If You Ever Tell

by Carlene Thompson

  Gabriel drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I know,” he said finally. “I thought if I gave her enough time, she’d eventually adjust and accept the idea of me being with someone else.”

  “Adjust and accept!” Carmen laughed gently. “Gabe, if anything, you’re causing Sharon to do just the opposite. You’re giving her time to think of you as someone who will never remarry.”

  Carmen stared at the man beside her. The bright morning sun shone on his thick, curly hair, the same strawberry blond as Sharon’s before Gabe’s became laced with gray. Except for the hair, father and daughter bore no resemblance, though. While Sharon’s face was porcelain-skinned and softly curved, Gabriel’s was all strong planes with a slightly aquiline nose, and skin lined and leathery from the years he’d spent working the customary month on/month off schedule on excursion boats, starting as a deckhand and continuing to the position of pilot, and finally to captain.

  Carmen felt a wave of desperation rush over her. She hadn’t felt romantic love for years, and she’d never experienced the ardency she did for this man. The men in her past paled in comparison to Gabriel O’Brien. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him because he had a spoiled, selfish daughter who didn’t want him to be happy. Then he smiled at Carmen and she relaxed slightly. “You’re right, Carmen. Sharon does expect to be the only woman in my life. Maybe I’ve babied her too much.”

  “Maybe you have,” Carmen said carefully. She always felt as if she were walking on eggs with Gabe when it came to the subject of Sharon. “I certainly mean no criticism—I know your wife had trouble getting pregnant, how long you waited to have Sharon, how delicate her health was when she was a child. It’s only natural you’re protective. But Sharon is a healthy adult woman now. You should treat her like one. To do otherwise is almost insulting to her.”

  “I never thought of it that way,” Gabe said slowly.

  “Besides, we’re acting as if we’re doing something wrong and I’m really uncomfortable with that feeling. Aren’t you?” Carmen ventured.

  “Well, yes, I guess I am.”

  “After all, neither of us is married. There is nothing wrong about our love for each other.” She paused, feeling it was time for a lighter note. “Besides, I can’t even wear my beautiful engagement ring!”

  “You’re right,” Gabe said with the beginning of a smile. “Although I wish I could have bought a bigger diamond.”

  “Oh no, Gabe. What you got me is perfect! I love it,” Carmen said truthfully. She opened her bedside table drawer, withdrew and opened a jewelry box. She slipped on the engagement ring and held it up toward the window, allowing sunlight to set the one-carat diamond sparkling. “It’s absolutely beautiful, Gabe.”

  “If you say so. But if it had been two carats…”

  “It would have been too big for my taste.” Carmen wiggled her finger, making the diamond twinkle. “I want everyone to know we’re engaged, Gabe. I hope you do, too.”

  “I do.”

  “Then let’s go public.”

  “Go public?” Gabriel looked startled.

  “Tell people. See each other openly.” For a fleeting moment, Gabe looked trapped. “We need to do it soon, Gabe,” Carmen said rather urgently, then eased her tone. She didn’t want to sound frantic. “It’s just that we must be fair to everyone and tell them within the next couple of weeks if we’re going to marry in early September like we planned. We don’t want to spring this on the families.”

  “The families?” Gabriel asked.

  “Yes, Gabe. Well, Sharon and Kent and Daniel for you, of course. And I’ve always thought of Teresa as family—the daughter I was never lucky enough to have. I’m sure she’ll be flabbergasted about our plans. For once in my life, I’ve managed to keep a secret.”

  “Congratulations. Just don’t keep secrets from me. As for telling everyone soon…” Gabe seemed to waver for a moment. Then Carmen saw resolution slowly harden his expression. “You’re right. We should tell people we’re getting married. After all, September isn’t far away.”

  Inwardly, Carmen felt an almost dizzying euphoria, but she was careful to seem no more than pleased. “September will be here before we know it, and we do want to give Sharon some time to get used to the idea.” Carmen pretended to think, although she’d already come up with the idea weeks ago. “I say we make the announcement this week on the Fourth of July. Independence Day.”

  “This week?” Carmen watched as doubt flashed in Gabriel’s eyes. “Well, if Fourth of July is really important to you…”

  “Oh, it is!” Carmen’s voice grew soft and wooing. “Maybe it sounds silly to you, Gabe, but to me it’s symbolic. It signifies that we’d be free of sneaking, hiding, and actually lying to people. I love you. I don’t want to hide it and I certainly don’t want to lie about it.”

  Gabe looked at her warmly. “I love you, Carmen, and I don’t want to lie about our relationship, either. In fact, we won’t lie even one more time. We’ll make the announcement this week.”

  “Wonderful!” Carmen burst out, kissing him on the cheek.

  Gabe frowned and for a moment Carmen’s high spirits wavered. Then he said, “But you know, sweetheart, you’ll be breaking Herman Riggs’s heart.”

  Carmen giggled in relief. “I still feel guilty about using Herman as a smokescreen even though I know he didn’t feel anything except friendship for me.”

  “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. If Herman were madly in love with you, he’d be afraid to tell you because of his mama. And with good reason. That woman is like a mother tiger about her little boy and she weighs a good two hundred pounds. If Herman wanted to spend more time with you than her, she’d rip you to shreds.”

  This time Carmen burst out laughing, as usual making Gabriel grin at the unexpectedly deep chortles that sometimes emerged from her slender, elegant frame. “You’re right. Mrs. Riggs will never turn loose of that poor guy, and the sad thing is that I don’t think he really wants his freedom.”

  Gabe laughed, then grew quiet, leaned toward the bedside table, pulled a cigarette from a pack, and lit it. He took a deep draw and stared at the ceiling.

  “You usually only smoke when you’re troubled,” Carmen commented. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m thinking about Sharon.”

  “Oh, Gabe, I thought we’d settled the matter of telling her.”

  “We did. I was thinking about why she’s seemed so nervous and unhappy lately. I wonder if it’s because of Kent.”

  “I thought you liked him.”

  “I do, but he seems to have changed.” Gabe took another draw on his cigarette, then abruptly stubbed it out and turned on his side, propping his head on his hand and looking intensely at Carmen. “I think he’s acting more and more like his father did, and I couldn’t stand Hugh Farr.”

  “I met Kent when I became friends with Marielle. He was always friendly but not charming like Teri. I’m not around him much now, but when I do see him, he’s different. Almost rigid, humorless. I don’t think Teri is as close to him as she used to be, although she’s never said anything about their relationship. Now that you mention it, though, Kent does seem more like his father than he used to, and Hugh didn’t make a lot of friends with his superior manner.”

  “He was arrogant as hell! Acted like he was royalty, him with all his money and what he thought was his devastating way with the ladies. It never occurred to him girls just liked him for his money.”

  “Not Marielle,” Carmen said definitely.

  “No. Poor thing. Everyone knew her parents pushed her into that marriage—a marriage that never stopped Hugh from having affairs. Wendy certainly wasn’t the first.” Gabriel looked at Carmen. “Marielle must have known about Hugh’s other women.”

  “Yes, she knew,” Carmen said reluctantly.

  “Then why didn’t she leave him?”

  “She only mentioned his affairs a couple of times—the subject was fairly much off-limits. I feel like I’m betraying h
er by talking about them even with you. She was so hurt and embarrassed by them, but she was afraid if she left Hugh, he’d find a way to get custody of the children.” Carmen looked up and smiled bitterly. “Her fear wasn’t unfounded, Gabe. After all, when they finally did split up, Hugh got full custody of Teri.”

  “The bastard! He used Marielle’s mental troubles against her—troubles he caused.” Carmen looked at Gabe warily, her body tensing. He’d suddenly become furious at a time when he should be happy that they were finally going to announce their engagement. His mood frightened her, made her doubt his true joy over their upcoming marriage.

  No, Carmen thought firmly, trying to calm herself. He’d gotten furious when he was talking about Kent and Sharon and about how he feared Kent was becoming like his father. He’s not unhappy at the thought of getting married, she told herself. He’s simply worried about Sharon. Gabe is always worried about Sharon. After we’re married, though, his preoccupation with her will weaken. It has to, or we’ll never make it, because Sharon doesn’t like me and she’ll never stop interfering in our relationship.

  “I never liked Hugh, even when we were kids,” Gabe went on, seemingly unaware of Carmen’s inner turmoil. “Then he tried to keep Kent from marrying Sharon because, as he had the nerve to tell my daughter right to her face, ‘You’re just not Kent’s equal, intellectually or socially.’ That’s when I started hating him. Sharon was only nineteen and shy, insecure. She was devastated by what he’d said. Not only that, Hugh told his own son that if he married Sharon, he’d cut him off completely.”

  “You mean write him out of the will?”

  “Didn’t Marielle or Teresa tell you?”

  “The months before Sharon and Kent got married, Marielle was in the sanitarium and then at her aunt’s. I rarely saw her, and when I did, she never mentioned Kent’s relationship with Sharon, and neither did Teri when she stayed with me after the murders.”

  “Well, Hugh not only threatened to write Kent out of the will if he married Sharon; he also said he wouldn’t finish paying Kent’s tuition for college. The old bastard even put a codicil in the will demanding that if Hugh died, at the time of the death Kent had to produce evidence he was not secretly married to Sharon or the entire estate would go to Teresa.”

  Gabriel’s voice grew louder. “He said if Kent defied him, he wouldn’t let him in the house again, much less give him a position at the coal company. Kent didn’t have a job and had no money except for what Hugh gave him. And there was poor Sharon, so young and—” Gabriel cut off swiftly, snapping shut his mouth. Finally, he said, “Sharon was… committed to Kent.”

  Carmen gave Gabriel a soft, soothing kiss, but her mind was working feverishly and not about the announcement of her engagement. She had never been a fan of Kent’s, even when she was close to his mother. Carmen had seen signs of weakness in him, and she couldn’t stand weak men.

  When Sharon gave birth to Daniel six months after her marriage to Kent, Carmen and everyone else knew Sharon had been pregnant when Kent married her. If Hugh had been serious about completely cutting Kent out of the will if he were even secretly married to Sharon at the time of Hugh’s death, would Kent have had enough love for Sharon, enough strength of character, to marry her anyway? Carmen didn’t think so. Maybe Sharon hadn’t believed he would have, either.

  If Kent had abandoned Sharon, she would have refused an abortion and everyone would have known Kent was the father of her child. Meanwhile, Gabriel would have wreaked havoc on the reputation of both Kent and Hugh for “shaming” his daughter, and this was a small community.

  In light of those possibilities, Carmen thought, Hugh Farr’s murder had been perfectly timed for Sharon and Kent.

  2

  As they walked toward the barn, Daniel informed Teri that he had a loose front tooth, which he hoped would fall out before night so the tooth fairy would visit, and then proclaimed, “I want to ride one of those big horses with the fuzzy feet.”

  Kent grinned at her, his wavy black hair shining almost as much as Teresa’s long, straight locks. “He saw a Clydesdale in a book on horses the other day.”

  “Oh.” Teresa looked at her seven-year-old nephew solemnly. “Daniel, I’m sorry, but I don’t own any Clydesdales. They weigh about as much as a car and they eat over fifty pounds of food a day. Besides, they’re even taller than your daddy.”

  Daniel’s eyebrows drew together in disappointment. The sun shone on his strawberry blond hair and emphasized the freckles on his nose. He looked exactly like his mother, Sharon, who stood beside him clutching his shoulder as if she expected him to dash into the barn, mount a large stallion, and speed off into the wilderness. “But you have other big horses, Aunt Teri.”

  “Only three of the horses are mine. Some belong to other people. I run a sort of hotel for horses.” Daniel laughed. “But because you’ve never even ridden a horse before, I don’t think we should start with one of the big ones. I have one particularly in mind for you. In fact, I already told him about you and he’s really looking forward to having you ride him. His name is Caesar.”

  “Caesar! That sounds good!” Daniel said enthusiastically.

  “Just look at the horse, Daniel,” Sharon ordered. “Don’t touch him. He might bite you.”

  “Quit treating him like a baby,” Kent snapped.

  “Yeah, I’m not a baby!” Daniel burst out.

  Teresa strode ahead of them into the barn, gritting her teeth. Did they have to start a family argument now? If so, she didn’t want to get involved. “Right this way, folks,” she called, forcing herself to sound pleasant. “And keep your voices down. You’ll scare the horses.”

  Teresa led them into the coolness of the big white gabled barn. “Why do you have a rubber floor?” Sharon asked as her tennis shoes began squeaking.

  “It’s rubber matting over concrete,” Teri said. “It cushions the horses’ feet and has better traction. It’s also easier to clean and keeps urine from sinking into wood or dirt.”

  “You and Gus and Josh designed this barn, Teri,” Kent challenged. “I remember you telling me it would have a concrete floor, so you don’t have to worry about urine sinking into wood or dirt.”

  “Did you hear the part about it cushioning the horses’ feet?” Teri asked.

  “Aunt Teri wants her horses to be happy,” Daniel said stalwartly. “That’s why she made such a pretty barn with soft floors.”

  “Thank you, Daniel,” Teri answered. “I want the horses to be happy and comfortable.”

  She was aware of Sharon glancing around in obvious surprise. Teri guessed her sister-in-law, who had never set foot in the barn before today, had expected it to be dark, dank, and repellant. Instead, a dehumidifier kept the barn dry, and fiberglass windows and skylights cast diffused sunlight over the horses Teri’s handlers, Gus and his son, Josh, kept beautifully groomed. They had just finished cleaning the building and it still smelled pleasantly fresh.

  Sierra trotted along beside Teresa. The dog loved horses and most of them seemed to love her back. She pranced past Kent’s palomino Conquistador; the bay-colored quarter horse Captain Jack; the brown thoroughbred Sir Lancelot; and touched noses with Teri’s own solid black Arabian, Eclipse. Teresa stopped beside Eclipse and motioned to the horse in the next stall. “And here is Caesar,” she announced grandly.

  Daniel looked at the thirty-five-inch-tall chestnut Shetland pony. He frowned, then motioned for Teresa to lean down. He whispered in her ear, “I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but he’s short!”

  “That’s because he’s a Shetland. Some are even shorter than he is. A few are taller, but not many.” Daniel continued to study the horse critically. “Shetland ponies come from islands off the coast of Scotland, so far north they’re near the Arctic Circle. The history of this pony dates back almost five thousand years!” Teresa made her voice dramatic, hoping to dazzle the doubtful Daniel. “The people of the Shetland Islands taught the ponies to carry heavy loads of seaweed from the oce
an up to the fields to be used as fertilizer. The Shetland is a very strong breed, Daniel. It lived in conditions that would have killed most horses—terrible weather, little food—so it’s very strong. Yet it has the kindest eyes of any horse I’ve ever seen. Can’t you see what beautiful eyes Caesar has?”

  Daniel took a step closer and peered at Caesar’s gentle gaze. “Yeah, they’re pretty.” Then he looked down. “He’s got fuzzy feet like one of those Clyderails.”

  “Clydesdales. And yes, he does.” Teresa had brought an apple sliced in quarters and stored in a plastic bag. “Hold out your hand.” Daniel did as he was told and she dumped a piece of apple into his little hand. “Why don’t you try feeding him? Just hold out your hand with the apple slice in the palm. Caesar will take the apple piece right into his mouth.” She looked at Sharon, who already had her mouth open to protest. “Caesar is used to eating out of hands, even children’s. He won’t hurt you, Daniel.”

  The little boy stepped closer to the horse and held out the piece of apple. Caesar bent his head and delicately took the apple into his mouth. Daniel giggled. “His lips are so soft and they tickle!”

  “I told you. Caesar knows his manners and he loves children.”

  Daniel reached for another quarter of the apple and this time chortled when the horse lifted the apple slice and began happily, if messily, munching. After Daniel had given the rest of the fruit to Caesar, he burst out “I want to give him another apple!”

  “One is all he needs right now. We don’t want him to get a tummy ache from eating too many snacks.” Teresa smiled as Daniel reached out and stroked the horse’s muzzle. Caesar snorted, then pushed his face more forcefully into Daniel’s hand. “He likes you.”

  “And I like him!” Daniel beamed at his aunt. “We’re already good buddies. Can I take my lessons on him?”

  “I told you I’d picked him out especially for you. We’ll start tomorrow,” Teresa said. “This is Sunday, Caesar’s day off, but he’ll be waiting for you in the morning.”