‘Was Alex here?’
‘Yeah, about half an hour ago.’
I hurried to his office. Excitement and nerves vied for the privilege of churning up my tummy.
‘Alex? What’s up?’
‘Ah, Katie, close the door please.’ My heart hammered in my chest (also nothing to worry about, my doctor claimed). ‘Listen, I need a favour please.’ I nodded. ‘Will you mentor Smith?’
‘Sure … Who’s Smith?’
‘The new hire in sales. I believe you trained him a few weeks ago. Young guy? Dark hair?’
Ah yes, the sniggerer from the training session. Delightful chap.
‘I remember him,’ I said carefully. ‘Isn’t there someone else? I mean someone else for me to mentor. I’m happy to do it, but maybe another of the new hires? What about the girl who started with him? You know, the skinny one?’
‘I’m afraid she’s already taken.’ He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. ‘I was supposed to assign him last week but with all the meetings lately, I completely forgot. I’m his corporate buddy’ (he made ditto fingers) ‘and of course everyone else’s buddies already assigned their mentors. So I’m stuck, and I’ve got the meeting with Clive in thirty minutes. Can you do it? Please? I’d owe you big-time.’
‘What do I have to do?’
‘It’s easy. You’ll just let him shadow you in your job, teach him the ropes, take him on some client visits. In fact, you could take him to see Jenny. Show him what it’s really like in the trenches.’
As if I’d ever inflict Jenny on him. Or anyone, for that matter. She tore strips off me over the phone. She’d eat a new hire alive.
‘Do you want me to mentor him or get him to hand in his resignation? I don’t know, Alex. I’ve got a lot on at the moment.’
‘C’mon, it’ll be fun.’
‘It doesn’t sound like much fun.’ But I knew I’d do it, just because Alex was the one asking.
‘No, you’re right, it’s a pain in the arse and you’ll probably hate it. Which is why I insist you let me take you out for drinks. I won’t take no for an answer.’
As if I’d reject an offer like that. Although, a little voice whispered. Rob’s kisses were less than twenty-four hours old. On the other hand, we’d only kissed. And Alex wasn’t exactly proposing to whisk me away for a dirty weekend. We’d simply be two colleagues going for drinks.
‘I suppose it’s the least you can do for me,’ I said.
‘There’s a lot more I could do, but HR might object.’ He grinned as I imagined all the things HR might object to. Then I thought about Rob and felt properly guilty. And then I remembered my lunchtime plans, which made Rob disappear and gave me a whole new set of reasons to worry about HR.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
‘Ready?’ said Ellie when I stopped by her desk. She was putting on lipstick and trying to get her hair to lie down flat. As if successfully stalking her boyfriend depended on perfect lips.
‘If I said no, would you let me get sandwiches from Pret instead of following Thomas and Colleen? I think that’s a much healthier option, don’t you?’
She shook her head, her hair already flying away. ‘That’s what you’re wearing?’ She stared at my top, her hands jammed on her hips.
I thought my loose red tunic and black wide-legged trousers looked rather fetching. Especially given how hard it was to wear my usual clothes these days. I’d taken to safety-pinning some of my trousers. It was thrilling not to feel my waistband pinching but things were getting serious, sartorially speaking.
‘Did you expect a moustache and a hat?’ I said.
‘I mean that top. It’s a bit conspicuous.’
‘Ellie, we’re following your boyfriend at lunchtime, not stealing the Hope Diamond. I’m sure I’m not the only person in a red top in Central London today. It is summertime.’
She knew I wasn’t going to change, so she let it go. ‘Let’s go wait in the park till they come out. They’ll have to pass us.’
‘Where are they going for lunch?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know, do I? That’s why we’re following them.’
‘I thought you knew.’
‘Well, I would have if you’d let me look in his diary.’
Suddenly our little jaunt, where we happened to turn up in the same sandwich shop as lovely Thomas, had turned sinister.
‘Are you saying that we actually have to follow them? As in hiding behind pillars? This is crazy, you know.’
‘You said you’d do it. Come on or we’ll miss them.’ She strode toward the lift without looking back.
Ellie wasn’t one for changing her mind once she got her teeth into an idea. I tried very hard to put myself in her shoes (and her top, since she objected to mine). Would I be as stalky in the same situation? Probably. I didn’t even need a boyfriend to do it. I cringed at the memory of last year’s Operation Alex. It seemed like a reasonable plan. If I happened to be in the same places as him, naturally he couldn’t fail to notice how compatible we were. Granted, our compatibility involved mostly pubs where I knew he liked to drink. Even I wasn’t mad enough to check his diary and turn up to his football matches. He might believe I liked the same pubs but it would be a stretch to claim a passion for watching amateur footie in the park across town from me.
The little square next to our building was already busy with the smokers who’d been banned from the pavements in front of their offices. I wasn’t a fan of smoking but did sometimes feel bad for them. They were already treated like lepers. It was only a matter of time before they’d be forced to wear bells around their necks in public and be branded with a scarlet S over their lungs.
‘There they are!’ I whispered, catching a glimpse of Colleen’s bright blue mac. I could see why Ellie worried about her. This wasn’t a woman who worried about puckery trousers or bra strap indentations. She was, I noted, also very touchy-feely, and when the touchee was your boyfriend, naturally you’d be a bit concerned.
We moved to follow them at a safe distance as they headed for the Tube. ‘Have you got money on your Oyster card?’ Ellie whispered.
My need to top up could scupper the mission.
‘I’m not sure.’
I held my breath as I tapped my card against the turnstile. Beep beep beep. Of course there wasn’t enough money on it. ‘Go ahead, I’ll catch up,’ I told her as she hurried through.
I ran to the pay point and jammed a note into the machine. Come on, come on. I couldn’t lose sight of Ellie. With two Tube lines to choose from, each going in two directions, I didn’t fancy my chances of finding them.
I bolted through the turnstile, grateful for shoes I could run in. As I pounded down the escalator I realised I was too late. They’d either gone on the Central Line or one level deeper to the Piccadilly Line. Which had better lunch options?
I had no idea, so since the Central Line required running down fewer stairs, I took the lazy option. East or west? God, I hated pressure-cooker decisions. West was closest. Laziness won out again. I could hear the train pulling into the platform as I got to the bottom of the stairs.
The platform was heaving, as one would expect at lunchtime. They packed into the carriages, office workers and noisy groups of tourists, until the platform was nearly empty. Then I saw her.
Three carriages away, Ellie spotted me too. Get on the train, she gestured, then pointed further up the carriages.
I hopped through the closing doors, sweaty, agitated and getting hungry. If this was spying then James Bond could keep his job. Slowly I excused my way through the packed carriage to the doors at the end. Danger, risk of death if used while train is moving. The wind whipped through the carriage as I opened the door. ‘Sorry!’ I yelled to the startled passengers.
The things I did for my friends.
When I got to Ellie, her eagle eyes were trained on lovely Thomas and Colleen in the next carriage. ‘We’ll just hop off when they do,’ she said as the train slowed for the next station
. ‘Look, there they go!’
Now that there were so many people around, and our chances of getting caught were slimmer, I started to have a bit more fun.
‘This’ll be easy,’ I said. ‘If we’re caught we’ll say we were shopping. I actually do need to pick up a few things. If we’ve got time we could stop in Selfridges. Or is that a bit far from here? I guess it’s at the other end. Maybe John Lewis instead? That’s not too … What’s the matter?’ I’d been so preoccupied with our shopping alibi that I’d lost sight of Thomas.
‘I don’t believe it. They’ve gone in there.’ She pointed to a sex shop.
‘No. Ellie, they can’t have.’
‘I’m telling you, I just saw them go in. I feel ill. I don’t need to see any more. Let’s go.’ She turned back towards the Tube station.
‘No way,’ I said desperately. ‘You must be wrong. We’ll stay. You’ll see. They won’t come out of there. Look. There’s a suit shop just next door. That’s probably where they went. Thomas just needs some new clothes, that’s all. Didn’t you say he wanted to change his style? I’m sure that’s where he is. Shall we walk by? You’ll see.’
Meekly she followed me. I willed Thomas to be in the shop getting his inseam measured or perusing the summer wools.
But he wasn’t buying Italian suits. The shop, we could see, was empty.
‘It doesn’t prove anything,’ I said. ‘You can go if you want. I’m staying because I’m sure they’re not in a sex shop. Go ahead, go on. I’ll prove it to you.’
‘No, I’ll wait with you.’
I knew she’d stay. Ellie led with her heart. She wanted to believe there was a logical explanation as much as I did. Plus, I knew she hated it when I called her bluff.
Nearly fifteen minutes went by and my tummy was rumbling like a concrete mixer when Thomas and Colleen emerged from the sex shop. He carried a bag. She had her arm looped through his. They were laughing. I stared at Ellie, not knowing what to say.
‘Let’s go,’ she said. ‘I’ve seen enough.’
I put my arm around her and we walked slowly amongst the lunchtime throng. They were oblivious to the breaking heart in their midst.
She wasn’t ready to talk until we finished work. I had no idea what to say to her anyway. I couldn’t pretend everything was okay. Whatever Thomas had bought in that shop proved that things were far from okay.
As I knew she would, Ellie had worked through every possible scenario. I’d watched her carefully over the desks all afternoon, ready to spring into action at the first sign of tears. I could see the emotions playing across her face – confusion, hurt, anger. At one point I swore she argued with herself. Blah blah blah blah. Oh yeah? Well what about blah blah blah? Good point. And another thing … But she didn’t cry. I think she was too shocked for that.
‘I’m not going to say anything to him,’ she declared as we hurried to catch the Tube home.
I stopped walking, much to the surprise of the commuters walking closely behind.
‘You’re not going to say anything?’ I’d never seen Ellie practise such restraint. I suspected a trap.
She shook her head. ‘No. I’m tired of rushing to conclusions. You’re right. What do we know, really? Only that he went with his friend into a shop. That’s all. It might have been her bag. Hell, maybe it was his, I don’t know. We haven’t been seeing each other that long. How do I know he doesn’t have some kind of fetish for wearing feather boas or zebra-striped mankinis when I’m not around?’
I should have been happy that she was finally seeing reason, only it wasn’t reason at all. It was denial.
‘I never said you should ignore this, Ellie. I was all for giving him the benefit of the doubt when you were clearly behaving insanely. But I have to say that if my boyfriend came out of a sex shop with a woman, I’d have a problem with it.’
Tears finally filled her eyes. She sat on the bus stop bench.
‘I’m frightened, Katie. If I confront him and there’s an innocent explanation, he may very well break up with me for following him. And he’d be justified after the last time I went nuts on him. He’d know I snooped on his phone. He’d know I’m insane. Nobody wants a crazy girlfriend.’
I felt terrible for so flippantly calling her crazy. Sometimes I could be a real dick.
‘I understand. So you’re just going to wait and see what happens? I guess that’s okay as long as you do talk to him at some point. It’s one thing if it’s all a big misunderstanding, but you don’t deserve to be treated badly. We’ll monitor the situation.’
‘What are you now, a UN observer?’
‘I’ve always looked nice in blue hats. They match my eyes.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I nearly fell off my chair a week later when Alex’s email pinged into my box. The two little words I’d waited six years to hear. ‘Drinks tonight?’ I went straight to Ellie but she was on the phone. It took all my restraint not to disconnect her call.
‘Lunch,’ I mouthed while she said her good-byes.
Of course Ellie knew about my Alex-infatuation. I’d been a smitten fool for as long as she’d known me. What she didn’t know anything about was my date with Rob.
She wriggled as I told her about the email, and our recent more-flirty-than-usual conversations.
‘I can’t believe it!’ she squealed. ‘And you look so pretty today too. Just think – that’ll be your first-date outfit.’
I examined my royal blue empire waist dress, which definitely flattered my figure. It had been years since I’d been able to say that. Incurable disease or not, I had a waist.
‘You’re jumping ahead, Ellie. It’s not a date. He offered to take me for drinks to say thanks for some work I’ve done for him. It might be nothing.’
‘Are you trying to convince me, or you?’
I grinned. ‘Me. You know what I’m like when I get nervous. I’ll make a complete tit of myself if I get overexcited.’ She nodded, no doubt thinking about her cousin. She’d been very sweet to set me up with him after we met at her dad’s birthday party. It wasn’t her fault that he mistook the purpose of our meeting. I should have read the signals when he formally shook my hand at the bar. Instead I deluded myself that since Ellie had a bit of German on one side, he was just respecting his culture. I also should have noted that he asked a lot of questions about my job. It began to sound like an interview and any normal person would have put two and two together. But not me. I ploughed on, flirting, answering his questions with double-entendres, inching closer on the sofa we shared in the busy bar. When he said he thought there was something he could do for me, and I answered … ugh, I still shudder. I growled that I just bet there was. It honestly never occurred to me that as a recruitment consultant he was only there to offer me career advice. Ellie had to tell him I was on pain medication that day.
‘There is one thing,’ I said as Ellie ate her superfood salad. It was best to just come straight out with it, right? ‘Rob.’
‘Rob?’
I nodded. ‘We’ve been on a few dates. Well, one, technically. We snogged. A lot. It’s nothing serious, but it does …’
… It does what? Exactly what had Rob’s kisses meant? I’d be damned if I knew. He’d been completely silent on the subject for two weeks, as if he’d come down with amnesia. I didn’t get it. We saw each other at the club events as usual, and my flirtation bordered on sexual harassment. I’d even bought some new clothes that, if I did say so myself, made the most of my emerging figure. And I had to say so myself since he didn’t even seem to notice. I fished so often for compliments that he finally asked me to stop.
‘Does it matter about Rob?’ I asked Ellie.
She considered my question. ‘That depends on how you feel. Do you like him?’
‘Of course I like him, or I wouldn’t have kissed him. He’s a good friend, a nice, fun, handsome man.’
‘But?’
But Rob had obviously done some kind of secret arithmetic and factored himself out
of the equation. It didn’t matter if I still wanted to work the sums together.
‘But this is Alex. Alex,’ I said to Ellie instead. ‘It’s a different thing altogether.’
‘Would you kiss Alex if you got the chance? Given what’s happened with Rob?’
‘I don’t think I need to worry about that,’ I said. But I was worrying, a little, and not just about what might happen with Alex.
I must have done something to make Rob go off me in a single night. If I had any guts I’d ask him. Imagine that conversation. Hey Rob, tell me. Was it my kissing that put you off, or maybe my conversation? Was it because I didn’t laugh at your favourite knock-knock joke? Come on, Rob, you can be honest with me. I can (sniff) take it.
I might never recover from knowing the answer. I knew I wouldn’t ask.
Ellie’s comment dragged me back to our lunch. ‘Colleen has been calling Thomas at home,’ she said. ‘He’s taken at least two calls while I was with him.’ She confessed this like it was her fault.
‘When you say you were with him, what exactly do you mean?’ If he answered his phone while they were in bed together I was going to punch him in the nose myself. ‘What did he say?’
‘I have no idea. I saw her name come up on his screen just before he snatched the phone and went off to the other room where I couldn’t hear him.’ She shook her head. ‘He didn’t say anything about the calls afterwards. You know what the weirdest thing is? He’s not acting weird. He’s just as loving and attentive as always. Wouldn’t he be distant if he was having an affair? Isn’t that a sign? And he hasn’t gone the other way either. He’s not being overly affectionate. And he doesn’t go MIA. I can always reach him on his phone. Sex is the same, no more, no less and no new tricks. It just doesn’t make any sense.’
‘Ellie, have you been googling again? You know we’ve talked about that.’ For my own good she’d made me triple-promise not to google my racing heart and weight loss. I should have remembered to extract the same promise from her after we followed Thomas to the sex shop. Bad friend.
The Curvy Girls Club Page 15
