Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge

by Cindy K. Green

  “He can’t be. He hates me.”

  “He loves you.” She giggled her answer.

  “He doesn’t love me. He’s still upset with me.”

  “Believe what you want, but if a boy drove an hour away to hear me play, I’d give it a second thought.”

  Luke started coming down the aisle toward me. He looked really good, dressed in a dark grey shirt and khaki pants with his hair brushed perfectly into place. And then I saw in his hands he held a single white rose.

  Tears crept into my throat, but I couldn’t cry. No one would understand why I’d turned into such a baby lately—least of all Luke. But he was here. I’d treated him terribly and he was here to support me. My heart pounded, and I realized maybe I did love Luke Ryan. I’d spent two months getting to know him and becoming his friend. And then this week, we’d let that friendship grow a little deeper and blossom into something more. He’d let me see his heart, and I ended up hurting him. But I would make recompense. I wasn’t sure how, but I would prove to him—to everyone—that I was worthy of him and that I cared for him deeply.

  And maybe one day he’d forgive me.

  I met him at the end of the aisle, away from Amy’s prying ears. “Hi,” I said hoping to tone down my excitement.

  “Hi,” he answered back with a slight smile. It wasn’t a pained smile like he’d given me last night. In fact, I really believed that I might get one of his heart-stopping, gorgeous smiles out of him if I tried.

  “I, uh, didn’t know what to wear.” He touched his shirt and glanced down to his pants before returning his gaze to mine. “I’ve never been to a piano recital until today.”

  “You look great. I mean you’re fine…what you’re wearing is fine.” I was such an idiot, but Luke smiled at me again—a little bit bigger this time.

  “You look nice yourself…I mean, beautiful.”

  Had he just called me beautiful? If it had come from any other guy, I would have told him he was full of it, but with Luke it was different. I had a feeling he wasn’t a guy who threw compliments away.

  “Thanks.” I knew I had to be blushing like two blooming roses because my face felt so hot. “It’s a new dress. My mom made it. She’s a whiz with the sewing machine.”

  “Well, you look great in it. Oh, this is for you.” He handed me the rose, decorated in our favorite superhero’s colors.

  I fingered the attached ribbons. “Red, white and blue, huh?”

  “In honor of our mutual admiration.” He smiled. “Well, I’m sure you have to get back. I just wanted to say I hope it goes great for you.”

  “Thank you, Luke.” I reached out and took his hand. “I mean it, really. Now come on and sit with Amy. She’s driving me crazy, and I already have huge butterflies.” I led him over to the row behind mine, and then returned to my seat. I glanced at my parents on the opposite side, three rows back. My mother caught my eye, and she gave an encouraging nod.

  I turned back to face forward. This was it. Succeed or fail—today I’d do my best.

  ~*~

  It was over! Finally! And I felt so free, as if I could finally breathe. Maybe I’d been holding my breath for the last week or longer preparing for this day. Whatever. It was over and now I had some things to sort out.

  First, I had to find Mom and Dad, and then I had to talk to Luke.

  My parents met me in the vestibule looking very happy—especially my dad. He must have spoken to Mrs. Leeds, my piano teacher.

  Please tell me he heard good things, I prayed silently.

  Mom gave me hug, followed by Dad. “You were terrific, honey,” Mom said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so focused in my life.”

  I wanted to burst out laughing because not only had my mother used that dreaded word, but she thought I’d actually been focused when I’d probably been the least focused ever. It might have looked that way because maybe I’d gotten carried away knowing Luke sat in the audience watching me. Or maybe in my heart I was determined to prove to those school reps that I was worthwhile. Whatever it was, I’d played my heart out.

  “I just spoke with Mrs. Leeds,” my dad began. I’d never seen him looking so pleased. “The school representatives loved you. No official word yet, but we should hear something later today.”

  My heart thumped. How could it be? Was I really good enough? Could this be Your plan for my future, Lord? This was good news, right? Yes, it was good news. I pressed a hand to my stomach. Excitement twirled within, tempered with an amount of nervousness. “Dad, I’m glad. I mean that’s exciting. Thanks for pushing me to live up to my potential.”

  Isn’t that what parents always want for their kids?

  “I knew you could do it.”

  “We both did.” Mom leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  I inhaled a breath and prepared to speak. “I know I’ve been a complete nightmare to you guys this week.”

  “No, honey,” Mom tried to disagree.

  “I have. Listen, I just want to say that I’m sorry.” I clutched the white rose in my hand (thankfully the thorns had been removed) and braced for my little speech. “Honestly, I think I was just scared. I didn’t know if I even wanted to get into this school and change everything. You know me. I’m such a homebody and like everything to stay the same. But, I realized that this was a good thing. If I get in, it’s going to be hard and an adjustment, but I think it’ll be worth it.”

  “That’s good to hear, Andi,” said my dad. He gave me a smile, a glint of pride in his eyes.

  “Having said that, I, uh, I know that piano is something special. It will always be a part of my life in one way or the other, but I think there are times when I need to be a normal teenager, too. Not like I’m planning to go wild and crazy. But maybe there might be a…”

  “Something like homecoming,” my mother supplied.

  “Yeah, something like that. Maybe. Sometime.” I smiled hopefully at them both.

  “We’ve been talking, your mother and I.” Dad looked at Mom, and then back to me. “Going to homecoming might not be the worst thing in the world.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded, and I couldn’t believe it.

  “You made some mistakes this week, and I’m sorry you didn’t think you could come to us. I always want you to feel comfortable enough to tell to us anything.” He laid an arm around my shoulders. “Maybe it’s time to reestablish some new house rules.”

  “You are getting older,” my mother spoke up.

  “We’ll talk about it more when we get home,” said Dad.

  I was in the midst of trying to recover from this new side to my parents when Amy approached us with Luke at her side.

  I introduced my parents to Luke, and he acted very polite with them, exactly like the kind of boy you would want to introduce to your parents.

  They talked for a moment about his mother and how she’s working for Regal Realty. Then my dad picked up that Luke played baseball, and they talked for like five minutes about some World Series back in 1986 before Luke was even born. Luke should watch out or soon they’d be talking golf and setting up tee times.

  “Luke,” my mom addressed him. “Please, make sure and come by the house whenever you like. Andrea really needs the Geometry help.”

  “It’s really me who needs the help,” Luke informed her.

  Mom laughed, and then she and Dad left the three of us alone.

  Amy followed them not two minutes later.

  That left me alone with Luke and totally unsure of how to bring up homecoming. I mean, what were the odds of him asking again? Probably nil. I was still trying to get over the shock that he’d shown up at the recital and that he was even speaking to me again. What could I do to make things go back to normal? Of course, who’s to say what was normal anymore?

  “You played great, Andrea. I mean it. You have a special gift, and I completely understand why your parents have been so hard-core on you.”

  “Thanks, but don’t tell them that.” I leaned
a little closer and gave him a teasing smile before standing straight again.

  “I bet Julliard comes calling soon.”

  “We’ll see.” I sort of rolled my eyes.

  “I don’t doubt you’ll achieve what you set your mind to.” He smiled. “Well, I better jet.” He pulled me into a hug.

  I mean, I was completely encompassed in his embrace. My heart started to pound.

  Then he placed a light kiss on my cheek and pulled back. “Bye, Andrea.”

  “Bye, Luke.”

  Then he walked away.

  I felt crushed.

  He hadn’t even broached the subject of homecoming. But really why would he? I told him I couldn’t go. He’d been angry, but I guess he forgave me anyway and decided to just be friends.

  But I didn’t want to just be friends with Luke. I should have stopped him and told him everything, but I didn’t. Like the idiot that I am, I let him get away.

  I guess like the old baseball saying goes: three strikes and you’re out.

  21

  Well, Lord, I did it. I made it through this week and my recital. With Your help, I actually did well. Terrific even. And being the horrible sinner that I am, I’m still not happy. Not that You promise us happiness in this life or anything. I should be finding joy in You. However, I am a sinner as aforementioned, and a teenager, so it’s very hard not to think of the temporal versus the eternal. I know it’s best that Luke and I just stay friends. It makes sense in my head, but somewhere between there and my heart the idea makes me ache inside. How can I just go back to being Luke’s friend? I mean, I may not be allowed to officially date for another year and three months, but that doesn’t mean Luke is going to wait for me. I don’t think I can watch him go out with some other girl. Where do I go from here?

  After wheeling the desk chair over to the window, I set my elbow onto the pane and rested my chin on my opened palm. My dampened eyes focused on the birds darting from the tree in our yard to the telephone wires overhead. Another tear slithered down my face. I tried not to think about it, but whenever I thought about Luke and how he’d shown up today and been so—we’ll let’s face it, wonderful—I welled up all over again.

  It felt like my heart had been ripped out and torn into a million pieces. I don’t know why, exactly. Luke hadn’t done anything. It had been me. All me.

  And it’s not like we’d gone out a long time. It was more the knowledge of knowing that whatever hopes and dreams I’d imagined would never be realized. It was the knowledge that I could have been a help to him and instead I’d become a heartache.

  Dragging my wrist over my eyes, I smeared wetness across my face, and I didn’t even care. I didn’t care that mascara and eye shadow were probably caked from eye to cheek. I didn’t care that I still wore the dress from my recital and it had become littered with teardrops. I just didn’t care. I’d lost all desire to care about anything else.

  A knock sounded at my door, and I didn’t have the energy to turn around and see who it was. What did it matter?

  “Andrea?” It was Mom. “I have something for you.” I didn’t say anything and neither did she for like a whole minute. “I’ll leave it right here, then.” She left the room.

  I swiveled the chair in the opposite direction. I took in the dark blue fabric which covered the upper part of my bedroom door. It was another dress. A party dress. My mom had made me a party dress. Rising from my seat, I felt a weakness in my legs. It couldn’t actually be physical weakness because it wasn’t like I’d been sitting here without the benefit of food and water for weeks upon weeks pining over lost love. It had only been like a half an hour. Must be the crying. Emotions really wear you out.

  I picked up the hanger and my mouth pulled down in awe. I’d never seen such a beautiful dress. I’d always balked at letting Mom make very many of my clothes because…well, who wears homemade clothes these days?

  But this was a great dress. It had a square neckline with spaghetti straps and was made out of this flowing soft material that probably would come like an inch above my knee. I practically sprinted to the full-length mirror inside my closet and held the dress in front of me. It looked perfect. More tears blurred my vision. When had my mother had the time to make me a dress for homecoming?

  After rinsing off my face, I carried my precious gift down the hallway and entered the sewing room. I watched my Mom busily working at cleaning up pieces of material off her sewing table. She was humming and seemed really happy.

  “Mom,” I sniffed and rubbed my eye with my wrist again.

  “What do you think?” She smiled.

  “It’s perfect, but when…when did you make it?”

  “This week.” She went on, probably since all I could do was gawk at her in disbelief. “I got to thinking that you should go to homecoming. So, I started making you a dress. Last night I told your father I thought you should be allowed to go. You didn’t deserve to go by the way you’ve acted this week, but I wondered how much of that was our fault, as well. We haven’t been all that great at communication these days.”

  “Mom, I don’t know what to say.” I fingered the dress remembering how Mom had done the same to her green prom dress. Now I knew what she’d been remembering.

  “You don’t have to say anything, Andrea. I’m your mother. I love you and I hope you have a good time tonight.” She smiled again, but when I didn’t return it she looked concerned. “You are still going, aren’t you?”

  I sighed and stepped to the other side of the room. “I don’t know. Luke doesn’t know I have permission to go.”

  “And why not?”

  I rotated around. “Because I haven’t told him.” I felt really stupid right then standing there as I fingered the best dress in the world and knowing that I’d let the best guy in the world slip through those same fingers.

  “You should call him. There’s still time.” Mom went back to tidying up her sewing area.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “All right, but I didn’t make you that dress so it just takes up space in your closet.”

  We shared a smile, and then I went back to my room.

  I hung the dress in front of my closet door and stared at it for a couple minutes. It sure would have been thrilling to show up at school wearing that dress with my arm intertwined with Luke’s.

  Seconds later, a car horn sounded outside my window. I hurried over to see Amy getting out of her mom’s car. What was she doing here? I thought I’d made it perfectly clear I didn’t want to see anyone tonight.

  I faced my bedroom door waiting for her to appear. The doorbell rang and either Mom or Dad let her in just before her footsteps pounded up the staircase.

  “You look horrible.”

  “Thanks, Am. What are you doing here? You have a date tonight.”

  “And so do you.”

  “No, I don’t.” I crossed my arms.

  “Yes, you do. With Luke.”

  I just shook my head. Why did I even try to argue with her? I mean this whole infatuation with Luke had been her doing from the beginning.

  “Andi, are you really not going to homecoming? You really won’t tell Luke how much you care for him? Really?”

  I stood my ground with my arms firmly crossed, but unfortunately my mouth started to quiver and my eyes turned moist once again.

  She sat down on my bed with her arms supporting her from behind as she glanced at the ceiling. “Let me get this straight: Luke asked you to the banquet, but you called it off because of your parents. Then your parents changed their minds. Luke comes to your recital, but you don’t tell him the change in your homecoming attendance status. Is that about right?”

  I gave a succinct nod and pressed my lips together to keep them still.

  Amy looked at me, and then widened her eyes as if to say “And why is that?” I mean her pupils looked huge!

  “I just thought considering the circumstances this would be better. Now I can’t hurt him anymore than I already have. We’re b
etter as friends.” I couldn’t face her a second longer and returned to the window and my bird watching activities.

  Amy hopped from the bed, grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at her. “You are such a liar, Andrea Jamison. I know you. I know that you were really starting to like Luke…like him a lot.”

  “You think I don’t know that.” I pushed her hand off my shoulder and moved to the other side of the room.

  “You’re afraid,” she accused. “You don’t want to even try because of what happened before. Your so-called incident. You have to get over that. It’s the whole reason I stepped up and tried to get you and Luke together in the first place. I love you, Andi, but grow a backbone and face the facts.”

  “And what facts are those?” Heat zoomed into my face.

  Amy didn’t seem concerned at my tightened tone and pointed expression that I’d directed right at her. In fact, she even laughed.

  “The fact that Luke is your ‘One.’ It scares you. I almost think you were happy when your parents put a ban on homecoming.” I started to disagree, but she waved my excuses away. “Yeah, yeah, I know you acted upset with them, but wasn’t there some relief, too?”

  I stared at her for a second. Could she be right? Was I so far gone in my ridiculous neuroses that I didn’t want to risk starting anything with Luke because he might break my heart? I mean, I had fought her over the idea when this whole thing started, especially with my whole Change-o-phobia.

  Then out of my mouth came an admission before I could stop it. “You’re right.” My tone revealed my instantaneous realization. “I’m a freak.” Now I sat on the bed and covered my head with my hands. I was a complete and utter freak, as if I must have run away from the circus sideshow. “Just call me the Bearded Lady.”

  Amy sat next to me. “Well, I sure hope not. Guys really hate it when they have to compete in the facial hair department.”

  I peeked at her and couldn’t help but smile. “What am I going to do?”

  She shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

  I thought about that for a minute. Could it be that Luke was my ‘One’ and my fear might have cost us a lifetime of happiness, or at least (let’s be realistic) a high school relationship’s worth?