by Cheri Marie
“Ari....”
“Ash please don’t, I will tell him when I’m ready.”
She takes my hands in hers again, “okay,” she says.
Ashlan and Tristan join me on the floor, sitting on either side of me. We sit there for hours in silence but I’m thankful for them being with me. Once I’ve collected my thoughts I stand and they stand with me.
“How are you feeling?” Ashlan asks.
“I’m okay.”
“Is there anything you need me to do boss?” asks Tristan.
“No, not at the moment Tristan, thank you.”
“Yes ma’am, just let me know if you need anything at all.”
“Thank you Tristan.” She gives me a small smile and squeezes my hand reassuringly.
“I think I’m going to go,” I say to the both of them. “Tristan do you mind locking up?”
“No, I don’t mind at all. You go, don’t worry about anything here.”
“Thank you again Tristan, I appreciate you so much.” Her cheeks blush and she smiles sweetly at me.
“Thank you Arianna.”
Walking into my office, I grab my phone, coat and purse heading out to my car. Ashlan follows along behind me.
“Do you want me to drive you?”
“No I’ll be okay, just follow me home okay?”
“Okay,” she says.
We climb into our cars and set off in the direction of the house. Landon isn’t home yet when we arrive and I sigh in relief, I can’t face him yet. We head inside; I lay all my stuff on the counter and head into my library, my quiet place. Ashlan follows me like my shadow but right now I don’t mind. If there was ever a time when I really needed my best friend, right now would be that time. I sit down and pull my knees up against my chest. Ashlan sits next to me, puts her arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder.
“When are you going to tell Landon?” she asks.
“I think I’m going to wait a little while, just until I can get in to see a doctor and everything.”
“That sounds reasonable. Do you want me to come with you to the doctor?”
“Yes please, I don’t want to go alone.”
“Okay,” she says as she rubs my back. I stretch out next to her and lay my head on her lap. Right now, I have never been more grateful for Ashlan than I am in this moment. Slowly I drift off to sleep.
This year has started out great! There is nothing that can ruin my good mood. Work has been crazy busy. The hospital received some grant money so we are in the middle of doing major upgrades. I’m excited for all the new things we will be able to offer. I haven’t heard from Arianna all day, I assume she’s as busy as I am.
I finish up at the hospital and head home. When I get there both Ashlan and Arianna are home. Heading inside I look for Arianna but I can’t find her anywhere. Panic spikes through me, where the hell is she? I call out for her once, twice. Finally I hear a door click behind me and I spin around. Ashlan just came out of the room next to Arianna’s home office, the library, I forgot about that room.
“Where’s Ari?” I ask.
“She’s sleeping in the library,” she says. I look at her puzzled.
“Is she okay?”
“Yea she’s fine. We were hanging out reading and talking when she dozed off. She had a busy day at work.”
“Oh okay. I’ll let her sleep and get dinner started.”
“Okay sounds great,” Ashlan says as she slips quietly back into the library.
I grab the pans I need and start cooking. I decide to make Chicken Parmesan for everyone. Once everything is ready I walk over to the library door and lightly knock before opening it. Arianna’s still sleeping and Ashlan is reading.
“Dinner’s ready,” I say to Ashlan, she starts to wake Arianna but I tell her to go eat, that I will wake her. She’s hesitant but leaves the room. For a second I wonder what that’s all about but I brush it off. I brush the hair behind Arianna’s ear that has fallen into her beautiful face and lightly kiss her cheek.
“Arianna, wake up baby, dinner is ready.” She slowly opens her eyes, squinting at the light of the room.
“Hey sleeping beauty, are you hungry?” she nods her head yes and sits up. She stretches, and then stands and I pull her into my arms. I kiss her, she kisses me back but breaks away quickly.
“Everything okay baby?”
“Yes, everything’s fine, just exhausted from everything going on at work.”
“Okay, let’s get you fed and then we can shower and go to bed.”
“Okay,” she says smiling at me but it doesn’t touch her eyes. I can tell something is weighing on her mind but I don’t want to question her about it right now, she’s under enough stress at the moment.
We head out into the kitchen and sit at the table with Ashlan. I serve up a plate for Arianna and hand it to her, she thanks me and I sit down next to her. Dinner is awkwardly silent. When we finish I take the dishes into the kitchen and clean up.
“I’m really tired baby, I’m going to go up and shower now okay?” Arianna says as she walks into the kitchen.
“Of course baby, that’s fine.”
She heads upstairs while I finish cleaning up. When I walk into the room she’s already showered and lying in bed. She’s curled into herself on her side of the bed. I shower quickly, throwing on some boxer briefs I climb in behind her pulling her to me. She sighs sleepily, grabbing my hand she pulls my arm around her. I kiss her shoulder and drift off to sleep.
The next morning I call Tristan and tell her I won’t be in, she understands and gets to work to reschedule my meetings. Opening up the search engine on my phone I type in Obstetrics and Gynecology Doctors. A list comes up and I scroll through reading the reviews for each doctor. I pick the one that sounds the best to me and dial the number. The secretary at the desk answers, her voice is sweet and soothing.
“Dr. Moore’s office, how can I help you?”
“Hi, my name is Arianna Taylor. I want to make an appointment to be seen by the doctor.”
“Okay, no problem. What is the reason you want to be seen?”
“I-I’m pregnant.”
“Oh okay, congratulations, let me see when I have an appointment available.”
“Okay, thank you,” I wait on the line for a few minutes before she’s back.
“Miss Taylor, I have an appointment available this afternoon at three. Would that be okay for you?”
“Yes, that would be great thank you.”
“Okay Miss Taylor, we’ll see you at three this afternoon.”
“Thanks again,” I say and hang up.
Pulling up my contacts I click on Ashlan.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Ashlan answers.
“Yea Ash everything is fine. I was just calling to tell you my first appointment is at three this afternoon, can you still make it?”
“Absolutely, I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Thank you!”
“Of course Ari, you’re like my sister, I’d do anything for you.”
I feel the tears threatening but I choke them back.
“Do you want me to pick you up from your job?” I ask her.
“Sure that’s fine.”
“Okay Ash, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye Ari,” she says, then hangs up.
Time drags and I anxiously wait for two o’clock so I can head out to get Ashlan. I call and check in with Tristan; she assures me everything is fine and that she has rescheduled all my meetings. This girl has seriously saved my life time and time again. I’m going to have to do something special for her. Finally it’s two in the afternoon. I grab my purse and head out the door. When I pull up outside of Ashlan’s job she’s anxiously waiting for me outside. She climbs in and we head off to the doctor’s office.
We arrive and I check in, suddenly overwhelmed with everything again. Taking a seat I fill out all the paperwork that was given to me. About ten minutes later my name is called. Ashlan and I stand at the same time and she foll
ows me to the back. The nurse takes my vitals then hands me a paper sheet and instructs me to undress from the waist down. I do as I’m told and take a seat on the exam table. A short time later, Dr. Moore enters the room. She’s average height with blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe in her forties. She smiles as she enters the room.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Moore,” she extends her hand for me to shake it.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Arianna Taylor and this is my sister Ashlan,” I say as I shake her hand. Ashlan’s face lights up at my introduction. Dr. Moore shakes Ashlan’s hand and then takes a seat.
“So you’re pregnant huh?”
“I think so, I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive.”
“Okay, well I’m going to have you lay back, put your feet in the stirrups and just relax.” Easier said than done I think to myself, as I lay back on the table. I watch as she pulls the big machine with a monitor that looks like a small TV or computer screen close to her. She picks up a wand type thing and puts something that resembles a condom on it. She slides up between my feet.
“Okay, I just need you to relax,” she says while holding up the wand thing. “This is for me to do an internal ultrasound. It will confirm whether you're pregnant or not, and how far along you are.”
“Okay,” I lay back and try to relax as much as possible. Ashlan holds my hand squeezing it reassuringly as we watch a gritty display of the inside of my uterus appear on the screen. I watch in amazement as a little blip resembling a peanut appears on the screen.
“Yes, you are definitely pregnant. I would say about six weeks along.”
I don’t say anything I just stare at the screen. I unconsciously reach down and caress my tummy. That little peanut is a person growing inside me. My heart fills and tears spring to my eyes. Dr. Moore clicks a couple buttons and a picture of my little peanut prints out.
“Congratulations!” she says, as she hands the picture to me.
“Thank you,” I choke out through the tears.
“You’re welcome. So we’re all finished here for today. I’m going to have my nurse schedule you an appointment for a month from now, until then here are some prenatal vitamins. Make sure you take one a day.”
“Okay, I will,” I take the bottle from her hand. She excuses herself so I can dress and then we head out to the checkout desk. The nurse hands me the appointment card and we leave.
I take a deep breath, “I think I’m going to tell Landon today.”
“Really? Do you want me to be there with you when you tell him?”
“No, I think I should tell him alone.”
“Okay. If you need me all you have to do is call.”
“Okay.”
I drop Ashlan back off at her job and call Landon.
“Hey my angel,” he says when he answers.
“Hey, are you home?”
“Yea I’m here. Where are you?”
“I’m on my way home now.”
“’Okay baby, see you soon,” he says and hangs up.
I take a deep breath, pulling out of the parking lot of Ashlan’s job I head home. Landon’s in the kitchen when I get there, I walk in and sit at the breakfast bar.
“Hey sweetheart, everything okay?”
“Yea I think so,” I say to him, swallowing the lump in my throat, it’s now or never.
“Are you sure? You look pale.”
“Yea, I, uh I need to tell you something”
“What is it baby?” he comes around the counter, sitting next to me and he takes my hands in his.
“I… uhh… I don’t know how to say this.”
“Just tell me. You’re scaring me…” his eyes are frantically searching mine.
I close my eyes tight, “I’m pregnant,” I say. It barely comes out as a whisper.
“What?” he says as if he didn’t hear me correctly.
“I’m pregnant Landon.” I open my eyes to look at Landon; he’s like a statue staring back at me. His expression changes rapidly as he processes the news. Suddenly he stands.
“I have to go,” he says. He kisses me quickly, but it’s disconnected.
He grabs his keys and he’s gone. I’m not sure how long I sit there staring at the door before it registers that he just walked out on me. Before I know it, the tears are flowing and I’m rocking, curled into myself. This isn’t happening. He didn’t just walk out on me. I wasn’t sure how he’d take it but I didn’t think it would be like this.
The door bursts open and Ashlan is at my side. She wraps her arms around me and I sob into her shoulder.
“Oh honey. I’m so sorry. I saw Landon take off out of here like a bat out of hell, what happened?”
“He… He just… walked... out,” I choke out between sobs. I hear a growl come from her chest and she mumbles something under her breath.
“It’ll be okay Ari, I promise.” I sob harder into her shoulder; as much as I want to believe everything will be okay, I’m not really sure it will be.
I sit there staring at Arianna processing the news she’s just given me. What the fuck? I need room to breathe; to think. I stand, kissing her quickly I grab my keys and leave without looking back. I jump into my car, squealing my tires as I whip out of the driveway and head toward my place. Impatiently I wait for the elevator at the ground floor, it pings open and I climb inside. When I walk into my place I make a direct line for the fridge, I need a drink. Quickly I pop the cork from a bottle of wine and take a long drink from the bottle.
A million different emotions are running through me. I don’t know what to do. Pacing back and forth in my living room, I try to process the news that I’m going to be a father. I wanted a family but I thought we’d talk about it, plan it out together; we aren’t even married yet! Drinking down the first bottle of wine I grab another and pop the cork. Sitting down on my couch I stare at the blank TV screen before me. About half way through the second bottle of wine I pass out.
It’s been two days since I’ve seen Landon. Damien says he hasn’t talked to him either. I’m going to give him a little time to deal with this, and I pray to God he comes back to me and is happy about our little peanut. I caress my belly as I spin my engagement ring on my finger. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, it can’t end like this. I look around the house and everything reminds me of Landon; it’s driving me crazy. Calling Ashlan to let her know what I’m doing, I decide to go for a drive to clear my head.
Turning up the radio, I try to drown out my thoughts as I drive through a rural part of town. I love the country, there’s something so serene about it. I’ve been driving for at least an hour when I notice someone following me. I try Landon and he picks up. I speed up some and eventually I lose them. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Finding a street I can turn around on, I head home. Slowing down as I take a sharp bend in the road¸ when I come out of the other side of the bend a white Mercedes swerves into my lane. Swerving to avoid a head on collision I lose control of my car. The car dives into a ditch and slams into a tree. My head slams into the steering wheel, the seat belt jerking me back into my seat. Severe pain shoots through my head and I feel a warm liquid run down my face. I reach up to touch it and realize its blood. OnStar in my car kicks on informing me they are calling 911.
I can hear the sirens coming and Landon pleading with me to answer him as I fight to stay awake but I can’t win; I lose consciousness.
I beg and plead Arianna to forgive me, to give me another chance for being such a shitty man. But there’s no use, it’s over and it’s entirely my fault. She doesn’t want me anymore and who could blame her. I walked out on her when she needed me the most. Now she’s raising our baby with another man and there isn’t a fucking thing I can do about it. This can’t be happening.
“Please Arianna, please don’t give up on us, on me. Just give me a chance to make it up to you,” I plead with her.
“No Landon, it’s over. I can’t be with someone that is just going to walk out on us when times get rough.”
&n
bsp; I sit straight up, tears are streaming down my face and my head is pounding, reminding me of the five bottles of wine I’ve gone through in the past two days. I’ve never drank that much in my life, with this headache I don’t think I ever will again. I check my phone. Fifteen missed calls and just as many text messages, some from Arianna and the others from Damien. All the sudden my phone starts ringing, it’s Arianna. She’s calling! I answer quickly.
“Hey Ari.”
“Landon¸ I think someone is following me.”
“What do you mean you think someone is following you? Where are you?”
“I haven’t heard from you in two days, you wouldn’t answer my calls so I went for a drive to clear my head.”
“Ok… Where are you? I’ll come meet you.”
“No, it’s okay I think I lost them. I’m just going to turn around and head home.”
“Okay, well I’ll stay on the phone with you until you get home.”
“Okay,” she says.
“Arianna, listen I am so fucking sorry about the way I reacted. Can you forgive me?”
“I don’t know Landon, this is all a huge shock to me too and when I needed you, you just walked out.”
“I know I’m so-“
“What the fuck?” Her voice is panicked. Tires squeal in the background and then a loud crash. I hear her moan in agony.
“Arianna? Baby what just happened? Are you okay?” I ask. She doesn’t answer.
“Arianna… angel… please answer me.”
“Landon…” her voice is faint, lower than a whisper.
“Sweetheart tell me where you are. Are you okay? Arianna, please answer me.”
Panic washes over me. She’s been in an accident, and I have no idea where she is. Faintly I can hear the sirens in the background. Please let one of them pick up her phone. The sirens are getting louder and then they stop. Suddenly, I hear the hustle and bustle of the EMT’s.
“Hello!” I yell into the phone. “Can anyone hear me?” I hear a static noise and then there’s a voice on the other end.
“Hello?”
“Hi, my name is Landon Holt. The woman in that car is my fiancée. Is she okay?”
