Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns)

by Monica Alexander

  I sighed. “He looked like Zack – amazing, hot. I don’t know. I just miss him, and looking at a recent picture of him smiling didn’t help matters.”

  “But he lied to you,” Chase said, cutting right to the point I didn’t want to think about.

  Rachel and I could be dreamy and hopeful about love, but Chase was a guy. He didn’t think that way. Facts were facts, and with Zack, he’d omitted something pretty big when he failed to tell me he had a kid. All summer I’d been under the impression I’d been getting to know him. He let me in little by little, and when I met his mom, I figured that was it. But now knowing that he didn’t share something so huge had me rethinking everything between us.

  He dumped you. What does it matter?

  I wanted to pinch the little voice in my head for reminding me of that key fact, but a part of me was deeply hopeful that Zack would realize his mistake and come back. It was a stupid notion, I know, but I was holding onto it in vain.

  “Maybe he’s not really involved in Lily’s life,” Rachel suggested. “I mean you’ve been watching Lily for over a year, and you’ve never heard Jen mention Zack before.”

  I shrugged. “You know, I don’t think she ever mentioned him but then again, if she had, why would I have cared. I probably wouldn’t have paid it any attention. He was just some guy. He wouldn’t have been significant to me back then.”

  “True,” Rachel said. “But, you were with him for six weeks this summer, and not once did he leave the island, right? If he was involved in Lily’s life, he probably would have seen her – he would have come here or she would have gone there at some point during that time.”

  I shook my head, having already thought of that while I was up half the night stewing over the news. “Jen and Lily were on the West Coast with her parents all summer. I don’t know. Maybe he wasn’t all that involved, but that picture was recent, which means even if he wasn’t in her life before, he is now.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  I felt my shoulders slump. “Be miserable about it and wallow. I’m not sure there’s much else I can do at this point. Zack failed to tell me something huge, which can only mean that he was under the impression that we were just casual, and I have to be okay with that.”

  “He failed to tell you two things,” Chase chimed in.

  Both Rachel and I turned to stare at him, waiting for him to finish the open-ended statement he’d left hanging in the air.

  “He didn’t tell you he was in Liar’s Edge either,” Chase said. “Rachel pulled that out of him.”

  “That’s right!” Rachel said, the volume of her voice rising.

  “Yeah, that is right,” I said miserably.

  I really just needed to get over him already.

  ***

  Monday night after our chapter meeting, Taryn and I walked from the house to the library. We were meeting Noah and Shelby to work on our Mass Comm project, and I was dreading it. Ever since Shelby had dismissed me and walked out of the library a month earlier, things between us had been awkward and strained. I was glad the project was winding down. We presented in a few weeks, so I only had to endure a few more uncomfortable group meetings.

  “I slept with Noah this weekend,” Taryn blurted out, and I did a spit-take on my vanilla latte before I stopped short in the middle of campus.

  “Excuse me?” I wheezed, as I tried to clear the coffee from my windpipe. I coughed a few times as she turned around to face me and walked the five feet back to me after she realized I’d stopped short.

  “I slept with Noah. We were both drunk, he was all bummed about his shoulder and football, it might have been a mercy-fuck, whatever, but it happened, and I’m really not looking forward to seeing him.”

  She was completely calm about this, as if she was telling me she’d happened to run into him at a party.

  “Have you talked to him since?”

  Noah was Ben’s roommate, and they lived in the same apartment complex as Taryn.

  She shook her head. “No, I got up before he did the next morning and did the walk of shame back to my apartment. Then I strategically avoided going outside yesterday, which was probably just as well because I was outlandishly hung over. I spent the day on the couch watching SNL reruns.”

  “Geez, Taryn,” I said, knowing these group meetings were just going to be that much more awkward now, but not only that, I was pretty sure Noah was dating one of our sorority sisters. “Isn’t he seeing Marnie?”

  She shrugged. “I guess, but I don’t think they’re serious. Come on, we’re going to be late.”

  “You’re being really flippant about this,” I said, as we started to walk again.

  “It’s just sex, Em. I know you’ve always been a good girl, but sometimes it’s fun to cut loose and sleep with a guy with no consequences. You should try it.”

  “I have tried it,” I mumbled, my mood declining as I thought back to Zack and the mistakes I’d make with him over the summer. Taryn didn’t know the half of it, but I wasn’t ready to share what I’d learned over the weekend with her.

  She put her arm around me and pulled me close. “Aww, sweetie, that’s cute, but what you had with that guy you dated this summer wasn’t casual. You don’t fall in love with someone you’re casually fucking.”

  “Are you going to continue casually sleeping with Noah?” I asked. I couldn’t bring myself to be as brash about it as her.

  She shrugged. “Probably not. Oh great, there he is. I should go talk to him.”

  Noah was sitting on the wall outside the library waiting for us. He looked up when he heard Taryn approaching him. I decided to let them be and headed up to the room we always used on the top floor.

  When I walked in, the room was dark and empty, so I turned on the light and started to unload my research from my bag. I’d just sat down to start reading an article that I’d printed when Shelby stormed into the room. She slung her bag on the table and slumped down in the chair across from me, folding her arms across her chest.

  I watched her appraisingly, wondering what was wrong. She wasn’t usually so violent.

  “Everything okay, Shelby?” I asked her.

  “I’m fine,” she said as she swiped at her eyes. I realized she was crying.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” she said definitively, but then her face crumbled and she started sobbing.

  I instinctively moved over next to her and pulled her into my arms. I couldn’t help it. She looked so sad and defeated, and she looked like she needed a friend. I knew she wasn’t in her right mind when she started crying against my shoulder.

  After a few minutes, she pulled away from me and wiped her hands over her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.

  “No, it’s fine,” I said. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she insisted.

  “Shelby, you can talk to me. I’m actually a good listener.”

  She looked up at me warily. “Why do you care? Why do you keep being nice to me?”

  I smiled. “Because I’m a nice person,” I said. “I know you might not see it, but I really am. I’m sorry I was a bitch to you, but I don’t have any hidden motivations. I think you’re really smart, and I’d like for us to be friends.”

  She sighed, long and loud, as if debating whether or not she wanted to let me in. Of course to do that, she’d also have to let go of the angst she felt for me, so I guess it was a toss-up.

  “My boyfriend broke up with me,” she finally said, and my heart went out to her. I knew exactly how she was feeling.

  She started to tell me about how they’d dated for a year, and everything had been good until about a month ago when he’d started to get distant. He’d started making more plans with his friends, and then earlier that day, he’d ended things.

  “You probably have no idea what this feels like,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve seen you with your boyfriend on campus a few times.”

  I laughed a tight, non-humorous laugh. “Uh,
you couldn’t be more wrong.”

  She looked up at me in question, so I told her about Zack. It was strange, I didn’t even know this girl, but I felt more comfortable opening up to her than I had to some of my friends. I told her things that no one but Rachel knew, and she listened in empathy the whole time.

  “Then, to make matters worse, I found out this weekend that he has a kid, and he never told me about her,” I said, punctuating the end of my story with a bang. I still hadn’t wrapped my head around that bombshell and knew it would take a while for the reality of it to sink in.

  Shelby’s jaw dropped. “No shit!”

  I nodded.

  “Wow, and I thought my story was bad,” she said, shaking her head.

  “You’re telling me. And I didn’t even hear it from him. I heard it from his daughter’s mother, who is my neighbor. I’ve been babysitting for his daughter for over a year.”

  “That is fucked up,” she hissed, shaking her head. “What an asshole.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, he’s an asshole, alright.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Zack

  “Hey, baby girl,” I said, scooping Lily off the floor where she’d been playing. “You ready for some lunch?”

  “Wunch,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me.

  I inhaled her sweet baby scent and kissed the top of her head a few times, making her giggle. “I think Mommy’s making hot dogs. How does that sound?”

  “Hot dogs,” she said, nodding her head vigorously as we met Jen in the kitchen. “Yummy!”

  “I like hot dogs too,” I said, as I set her in her highchair and fastened the straps.

  I’d come over to hang out with Lily a few hours earlier and hadn’t been able to leave. It had been so long since I’d got to spend any length of time with her that I hated to go. And living so close, I didn’t have to worry about a long drive home. I could hang out with my girl as long as I wanted, or as long as I could without smothering Jen.

  “Are you sure it’s cool if I stay a little longer?” I asked Jen, as I picked up the plate of cut up hot dogs and applesauce she’d made for Lily and set it on her tray.

  “Sure,” she said, waving off my concern. “I’ve gotten more done in the past three hours than I’ve gotten done all week. Stay as long as you want.”

  She smiled warmly at me and handed me a plate loaded with hot dogs before grabbing her own. We settled in at the table with Lily and looked like the quintessential little family that we sort of were as we dug into our lunch.

  It was still strange to me after almost two years that I’d had a kid with my ex. We had a child together. Lily was ours. But it was almost bittersweet. On the one hand, I wouldn’t trade Lily for the world, but inside, I felt guilty all the time. We would never be a typical family. Jen and I would never be together, we would never live in the same house, and we would raise Lily separately.

  I’d been a child of divorce, so I knew what it was like to have your parents split down the middle. I hated that my daughter would have the same kind of life, and there wasn’t anything I could do to change that. I didn’t love Jen in that way, and I never would again. She didn’t love me. We both knew we were much better as friends.

  What was hard is that, although we had no official court papers, it was our mutual understanding that Lily would live with her mom. I could see her whenever I wanted, but Jen had custody for all intents and purposes. It worked for now, but what would happen when Jen eventually met someone and got married. Could I handle my daughter being raised by someone else? Living with someone else? If it ended up being Andrew, I’d probably be able to tolerate that better than some random guy, but I still wouldn’t like it. Would we end up drawing up papers to share our kid, and would I be relegated to seeing her on weekends while Andrew got to see her every day? I hated the thought of that.

  I’d already been separated from Lily enough over the past year, and it had been torture. I didn’t want to do it again, but would I really have a choice?

  I looked over at her, watching her pick up pieces of her hot dog with her chubby fingers and put them in her little bow of a mouth. She’d chew, swallow and then she’d smile at me as if she loved that I was watching her. That smile nearly bowled me over each time she flashed it, and I knew now that I was living so close to her that I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  “You’re not eating,” Jen said, pulling me away from my thoughts.

  I looked back at her and took a bite of one of my hot dogs. She’d given me three, plus a mound of chips and applesauce. I knew she was still worried I wasn’t eating enough. My mother would be glad she was looking out for me.

  “Sorry, she’s sort of distracting,” I said, and Jen rolled her eyes.

  “You should have been here when she woke up at three o’clock this morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep. It was so adorable,” she said sarcastically.

  I looked over at Lily and feigned surprise. “Lily, did you wake Mommy up early today?”

  She just grinned at me and took a bite of her applesauce. I had to laugh.

  “Next time call me,” I said to Jen. “I’ll come over and take her, so you can sleep.” I honestly felt like I owed her, having been absent as much as I had. “Do you want me to take her next weekend?”

  Jen raised her eyebrows. “Like all weekend?”

  I could see the appeal in her expression, so I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll get everything set up, so she can stay with me at Leo’s. I’ve got the pack-n-play and her toys from my mom’s house, and I can buy anything else she might need.”

  “Will Leo be okay with that?” she asked, and I could see the underlying questions in her mind.

  “He knows my situation, Jen. And he’s not Derrick. He and Kristin are practically living together, and trust me they aren’t all that exciting. Lily and I won’t be cramping their style in the least.”

  “Okay,” Jen said hesitantly.

  It was the first time she’d left Lily alone overnight in a while. I could tell she was freaking out just a bit.

  “Lily, do you want to stay at Daddy’s house next weekend?” I asked, and her face perked up in excitement. I wasn’t sure if she truly understood what I was asking, but she could hear the excitement in my voice and was mimicking it.

  “Daddy pay?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.

  I laughed. “Sure, Daddy will play his guitar for you.”

  She shook her head and scrunched up her face. “No, Daddy pay now,” she insisted.

  “I will, but only after you eat your lunch,” I said, gesturing to the few bites of hot dog still on her plate. I’d been playing my guitar and singing to Lily since she was a baby. She loved to dance and recently had tried to sing along with the words, but it wasn’t working so well for her just yet.

  “Okay,” she said, and then asked. “tay swif?”

  I looked to Jen because I wasn’t sure what she was saying, but Jen was covering her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggles.

  “What?” I asked, looking from her to Lily who had started to mirror her mother’s laughter.

  “Tay swif,” she said again, clapping her little hands.

  “She wants you to play something by Taylor Swift,” Jen said, covering her mouth again as she laughed. “Do you know any of her stuff?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “I’m not,” Jen said, barely able to get the words out, tears were starting to stream down her face she was laughing so hard. “If you don’t know any, you might want to learn some, because your daughter is a huge fan.”

  “You can’t be serious. Who the hell has been playing Taylor Swift around her?”

  “Not me,” Jen said, loving how rocked I was by this revelation.

  I’d very intentionally only played specific songs by The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, and other like bands around Lily. I was trying my hardest to cultivate in her a love and appreciation of rock and roll, so I was extremely car
eful about what I exposed her to. I didn’t play pop music for her, ever.

  “It’s her babysitter,” Jen said then. “Lily loves it, so they dance around to her songs.”

  “Unbelievable,” I muttered, questioning the sanity of the person Jen was entrusting with our daughter.

  Jen put her hand on top of mine in an effort to pull me back down to earth. “Zack, she’s twenty-one months old. What she likes today will not follow her throughout her life, trust me. Now when she hits thirteen and has questionable tastes in music, you have every right to be upset, but for now, I wouldn’t worry. It makes her happy.”

  “You really like Taylor Swift?” I asked Lily.

  She nodded vigorously. “Tay Swif, Daddy. Pay. Pwease.”

  Shit, now I had to learn some of her music. I couldn’t say no to a request like that.

  “Okay, baby girl,” I said begrudgingly. “I’ll play Taylor Swift for you. Any particular songs?” I turned to face Jen.

  “I’ll find out her favorites,” Jen promised, eyeing me with a little too much satisfaction for my taste.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Emily

  Sunday night I was at home finishing my homework and wanting to get out of my apartment. I’d forced myself to study most of the day to keep my mind from drifting to dark-haired guys who’d lied to me and broken my heart, and my brain was fried from trying to keep it focused. Ever since I’d learned about Zack being Lily’s father, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, and I didn’t like it. I wished he’d just stay out of my head.

  Desperately in need of a break and craving a caramel latte, I decided to take a walk up to the Starbucks near our apartment with Bailey. He’d been hanging out by my door for the past hour, after Rachel had left for her study group, so I knew he wanted to go out. I’d become a bit of a regular at the Starbucks and usually brought Bailey when I went so he could get out of the apartment. We did the same walk on a pretty regular basis, and he’d grown accustomed to it. I could tell he got excited when I started to put my shoes on and asked if he wanted to go to Starbucks, as if he actually understood that the word ‘Starbucks’ equaled a walk.