Their Baby Bond

by Karen Rose Smith

  As Jake took the towel she’d hung over the side of the crib and laid it on the bed, Tori saw the nerve in his jaw work. She was glad her hands had something to do. She was glad her eyes had someplace to go other than to Jake’s. Why was Jake really here? Because their attraction was tugging at him as it was at her?

  While she dried Andy, she tried to steady her pulse. “The bathinette probably would have fit in my trunk. You didn’t have to bring it. Nina could have called me.”

  “I thought it would be easier for me to lug it in here than for you to juggle the baby and a bathinette.”

  Covering Andy with the towel, her gaze did meet Jake’s at that. “Is that really why you’re here, Jake?”

  “Nina and I were concerned about you.”

  “You and Nina?”

  He looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Sure. You yourself admitted that you’ve never taken care of a baby.”

  “Nina called last night and I filled her in on everything I’ve been doing.”

  “She said you sounded tired.”

  “I think that’s an expected condition of new mothers.”

  Finally Jake confessed, “Bringing the bathinette seemed like a good excuse to check on you.”

  Last week Jake had agreed they were becoming friends. Were they becoming more? Did she want more?

  When the doorbell rang, it startled them both.

  Jake checked his watch. “It’s getting late for visitors.”

  “You’re here.”

  With an arch of his brows, he asked, “Do you want me to answer it while you finish getting Andy ready for bed?”

  She lifted her son from the crib and grabbed a diaper. “Yes, thanks.”

  Babies needed constant and immediate attention, and Jake seemed to be aware of that. He’d make a wonderful father. Yet he’d told her that would never happen. She knew part of the reason, but was sure there was more. In spite of caution signals going off, she wanted to know the whole story.

  When Jake returned to the room, he was carrying a cardboard box. “It was your neighbor. She said this package came this morning and she had to sign for it.”

  “FedEx must have tried to deliver it when I went to the store earlier.”

  “So Andy had his first outing.”

  She smiled. “I found out it was a little hard juggling a baby and groceries. I just bought the minimum to keep me going. Loretta offered to sit with him this weekend so I could stock up.”

  “You do have to get out, Tori.”

  “I know. But I hate to leave him. I might take him along to church with me on Sunday. If he fusses, I can always duck out.”

  After a few beats of silence, Jake stepped closer to her. “You know I said I’d like to get to know Charlie better?”

  She nodded, putting the diaper into the crib and gently laying Andy on it.

  “How about on Friday night you and me and Nina and Charlie go to that club that just opened—the Southwestern Grille?”

  She’d heard of it. A live band played every weekend. Would Jake ask her to dance? She remembered too well the feel of his arms around her. “I don’t want to leave Andy for a long time.”

  “Just a couple of hours. We could leave around nine, be back by eleven.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “You have a cell phone, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “You can call Loretta every half hour. Most likely, he’ll sleep the whole time we’re gone.”

  Jake might be right about that. “So is this a date?” she asked with a touch of humor, yet with the need to know.

  “No. I mean…” He seemed off balance, which was unusual for Jake Galeno.

  “It’s okay, Jake. I get it. It’s your chance to interview Charlie on a casual basis. I’m just along for window dressing.”

  He shook his head in chagrin. “I wouldn’t ask just anybody.”

  That made her laugh.

  After tucking Andy into a terry sleeper, she looked at the box Jake had brought in. “It’s from Mom!”

  Andy was starting to squirm now, and he let out a soft cry.

  “I’d better feed him before I open the box. Maybe he’ll fall asleep.”

  A short time later, Jake sat on the sofa watching Tori feed her baby boy. She’d put on a CD of instrumental lullabies while she sat by the fireplace in an antique wooden rocker. All her attention was focused on her son.

  Jake remembered watching his mother feed Nina, and he’d often seen Nina feeding the twins. But the sight of Tori holding a bottle for her son did something to him. She was dressed in pale-pink knit slacks with a pink-and-white striped top that delineated her breasts and hugged her slim waist. It was easy to see that she already adored Andy. The strength of the sensations rocking Jake as he watched her unnerved him.

  Pushing himself up from the sofa, he went over to a drop-leaf table by the window and examined the baby gifts she’d received.

  There was a dish painted with Winnie-the-Pooh characters, along with a cup that wouldn’t spill, a white blanket with satin edging, a blue snowsuit and an angel night-light. He picked up a music box that looked to be hand-carved and-painted. Children danced in a ring.

  “I have to write thank-you notes for those,” she said. “I’m not putting them away until I get to it.”

  He lifted the music box a little higher. “Whoever gave you this knows fine workmanship. It’s superbly crafted.”

  After a creak of the rocker and a moment of hesitation, she finally revealed, “Peter gave it to me.”

  Jake’s eyes went to hers. She’d said it matter-of-factly, as if Peter Emerson was no different than any other friend. But the music box was expensive, and Jake wondered about the sentiment behind the gift. He abruptly set it on the table. “He’s still around?”

  “For a short while. His show is scheduled for November third. He’ll be back and forth a few times before that. I’m letting Loretta handle most of the details. At first he wasn’t comfortable with that, but now I think he sees that she’s as competent as I am.”

  “What kind of details are there to handle?”

  Tori shifted Andy to her shoulder to burp him, slowly rubbing his back. “The event is catered, so there’s the menu to be decided on, the type of wine to be served. He had to choose a style for the brochure and the invitations, new patrons he wanted to add to his mailing list. Then there are the actual paintings themselves—making sure each is framed properly in the style and color he wants, choosing the best positioning for his work in the gallery. Some artists, like Renée Ludwig—she’s a sculptor who’s having a show at the gallery the week before Thanksgiving—leave all the details up to me. But Peter isn’t like Renée. He prefers to be more involved.”

  At Andy’s burp, Tori smiled, settled him once more in the crook of her arm and offered him the bottle again. “I love the gallery work, but this little guy is going to be my main focus.”

  This time Andy didn’t latch on to the nipple quite as vigorously, and his eyes fluttered closed as he sucked.

  “Have you heard from Barbara?” Jake asked.

  Tori’s expression was a mixture of relief and concern. “No, I haven’t. I might not until she signs the final papers. I’d like to know how she’s doing, but I don’t want to intrude, either. If she’s truly trying to get her life back to normal, she might not want to be reminded she had a baby.”

  “Did you meet her mother?”

  “She was there when we signed the guardianship papers. In my mind I’d created this picture of a cold, unfeeling woman. But she wasn’t like that. She loves her daughter and she wants what’s best for her. She’s just absolutely sure that isn’t raising a child.”

  For a few moments they both remembered the night Andy was born. Abruptly Jake nodded to the baby. “I think he’s out.”

  Whether or not they wanted it, another bond had been formed between her and Jake at Andy’s birth. “Sometimes I think he’s asleep and lay him in his crib. Then a few minutes later he starts
crying again. I’ll put him in the crib now and we’ll see what happens.”

  Jake followed Tori to her bedroom. When he passed Andy’s room, he noticed once more the care with which Tori had decorated it. But apparently Andy was still sleeping in Nina’s crib in Tori’s room. As he lounged in the doorway, she settled the baby on his back under the mobile and started the music box.

  Jake heard her say to Andy, “You’re the best little boy in the whole world, and I love you from here to the moon.”

  Again Jake felt an ache in his chest, a tightening of the emotions that lodged in his throat. Tori was going to be a terrific mother. Jake had no doubt about it.

  Out in the hallway she asked, “Would you like something to drink? Wine? Coffee? Soda?”

  “Coffee sounds good.”

  “I made a batch of brownies for the friends who stopped in. Can I tempt you?”

  She certainly could. And did. Maybe the brownies could help him concentrate and satisfy one of his acceptable appetites. “Brownies sound great.”

  As Tori put the coffee on, Jake brought her mother’s package into the kitchen and set it on the table.

  After Tori put two large brownies on a dessert plate, she asked, “How do you take your coffee?”

  “Black.”

  The table in her dining area was round. He sat across from her and watched as she used scissors to cut the tape on the box and then opened it to find a wrapped present with a blue satin bow. She looked like a kid at Christmas. After she carefully slipped off the ribbon, she tore open the paper.

  When she lifted the lid, her eyes misted over. “Mom always figures out the perfect gift.”

  There were two items in the package. Tori took out the first so Jake could see. It was a small silver box. On the top it read My First Tooth.

  Jake laughed. “Only a mom would think of something like this.”

  Next Tori lifted out a baby book that had lion cubs, young harp seals, fawns and a parade of ducks playing around the edges of the cover. In the middle was a space for a picture of Andy.

  As Tori flipped through the book, she showed Jake a page every now and then. There was a journal page, and on the opposite side, room for pictures of the first smile, the first tooth, the first step.

  Following that, she found a section for the christening, as well as the family tree.

  Tori sat and stared at that tree for a long while. “I wonder when I should tell him he’s adopted.”

  “That depends on whether Barbara’s in his life or not. How are you going to handle that?”

  “I’m not sure yet. But I do know I’m always going to tell him the truth. When my father left, I thought I’d done something wrong. I saw Mom crying and I thought I was to blame. I was almost ten when I saw her looking at the newspaper with an odd expression on her face. When I asked what was wrong, she just said that my dad had gotten married again. That’s when I asked her what I had done to make him leave. She gave me a big hug and told me it was her fault he left, not mine. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted.”

  “Did you blame your mom for your dad leaving?”

  “No. As I got older and he skipped from one woman to the next, I realized he was the one with the problem. But I don’t think Mom ever accepted that. She always felt she was lacking in some way. But now…” She stopped.

  “Is something different now?”

  “She’s coming to visit in a few weeks, and she’s bringing a man with her. I think she’s serious about him.”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “I am. She’s never dated. I think she’s always been afraid to love again.”

  Like mother like daughter? he wondered, understanding exactly how Tori’s background had affected her—the same way his had affected him.

  “After your accident did you see specialists about having kids? They can work wonders now.”

  “They can’t work wonders when nothing’s there, Jake. The doctors had to remove my ovaries and uterus. Dave left because there was no hope of ever having a natural child with me.”

  The devastation she must have felt about it was well hidden, but still there. He couldn’t begin to imagine how a woman would feel if her child-bearing ability was torn away from her…how she must have hated her world, her life, the other driver. No wonder she’d received an insurance settlement large enough to start up a gallery. “I don’t know what to say, Tori. I thought there might be some…hope.”

  She studied him for a few moments, the vulnerability in her eyes changing to guardedness. “There is hope. Andy. And if in a couple of years I want more children, I’ll adopt again.”

  She turned the page in the baby book and then said almost defiantly, “Andy is going to be my child. I carried him in my heart just as Barbara carried him in her body. He’ll never doubt for a moment that I’m his mom, and I’ll love him more than anyone else in this world ever will.”

  He’d heard of new mothers not bonding with their babies. Tori had already bonded with this infant. It was obvious in the way she handled him, talked to him, thought about him.

  She glanced at his coffee mug. “Would you like a refill?”

  Her voice didn’t carry the warmth it had before, and he wondered what had just happened. Maybe she wanted to get a few good hours of sleep while Andy slept. Maybe she didn’t understand his visit or his need to check on her any more than he did. Maybe she was asking him if he wanted to stay or leave.

  “No refill.” He pushed to his feet. Suddenly he knew if he didn’t mention Friday night again and firm up plans with her, she wouldn’t go to the club with him.

  As she walked him into the living room, he asked, “Nine o’clock on Friday all right?”

  “I don’t know, Jake.”

  “It’s two hours, Tori. It’ll do you good. And it’ll help me see Charlie and Nina as a couple, away from the kids and Mom.”

  “What do you have against him?”

  “He’s forty and never been married. I want to know the reason for that.”

  “You’re thirty-four and never been married.”

  “Exactly. I have reasons. I’m sure he does, too. If he doesn’t, then maybe he’s the love-’em-and-leave-’em type. Nina doesn’t need that kind of heartache.”

  “She’s a grown woman.”

  “She’s my sister.”

  Tori’s voice softened. “All right. I’ll come along under one condition.”

  “What’s that?” he asked warily.

  “I’m going to call home at least every half hour.”

  “Granted.”

  “And you have to promise that you’ll go to that club with a mind-set of building a friendship with Charlie, not as an interrogator.”

  “You’re tough,” he said with a grin.

  “You’re not the only one who knows how to negotiate.”

  He could tell she’d used the word on purpose. To see if he commented on it? To see if it bothered him? It wasn’t the word that bothered him. It was his poor judgment in thinking Marion had been ready for the kind of negotiation they’d needed that day.

  To Tori he said simply, “I’ll remember that.” In spite of himself, he was looking forward to Friday night.

  Jake was repairing the front coyote fence at a work site the following morning when a navy sedan pulled up to the curb. A few moments later a tall, silver-haired man emerged from the car and approached. Jake recognized him instantly. Don Garcia wasn’t in uniform now. Still, the chief of police of the Santa Fe Police Department had an authoritative stature in or out of the official duds. For a moment he wondered how the chief knew where to find him. Then he remembered he’d outlined his upcoming work schedule to Phil.

  The chief extended his hand. “Good to see you, Galeno. We’ve met at a few conferences.”

  Exasperated that Phil had apparently considered his return to Santa Fe food for discussion, Jake shook the chief’s hand. “Chief. What can I do for you?”

  “I won’t interrupt your work for long. But I thought
there might be something I can do for you. Trujillo told me you’re at loose ends.”

  Jake dropped the handsaw against the fence and tamped down his anger. Phil didn’t know how to keep his nose where it belonged. “Not exactly at loose ends. Just in a different line of work.”

  “Running some kind of business doing repairs and laying ceramic tile?” The chief’s voice said that was hardly the caliber of the work Jake had been doing before.

  “That’s right, Chief. I give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. At the end of the day I load up my truck and go home. There’s nothing on my mind except what’s for supper.”

  “Is this going to last long?” the chief asked.

  “You mean my business?”

  “No. The attitude that you don’t care about the world in general.”

  Jake was silent.

  “I don’t know you well, Galeno. We’ve only met a few times. But I’ve always been impressed with you. More important, I’ve been impressed with your record. Have you kept count of how many lives you’ve saved?”

  “I’ve counted the ones I’ve lost.”

  “I don’t doubt that you have. I know what happened in Albuquerque.”

  It seemed everyone in law enforcement did. Word carried from one department to the next. “Then maybe you’ll understand why I like to go home at the end of the day with nothing more on my mind than ordering a pizza for supper.”

  The chief’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “I don’t believe it for a minute. I might not know you, but I know men like you. I’ve also known men who have been through what you’ve been through and haven’t faced it.”

  “With due respect, Chief, I face it every day, every waking moment.”

  The man’s gray eyes said he had the knowledge of experience. “You’re not facing it. You’re reliving it. That won’t do you or anyone else any good. Even if you made a mistake, and from the reports I’ve received I don’t believe you did, you won’t move past this until you look at what happened, see it for what it was and know you did your best. That’s all any of us can do.”

  “If my best isn’t good enough, then I should stay out of police work.”

  “If you don’t get past this, Galeno, nothing in your life is going to make sense. Believe me. I’ve seen it happen to too many men. You think you’re moving on because you’re keeping a roof over your head and food on the table. But as long as you’re still waking up in the middle of the night blaming yourself, not one damn thing about your life is going to work any length of time.”