“What are you doing?” I asked, just because I felt like I needed to say something.
“I’m going to their website to see if they updated it with the dates of their shows.”
I nodded. “Liar’s Edge.com.” I continued bouncing and inhaling.
I silently cursed myself for not looking at their website in the past few weeks. I’d forced myself to quit cyber-stalking Zack at the beginning of November. Had I looked, I would have seen that the band was back together.
“Yes, I’m well aware of the website of a band I was obsessed with for over a year. What does Liar’s Edge mean, anyway? Did Zack ever tell you?” she asked, her eyes on her phone, and I knew she’d asked just so she could distract me, but it worked. The name pretty much meant what it sounded like.
“He said it’s that point in which you realize you can lie or tell the truth. Everyone has those moments, and it’s up to you to choose your path.”
“Ah, sounds like Zack was on that edge this summer and chose to lie. Not a smart move, Zacky,” Rachel said, and I’m not sure she realized how the words she was mumbling affected me, because she didn’t look up to see how my face had fallen. “Okay, here it is.”
I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth and moved around, so I was standing next to her. We huddled together to see the tiny screen. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw the updated picture of the band on the front of the website. Zack was front and center, not smiling and looking beyond incredible. I couldn’t believe they’d actually gotten back together. He’d been adamant the day Rachel and I had found out about the band that as much as Leo and Derrick wanted to start things up again, he definitely wasn’t interested. I wondered what had changed.
Rachel scrolled down and clicked on the link that said, ‘Upcoming Shows’. I waited in both trepidation and excitement as the page loaded.
“Oh wow,” she said. “They don’t have any shows booked until December 9th. That’s like two weeks away. They’re playing at Devil’s Hangout.”
My heart sank as soon as she said that. All hopes I had of seeing Zack flitted out the window, unless I was lucky enough to run into him at home, but that just had disaster spelled all over it. How ironic it was that I’d feared that just the week before. My emotions were so up and down. Now, I was hoping to run into him, or maybe not if he was with Snowboarding Barbie. If he was with her, I’d just as soon turn the other way, but if I got him alone . . . I pushed the thought from my mind, too nervous to consider what that would mean.
It could be good, but it could also be really bad. He hadn’t stuck around to the end of the fundraiser to talk to me. If he wanted to see me, he would have waited. No, there had to be more to it than that. There had to be. He’d made me that damn CD. That had to mean something.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Emily
“I’m coming over,” Rachel said, when my phone rang the following Friday evening. “No more moping. I’m cutting you off.”
“No, Rach, you can’t come over. I have plans with Ben, and Chase isn’t home.”
I was lying in bed at home in Charlotte, sadly listening to the CD Zack had made me and feeling rather down – pretty much how I’d been for the past week. I didn’t feel like moving until I had to, which was in an hour when Ben would be picking me up to go to the movies. I was hoping some light comedy would pull me out of my desolate mindset for at least a little while.
“Cancel your plans with D-Bag Ben,” she said. “I’m your best friend. I’m more important.”
“Since when do you refer to Ben as a d-bag?” I asked, rather offended that she’d picked up Chase’s annoying nickname for Ben. She and Ben used to be friends, but it seemed my brother’s opinions of him had worn off on her.
“Sorry,” she said, and I knew she realized her slip up. “I just don’t like the way he treated you this summer when you broke up with him. You might be able to forgive him for calling you a cheap whore, but I can’t. I love you too much.”
Well, at least her insult came from a good place. Ben had called me a whore. Why had I been so quick to forgive that?
“I’ll have Chase call you when he gets home from wherever he is,” I said, wanting to cut our conversation short. I didn’t want to dwell on my mistakes in the guy department. They’d added up over the past few months. “But I’m not going out with you.”
“Chase is with me. I don’t need him to call me, but I need you to get off your ass and come out with us.”
Big surprise, I thought. Chase hadn’t been separated from Rachel for more than a few hours at a time since we’d all gotten home on Wednesday. He’d even gone over to her house after Thanksgiving dinner to have dessert with her family.
“Hey Em,” I heard Chase say through the phone. “We’re coming to get you. Get dressed.”
“Yes, get dressed,” Rachel ordered. “Wear something hot and sexy. Wait, scratch that. I’m dressing you. I’ll bring clothes over.”
“I’ll dress her,” Keely said from behind me, making me jump. I hadn’t heard my sister come into my room. She suddenly grabbed my phone and put it on speaker. “You said hot and sexy, Rach?”
“Hey Keels!” Rachel squealed, excited to have another partner in her attempts to get me to ditch Ben for beers with her and Chase.
“What are we thinking?” Keely asked, talking my phone into my walk-in closet with her. She started thumbing through my hanging clothes. “Dress? Jeans? Leather skirt?”
“Give me that!” I said, grabbing my skirt out of her hands. I’d brought it home to stow in my closet with all the other clothes I didn’t wear anymore. I could barely stand to look at it. I quickly dropped it on the bed, afraid holding it too long might burn me.
“Leather skirt!” Rachel cheered as she cast her vote. “Yes, and those black ‘fuck me’ boots she bought a few weeks ago. Did she bring those home with her?”
I loved how they were talking about me as if I wasn’t there.
“Got ‘em,” Keely said, pulling my black riding boots out of my closet and tossing them carelessly toward my bed. They weren’t the ones that Rachel was referring to. Those were in my closet in Chapel Hill. I hadn’t really seen a need to bring them home with me for Thanksgiving break, seeing as I didn’t plan on going anywhere where they’d serve as appropriate attire.
“Hey, go easy on my stuff,” I said, yanking my boots up from the floor and setting them on my bed. “These were expensive.”
“Now we need a top,” Rachel said, as she and Keely ignored me.
“Black turtleneck sweater?” Keely asked, as she started rifling through my folded sweaters.
“No, too conservative.”
“Black deep v-neck sweater?” Keely suggested.
“Perfect!” Rachel cheered. “I’ll bring over my black leather, studded choker, and she can wear that with it.”
“Enough!” I shouted, grabbing my phone away from Keely. “I am not your goddam Barbie doll – either of you!”
I shot Keely an angry look before turning my attention back to my best friend who I was suddenly very annoyed with. She couldn’t just leave well-enough alone.
“Rachel!” I said, finally able to get a word in. Keely stood in the entrance to my closet, wordlessly watching me, still holding my black sweater in her hands. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I’m going out with Ben, and I am most definitely not wearing that leather skirt.”
I grabbed the skirt and threw it in the closet just to prove my point.
“Cancel your plans,” Rachel said, loud and clear. “Liar’s Edge is playing tonight, and we’re going, and you are definitely wearing that skirt.”
“What?!” I said, nearly dropping my phone. “Are you serious?”
“Yup,” she said, and I could tell she was smiling. “So get your hot little ass into the one thing you know will drive Zack nuts, and go wait downstairs for us.”
“Are they playing in Charlotte? Or are we driving back to school early?” I asked, suddenly all about going out
with Rachel and Chase.
“They’re here in Charlotte. They’re playing at Static,” she said, and my stomach clenched at the thought of Zack being in my hometown, playing a show at a club I’d been seeing bands at since I was sixteen.
I swallowed hard. I could hear a car door opening and the telltale sound of Rachel’s Camaro starting up.
“It was an impromptu show,” she said. “I signed up for their email notifications and just saw the added show a few minutes ago.”
“Okay, I’m up. I’m getting dressed. I’ll be downstairs. Hand me those jeans, Keely,” I said, as my sister grinned and handed me a new pair of skinny jeans I’d gotten when Rachel and I had gone shopping.
“We’ll be there in ten minutes,” Rachel said. “Be outside. The show starts in thirty minutes!”
“Okay, okay. Bye!”
Oh, my God, oh, my God. I scrambled as quickly as I could to my dresser, grabbing a flowy gray t-shirt.
“I love that you’re going to see Zack and confront him and tell him off,” Keely said as she stood leaning against the door jam of my closet, watching me yank the shirt over my head.
I exchanged the jeans I was wearing for the ones she’d handed me and slid them on, rolling the bottoms up a few times.
“I’m not going to tell him off,” I said, glancing up at her. “Hand me my Docs, will you?”
I knew they wouldn’t provide the same visual impact as my new boots, but my cherry red Doc Martens were a splurge purchase I’d made when I’d been in New York with Chase and Rachel. They were completely fun, and I could play up the sexy rock star vibe in them.
“Why not?” Keely asked, dangling the boots in front of my face.
I grabbed them from her. “Because it won’t do any good. I’m going to talk to him and find out why things happened the way they did this summer. I’m just going to get some answers.”
“And to make him lust after you,” she said, eyeing my look as I tugged on the red boots so hard I thought they might tear, but thankfully they were made of good leather.
“We’ll see,” I said, doubtful he’d be lusting after me if Kristin was there. “Hand me my black leather jacket.”
She tossed me my black, distressed motorcycle jacket and I slid it on. I did a quick check of my make-up and put the black onyx stone I’d purchased a few days earlier in my nose and was ready to go in six minutes flat, which gave me time to add a little more make-up, making my eyes look smoky and sexy.
“How do I look,” I asked my sister.
“Smokin’ hot,” she said, grinning. “Your ass looks seriously amazing in those jeans.”
I couldn’t help smiling back. It was the look I’d been going for. “Do you want to come with us?” I asked.
“Nah,” she said, waving me off. “I’ve got a date with Callum Riley. But have fun. Tell Zack he’s an asshole for me.”
“Will do,” I said, as she sauntered back to her room to get ready for her date. “I thought you were dating Charlie Watts? Weren’t you going on and on about him at Thanksgiving dinner?”
Keely stopped, turned and grinned at me. “Come on, Em. You know I never just date one guy at a time.”
With that she winked at me and left me standing there hoping she was smart enough to make decisions that wouldn’t jeopardize her future. She was a smart girl, but sometimes she seemed really dumb, especially when it came to guys. I thought back to my sophomore year pregnancy scare and a chill ran through me. Then I thought of Lily and my blood ran cold.
“Keely,” I said, when I reached her doorway.
“Yeah,” she said, looking up from her phone where she was texting someone.
“You’re being safe right?”
She eyed me speculatively. “Um, with what?”
“Birth control, contraceptives,” I said, just putting it out there.
She laughed. “I’m on the pill,” she said, “but no guy’s getting in here.” She gestured below her waist. “Not yet anyway.”
I was floored. With the way she talked, I’d never have guessed that my sister was still a virgin.
“Well when you do. Be safe.”
She laughed. “Please. I’ve seen way too many episodes of Teen Mom. No way do I want kids now.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. My sister wasn’t so dumb after all.
As I stood in the front hall waiting for Rachel and Chase to pull up, my stomach churned in anticipation and excitement. I was minutes away from seeing Zack on stage, performing the songs he’d written. It had been two years since I’d seen him perform on stage, and back then he’d just been a cute, nameless guy. Now he was the guy I’d fallen for way too fast.
My phone rang suddenly, jarring me out of my thoughts, and I picked it up without looking at the caller ID, thinking it was Chase or Rachel.
“Where are you?” I asked. “I’m dying here.”
“I’m not picking you up for another forty minutes,” came Ben’s confused voice, and my heart sank. I’d completely forgotten to call and cancel my plans with him.
“Ben! Hey, sorry, I thought you were Rachel. She’s coming over.”
“Will she be gone by the time I get there?”
“Oh, shoot, I’m sorry babe,” I said, instantly regretting what I was about to do. “I can’t go out. Rachel and Chase had this huge fight, and she’s crying and really upset, and I really need to be there for her. You understand, right?”
“Um, well–”
“Thanks babe. You’re the best. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Tomorrow I’m going to my grandmother’s house.”
“Yeah, so what? Phone’s don’t work in Wilmington?”
“Well, yeah, but I’ll be with my family, so I won’t really be able to talk. I really wanted to see you tonight,” he whined, grating on my already rattled nerves.
“Ben, I’ll see you back at school. I’m sorry, but Rachel was there for me when I was having a tough time, so I need to be there for her now. You need to understand.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “Go be with Rachel. Tell her I hope she and Chase work everything out, even if she could do so much better than that loser.”
“Hey! That’s my brother. Back off,” I said sternly.
“Sorry, sorry. I forgot you guys are friends now. I still can’t get used to that.”
Outside I heard a horn honk.
“Oh, babe, Rachel’s here. I gotta go.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“Have a good night,” I said, not able to bring myself to say what he desperately wanted to hear – especially not since I knew where I was going and who I would be seeing.
I ended the call before Ben could say anything else, shoved my phone in the pocket of my jacket and raced outside.
“Oh, my God, I can’t do this,” I said, sliding into the backseat of Rachel’s car.
Chase was driving, so while he backed out, she turned around. “Yes, you can do this. Em, he wouldn’t just give you that CD to be nice. We’ve talked about this. He was sending you a message. Now it’s up to you to respond.”
I leaned my head back against the seat. “But why now?” I’d been fully prepared to see Zack on December 9th. I’d been working up to it, planning what I would say, but suddenly, I was faced with seeing him now, and I was terrified that regardless of what he’d done, he wouldn’t be interested in me – at least as more than a friend. “Do you really think he’s in love with me?”
Rachel stared intently at me. “Yes. I do.”
I breathed in and out steadily. “I hope your right, Rach.”
“She’s right,” Chase said from the front seat, and for some reason, hearing that from my serious, intelligent brother meant more to me than anything my best friend could have said to pacify me. Chase didn’t say things he didn’t mean.
My stomach was churning when we walked into the crowded club. I was shocked to find that Liar’s Edge had so many fans, especially since they’d just started playing again, and it was an impr
omptu show. Then I realized that Liar’s Edge was just the opening act for a band called The Claws who everyone else was apparently there to see.
I inadvertently grabbed Rachel’s hand, not sure what to do with myself. I was going to see Zack, my Zack in a few minutes. He was going to be singing, on stage, to roughly 100 people. It was too surreal.
Chase started to ply me with alcohol in an effort to help me calm down. I was three shots and two beers in when Liar’s Edge finally took the stage. I held my breath as Derrick, Leo and Andrew came out onto the stage, taking their places at their respective instruments. Zack came out last.
Even if I hadn’t felt every bit of emotion I’d felt for him that summer, I might have fallen head over heels for him in that instant. He looked more incredible than ever, the rugged rock star look working so well for him. He had on jeans, black combat boots and a gray t-shirt with ‘NEEDTOBREATHE’, on the front, and I kept thinking I couldn’t agree more. I was having trouble keeping my breathing steady with him so close to me. I knew Needtobreathe was a band he liked. He’d introduced me to their music over the summer, and I’d loved it, but I couldn’t help thinking the shirt had a double-meaning – at least for me.
Watching him take command of the stage and sling his guitar over his shoulder, it took my breath away, and I was suddenly aware of every other girl in the place who was staring at him in the same way.
I instantly looked around for Kristin and located her near the front of the stage wearing tight jeans that hugged her perfect figure and stiletto boots that went up over her knees – they were almost identical to the ones sitting in my closet in Chapel Hill that I wished I was wearing. She looked like a rock star’s girlfriend, and I hated her even more in that moment. She was standing with a girl with long brown hair who was model thin and dressed way too scantily for the temperature outside. I watched her blow a kiss to Derrick and realized she was with him, but what shocked me the most was that Jen stood on her other side.
I watched as Zack leaned down and high-fived her, and she smiled back up at him. I still couldn’t shake the fact that they’d dated and had a kid together. And they definitely seemed to get along. So much for the theory that they weren’t close.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 47
