“How do I help him?” Reeling from a ton of emotions, she refused to give up. He needed someone, no matter if he wanted to believe it or not.
Dr. Scott placed her elbows on her desk and clasped her hands together. “Are you prepared for a long road of recovery? He won’t recuperate overnight. Although, as willful as he seems, he could improve quicker than most.”
“Yes, I’m ready to do whatever it takes.” She trusted Duke, even if at the moment he hid behind a wall of protection and anger.
“All of his testing has come back normal. There are no signs of bodily dysfunction besides muscle weakness and scarring. I could sign his release papers as early as the end of the week.”
“In four days?” A mixture of anticipation and anxiety climbed her spine.
Dr. Scott shrugged. “There’s no reason for him to stay here. A physical therapist could come to see him every few days and work with him at home. We advise for patients, if physically possible, to get back to living life as soon as possible. Staying here, in this environment, can be dismal for patients during recovery.”
Lila realized what the Doctor suggested. “Duke would never agree to come home with me.”
“Does he have a choice? Is there someone else? Family? Close friends?”
“No.” Lila knew he had no relatives, at least any he could count on. And she couldn’t ask Chance and Carly to take him in, although she knew they would without hesitation. At the moment, Carly had her hands full with the baby and another on the way, and recently their housekeeper, Thelma, fell and broke her leg. Chance wasn’t working as many hours on the ranch after hiring more hands, but he was consumed with his wife and their son.
Nope, there were no other options.
A buzzing sound interrupted Lila’s thoughts. The doctor checked her pager. “I’m sorry. I have to run. Duty calls.” She pushed back her chair as she grabbed her stethoscope and slid it into her jacket pocket. “You can think about my proposal, but take it very seriously. I understand this could change your living habits.”
Lila hesitated. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sure, but she had Ava to think of. How would Duke treat their child? Would he offer her a cold personality as he had Lila? No, that wasn’t Duke. Lila caught Dr. Scott at the door. “I’ll do it on one condition.” The other woman popped up one thin brow. Evidently she didn’t like conditions. “You break the news to him.”
CHAPTER FIVE
DUKE EYED HIS neatly folded clothes at the bottom of the bed. He was at a cross of emotions. He was happy to get the hell out of the hospital, but anger dulled the shine some. He’d been teetering somewhere between pissed and relief since Dr. Scott came in and gave him the news that he’d be discharged in a few days. The smile had barely settled on his lips before she’d told him he’d need someone to help care for him until he was stronger.
Being forced into something didn’t settle well with him, and when he was told he’d have a grown up version of a babysitter, his ego thinned to the width of a piece of paper.
On the other hand, staying in a hospital where he was the only one awake besides the nurses didn’t do much for him either. He hated having nurses coming and going all day checking his stats.
There came a time when a man found himself backed against a wall and with no ego remaining to protect, he admitted his ass was in a sling.
It took him a full minute to think over the Dr. Scott’s offer of breaking out of the sanitary jail and told her to print off his discharge papers. Hell, she’d even agreed to set up his nurse. Once he got to the Swift Wind, where he planned to stay until the McAllister was ready, the sitter would run from the spitting, crude bunch of men who lived in the residential hand quarters. The thought brought vengeance in his gut.
He checked out his clothes and smiled. Damn, he was glad to get out of the open-backed gown and thin pajama bottoms. He needed real clothes—manly clothes. He guessed anything would butter up his bruised ego. He’d have to thank Chance for dropping them off, especially for remembering his old, scuffed boots.
Dressing in the new, red-checkered flannel and dark jeans, he was pulling on his last boot when he heard someone behind him. “I see the clothes are a little big.” It was Lila.
His stomach twisted like someone wringing a wet dishtowel. What was she doing here? He glanced across the worn floor to sandals that showed off red painted toenails, up her long, bare legs, skirt, along her slender waist, stopping to admire the shape of her full breasts, until he reached her face. Oh hell, she cocked her hidden lasers and burned a hole straight through him. What was she up to?
He straightened, but didn’t get up. His legs were still weak, and with the blood draining from his head and rushing into his groin, he was bound to fall flat on his face. “If the clothes are big that’s only because Chance thinks everyone is two-hundred pounds.”
As she reduced the distance between them in the already-too-small room, beads of sweat formed on his upper lip. Damn betrayal of his body.
“Chance had nothing to do with it. I brought them from home, the shirt I bought new.”
He swallowed the scratchiness in his throat. “You brought the clothes?” And what did she mean by “from home.” They’d never lived together.
“Yes, don’t sound so shocked. I made the best choice with what I thought would fit you. You’ve lost weight.”
“They’re fine. I’ll eat some of Thelma’s home cooking and I’ll have my gut back in no time. A man’s first meal after a coma should never be fed to him through an IV.” He patted his stomach as his mouth watered, already tasting Thelma’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes and homemade rolls. Lila moved and his thoughts of food disappeared and her scent took its place. A hint of blackberry blended with vanilla. He’d never forget that smell.
“I’m glad you have your appetite,” she said, “but—”
“Thanks. Now you can leave.” No good ever came from someone adding “but” at the end of a sentence. He was getting a feeling deep inside his chest and he didn’t like it one bit.
“Thelma has a broken leg and is staying with her family during healing. And leaving? I’m actually waiting.” She turned her chin up as if she dared him to challenge her.
Duke felt every muscle in his body quiver. “Waiting? For hell to freeze over?”
A crafty smile slithered its way across the perfect shape of her lips. “Well, not quite.”
He bit back a smile. “You’re not here just to drop my clothes off, are you?” With a shake of her head, and a shrug of one shoulder, she laughed. It was the laugh of a woman who had him by the balls.
“No, afraid not. Looks like you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together.”
Duke felt a sting as the hand of reality slapped him. He’d been tricked. Anger shot through him. “You’re kidding me. You? My nurse? Not going to happen.”
“Duke,” she sighed. “Can we do this the easy way?”
“Not the easy way, not the hard way, just no way at all.”
“Well, then, you could stay here.”
The mere words made him cringe. “Hell no!” He scrubbed his jaw. A man could go insane stuck in a room. No, he couldn’t stay. “I hope you packed up your boots, old jeans and a chastity belt.”
“And why is that?” She didn’t appear the least bit bothered. Her eyes beckoned him and he thought he’d drown in them if he stared too long.
“Because the boys at the Swift Wind won’t know how to control themselves with a pretty woman sleeping in the workers quarters.” Happy with himself, he straightened his back. He guessed she’d last all of one night, considering she wasn’t much into roughing it. That’d take care of his problem.
“Oh, we’re not heading to the Swift Wind. Didn’t Chance tell you the good news? He told you everything else.”
His heart skipped a beat. He could hear the air sizzle around him as his blood heated. “Tell me what?”
“I’m living at the McAllister. After the accident, Chance and Carly asked if I would
live there, to help watch over the house, until,” He saw her jaw tense, “you came out of the coma. It’s your home. It’s been Ava’s home also.”
Duke wanted to be angry with Chance, but he didn’t have a good enough reason. Before the accident, Duke had every intention of living at the McAllister with Lila. He’d planned for the ranch to be their home. Things change though, and the thought of living with Lila, and having her help him, was a real kick to the confidence. At the same time, he felt a sense of guilt for not having more appreciation for the people who’d looked out for him.
“And Chance hired on new ranch hands for the McAllister when the lead ranch hand retired. The place runs likes a dream. Dillon Brook is now the supervisor. You may not remember him, but that doesn’t matter, you’ll learn the ropes.”
“Did you say his name is Dillon Brook? Sounds like a movie, not a rancher.” Duke shrugged a shoulder. There was a lot of room in his flannel. Lila was right. He’d not only lost his weight, but muscle, too. He’d always prided himself in being in shape and toned but no doubt he’d be back in form after a few weeks working the ranch. He’d land on his feet, he was damned sure.
“He’s a great rancher, Duke. Chance and I together agreed he should have the position as leader.”
He snorted. “What gave you the right?”
“The right?”
“To plan my life without asking first.”
With the tapping of her foot against the floor, her face grew red. “You prideful, ass of a man. What gave me the right? Let me tell you something—”
“Save it.” He interrupted. “I can take care of my own place now.”
Her lips thinned. “No, I won’t save it. What gave me the right to give our daughter a place to live? A home? Don’t worry. After you’ve recovered enough to take care of yourself, Ava and I will move out of the McAllister. And what gave me the right to volunteer for the glorious position of your caretaker? I want to take care of your ass even though all I’d like to do at the moment is drop you on it.”
Shame washed over him. He shouldn’t have made her feel at fault for living at the ranch. She was right. He was a prideful, ass of a man. He’d always been, long before the accident. Anger gripped his emotions and he supposed he’d tripled in attitude. How could he ever forget the burden he’d been to her? Damn, he could even see the pity in her expression. Hell, she was a nurse. It was in her blood to help people, and he didn’t want to be her patient. Could his pride take any harder blow? “I didn’t ask for your help and I sure as hell don’t want it,” he said.
With an exasperated sigh, Lila headed for the door. “Fine by me. Stay in here for another few months.”
Let her go. Let her go. Let her go. His mind whirled with alternatives. He didn’t need her, did he? There had to be another way—someone else he could rely on. Maybe he could hire a nurse, but that was even less appealing than having Lila helping him.
“Double damn!” he whispered.
****
Lila’s patience thinned as she started for the door. As hard as it was, walking away was the best decision. Duke should bathe in his bitterness alone. His attitude stunk. How could she be so angry with him, and yet still care? Her emotions were on a roller coaster and she clung to hope.
Hope for what?
“On one condition.” Duke’s words reached her in the hallway and she stopped. Taking a deep breath, she stepped back into his room.
“Did you say something?”
His growl bounced off the walls. “You heard,” he said.
“Okay, Duke. You have your conditions and so do I. I’m not even sure I want to help you any longer, not if you’re going to take your bad attitude out on me.”
One brow flipped up. “If you can’t take the heat, well, you know what they say.”
“Have you forgotten? I not only can take the heat, but I can make a seven-course meal with it. Even late at night, when we’re both exhausted.” His jaw clicked and she saw a flicker of desire. The hidden meaning to her words hit home. The nights they’d shared in bed, eating midnight dinners followed by passionate lovemaking could never be forgotten.
Running his hand through his hair, he sent the dark mass into silken waves. “Yeah, I bet Lucas likes your signature dish.”
Snap. Every ounce of oxygen vanished from the room. She clenched her hands into fists. “Jealousy doesn’t suit you.” He laughed, and heaven help her, the sound was nice. “Let’s get to this one stipulation of yours. I do have a life besides coaxing a bear out of his cave.”
“If I agree into moving into the McAllister, then you must decide to go on with your life as it was before I woke up.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious.” The heat of his stare made her quiver.
“And what life do you think I had?” she asked.
“I’m assuming one that included Lucas. No reason for any of that to change.”
Tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them back and wrapped her arms around her waist as breakfast threatened to find its way back up. “You have no wish to—”
“No. The only thing I want is to get my ass to the ranch and make it mine. What sort of relationship could I give you, or anyone, right now? Hell, I’m living in the past—literally.”
A pain coursed through her chest. “You have a daughter.” He didn’t answer. “Do you hear me? You have a child. We have a child together.”
“She’s not mine.” His words pierced the air. “She’s yours. All that I can do for her is make her cry with these ugly scars.” He swept a hand over his cheek.
Tears fell to her cheeks and as quickly as she wiped them more took their place. “You’re a cold-hearted man, Duke McGraw. How could I have been so stupid believing you were a man worthy of marriage?” She clenched her teeth, cutting off another round of bitter words.
He turned his chin, his cool gaze found hers. His eyes lacked any kindness or compassion when he said, “I guess I am heartless. And whether you agree with me or not, we can’t walk into that house pretending things are the way they were between us. I need space to find myself again.”
She could understand. In all honesty, she wasn’t the woman she once was. He’d known her as the good-time, free spirit and now she had become a grounded, responsible mother. She knew when to fight and when to let go—and now was the time to back off, at least a little. He wanted space; she’d give it to him. Forcing back the last remnants of tears, she straightened her spine. “Agreed. I will go on living as I did before. As for the McAllister, Ava and I will stay only as long as it takes for you to gain your strength. Not one day later. After that, you will have to decide what kind of father you are.”
CHAPTER SIX
LILA HELD THE large ceramic bowl in the crook of her arm as she beat the brownie batter with an intensity stemming from inner turmoil. Two days had passed since she’d brought Duke back to the McAllister. He’d sank deeper into his depression, wallowing in anger and self-pity. To a certain point, she understood his trauma. On the other hand, her acceptance was thinning. She couldn’t treat him like any other difficult patient. Loving him made this personal.
She reminded herself he could recuperate and still not be the man she fell in love with.
If only she could close her heart from emotion, but denying love would be similar to rejecting the need to breathe. Caring for Duke and breathing sustained her body, they came naturally. Yet, her love for Ava outweighed everything, and if he chose to shun their daughter, Lila would find a way, no matter how hard, to cut the ties.
Giving him time to come to terms with reality was important. How much time, she wasn’t sure. He’d closed himself off in an upstairs guest bedroom, not leaving his bubble of misery. He hadn’t been out on the ranch and she’d thought he would have been anxious in trying to work his
hands in something he’d loved. The few times she’d seen him, to take him his meals or try to talk to him, he’d refused to look at her, keeping his gaze on the wall or window. L
ila had called Dr. Scott with worry, but the woman had told her that his behavior wasn’t uncommon and Lila should remain strong.
Lila blew a tendril of hair as it escaped her ponytail. She wished she could blow Duke’s attitude off as well; however, while he remained a beast, she’d continue to busy herself creating new recipes. The kitchen was like having an adult playground with all shiny, modern appliances and mysterious gadgets. How ironic that Carly had built a chef’s dream kitchen when she’d lived here at the McAllister. Carly hated cooking and had only used the space for two things; the wine rack, which covered one wall, still stocked with expensive bottles, and the spacious cabinets she’d filled with jars of peach jam made with fruit from the grove. There were still a few containers remaining, but Lila had moved most of them into the pantry. When peaches were in season, Lila could go down and pick a basket full of the fresh fruit to make cobblers, pies, sauces, or whatever else she had a desire to create.
She loved this ranch.
Lila glanced out of the window and watched deer grazing along the edge of the woods. Birds sat on a limb of the old oak tree, singing a joyful tune. In the distance, she saw horses galloping along the wooden fence. A few months back, Lila had one of the ranch hands erect a play set and sand box for Ava.
Sadness washed over Lila.
She’d enjoyed living here, although once upon a time she’d never wanted to leave the city. She’d like the fast-paced lifestyle of nice restaurants, entertainment and the close proximity to the hospital. Duke had been her complete opposite. She couldn’t see him living anywhere but on a ranch. He was a country man, born and bred. He loved getting his hands dirty. As different as they were, they’d complimented each other.
Love can certainly change a person’s priorities.
Disappointment churned her stomach. She’d have to consider relocating back into San Antonio or take Carly up on her offer of moving into the small guest cottage at the Swift Wind. Lila could see her and Ava living in the house built away from the main house. Deer roamed every field. Birds sang in every tree. Swings could be built on any plot of land. Yet, she’d grown to consider the McAllister her home.
Second Ride Cowboy (Second Chance Series) Page 4
