by Cheri Marie
“Sir, there isn’t much I can tell you right now. Her car is totaled and we still have to assess her injuries. Do you know if she has any medical issues?”
“No she doesn’t, but she is pregnant.” The line goes quiet.
“Okay Mr. Holt, I’m going to hang up now so that I can give my full attention to taking care of your fiancée. We’ll be taking her to Charlotte Memorial.”
“Okay, please make sure she’s okay. Thank you!” I say before hanging up.
My mind is spinning, this can’t be happening! Please let her and the baby be okay. Trying to pull myself together I quickly dial Damien’s number.
“Landon, what the fuck dude? Where have you been?” I guess it’s safe to say Damien isn’t happy with me either.
“Now is not the fucking time for a lecture D!”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice a little softer.
“Is Ashlan with you?”
“Yes, why?” he asks curiously.
“Get to Charlotte Memorial, NOW!”
“What happened? Is everything okay?”
“I’m not sure,” I say, choking back a sob. “Arianna’s been in an accident. She called me because she thought someone was following her. She was turning around to come home and all of the sudden I heard tires squealing and a crash.”
“Oh my God, is she okay?”
“I don’t know D, but you all are closer to the hospital. I’m on my way but get there please!”
“Absolutely, we’re on our way!”
I’ve already grabbed my keys, heading for the door as I hang up, shoving my phone in my pocket. I pray all the way to the hospital for Arianna and the baby to be okay. Pulling into the parking lot of the hospital, I find a spot, slamming my car into park. I rush out of the car and I can see Ashlan and Damien are already inside at the desk. I rush inside to where they’re standing talking to the registrar.
“Hi my name is Landon Holt, my fiancée Arianna Taylor, is being brought in by ambulance, have they arrived yet?”
“Yes, they arrived about ten minutes ago. They’re stabilizing her now.”
“Buzz me in.”
“Sir, I’m sorry but you can’t go back yet. The doctors will come let me know when family can go back.”
“Buzz me in now!” I shout at her as I pound my fists on the desk. “My pregnant fiancée was just in a fucking car accident and you want me to just sit and fucking wait? I need to make sure they’re okay. Let me the fuck in.”
“Sir, do I need to call security to escort you out?” The registrar reaches for the phone but Damien stops her.
“Please don’t call security, he’s just worried for his girl and baby. I’ll calm him down but please let us know as soon as we can go back.”
“No problem, just keep him calm,” she says pointedly looking at me.
“Okay,” Damien says to the registrar and leads me across the waiting room to sit.
Damien and Ashlan are talking to me trying to keep my attention but I’m barely registering anything they’re saying. I promised to never hurt Arianna. I asked her to be my wife and start a family with me. Then she tells me she’s pregnant, that we’re going to be a beautiful little family and what do I do? I fucking walk out on her. This is all my fault! If I wouldn't have walked out, we would have been at home together. I cradle my face in my hands as the tears come again. I jump when someone comes out of the back but it’s just a patient leaving; eventually a nurse comes out and calls my name.
“Right here!” I spring from my seat running over to her. “Is she okay?”
“She's stable. She has some head trauma, so right now she’s in a medically induced coma for twenty-four hours. The swelling is starting to go down already so I am confident in saying she is going to be just fine.”
“What about the baby? Is the baby okay?” bile rises in my throat, if the baby didn’t make it I’ll never forgive myself.
“The baby is fine," a wave of relief rushes over me.
“Thank you, thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome Mr. Holt.”
“When can we see her?”
“You can come in now, but try to keep it brief.”
“Okay,” I say. I wave Ashlan and Damien over to follow us to the back.
We all head to the back where the rooms line each side of the hallway. Walking past a bunch of rooms the nurse finally points to the trauma room where Arianna is. Damien and Ashlan wait in the hall and let me go in first alone. I step into the door way, her motionless body lying there in the hospital bed makes me wish it was me instead of her. I’d do anything to take her pain away. Her head is bandaged and she’s hooked up to all kinds of machines. Slowly I walk to the side of her bed and take her hand in mine. I kiss her on her forehead and then I do something I haven’t done since I was a kid; I pray. Tears start flowing and I don’t try to stop them. I’ve never been a religious man, but if there is a God, I really need him to hear me right now. I drop to my knees next to her hospital bed, closing my eyes I rest my head on our entwined hands and spill my heart and soul to the man upstairs.
“God, or whoever may be listening, I know I don’t deserve your help. I’ve sinned in more ways than one. But please God, if you can hear me, I need you to bring Arianna back to me. I can’t be on this earth without her. She makes me a better man, a man that you can be proud of, the man I want to be. If you give me one more shot at this, I can’t promise to be perfect but I’ll be the best man I can be for Arianna and for our baby. This can’t be how everything is going to end. You’ve brought me home alive from war where I held my best friend as he took his last breath. I fought a silent battle within myself as the demons of my dreams haunted me and when I had decided on ending my life, you brought me Arianna. You can’t take her from me now. I won’t survive that blow. War and nightmares are minuscule compared to what it would be like to lose her and our child. Please give me the chance for one more shot at redemption.”
I hear a sob come from behind me, and I turn to see Ashlan and Damien watching me from the doorway. I whisper, "Amen," to myself as I stand and pull a chair to Arianna’s bedside and sit next to her.
“Baby, I’m so, so sorry,” I say choking back a sob. “I promised to be your hero, your man, a man you can count on and when you needed me the most I walked out on you. I just needed to think but I didn’t think about what you must be going through. I want this baby, I’m so happy we're going to be a family. I’m going to be a daddy and you’re going to make the most amazing mommy! Just please come back to me baby; please!”
Ashlan and Damien have come into the room. Looking up at them I notice Ashlan is sobbing, cuddled into Damien’s side. Damien has his arms around her trying to comfort her. He shoots me a sympathetic look, I nod at him in acknowledgment. Turning my attention back to Arianna, I still can’t believe this happened to my beautiful girl. I have so much making up to do when she wakes up. I reach up and caress her face, running my thumb across her cheek. I hear the door open and the nurse walks in.
“I’m sorry guys, but I’m going to have to ask you to go,” Ashlan and Damien look at me waiting for me to go off.
“Can I please stay with her? Please, you won’t even know I’m here.” I watch the nurse as she contemplates the idea and for a second I think she’s going to say no.
“I’m really not supposed to let anyone stay, but I’ll make an exception.”
“Thank you, thank you so much,” I say as I shake her hand. She nods and exits the room. Damien and Ashlan hug me goodbye and I promise Ashlan I will call if anything changes.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Please drive safe,” I say to both them as they leave, leaving me alone with my girl. I entwine my fingers with hers, kissing the back of her hand.
“I’m so sorry baby, so, so sorry.”
I lay my head on the side of her bed and drift off to sleep.
I hear the sirens in the distance getting louder the closer they get. Within minutes I can hear the commotion around m
y car. The paramedics are asking me if I can hear them. My eyes feel like they’ve been glued shut and my limbs feel like they’re made of cement. I manage to whisper two words, "my baby" as they prepare me for transport to the hospital. They slide a neck brace on me, and then carefully they pull me out onto a stretcher. I’m loaded into the ambulance and then we’re off. The sirens are blaring, slowly they start to fade and I’m gone again.
When I come to, we're at the hospital and the paramedics are giving the doctors all my information. The doctors are looking me over, I can feel when they clean and stitch up the laceration on my head. There’s a pain in my stomach, the baby. I need to know if the baby is okay. I feel something cold put on my abdomen; a few minutes later, there it is, the whoosh of the heartbeat. My little peanut is okay. I fight to stay conscious but darkness consumes me.
There’s something that brings me back, a voice. He’s crying, Landon is here, crying and begging me to come back. He just keeps apologizing over and over again. I want to touch his beautiful face, tell him it’s okay that I understand it was shocking and a big step in our relationship, but everything is still heavy. The sound of sobs come from the other side of the room; a woman, it’s Ashlan. Oh my dear, sweet best friend. Their cries are becoming distant and I’m fading again.
I hear voices, lots of voices. Listening carefully I pray Landon is still there; he is, along with Ashlan, Damien, Xavier and Kat. Oh Kat, she’s crying now too. Landon is trying to comfort her, telling her everything is going to be okay. A voice I don’t know enters the room; I assume it’s the nurse. Everyone’s quiet as she explains to them that they’re going to wake me now and that there is a possibility that I will have amnesia. Listening to the conversation around me I slowly fade away again.
Starting to come to, my body feels a little lighter, the medicine must be wearing off. Slowly I try to move, starting small, I wiggle my fingers. I feel Landon squeeze my hand.
“Arianna, can you do that again sweetheart?”
I concentrate on his voice and force my fingers to move again. He chokes back a sob; I can hear it in his voice when he speaks again.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. Can you open your eyes for me? Let me see those beautiful green eyes of yours.”
Willing my eyes open, I concentrate on being able to see his beautiful face. It takes a while but eventually my eyes slowly flutter open, the hospital lights temporarily blinding me. My head is pounding, I search the room until my eyes adjust, finally landing on Landon. His beautiful face is tear stained and it breaks my heart. A tear breaks free, running down my cheek, Landon softly wipes it away.
“Please don’t cry. This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.”
I want to yell at him, tell him that this isn’t his fault but it all comes out as a whisper.
“It’s… it’s not your fault.” The tears start to fall from those beautiful hazel eyes again as he leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips. He breaks away and looks out into the hallway.
“I’ll be right back,” he says as he quickly slips out of the room and down the hallway. A few moments later he returns, along with everyone else I heard earlier. Ashlan rushes to my side, grabbing my hand.
“I’m so sorry Ari,” she says. I find my voice again but it’s still just a whisper.
“It isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault,” I try to reassure them. There’s a look in Ashlan’s eyes that worries me. Something else is going on and no one is telling me. Looking at all their faces, I try to figure it out. When I reach Landon’s face, there’s a million different emotions dancing in his eyes. Sadness, regret and anger; my heart jumps to my throat.
A few minutes later there’s a knock at the door, my eyes shoot in the direction of the entranceway to my room. Standing there is a police officer. What the fuck is going on? Landon’s at my side again grabbing my hand.
“Baby, this officer needs to ask you a few questions. Are you up for it?”
“Sure, but can I get some water first please?”
“Sure baby, I’ll get the nurse.”
He leaves the room and a few minutes later returns with a cup of water. I take a big gulp and it’s refreshing. Drinking it down quickly, I hand the cup to Landon.
“Okay, I’m ready for your questions,” I say to the officer, my voice is a little louder now.
“Miss Taylor, I just have a few questions, I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible.”
“Okay.”
“Why don’t you tell me what happened from the time you left the house until the accident?”
My mind drifts back to the night before. I’m driving trying to clear my mind; I’ve turned around to go home when I come around the bend and that car, a white Mercedes. I know that car! Starting at the beginning I tell the officer everything that happened from the time I left the house, deciding whether to tell them what I’ve realized about the car I almost went head on with. I tell him, the white Mercedes was Liam.
Looking up at Landon, I watch his whole body tense. He brings my hand he’s holding to his mouth and kisses the back of it.
“Miss Taylor, I’m sorry to make you relive the accident. We’ve inspected your car and it seems as though someone had tampered with your brakes.”
I stop breathing…
“Miss Taylor, are you okay?” I must have turned white as a sheet, there’s concern written all over the officer's face.
“He… He really tried to… to kill me?” I stumble through the words, not believing them as they come out of my mouth. Liam is a lot of things; I never thought murderer would be one of them. Flattening my tires was as far as I would have expected he would ever go.
“We aren’t sure ma’am, there are officers on their way to his house to bring him in for questioning.”
“Okay, well I really don’t want to talk anymore right now. Can any other questions wait until later?”
“Of course, if I need any more information I’ll be in touch.”
The officer shakes Landon’s hand and then leaves. Everyone’s looking at Landon waiting for him to explode.
“I’m going to fucking kill him…” he growls through gritted teeth.
“Landon, don’t do anything stupid! Let the police do their job,” Ashlan says to him.
“You’re going to have a family now, don’t be a fucking idiot bro,” Damien growls at him.
Kat and Xavier look at Damien, then at me and Landon. Fuck they didn’t know yet. Surely, this isn’t how I wanted to give them the good news. I glare at Damien, he mouths "I’m sorry" to me.
“What? Are you serious? You’re pregnant?” Kat is staring at me waiting for an answer, there’s excitement and hurt dancing in her eyes. I feel so bad that I hadn’t called and told her and Xavier yet.
“Yes, I’m six weeks.”
“How long have you known?” she asks, there’s hurt in her tone.
“Only two days.”
“Why didn’t anyone call me?” she asks. She looks at Landon, directing the question at him more than me.
He thrusts his hands into his hair like he does in frustration while he tries to decide whether to tell her the whole story or not.
“Well, you know now, can’t you just be fucking happy for me?” he snaps at her.
“Landon!” I shout at him. Looking over at Kat I catch the shock on her face, then the tears start to fall. Struggling I sit up in the bed the best I can and wave her over and pat the bed for her to sit next to me. She sits and I hug her tightly.
“I’m sorry we didn’t call and tell you. Its big news, Landon and I were still trying to process it ourselves before we called and shared in the happiness,” I glare at Landon over Kat’s shoulder, his face softens. I know he’s just on edge about the news we just got about Liam. He walks over and grabs her, pulling her up into his arms.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you Kat. The truth is it isn’t Arianna’s fault. When she told me she was pregnant, it was like a punch to the gut. I want us to have a family, I just didn’t realize i
t would be this soon. Long story short, I’m a fucking asshole and I walked out on her.” Tears spring to my eyes as he directs his attention to me and continues. “I am so, so unbelievably sorry Arianna. I want you and our little peanut more than anything in this world. It’s my fault you’re lying battered in this hospital bed,” I try to object but he stops me. “If I hadn’t walked out on you, you would have been with me. You wouldn’t have needed to take a ride to clear your head. I will never forgive myself for this and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
“This isn’t your fault,” swallowing the lump in my throat. “I love you so much.”
He releases Kat and quickly comes to my side, softly grabbing my face between his hands he lightly kisses my forehead where the bandage is then kisses my lips. “I don’t deserve your love right now but thank you, I love you more than life itself.” He reaches down and caresses my tummy, “I love our little peanut too...” he whispers against my lips as he kisses me again.
Noticing Xavier hasn’t said anything I look at him questioningly. He gives me a small smile but there’s an emotion dancing behind his eyes that I haven’t seen before. He steps forward and grabs Landon’s arm to get his attention.
“Can I please speak to you outside?” Xavier whispers into my ear. I stand and excuse myself, leaving Arianna to spend time with Kat and Ashlan. Damien is there to keep them company. Xavier and I walk outside and I take a deep breath of fresh air. I hate hospitals. We walk for a little bit when Xavier spins around and I see that look in his eyes, he’s pissed and rightfully so.
“What the fuck were you thinking? Arianna is amazing, she’s been through so much unnecessary bullshit in her life and then when she needs you the most you just fucking walk out on her?”
“I just fucking needed to think. Having a baby is a big fucking step.”
“No shit, but do you think she wasn’t just as shocked as you were? That she didn’t fucking need you to comfort her and tell her everything is going to be alright? You promised to be the man she needed when you proposed and then the first big fucking thing to happen and you run! Some fucking man you are.”
