a couple of burgers? He’d been waiting to eat with her.

  No. I’m bringing you sushi. We had Thai for lunch but ended up staying so long we went to sushi for dinner. It was a great place. You’re going to love it.

  Did you get all of your shopping done?

  Most of it.

  What’d you get me? he teased.

  Nothing. I already had your present, she wrote back with a winking emoji.

  Where is it? I’ll go take a look.

  You’d better not snoop around! You’ll see it at Christmas.

  He imagined how surprised she was going to be. I’ve got yours, too. Picked it up today.

  I have no clue what it could be.

  And she’d never guess. What he didn’t know was whether she’d like it.

  * * *

  Christmas morning dawned to dark skies and rain. Cora listened to the soft patter hitting Eli’s house as she watched him sleep. She cared so much about him, had never been so in love—and that meant she had to tell him the truth. Every minute they grew closer under false pretenses was a minute she feared he might one day hold against her. Aiyana, too. She’d been sleeping with him for four months. That was such a long time to perpetuate a lie, so long she’d definitely struggle to explain why she didn’t speak up sooner.

  But when she looked back, she couldn’t isolate a point in time when she could definitively say, That’s when I should’ve said something. As soon as she picked a point like that, she’d realize what the truth could’ve cost her—Sunday dinners at Aiyana’s, the nights she’d spent in Eli’s arms and the days she’d spent looking forward to them, the shopping excursion she’d enjoyed with her biological mother last week, being invited to Aiyana’s for Christmas Eve. If she’d told the truth from the beginning, most of that, maybe none of it, wouldn’t have happened.