“Then maybe you should talk to him,” Rachel said slowly, intentionally. “Or Jen. She could answer your questions. He obviously had a good reason for not telling you about Lily. You should hear what it is first before you write him off. I’m just saying.”
“Rachel, as much as I would love to know where Zack’s head was at this summer, I am not involving Jen. Pick a different plan.”
“Okay, fine,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Do you know what kind of car he drives?”
“He drives a Harley. What does that have to do with anything?”
“We could figure out where he lives. You know, look for his bike outside his house,” she said. “Then, all you have to do is knock on the door, punch that Kristin girl in the face and talk to him.” She spread her arms out as if presenting me with the perfect plan and smiled widely.
“I like the idea of punching Kristin,” I said, imagining my fist connecting with Snowboarding Barbie’s perfect face. “But isn’t it a little stalkerish to drive around looking for his house?”
She shrugged. “So what. We’ll take my car. No one will ever know it’s you.”
“Okay,” I said, not thinking it was a good idea, but it wasn’t like I could sit at home and listen to his CD over and over again, which I knew I would do if I went home at that moment. And the last thing I wanted was to stew about Zack and what his cryptic words had meant.
“Em, he took the time to record a CD for you, and it’s not like he just made an iTunes mix. Every song on that CD is him playing and singing. Do you know how much time that had to have taken him?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head.
“It took hours,” she said, matter-of-factly. “If he’s not into you, he’s got an extremely interesting way of showing you.”
“Maybe he just feels guilty for dumping me on my ass without another word.”
“Maybe so, but don’t you what to know so you can put all this behind you and move forward?”
More than anything, I thought, simply wanting to be happy again. It had been too long.
“Okay, let’s do it,” I said, spurred on by the fact that Zack might still have feelings for me, or at the very least, I’d get the closure I so desperately needed.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Zack
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” I said, shaking my head as I slumped down on the couch.
In the kitchen, Kristin was making me the only thing she knew how to cook; a cheese and refried bean quesadilla. Poor Leo would go hungry with her cooking skills, but at least she could make one thing really well.
“You were thinking that you wanted to make a bold statement and surprise her,” Kristin said from the stove.
“I was thinking I’m a fucking idiot,” I said, letting my head fall into my hands.
I had followed Kristin to her former sorority’s fundraiser, because I literally had nothing better to do. Liar’s Edge had our first gig the next night, and my pent up nervous energy had been eating me alive all day. Ever since seeing Emily the week before, I’d done nothing but think about her. Between that and the gig, I’d been in danger of losing it. I’d even made Emily that stupid CD, keeping it in my truck, hoping I might run into her at some point. I was pathetic, so I decided to go out with Kristin to see if I could get out of my head for a while.
Then I found out that the sorority Kristin had been in when she’d been at Duke was the same sorority Emily is in at UNC. How did I know this? Well, I walked into the club and the first thing I saw was Emily dressed in a ridiculously sexy costume, kissing some guy dressed like Bon Jovi. I assumed it’s her ex-boyfriend Ben, the guy she cheated on when she hooked up with me over the summer, who Jen said she was seeing again. But then I heard her friend Rachel call him Vincent, and I realized that she was making out with someone else, who wasn’t Ben, and I felt an overwhelming urge to punch the guy.
So I ducked out of the club and dragged Kristin with me before anyone could see us. Then I decided I needed to make a grand gesture. I know, I’m a fucking moron, and I’ve probably watched too many reruns of Friends with Kristin, because I unabashedly thought this is a good idea. I figured I’d get as close to the stage as possible in an effort to make my presence known, so Emily couldn’t help but see me, and then wait after to talk to her.
It turns out that was not a good idea.
Emily did not look happy to see me. She looked stunned, and then she looked pissed. I realized fairly quickly that it was because I’d put my arm around Kristin to pull her over to where I was standing in the crowd. I realized too late that it probably looked to Emily like Kristin and I were actually a couple, and I was throwing Kristin in her face. So I dropped my arm and watched the whole performance, mesmerized by Emily up on stage. Then I saw the same guy she’d been kissing before the show, grab her and swing her around. She’d looked really happy when she did that, so I decided to just put the CD on her car. Then I’d bolted.
And now I’d like to accept the award for being the biggest, fucking pussy on the planet.
“Well, now what do you want to do?” Kristin asked, as she transferred my quesadilla to a plate, added a liberal amount of salsa and sour cream and brought it over to me.
“Fuck if I know,” I said, shaking my head and taking bite of food.
Kristin stared at me for a few moments, watching me chew as she took a sip of her Diet Coke.
“What?” I asked around a mouthful of cheese and salsa.
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” she asked me.
I shot her a look. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I guess I’ll go to Jen’s.”
Kristin shook her head. “Jen’s going home with Andrew.”
“Are you serious?” I snapped in surprise. “She didn’t tell me that. When was she going to tell me?”
“I don’t know,” Kristin said timidly, shrinking back into the couch.
I think she suddenly realized she was in the crossfire of an issue between Jen and me that she didn’t know existed. I honestly didn’t know it existed until that moment, but as I thought about everything I was feeling, I suddenly felt hot all over.
“I mean, come on,” I said to Kristin. “I get that I was out of the picture for a while, and Jen could make a lot of decisions on her own, but I’m living here now, and Lily is my daughter, not Andrew’s. I can’t believe he and Jen just planned to take her to Virginia for the long weekend and not tell me. I spent last Thanksgiving with them. What the hell?!”
Kristin threw her hands up. “I don’t know, Zack. She just mentioned it. I assumed you’d talked to her and agreed to it first. I’m sorry. But for the record, I don’t think Andrew is trying to be Lily’s dad. He’s not trying to take her from you.”
“I know,” I said, taking a few deep breaths to slow down my heart rate. I was well-aware that I sounded nuts, but this had been bothering me for a while.
Andrew was one of my best friends. I’d know him for six years, but ever since he and Jen had started dating over summer, the fact that he could have permanent access to Lily had gotten under my skin. I’d been especially pissed when he’d shown up at the hospital with Jen and Lily when my mom was sick – simply because he showed up with them, and that’s how I found out they were dating.
Jen hadn’t even told me before then, but they were apparently pretty serious by that point. What if they got married and moved away? What happened then?
Okay, that might be a little ridiculous in the short term, and my lack of solid sleep over the last week could have been clouding my judgment. Andrew and I were in the same band. In order to do that, we’d have to live in the same city. I didn’t think Andrew would be leaving Liar’s Edge anytime soon. He’d tried his hand at a solo career over the summer, which is why he’d been in L.A. in the first place, where he and Jen had started seeing each other. His solo career had been a bust, and he knew it, so he needed the band.
“Zack, if you’re upset, call Jen,�
�� Kristin suggested. “Let her know how you feel. She’s never done anything underhanded with Lily before, so why would she start now?”
She was right.
“Fine, I’ll call her. Why were you asking me about my Thanksgiving plans anyway?”
“Well,” Kristin said, “If you’re interested, I might be able to book you guys a show in Charlotte that weekend. I was talking to the manager of The Claws, and the band opening for them the Friday after Thanksgiving has been waffling about whether they’re going to play that night or not, so you might have an in. Ian and Todd have always liked you guys.”
Not only was Kristin dating Leo, but she was also our web designer and our booker/manager. We were starting out small, so we’d kept things in the family. Jen was handling our finances.
“Okay, I guess that’s fine. Whatever.” Ian and Todd were cool guys. We’d played with their band before. “We can just drive down for the show.”
Kristin shook her head. “Zack, you need sleep. You’re not getting it. Doesn’t Emily’s family live in Charlotte? And your dad lives in Charlotte. You could spend the weekend there, maybe invite Emily to the show, maybe talk to her afterward?”
Suddenly it was like a light bulb went off above my head. “You’re brilliant,” I said, getting up and tackling Kristin in a giant hug.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she grunted, returning the hug from underneath me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Emily
All day Monday I had the hardest time concentrating on anything but what had happened on Friday night and was rehashing everything again in my head at dinner that night when everyone was talking about what they’d done over the weekend. I hadn’t ended up going out at all. Instead, Rachel and I had continued our ‘let’s play spies and look for Zack’s motorcycle’ after our Friday night attempt had been unsuccessful. We’d driven through all of the townhouse neighborhoods in Chapel Hill but hadn’t seen his bike at any of them either night we’d been out. I had a sinking fear that he hadn’t been at home because he’d been out with Kristin, and my resolve had faded even more.
“He was so hot,” I heard Carrie Little say, as I drifted back to the conversation taking place around me. She was waxing on and on about some guy she’d met at the frat party some of the girls had gone to on Saturday night.
“He was really cute,” Cori said, hugging Carrie’s arm and echoing her excitement. “Even cuter than Clay!”
“I love older guys,” Marnie Lawson said dreamily.
“Since when have you dated an older guy?” Rachel asked, causing Marnie’s face to immediately cloud up. “Besides, last time I checked, you hadn’t dated anyone since you stole Alec from me last winter.”
“Hey, be nice,” I whispered to her.
She was my guest at the house that night, and I didn’t need any of her former sisters deciding she couldn’t stay. Almost everyone had continued to be friendly to her even though she’d left the house, but I knew she and Marnie had bad blood since Marnie had not so subtly swooped in and slept with Rachel’s sort of boyfriend, Alec Christiansen, after Winter Formal last year. I really thought Rachel would be over it now that she was in love with Chase, but it seemed old hatred died hard.
“For your information I’m dating Noah Gillian,” Marnie said haughtily.
“I think you’re just sleeping with him,” Taryn cut in, and I knew she was siding with Rachel, but I also knew she’d hooked up with Noah a few times since the first time they’d slept together, so she probably had more authority on the state of his relationship with Marnie than anyone else.
Hearing this, Rachel burst out laughing, unable to hold back.
Marnie just glared at Taryn and turned her attention back to Rachel. “What are you even doing here, Rachel?” she snapped. “Didn’t you quit the house so you could hang out with your new loser NYU boyfriend, get piercings and tattoos, and get stoned all the time.”
I felt the stab of a protective vibe as she said that, and I wondered how on earth Marnie knew so much about Chase. I swallowed hard when I thought about who Marnie was sleeping with. Noah. Ben was his roommate. I knew in that instant that he’d been talking shit about my brother, and I saw red. Regardless of his recreational habits, Chase was my family, and it was my job to stick up for him. I opened my mouth to say something, hoping it would be witty, but Rachel beat me to the punch.
“Seriously?!” Rachel hissed at Marnie. “You have the nerve to talk about someone you don’t even know and accuse him of being a stoner when I saw you do a line of coke two weeks ago at the Pi Kapp party right before you gave Thomas Reed a blow job in the game room?! Unbelievable.”
Thankfully she said that in a hushed whisper, because doing coke was definitely grounds for expulsion from Gamma Pi. I disliked Marnie, but I’d never wish that on her. Her choices were her own, and if she wanted to be a coke-whore, that was her decision. I was more shocked that she had been so flagrant about her oral talents with Thomas, especially when she was supposedly dating Noah. Maybe Taryn was right, and they were just sleeping together.
All around us, mouths were falling open. Rachel sat back with a satisfied look on her face and popped a French fry into her mouth, as she watched Marnie turn red, get up and stalk away from the table. I thought she was enjoying Marnie’s humiliation just a little too much, but then again, Marnie had been pretty cruel to Rachel over the years. Her jab at Chase hadn’t been justified. She probably deserved what Rachel threw at her.
“Nobody messes with my man,” Rachel said, and I had to laugh.
“So who is this guy you all are talking about,” I asked, in an effort to break the silence that had fallen over us after Rachel’s lashing of Marnie.
“He’s the lead singer of the band that played at SAE on Saturday night,” Taryn explained. “He was really hot in that rock star kind of way, like you’d totally let him eat melted chocolate out of your belly button. I completely would have talked to him, but the guys left after they finished playing.”
I had to laugh at Taryn’s brazen comment. I loved that she didn’t hold back.
“Musicians are so hot,” I said, thinking of Zack as I imagined him eating melted chocolate out of my bellybutton. It was too good of a fantasy to ignore. “If you see him again, Taryn, you should totally talk to him.”
“Oh, I’ll do more than that,” she said, and I could see the devilish glint in her eyes.
If I saw Zack again, I would definitely talk to him – or maybe more than that, depending on how drunk I was. Okay, no, that wasn’t true. I would just talk to him, nothing more.
After thinking about him way too much over the weekend, I knew I wanted nothing more than to see him again and finally clear the air. Girlfriend or not, kid or not, we needed to figure some things out, especially if he was going to do incredibly romantic things like putting homemade CDs on my car and then run away without speaking to me. None of it made sense.
“He had these amazing eyes,” Cori said, looking dreamy again. “And his hair had this sexy way of falling in his eyes while he played. He was all dark and dangerous looking, but he talked in this adorable southern accent, which was a total contradiction to his looks. God, he was seriously yummy. And to top it all off, the boy could sing.”
My head snapped up from my salad at her description. Under the table, Rachel kicked my leg. Maybe I was imagining things, but it sounded like they were talking about Zack. Cori had just described him perfectly.
“The band was really good,” Carrie added. “They did a lot of covers, but they played some of their own stuff too. Oh my God, they did this amazing cover of Use Somebody by Kings of Leon. They were really good. I bought their CD.”
I felt the lump that had formed in my throat rise up, so I swallowed it back.
“What was the name of the band?” I asked Carrie, realizing I sounded hoarse all of a sudden.
“Um, I can’t remember,” she said, looking at Taryn for help.
“Something Edge,” Taryn said. “Oh, crap,
it was right on the drum set.”
“Liar’s Edge,” I said, knowing I was right, knowing that it was Zack, and that he’d gotten back together with his band. I knew it before Taryn confirmed it for me.
“Yeah, that’s it!” Taryn said, pointing at me. “How did you know? Have you heard of them?”
I nodded. “Um, yeah, I heard some of their stuff over the summer,” I mumbled, getting to my feet. I’m sure I received confused looks from my friends, but I didn’t care.
Rachel was right behind me, as I made my way outside. It was freezing, but I needed fresh air. As soon as I was outside, I bent over, put my hands on my knees and took a few big gulps of cold air. I felt Rachel’s hand on my back.
“He was at the frat party, Rach,” I said, through shallow breaths, suddenly fearful the small amount of food I’d eaten would come up at any moment. “He was there, and I didn’t get to see him, because I didn’t go out, because I was driving around looking for him. Is that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard?”
“Not the most ridiculous thing,” Rachel said, in an effort to make me feel better.
I stood up, shaking my hands out. “Okay. Okay. Now what? What do we do now?”
I instinctively reached for my pack of cigarettes and lit one, feeling a few notches calmer once I’d inhaled a few times. So much for fresh air doing the trick.
“Well, we could see if the band has any gigs booked, and then go see them,” she suggested.
“Oh, my God, you’re a genius,” I shrieked, throwing my arms around Rachel’s neck, knocking her back slightly. I pulled back. “You are an absolute genius, Rachel Reynolds! I love you!”
“Hey, I do what I can,” she said, pulling her iPhone out of her pocket.
I bounced up and down slightly, watching her phone like a hawk, as she pulled up the Internet, inhaling like a fiend on my cigarette.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 46
