His Heart's Desire

by Julianna Douglas

  Edna brushed a strand of Rebecca's hair away from her face and patted her hand. “That's all completely understandable.”

  “When I think about it the way you said, I realize that Ethan was just being Ethan. As long as I've known him, he's always been kind and generous. I know he lied to me, but I probably shouldn't have gotten so angry with him. I should have trusted him enough to let him explain.” She worried her bottom lip. “Do you think he'll forgive me?”

  Edna grinned broadly. “I'm sure he will, dear. Now, why don't you go change into something more comfortable and then sleep on it? I'm sure everything will look a lot better tomorrow, after you've had a good night's rest.”

  Rebecca nodded again and headed for her bedroom. After Edna cleaned up the first-aid mess and the broken glass, she went to the girl's room and knocked on the door.

  “Come in.”

  Edna entered to find Rebecca sitting on the bed, clutching a stuffed Christmas kitten. She recalled the young woman telling her it was a gift from Ethan, which made Edna smile. It looked like their talk already had her thinking of her young man in a more favorable light.

  Edna picked up Rebecca's clothes from the floor. “I'll take these clothes and the towels over to my place and put them to soak in cold water.”

  “You don't have to do that, Edna.”

  “It's no trouble. I'm sure you don't want them to stain, and you don't need anything else to worry about after the difficult evening you've had.”

  “Thank you. Not just for the clothes, but for taking care of my finger.” She held up the bandaged appendage. “And most of all for talking to me. It really helped.”

  Edna came to stand in front of Rebecca, placing a hand on her cheek. “You're welcome, dear. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  “I'll turn out the lights and lock the door on my way out.”

  When Edna reached Rebecca's front porch, she paused a moment to breathe deeply of the night air. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chill while gazing off in the direction Ethan had taken earlier. Her lips curved, and she was certain her eyes sparkled. There was no doubt in her mind that boy was madly in love with Rebecca. No man would do the things for her that he had if he wasn't. The poor girl was simply too blinded by the trauma of the past and that awful Lindsay's comments to see it right now, but Edna was pretty certain that Rebecca returned his affection.

  Those two were star-crossed lovers, just like she and her husband, Freddie, had been. She knew it in her heart. Now, if she could only get them talking again and find a way to get them to admit it to themselves and to each other, life would be absolutely perfect.

  Chapter 11

  With his chin in hand and his elbow propped on the arm of the chair, Ethan sat staring into the crackling flames of his bedroom's fireplace. This evening had been a total nightmare. Was there no end to the terrible things Becca had endured in her life? More than anything, he wanted to go pound that Trent guy into a pulp for treating Caroline the way he had and for threatening Becca. The bastard deserved to be locked up.

  Ethan's heart ached as he thought of Becca, broken, sobbing, and bleeding on her kitchen floor. All he'd wanted–all he wanted still–was to hold her in his arms and make it all better, like he had the night that son of a bitch, Jay, had used her. What hurt him more than anything was the knowledge that he was the one who'd caused her pain this time. If he'd had any idea what Becca had been through, he never would have pushed her to accept his money, never would have been so secretive about it. He would have tried harder to sweet-talk her into it instead.

  Now he might have lost the most important person in his life because of money. He'd give away every dime he had and live the life of a pauper to see Becca happy again, and for things to go back to the way they were between them.

  He'd never meant to hurt her. He'd only thought she was being stubborn and prideful. Even if that had been the case, he now realized he hadn't shown enough understanding of her situation. His parents may have taught him and his brother and sister to view everyone as equals, but he'd still been born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. He'd never wanted for anything a day in his life. If he needed or wanted it, he simply bought it. That certainly hadn't been the case for Becca. Her mother had scraped to get by on her meager wages, and now Becca was doing the same.

  Ethan couldn't live with the thought of someone he loved struggling when he had the means to help, but in doing so, he'd taken away Becca's dignity and self-respect. Making a disgusted sound, he slapped his hand down hard on the arm of the chair. There had to be something he could do to restore Becca's confidence in him and herself and reassure her of his honorable intentions.

  With a deep sigh, he leaned forward. His elbows resting on his knees, he massaged his temples as he tried to think of a solution.

  Buddy sat up from where he'd been laying at his master's feet. Placing his head in Ethan's lap, the dog looked up at him with doleful eyes.

  “You look how I feel, Bud,” Ethan told the canine while stroking the silky fur of his head. “What would you do if the woman you loved didn't want you around anymore?”

  The dog's forehead rose and his ears quirked up, but his only response was a yawn.

  Ethan laughed. “Am I boring you with my troubles?”

  Still uncertain what to do, Ethan rose and prepared for bed. As he slipped beneath the covers, he vividly recalled sleeping here with Becca in his arms. He grabbed the extra pillow and hugged it tightly, but it was a poor substitute for the real thing.

  Half an hour later, sleep still eluded him. Flopping onto his back, he stared up at the dark ceiling. After turning the problem over in his mind about a dozen times, he finally lit upon a solution, one that had been staring him in the face all along.

  Becca was an independent woman who wanted to feel self-sufficient. Because of her past experience, being given money also made her uncomfortable. So what if he made it seem like he wasn't giving it to her after all?

  First thing tomorrow, he'd have his attorney draw up a repayment contract for the sponsorship, making it more like a loan. However, unlike most loans, it would be interest free with very manageable monthly payments that wouldn't take effect until two years after her graduation. That should give her plenty of time to start practicing, although he'd make sure there were provisions made in the unlikely event she didn't.

  Of course, he hoped to marry her long before that if she was able to return his love. As soon as this merger was finished, he'd finally reveal his feelings for her and pour on every ounce of charm he possessed in hopes of accomplishing that goal. With his mind finally at ease, Ethan smiled and drifted into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of a future with Becca as his wife.

  * * * * *

  The next evening, Becca was surprised once again by a knock at her door. She answered it to find Ethan on the other side.

  “Hi, Becca,” he greeted her solemnly.

  “Hi,” she answered back softly. Feeling embarrassed by her outburst the night before, she couldn't quite look him in the eye.

  “Look, I know you're probably still upset with me, but I was wondering if I could talk to you. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. All I ask is that you hear me out.”

  She nodded. “Come in.”

  She stepped back to allow him to enter.

  Once they were comfortably seated on her sofa, Ethan turned to her. Reaching out, he took her hand in his, then hesitated as though he wasn't certain she would welcome his touch. If she was honest with herself, it felt really good. After she'd calmed down last night, she'd worried he would never speak to her again after the terrible things she'd said, so this was a nice start toward repairing the damage to their friendship.

  Finally, he spoke. “Becca, I did a lot of thinking after I got home last night. I realized that I went about all this the wrong way, and for that, I'm sorry. When you wouldn't accept my help, I thought you were just being stubborn, but now that I know the t
ruth I understand why you were so uncomfortable with the idea.” He'd been staring at their clasped hands, but now, he raised his eyes to hers.

  A sense of dread assailed her at the implication in his words. “What do you mean?”

  “I have a confession to make. I didn't leave last night when you told me to. I was too worried about you. After I got Edna to come help you, I stayed in here for a while, out of sight. I only did it because I had to know you were OK. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard a conversation that I think you meant to be private.”

  “Oh God!” she gasped as hot shame washed over her. She turned her head away and tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but he held onto it tightly.

  “Becca, none of that was your fault. You were only a girl at the time.”

  Ethan rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. His kind words and tender caress reminded her of the wonderful man he was and helped her to relax. Feeling guilty about ever thinking the worst of him, she bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

  “I hope you don't truly think I could be like that bastard. I'd never take advantage of you like that.”

  Slowly, she turned her head back toward him, but she still couldn't meet his gaze. She answered in barely a whisper, “I know.”

  “Thank God,” he breathed. “I don't think I could have stood it knowing you thought so little of me. Why didn't you tell me?” he added gently.

  She shrugged. “I don't know. I had already been through so much, I guess I just didn't want to open another old wound. I probably should have, huh?”

  Becca risked a peek at his face and found an empathetic expression there.

  “I would have understood,” he said. “I do understand. I should have listened to you, and I'm so very sorry I didn't. But I'm listening now, and that's why I brought something that I hope will ease any lingering doubts you might have.”

  He finally released her hand, withdrew an envelope from the inside pocket of his suit jacket, and handed it to her.

  “What's this?” she asked.

  “Look and see.”

  Her hands trembling slightly, she removed the documents from the envelope, opened them, and skimmed their contents. They contained a lot of legal jargon she didn't understand, but she comprehended enough to figure out what they were. “You're turning the sponsorship into a private loan?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “A lot of people in your life have taken away your choices, and that's undermined your sense of independence. I realize now that I was doing the same thing. This repayment contract is my way of giving that back to you. Feel free to have an attorney look it over for you. In fact, I recommend it, even though I can assure you that every part of it is in your favor. The payments won't start until two years after your graduation, and there are plenty of provisions in the event of financial hardship.”

  Becca's heart swelled, and tears misted her eyes. He really did understand. How could she have ever doubted him? “Thank you, Ethan. This means a lot to me.”

  “You're welcome. I want you to know that I truly had only the best of intentions for everything I did, but I understand that I still hurt you. Again, I'm sorry, and I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  Without hesitation, she answered, “I do. And I'm sorry too. I feel awful for how I treated you last night. I was really tired and upset and confused by what happened to my mom, but all that's no excuse for thinking so badly of you. You've just proven to me that you're nothing like that, and that I can still trust you. Forgive me?”

  “Of course.” Ethan grinned. “Does that mean I have my best friend back?”

  She returned his smile. “Yes.”

  In a heartbeat, he clasped her face in his hands and planted a kiss on her lips. Her eyes went wide.

  He pulled back quickly and looked away sheepishly, clearing his throat. “Sorry. When I left here last night, I thought I'd lost you forever. I guess I got a little carried away by the excitement of having things back to normal between us.”

  She smiled at him wistfully. “It's all right. I'm happy too.”

  Truth be told, her lips still burned from the intimate contact. Even if he'd only kissed her in a moment of elation, she'd remember it forever.

  Chapter 12

  Three months later, Becca was readying herself for a party. The spring temperatures had been unseasonably warm, and Ethan's parents had decided to throw an impromptu company pool party at their house one Friday night. He had asked her to be his plus-one, and she had gladly accepted. She'd eagerly made arrangements to trade shifts with a co-worker so she would have the night off.

  Her heart soared at the knowledge that Ethan was taking her to the party and not that bitch, Lindsay. She still had no idea what was going on between them, if anything, other than business. Perhaps in her overwrought state, she'd only allowed her imagination to get the best of her. Ever since they'd made up over the sponsorship debacle, Ethan had been nothing but sweet and attentive toward her even though she knew he was still working on the merger negotiations. Thankfully, Lindsay hadn't returned to Milano's while she was waitressing there.

  Becca dressed in a floral-print sundress and strappy white high-heeled sandals. She'd made a little extra in tips the weekend before, and even splurged on sexy new underclothes. Even if Ethan couldn't see them, they made her feel prettier. She could always fantasize that the evening would end with him getting a glimpse of them.

  After carefully winding up her hair and securing it in a French knot, she sighed. Ever since the night they'd made up, that kiss he'd given her had been seared into her memory. She closed her eyes for a moment and recalled what it had felt like to have his lips on hers. She desperately wanted to feel that again, but the brevity of the kiss and Ethan's apparent embarrassment over his exuberance led her to believe that it was nothing more than a knee-jerk reaction from him. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath as she started styling the corkscrew curls at her temples.

  The only reason Becca hadn't told him she loved him yet was the intense pain she'd felt when she thought she'd lost him forever. Having tasted that bitterness, she couldn't bring herself to do anything that might jeopardize their friendship again, even if it meant keeping her feelings to herself.

  She smiled bravely at herself in the mirror before starting on her makeup. It wouldn't stop her from trying to make herself look as nice as possible in the hope that he'd take notice of her. After completing her makeup application, she added a small pair of gold filigree earrings as the finishing touch just as a knock sounded at her door. Becca took one last look at herself in the mirror, smoothed a stray hair back into place, and hurried to answer it.

  Ethan stood on the other side, looking handsome, as always, in his khaki trousers and polo shirt. He seemed slightly taken aback at the sight of her, but quickly recovered. “Wow, you look great!”

  “Thanks,” she replied, shyly looking down at her toes and then glancing back up at him from beneath her lashes.

  “So are you ready to go?”

  She nodded. “Let me get my purse.”

  Becca grabbed her purse from the table near the door, locked up, and joined Ethan outside. As they were about to head down the sidewalk to the parking lot, they were startled by a voice from behind them.

  “So where are you two going tonight looking so dapper? I thought you always stayed in on Fridays.”

  Becca swung around to greet her elderly neighbor with a smile. “Hi, Edna. I haven't seen you all week.”

  The old woman waved her hand dismissively. “I went down to Tucson for a few days to spend time with my son and his family. I barely got back this morning.”

  “Did you have a good time?”

  “I had a wonderful time, dear. So where are you headed off to?”

  “Ethan invited me to the company barbecue at his parents' house out in Scottsdale. I suppose we should probably be going. I wouldn't want to make us late.”

  “Oh, don't let me keep you. I'm just out for my
evening stroll. You kids go on and enjoy yourselves,” she urged while making motions with her hand to shoo them off.

  Becca laughed at her friend. “We will,” she said as she turned back to Ethan. “Bye, Edna,” she called as they both waved over their shoulders.

  When they got to the parking lot, Becca was stunned to see an elegant white limousine waiting by the curb. “Ethan, I thought you were driving!”

  He shrugged. “I decided this would be more fun.”

  “Oh my gosh,” she gasped with delight. “I've never been in a limo before.”

  “Really?” he asked with a surprised look. “Not even for prom?”

  She shook her head ruefully.

  “Well then, come, m'lady. Your chariot awaits,” he replied with a smile and a flourish of his arm. With his hand lightly resting at the small of her back, he guided her to the car and opened the door.

  Becca slid inside. Her mouth formed an O as she took in the richly appointed interior of the car. The tan leather seats felt buttery soft under her fingertips. A mahogany wet bar lined one wall of the vehicle, a television dropped down from the ceiling, and God only knew what other amenities were hiding behind all the panels. Through the sunroof, she could see the gray fingers of twilight fading from the evening sky as the last rays of the sun slipped below the horizon.

  “Wow, I feel like Cinderella going to the ball,” she enthused.

  Ethan chuckled softly. “I thought you might like it.”

  Becca smiled shyly. “Seems you know me well.”

  “Of course I do,” he answered with an air of certainty.

  The seriousness of his expression drew her gaze fully toward him. For a moment she was lost in his eyes, and in that instant, Becca thought she saw something mirrored there that she hadn't seen before. She imagined him leaning forward and kissing her tenderly.