Privileged

by J.M. Downey

  Keith snatched the magazine from her hand. “What do you expect when a fag decides what’s hot?”

  She flinched. That was a harsh statement. He stood and grabbed a Maxim, flipping through the pages, until he settled on a picture of a girl in a bikini, leaning against a tiger.

  He sat next to her. “Look at this girl. Look at the curvy fullness of her hips and long nice legs.” Keith traced his finger over each part of the girl’s body as he pointed it out. “This is what a man wants. That’s why she’s in a magazine for men. No man wants a twig.”

  “Is that what you want in a woman?”

  “That’s what I got.” He closed the magazine. “You have a nice body. I imagine you look like her in a bikini.”

  Katie’s cheeks warmed. “You think I look like her?”

  “Yeah,” he said. He gave her a sensuous smile, letting his eyes scan her body.

  Katie tensed. She knew what was on his mind.

  Keith pulled her into his arms. “You alright?”

  The scent of his fresh shirt floated to her as tingles filled her. He gave so much to her, but what did she give him? Nothing. She would have to before he grew tired of her. “Let’s get something to eat.”

  He bought the books; took her to get a hamburger and then the movies.

  Afterwards, they walked towards his car. “Want to go back to your dorm?”

  She got into the car after he opened the door. “No. Can I stay with you tonight?”

  Keith raised his eyebrows. “You don’t?”

  “No, the last person I want to see is my roommate.” She tried to stop her voice from trembling, but it was useless, she could hear the shakiness. She pressed her hand against her ice-cold cheek.

  “Do you want to get some clothes?”

  “No.”

  All she wanted to do was get to his room, and get things over with. She leaned her head against the window. Was she actually going to do this? To let him have her, before he even made a permanent commitment? Yes, she would. If she showed him how much she loved him, he would stay. He just would. And then she could prove Becca and Angel wrong. She would treat him better than Ashley ever did, and he would soak her up.

  They didn’t talk much on the way to his apartment. When they arrived, Katie went to Keith’s bedroom. She kicked off her shoes, dropped her coat and lay on his bed - stretching out on the soft silk sheets. She closed her eyes when Keith lay down next to her. Her body trembled as he ran a hand under her shirt and rested it on her belly before kissing her softly on the ear, his lips trailing to her mouth. It was going to hurt. She’d always heard it would.

  His kiss became more passionate, more forceful. His hands began to explore. This was as far as she had ever let him go. He pulled on her shirt, making her cringe. She moved from him. What was she thinking?

  He took a deep breath and rolled onto his back. His eyes darkened. He used to try and hide his annoyance, but no longer. He was growing tired of her prudishness. She felt a harsh burning feeling in her stomach.

  “I….” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but the tightness in her limbs wouldn’t subside. The burning feeling grew harsher. Her stomach felt unsettled like she could throw up at this moment.

  His fingers caressed her cheek. “What is it?”

  She stilled. Leave. Did she just hear a small voice telling her to leave, to flee the temptation? Keith leaned over her, longing in his light blue eyes, and her whole body warmed. He loved her so much, showed it in everything he did for her. The time had come for her to show him the same love.

  “Be gentle,” she whispered. “Please.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She placed her hands on his back. “Just remember I’ve never done it before.”

  Keith’s lips slowly turned into his sensuous smile.

  “I….”

  His lips smashed into hers with such a forceful passion, revealing the depth of his desire for her. Katie wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him close. This would be their wedding night. The night she clenched him for forever.

  TWELVE

  Katie rolled over and wrapped her arms around her waist as a chill swept over her body. Fingers brushed her bare skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps. What had happened to the blankets and Keith? The whole night, she had listened to his heartbeat thumping against her ear. She reached for the sheets, but grabbed something solid. A hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at Keith who leaned over her. His damp hair was brushed back, making his eyes stand out. Those eyes had held so much compassion last night when she started to cry from the pain.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Just watching you sleep. You’re so beautiful.”

  “Oh.” She looked down over her bare body. He must have pulled the sheets off of her. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.

  “Close your eyes,” he said.

  She closed them. Something cold encircled her neck and fell over her skin, making her hand fly to her throat. Jewels. The edges felt so smooth. They must be of the finest quality.

  “You can open them.”

  Katie opened her eyes and looked down at the string of diamonds that glittered against her skin. How beautiful. Men only gave diamonds to girls they loved.

  “I was waiting for the right moment to give this to you.”

  Something warm swept through her. A moment as beautiful as last night. “Keith, I....” Katie caressed the smooth edges of the diamonds. “I love them.”

  “Do you?”

  She nodded. “You are so good to me.”

  “You were good to me last night.”

  Heat spread across her cheeks. “I wanted to be.”

  “I’m glad, but I want you to know I really love you,” he said, staring straight into her eyes, entrancing her. “And I’m not going to leave you.”

  Katie’s heart felt light. He had made a promise not to leave her. Keith lifted her hair and she clasped the necklace ends together. “I’ll wear it all day.”

  “Thank you.” Keith kissed her on the lips, laying her back onto the bed - the scent of his sandalwood cologne floated all over her. No voices talked to her this time, and the harsh feeling was gone. Good. She could now concentrate on pleasing him.

  When they were done, Keith rolled off of her, put on a t-shirt and his boxers. His face had a brightness to it, and he had a bounce in his steps. “I’m going to get a drink.”

  Katie put on the dress shirt he wore last night, and grabbed some boxers from one of his drawers. She followed him into the kitchen. Brandon sat at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and reading a newspaper. He lowered the paper – his eyes wide.

  “Hey.” She raised her hand.

  Brandon nodded as a smirk slipped on his face. He knew. Which meant Ashley and Amanda would know soon.

  Keith poured two glasses of orange juice and handed her one. She took a sip, glancing over the glass. Brandon wouldn’t look away. Was it that big of a shock that she had spent the night with Keith? Amanda probably spent many nights with Brandon. But Brandon’s look made her feel dirty, a slut like those girls had called her. She turned around and headed to the fridge, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he still watched her. She had to get him out of the house. She opened the fridge and spotted a twelve-pack of beer, a half pint of milk and nothing else. “You don’t have any food.”

  “We mostly eat out,” Keith said.

  She closed the fridge. “Can you go to the store and get some food? I’ll make you two breakfast.”

  “Let’s just go out to eat.”

  Brandon stood and pushed the chair against the table. His eyes were so animated. “Keith, let her make us breakfast.”

  Katie turned to Keith and smiled.

  “Okay.” He set his glass down and headed towards the bathroom.

  Katie sat on a stool at the bar. Maybe Brandon would get the shock out of his system before they returned.


  Keith brushed a lock of hair out of his eye as he got into the car just seconds before Brandon sat next to him. Later, he would have to talk to him about how he followed Katie’s every move like she was some exhibit. Besides, there was nothing different about the girl, she was still innocent and in, a way still, virginal.

  “Details,” Brandon said.

  Brandon had a bright smile on his face, expectation in his eyes. Keith squeezed the steering wheel. “No.”

  Brandon slapped Keith’s arm. “Oh, come on, you always tell me details.”

  His voice rose. “I’m not sharing her.”

  Brandon raised his hands in the air. “Whatever, man. Don’t freak out.”

  Keith started the car. “Just don’t ask me about her.”

  Brandon changed the subject to his experiences from last night. He didn’t want to hear about the other girls; he just wanted to think of Katie and how good last night had felt. He replayed it in his head, feeling the desire rise again. She was so perfect, so delicate and last night was wonderful. She had been timid, scared and just lay there, but he had never found more pleasure in a woman. As he caressed her, promising it wouldn’t always hurt, he knew he would always be happy and could do whatever his father wanted, just as long as she was his. He would marry her no matter what his father said.

  Keith walked in the door of his apartment, holding a medium brown package. It had started to snow this morning, which had delayed him from returning home to Katie. Hopefully, she believed the note he left, saying he had to take care of something for school. He had gone to a rare bookstore in town, but they didn’t have what he wanted; the clerk had called another bookstore in Boston and found it there. He had waited as one of the interns at the firm flew into Connecticut with it. He then picked up the ring from the jewelry store.

  After patting his pocket to make sure the small black box was still there, he shrugged off his coat and looked around the apartment, finding Katie asleep on the couch, lost in a dream. He went to where she lay, and kissed her on the head. She opened her eyes and smiled. “Get done what you needed to?” Her eyelids flickered. He had never seen such a beautiful face.

  “I want today to be all about you. It’s snowing Katie.”

  Her eyes widened. “It is?”

  Katie slid off of the couch and ran to the window. She lifted the blinds and stared out at the white scene. “It’s so beautiful.”

  Keith wrapped his arms around her waist. “Not as beautiful as you.”

  “Let’s go outside,” she said.

  “Go put on some warm clothes.”

  It only took Katie five minutes before she returned all bundled up in a light brown coat and a purple wool hat pulled over her head. The smile on her face reminded him of the brown box that sat on the floor next to the couch.

  “Let’s go,” she said, slipping on some gloves.

  “Before we do, I want to give you something.” He walked over to the couch and picked up the box, before handing it to her.

  He stared into her light blue eyes, feeling himself lost in them. “I wanted to give you something really special.”

  “What is it?”

  “Just open it.”

  Katie opened the box. She gasped and then dropped it.

  “Katie.” He bent down and picked up the box. His whole body warmed at the sight of her wide bright eyes. He had chosen well.

  “Where did you find it?” she asked.

  “I searched all day, and finally found it at a bookstore two hours from here.” He handed it back to her. “It’s a first edition.”

  “I know.”

  “Gone With the Wind. Oh, Keith.” She flung her arms around him; still holding the book. “You make me so happy.” She pulled from him. “I wish I could do something like this for you.”

  “Maybe you’ll have your chance later.” He squeezed her.

  She kissed him on the cheek and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. “I will.”

  Yes, she would. He held her for a few more minutes before reminding her of the snow.

  Katie laid her head against Keith’s shoulders as a small gathering of children worked together erecting a snowman as white flakes floated around them. Maybe someday they would watch their own children trying to complete such a task.

  “The Yankees should have won that game,” Keith said. “But….”

  A yawn escaped her lips. She wanted a child with dark blue eyes and his dark brown hair. But she was getting ahead of herself.

  Keith wrapped her in his arms and continued on about the ballgame. Snake like, she stretched out her hand and grasped a small handful of snow. Her hand flew to the top of Keith’s head and plopped it down on his black knit hat.

  He pushed his lips into a thin line while scrunching his eyes. His cheeks took on a pink color as snow dropped over his brow. He opened his eyes. “You know, sweetheart, you shouldn’t start a fight with someone bigger than you.”

  Katie busted out laughing as Keith swept her in his arms and carried her to a pile of snow and dropped her. The powdery snow surrounded her and chilled her to the bone as Keith began to bury her. She gazed into his eyes full of light and mischief. She had never seen him so childish. This was her man, the one she loved.

  With the balls of her feet, she pushed the swing back and forth, but she couldn’t generate enough heat to warm her chilled body.

  Keith gazed out into the distance as he told her about his father’s firm. “Someday I’m going to run that firm, Katie. Can you see it?”

  She smiled. She could. What a leader he would make. Life with him would be wonderful. If she could just stay with him, helping him accomplish his dreams, like a wife should. He would have his firm and she would have her small class of kindergarteners. Together they could shape lives, just on different scales.

  Keith stood. He must want to leave. She planted her feet onto the ground but he motioned for her to stay seated. He stepped in front of her, taking her hands. His blue eyes didn’t waver, showing every ounce of confidence in him.

  “I’ve got big plans, Katie, but all I really want is you.”

  “Well, you got me.” Her cheeks warmed.

  “No, I really want you.”

  Keith knelt, and brought her hands to his face, kissing her knuckles. “I really love you, and I want us to be together forever. My life wouldn’t be worth it without you.”

  Katie sucked in air. Where was this conversation going? She searched his face, but not one emotion flickered across it.

  “I’ll always give you what you want,” Keith continued. “And do anything to keep you happy. Just do me one favor.”

  “Always love you,” she said. Her smile stretched farther.

  “Yeah, that’s all I’ll ever want from you.”

  “Don’t worry. I can’t see myself loving anyone else.” Katie tapped her feet on the ground.

  “Remember how this afternoon, you said you wish you could do something real special for me?”

  “Yeah.”

  Keith reached into his pocket and removed his hand, revealing a three diamond princess cut ring. “Then become my wife.”

  Katie lost her breath. That was what he wanted. Her as his wife. An intense heat filled her, spreading throughout every limb.

  “Am I going to get an answer?”

  She nodded, as tears slipped down her face.

  The smile on Keith’s face widened and he slipped the ring onto her finger. “Oh, my love,” he said, pulling her from the swing and grasping her in his arms.

  She rested her head on his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne. Her plan had worked; she had made him happy, so he wanted her. She closed her eyes; she would be with him, forever.

  THIRTEEN

  Besides a red knit sweater, and a long black skirt, Katie walked into her composition class wearing a smirk on her face. She looked around the room and spotted Angel sitting by herself, chewing on her eraser. This shouldn’t take long and then she could return to Keith’s apartm
ent and wait for him to get done with his study session. She strolled to Angel’s seat in the back, and sat next to her. Angel must be ignoring her, but Katie focused on the back of her head.

  “What, Katie?” Angel said, finally turning to her.

  “I just wanted to show you something.”

  She waited for Angel to respond, but the girl just glared at her.

  “I guess he’s not playing with me.” Katie raised her hand and showed Angel the diamonds.

  “He gave you that?” Angel shouted, and everyone in the room turned to look at them.

  Katie turned the ring to her face. “Yeah. He said he couldn’t imagine his life without me.” Katie looked at her. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Wilkerson.”

  Angel took several quick breaths before she grabbed her books and ran out of the room.

  Katie stood and wrapped her arms around her waist, chewing on her bottom lip. Turning, she left amongst the whispers of her classmates. She should feel better – at least satisfied instead of feeling drained. Was revenge always this unsatisfying?

  Katie slipped on a pair of black shorts that just covered her bottom and a white t-shirt that stretched tight over her skin, accenting her curves. This was Keith’s favorite outfit. Hopefully, it would distract him. School would be ending in two weeks for the winter break and she just wanted him to come home with her to meet her parents. She tapped her fingers on the dresser in front of her. In the mirror, she could see the unsettledness in her eyes. She should have told her family about him, but how could she explain that he was 24, and not a Christian? Keith would be mad if he knew, but maybe she could make him understand. She took a deep breath, letting the air out in a slow stream. Somehow everything would work out. Maybe her parents would find out about his godfather and then they wouldn’t care or notice his age and lack of faith.

  She walked out of the bedroom, tip- toeing up to the black leather couch until she was right behind him. He sat on the couch with his arms outstretched on the back. In front of him, a basketball game played on the HD TV that took up forty percent of the wall. She practiced a pout before she walked to the side of the couch and plopped herself onto his lap.