Ideal Girl (Irish Girl, Hospital Romance 1)

by Jenny O'Brien

  Oh well, he’s asleep and it’s a very big bed, she thought, easing herself silently onto the far side of the mattress. Lucky briefly looked at her with an unblinking stare when she gently stole some of the duvet off him, but she was just too tired to do anything other than roll on her side and fall into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  She woke a couple of hours later on the remnants of a dream. She rested her head deep into the pillow to try and pull the strands back together but it was impossible. She only knew she’d been with Mitch and she’d been happy.

  Shifting uncomfortably her neck still felt stiff. She tried to lift her arm to massage it but couldn’t. Glancing down she realised she was trapped by Mitch’s strong muscled arm that he’d thrown across her stomach in sleep, imprisoning her to the bed. His face was pressed against her curls, so close she could feel his soft breath against the side of her cheek. She lay still, uncertain of what to do. Desperate to move, but not wanting to wake him, she dreaded to think what would happen when he grasped she was in bed with him. She remembered suddenly what had happened the last time, although this time would be very different she thought on a smile. She was on the pill, but that wasn’t the most important thing as far as she was concerned. The most important thing was that Sorcha had just lost the bet. She turned her head to glance across at Mitch, oblivious to her presence in the bed. She’d won the bet by default, but it didn’t really matter – she’d almost decided what she was going to do…...

  However, any ideas she might have had of extricating herself were taken out of her hands, when seconds later Lucky took a flying leap onto his chest.

  ‘What the!’ Mitch sat up with a jolt. ‘I do wish you wouldn’t keep doing that.’ He rifled his hands through his hair. She watched as he turned slowly to look at her.

  With her arms now free she reached down to pull the duvet over her, reproaching herself for her choice of outfit, but then again she hadn’t realised she would be spending the night so to speak. She blushed on blush, turning her face redder if possible as she remembered the last time she’d been encased in flannelette. But as she looked back at Mitch’s diverted eyes she realised here was a gentleman in the true sense of the word.

  ‘I, er got cold downstairs. I I hope you don’t mind, I couldn’t find another bed,’ she stammered.

  ‘No, you wouldn’t.’ He said, wondering if he was still asleep or not. He’d just been dreaming he’d been in bed with her and here she was, hair all over the place and the top of her sundress delightfully in disarray, showing acres of cleavage trying desperately to escape from their yellow prison.

  His eyes returned to her face as she lay back against the pillow. He’d called her Cinders: she was more Snow White, with all that delicious hair forming dark waves against his stark linen. He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help himself. In his dream they’d been on their honeymoon. He didn’t know where and he didn’t care. All he remembered was they’d made promises he intended to keep, just like that promise he’d made to himself last night. He shook his head, confusion written all over his face; his mind struggling between the sleeping world and the present one. He’d give everything to return to the blissful haven of five minutes before.

  He had to get away, he had to think and there was no way he could think of anything other than….‘That’ with her staring back at him, all wide eyed and sleep tousled.

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on if you’d like the first shower.’

  As he rolled over and stood up from the bed he only hoped she wouldn’t notice how turned on she made him. God, he’d never had so many erections in all his life. He seemed to go around with a permanent hard on when she was around and it was beginning to get painful. He went to one of the built in cupboards and pulling out a couple of bath sheets, placed them on the bed before heading out of the room closely followed by Lucky.

  Liddy, unsure of what had happened to make him run away took the opportunity to jump out of bed and head for the shower before he could return. Stripping off her now crumpled dress she stepped into the blessedly hot stream of water allowing the droplets careen over her body. As she washed away the remains of last night’s party with liberal amounts of Mitch’s shower gel she considered her options. Well there was only one option for her now wasn’t there.

  She padded back into the bedroom, wrapping a second towel around her head, her body already hidden by a huge bath sheet. Sitting down slowly on the edge of the bed she was massaging her neck when Mitch entered with their drinks. He placed the tray on the floor before walking to her side.

  ‘I slept awkwardly.’

  ‘Here, let me.’ He said, carefully removing the towel from her still damp curls before draping them over one shoulder. His warm hands encased her neck and she shivered gently as his firm fingers started to knead and explore the hollows and mounds of her shoulders.

  ‘That’s good, just there.’ Said Liddy, her eyes closed as she arched her neck towards his hands. Suddenly looking up she stared into his eyes and remembered there was only a towel between them. Well that can easily be remedied. She lightly lifted her mouth to his pulling him down onto her warm trembling lips as she started to kiss him. Softly at first but then more ardently as she prised his mouth open and tenderly nibbled his sensual bottom lip, her need to kiss him so wantonly coming from deep within - from a place that she didn’t understand. But this need was very different from what she’d felt at Bridie’s. Then she’d wanted to have sex, now all she wanted was to show him by word and by deed how much she loved him. Moving slightly she allowed the towel to slip to the floor.

  Something was wrong, something just didn’t feel right.

  Oh the boobs were just as he’d imagined them – soft and generous. But even as he heard her moan he knew he had to stop. It was too late. If he’d taken her in her flat it would have been different, but now he just couldn’t continue. Even as he felt his erection falter and die he lifted his head, and cradling her head within his hands rested his forehead against hers.

  ‘No Liddy, stop. I….can’t.’

  But she interrupted him.

  ‘Shush, it’s all right,’ her voice thick with emotion as she reached down to his pyjama bottoms. ‘I want this now, please.’

  Well I don’t, he answered silently as he continued to stare down at her upturned face. Whilst part of him would dearly love to continue, to take what Liddy had started to its ultimate conclusion another part of him just couldn’t. He remembered, was it only a couple of weeks ago how he’d tried to make love to her and she’d rejected him. He was upset then, puzzled even until he realised just what it meant to her. Well it now was an equally big deal for him. He didn’t just want a quick roll in the hay; he wanted forever, with all the trappings that came with a forever promise – kids, mortgage, account at Ikea.

  Simply put sex now just wasn’t enough. He wanted all of her not just her body and he wanted her to feel the same way about him. He shook his head as he clumsily reached down to secure her towel back in place.

  ‘I, I can’t. I’m sorry.’ he said, turning away.

  ‘Why not, I thought you wanted me?’ said Liddy.

  He kneeled by her side and clasped both her hands in his, even as she struggled to be free.

  ‘Liddy, look I’m sorry. It’s just I’m not ready yet. It would be so easy to climb back into bed with you, but it’s my turn to say we need to slow things down a bit.’ he said, desperately trying to look her in the eye, but avoiding her gaze all the same. ‘Things are just moving a bit fast for me - that’s all. Come on, have your tea while I have my shower and let’s spend the day together.’

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Liddy stood at the edge of the room, clutching the towel to her breast as the realisation of his rejection sank in. Part of her followed him as he made his way to the bathroom, but only a very small part and that through a fog of apathy – a fog of apathy that came out of nowhere to envelop her within its folds.

  Never in her worst nigh
tmare had she imagined this. Even if he didn’t love her surely he had no need to reject her like this? As she glanced down at her body, clearly outlined under the towel she wondered if nothing had changed since her father had turned away from her and her ma? Nobody wanted her then and Mitch was no different. She’d offered herself to him on a plate and he’d rejected her - it was as simple as that. What was it with blokes anyway? The ones she didn’t want wouldn’t leave her alone, while the one she wanted couldn’t even bare to touch her, or even be in the same room come to it as her eyes strayed to the closed door.

  The tears started to fall unbidden down her cheeks, but she brushed them aside with an angry hand. It wasn’t the time for tears, it wasn’t time for sorrow – the time for such trivialities had long since passed. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t let herself grieve over a man again - Mitch walking away wasn’t going to change that.

  She collapsed on the edge of the bed as she heard the power shower kick into action. Perhaps he was being honest in wanting to wait, although he’d be the first man she’d come across that hadn’t tried to manoeuvre her between the sheets. Men only thought about what they could get, men like Donal, even men like her dad had proved nothing lasted forever and the pull of the flesh was stronger than love and loyalty.

  She thought back to Sorcha’s text. Why the hell couldn’t her life be as simple as her friend’s? There was a girl who knew what she wanted and she made sure she got it. Liddy also knew what she wanted, but she didn’t have the first clue as to how to get it.

  But what now? What on earth was she meant to do now? Did he really expect to find her still waiting like a humble doormat, or was this his subtle way of telling her to get lost?

  Well, she’d rather die a virgin alone than die one in front of him. He’d made a fool of her for the last time. The sound of the power shower shutting off was the impetus she needed. Hastily jumping off the bed and reaching for her dress she dragged it over her head, before racing out of the room. She paused, but only briefly to put on her sandals and grab her bag and shawl. She didn’t let her mind dwell on the very different morning she’d planned. She hadn’t lost her virginity as planned, she’d lost something much more vital - she’d ended up losing herself!

  She let herself out of the door, surprised by the darkness until she realised it was still only six am. Six am on a cold dark winter’s morning - the only thing missing was the rain, she thought blithely as the door clicked behind her. That would make it bloody perfect!

  Heading to the pavement was her only plan, that is until she saw the dim outline of the park looming ahead - then she ran. She ran as quickly as she could, the skirt of her long dress gathered around her knees, her hair streaming out behind her. All she could focus on was the park ahead. If she could reach the safety of the park she’d be able to escape him. She didn’t want to spend the day, she didn’t want to chat. All she wanted to do was to hide – to hide amongst the deep dark safety of the trees ahead. She wanted to merge with them, to let them enfold her in their long bare branches. She wanted….. No, she craved invisibility.

  She reached the trees just as her supply of oxygen finally ran out leaving her heaving for breath. But now she could relax, surrounded by the forest that enveloped her, hiding her from a world she didn’t understand any more. She’d managed to hide from him - if only it was as easy hide from herself.

  Finding a bench she rooted in her bag for her ringing phone.

  ‘Hi You.’

  ‘Hi Liddy, Paul and I were just heading out to Mac Donald’s for breakfast – do you and Mitch fancy joining us?’

  ‘No, I’m not with him.’

  There was a long pause. ‘Oh well, that’s too bad, but you can always come on your own. So where are you?’

  ‘I’m just on my way home.’ She had a sudden image of Mitch turning up on her doorstep and she couldn’t have that. She remembered the twenty Euro note she’d slipped in her bag at the last minute and knew what she’d do – after all it was about time. ‘Look, if Mitch tries to phone you just tell him I’m around at my dad’s will you?’ He wouldn’t follow her there.

  ‘Okay. Are you all right, do you need me to come over?’

  ‘No, I’ll be fine. I just need to be on my own for a bit. Have a lovely day with Paul – he seems nice.’ She turned her phone off before she could be asked any more questions. She didn’t have any more answers. She had nothing left, everything that had meant anything to her she’d just left behind.

  It was bitterly cold sitting there with only her thin shawl to protect her from the icy wind. But it didn’t matter, nothing mattered. She eyed the scarred bench as a wave of desperate all-encompassing tiredness washed over her. She’d just lie back for a moment to gather herself together before making her way to see her dad. It was still too early to catch the bus and five minutes either way wouldn’t make any difference.

  Her mind filtered backwards. He’d probably make his way to her flat first and when he found her gone he’d probably phone Sorcha. Not that he’d be worried, he’d have let her stay if he’d cared. No, he’d probably feel it was his duty just to check she got home safely. Despite what she now thought of him, despite everything that had happened she still believed him to be a gentleman.

  She closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to escape again even as she…..

  ‘Hello there luv, so what’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone like this?’

  Her eyes so recently closed, snapped to attention, allowing one wayward tear to brim over and track down her cheek. She looked into the crazy red rimmed eyes encased in rolls of red veined flesh and knew she was in trouble. What a stupid little fool. What the hell had made her choose a deserted park to escape to? She’d thought that nothing could be worse than Mitch’s rejection – how naive was that. Her eyes widened as he moved towards her and she forget everything that had gone before. She forgot last night, she forgot this morning and she forgot Mitch - The thoughts that had been screaming around her head moments before were now as barren as the soil by her feet. As her mind stilled so did her body. She was frozen solid with fear, fear and stupidity at her actions until adrenaline finally kicked in and jerked her away – late, but welcome all the same.

  ‘Oh don’t be like that. All I want is what’s in your handbag.’

  She flung it at him before turning to run out of the park. She had to get away, she had to run as fast as she could out of the park and into the safety of the streets beyond – streets meant people and surely to God there’d be someone to help! She could see the entrance now, just as she could hear his voice from the trees calling her back. But it was alright, he couldn’t get at her now, she only had to……

  Her thoughts stopped as her foot caught in the skirt of her long yellow dress.

  The harmless drunk dropped her bag alongside his half full bottle of wine as he watched her whole body tilt upwards in the air before slamming back against the hard pavement. She didn’t have time to save herself; she didn’t have time to stop the inevitable. She just managed to put out her hands and then nothing! She didn’t hear the snap as the little bone in her left wrist buckled under the pressure. She didn’t hear the crack as her head hit the curb and she didn’t feel anything as her face bashed into the curb.

  She was already unconscious when the old drunk turned and ran at the sight of her body sprawled across the road leaving the spilled contents of her bag scattered in his wake.

  Chapter Thirty

  She was dreaming. All was white light and crystal clean as if she was covered in snow. Mitch was back with her - beside her, above her, next to her and in the distance. She could feel his presence, she could hear him shouting, she could even smell his shower gel, but try as she might she couldn’t see him.

  She made one last effort but, eyes wide open it was useless – a heavy fog had descended out of nowhere to separate them. She changed tack and shouted for him. His name screamed and ricocheted around her head like a whirlpool but he couldn’t,
or wouldn’t hear her call.

  She sensed him turn his back and slowly walk away, shrinking to a pinprick until disappearing out of sight.

  She woke up with a start and found herself looking into the bright end of a pencil torch.

  The same types of torches we use to test pupil reactions in head injuries.

  As the brightness faded she was able to focus on the outline of a female doctor she didn’t know before her eyes closed in sleep. When she next woke it was dark and lonely. She lifted her hand to touch her tingling face, only to find that she was touching her own tears falling silently down her cheeks, the same colour as the snow she’d just been dreaming about.

  She heard a voice she couldn’t see, the words echoing from the other end of a long tunnel.

  ‘Liddy, it’s Sorcha. It’s alright now, you’re safe. Just sleep, you need to sleep.’

  She tried to turn her head, but it hurt so much and there was something stopping it. Her eyes widened as she realised the pressure against her chin was the soft contours of a neck brace, the same type of neck brace they used for patients with spinal injuries.

  ‘It’s okay; it’s only a precaution until they can x-ray you. I’m here and I’m not leaving.’ Liddy’s eyelids started to droop in response to the painkillers that the doctor had just administered, this time falling into a deep, drug induced dream free sleep.