Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns)

by Monica Alexander

  I watched a dark shadow cross his face as he mentioned his mom and could tell how hard it was for him to do that.

  “So, how are you?” he asked, changing the subject and taking a sip of his coffee.

  I wasn’t sure what to say. I was a little wound up to say the least. Emotions from both ends of the spectrum were running through me. On one hand, I wanted to scream at him, hit him and tell him that he’d hurt me like no one else ever had, so much so that I felt incomplete, still, months later. I wanted to tell him I hated him, that he was a liar, and I was over him and he could fuck off, but then I would see the dark shadows on his face and realize what he went through and how it still affected him. And all I’d want to do was forgive him, hug him, and tell him everything would be okay in time.

  “I’m great,” I lied, only because I didn’t want him to know how much his presence alone was affecting me. He had to think I was over him. “Things are going really well for me. I’ve never been better.”

  Lies, pure lies.

  “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it,” he said genuinely, and he seemed relieved, as if he’d been harboring a fear that I hadn’t gotten over what he’d done to me, which just made me feel that much shittier.

  “I’m so sorry about your mom,” I blurted out because I didn’t want to talk about me anymore, and I was afraid of him asking too many questions.

  He nodded. “Thanks.”

  I folded my hands around my coffee cup, gripping it tightly, as I stared across the space between us. Out of a need for something to do, I took a sip of my drink, surprised to find it was a vanilla latte – the same drink I’d ordered the first time we’d met. He remembered.

  “I liked the song,” I said then, since he wasn’t offering up any conversational gems. “The one about her.”

  He gave me a puzzled look, then it was as if he understood. “Without You.”

  “That’s the name of it?”

  He nodded.

  “It was really pretty.”

  “Thanks. I started writing again a few weeks after she passed. I had kind of a tough time, and my aunts wanted me to see a therapist, but that’s never really been my thing. It was just easier to put what I was feeling on paper. Without You was what I was feeling, so it’s what I wrote.”

  “That’s cool,” I said, thinking I sounded anything but cool.

  I wanted to take his hand and tell him that the song was amazing and he was an incredible songwriter and that I couldn’t wait to hear more of what he’d written, but I couldn’t do it. I was afraid to open myself up to him like that again. Regardless of the feelings I had, he’d burned me pretty bad, and I wasn’t sure I could put myself in a situation where I was vulnerable around him again.

  “So how’s school,” he asked, sealing the deal that we were having the single most awkward conversation we’d ever had. Could we get more generic with our questions? Would he comment on the weather next?

  I shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m starting to think about what I’m going to do after graduation.”

  “What are you considering?”

  “Entertainment PR. I’m thinking about moving to L.A.”

  I really wasn’t, but I suddenly felt the need to make a bold statement, and that’s what came out of my mouth. Cassie had been talking about L.A. the day before, so it was fresh on my mind, but I hadn’t considered it as a viable option. Now maybe it was. At least in L.A. I’d be clear across the country from Zack Easton, and maybe then I could finally get over him.

  Taryn was trying to convince me to move to Tampa with her. That’s where she was from and where she was going back to after graduation. I was considering it since it would be something new and a little closer to home. There was also the prospect of New York. Rachel still hoped I would move with her. It seemed like all of my friends knew where they were going after graduation. I was the only one who still didn’t have a clue.

  Zack smiled widely. “That’s great to hear, Em. L.A. is an awesome town.”

  Hearing him use my nickname bit into my heart, but at least he didn’t call me princess. But I knew he wouldn’t. It was too personal, and we weren’t at that stage anymore. Too much had come between us.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m excited about the next step. Ready to be in the real world. How about you?”

  He shrugged. “I’m going to do the music thing – see what happens with that.”

  Finally something substantial to talk about.

  “So tell me about the band,” I said. “When did that happen?”

  Zack leaned back in his chair and smiled, and a warm feeling washed over me. He always could take me down with just that grin.

  “Leo,” he said simply, as if that spoke volumes. “He sort of forced my hand, but it was what I needed. My mom told me not to give up on my music, so here I am.”

  “She would be happy you’re doing what you love,” I said, knowing it was true.

  “Yeah, I know. That’s ultimately why I agreed. Before she died, she gave me some pretty strong motherly advice, so I took it.”

  There was a lull in the conversation at that point, which never used to happen to us, ever. We didn’t have lulls. It made me realize how much things had changed in three months.

  “So thanks for the CD,” I said, bringing up one of the elephants in the room.

  I wondered if he’d bring up the others. This talk was not as productive as I’d hoped it would be. It seemed I was going to have to bring up the tough subjects if I wanted any sort of resolution.

  He just nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  I bit my lip, wishing he’d said more, like why he made it, why he left it and what his damn message at the end had meant.

  “I saw you in the audience at the Gamma Pi fundraiser,” I said when he didn’t expand on his acknowledgement of my thanks. “What were you doing there?”

  He smiled and took a sip of his drink. I wasn’t sure what he’d ordered, but my eyes fell to the side of his to-go cup where the barista had scrawled ‘Zack’. My eyes fixated on his name while I waited for his response.

  “Kristin, who you met,” he said, “was a Gamma Pi at Duke, so she wanted to show her support. I went with her.”

  Why? Because she’s your girlfriend? Because you wanted to see me? Did you know I would be there?

  So many questions I didn’t have the courage to ask.

  I fought the urge to narrow my eyes at the thought of his girlfriend and the smile on his face as he spoke of her, but it was hard to do with my eyes now resting on his kissable full lips that I’d had full range to just a few months earlier. Now Kristin got to kiss him, and I was stuck with an ache in my chest that wouldn’t seem to go away.

  No, I didn’t want that. He’d hurt me. End of story. I just needed closure.

  “Why didn’t you stick around? Say hello?” I asked, dragging my gaze to his light brown eyes, which didn’t make me feel much better. It seemed no matter where I looked, I was assaulted by all the things about him that I’d fallen for at first sight.

  Zack laughed a short, non-humorous laugh. “Ah, well, I was going to, but then I saw you kiss your boyfriend before you performed, and then he was hugging you afterward, so I figured I’d better not intrude. It was just easier to leave the CD on your car and call it a night.”

  Huh?

  I hadn’t kissed anyone before the show. Oh yeah. I’d kissed Vincent. Right. He saw that?!

  “Vincent’s not my boyfriend,” I said quickly, then wished I hadn’t.

  “Oh, you mentioned you had a boyfriend, so I assumed it was him. Sorry.”

  Zack looked flushed, and I was a caught liar.

  “I was just messing around with Vincent,” I said in a bad attempt to recover. “But I am sort of seeing Ben again. I guess I’m sort of seeing a few people right now.”

  Sure, I could pretend that was true.

  I half-expected him to make a snarky comment like, ‘Any interest in adding one more guy to the mix?’, but I knew he wouldn’t. The Zack I
’d first met, the one who’d shamelessly flirted with me and quirked cocky smiles at me would have, but this guy wouldn’t. The Zack sitting across from me had broken my heart. We had too much history, and he had a girlfriend. There wouldn’t be any not-so-innocent flirting between us.

  “Oh, so you’re back with Ben,” he said, and I could tell he was trying to keep his tone level. He was affected by that news, and I didn’t know how to take his reaction.

  “Yeah,” I said, not giving him anything else to go off of.

  Chew on that, Zack, I thought, my inner bitch rearing her ugly head. You’re not the only one who moved on.

  “So Kristin seems nice,” I said then, suddenly desperate to put us on level playing field. He knew my dating story. I should know his.

  “She’s pretty great,” he said, stomping right on my heart. “She’s been so amazing over the past few months. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

  My heart literally cracked. I swallowed hard, knowing I didn’t want to hear anything about her or how amazing she was, and Zack should have known that.

  “How long have you been together?” I asked, and it took everything in me to keep my voice steady as I said those words.

  Why was I torturing myself? I should have changed the subject, but a part of me needed to know how long he’d waited after dumping me to get together with her. I knew if he hadn’t waited long, closure would come easier for me. It would make me see just how insignificant I’d really been to him.

  Zack gave me a confused look. “What?”

  “You and Kristin.”

  “Me and Kristin, what?”

  “How long have been together?”

  His head cocked in what looked like a mix of confusion and understanding. “Oh, you really did think that,” he muttered, and I wasn’t sure if he was actually speaking to me.

  “Yeah, it was pretty obvious,” I muttered back, not sure if I was supposed to answer him or not.

  “We’re not together,” he said quickly, as if my assumption had been way off-base. “She’s Leo’s girlfriend – has been for about four years now. It’s just, she lost her mother to cancer about five years ago, so she knows what I’m going through.”

  My heart started pounding at these words, ramming against the wall of my chest. Kristin wasn’t his girlfriend. He was single. He wasn’t in love with someone else. But before I could say anything, he changed the subject on me again.

  “So, can I tell you something?”

  I nodded, holding my breath as I waited. Zack seemed nervous all of a sudden, tapping his middle finger rapidly against the tabletop. He stopped suddenly and pulled his phone from his pocket. He touched the screen a few times before he looked back up at me and taking a deep breath.

  “I’m not quite sure how to tell you this, but here,” he said, pushing his phone across the table.

  I picked it up and looked down at a picture of the little girl I knew so well and her father who I knew even better – or so I’d thought. Next to each other, they looked so much alike. It seemed crazy that I’d never guessed before, but honestly, how could I have known? Zack hadn’t bothered to tell me he had a daughter, so I never would have thought to make the connection.

  I looked back up at him but didn’t say anything. And neither did he for a few moments. We just stared at each other, expressions unreadable as we each dared the other to speak first.

  “She’s mine,” Zack finally said, the breath leaving his chest in a whoosh of air. I could see how nervous he was in that moment.

  “I know,” I said calmly, handing his phone back to him. I’d wondered if he would tell me about Lily, and now that he had, I wasn’t sure I could get past the fact that he hadn’t told me before when it mattered.

  “You do?” he asked, surprised.

  “Yeah,” I said, leaning back in my chair and taking a sip of my drink. “There’s a picture of you and her on Jen’s desk, and a few weeks ago, Jen mentioned your name when she was telling me how Lily had taken to calling you Zack instead of Daddy. I put the puzzle pieces together.”

  I was surprised at how bitter, yet calm, my voice sounded, and I realized just how angry at him I was for withholding this information from me.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  That was it. That was all he said, as if it was supposed to make up for the fact that I’d bared my soul to him but he never bothered to share something so important with me. No. Scratch that. He hadn’t bothered to share two important things with me, and I was pretty sure had Rachel not called him out about Liar’s Edge, he never would have told me about that either. The bottom line was, Zack Easton had never truly wanted to let me into his life. He’d just wanted a fuck-buddy for the summer. And that was enough to change my mind about him for good.

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” I said as nonchalantly as I could, waving my hand in dismissal.

  My insides were burning, and I had a sudden desire to reach across the table and smack him across the face, but I didn’t think doing that would succeed in inflicting the kind of pain I was feeling in that moment. It was like my chest had been opened up, my heart had fallen to the floor and he had stepped on it with his black combat boot.

  “I think I want to go,” I said, standing and slipping on my jacket.

  Zack looked dumbstruck for a few seconds, but he recovered quickly, and he didn’t try to stop me.

  “Okay,” was all he said, before he stood up and followed me out the door.

  We got into his truck in silence, and neither of us said anything. We were quiet during the five minute drive to my parents’ house, except when I had to tell him where to turn.

  Zack pulled into the driveway but didn’t turn off the engine. He knew I was upset, and I could tell he had no delusions of being invited inside.

  “Thanks for the coffee,” I said, suddenly anxious to get out of his presence. “It was good seeing you again.”

  There was absolutely no joy in my tone, and I knew he could read what I was thinking, but he didn’t stop me.

  He knew I was pissed, and yet all he said was, “You too.”

  “Okay, well, take care, I guess, or whatever,” I said, getting out of the car, wishing I could scream at the top of my lungs.

  “You too,” he said again, smiling slightly, which only made me want to punch him as hard as I could.

  Instead I just narrowed my eyes and slammed the passenger door shut, wordlessly sending him one final message.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Zack

  “She hates me,” I announced when I walked into the game room at my dad’s house. “It’s over. I’m done. I’m going to bed.”

  My dad’s wife, Sierra, who was a bit of a drama queen in emotional situations, looked up in shock. “Oh no!” she said, her hand flying to her mouth. “What happened?”

  She was sitting with Jen on the leather couch while my dad played pool with Andrew. I wasn’t sure where Derrick was but assumed he’d gone out with some of the girls he’d met at the show, as was his usual MO. No matter, I wasn’t in the mood for company. My plan was to make my announcement and go straight to bed. I really wanted a drink, but I’d been sober for two months, and I wasn’t going to change that now.

  Jen shook her head at Sierra. She knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t about to sit on the couch with them and open up about my feelings. I watched Sierra make a face at my dad that said, ‘Do something’, but my dad just shrugged. He was even less of a feelings guy than me.

  “Sorry, man,” Andrew said, leaning on his pool stick. He looked back at Jen who was eying me sympathetically.

  I realized then that all four of them were just watching me, looks of pity written all over their faces. They knew I’d gone out on a limb that night, dedicating Emily’s favorite song to her, but in the end it hadn’t been enough, and now they felt bad for me.

  Well, fuck that. I didn’t need their pity. Emily was just a girl. She didn’t want me. Big deal. I’d g
et over her.

  Without saying a word, I turned and left the room, heading down to the second floor of my dad’s monstrosity of a house. Why he and Sierra needed all that room was beyond me.

  Before ducking into the guest room I was staying in, I paused outside Lily’s room. We didn’t make it to my dad’s house all that often, but since he had nine gazillion bedrooms, he’d given one to her. Sierra had happily decorated it with lady bugs and white furniture. I had a feeling she’d been hoping my dad would agree to have another child, and sort of had an ‘if you build it they will come’ mentality, but so far he hadn’t caved. He hadn’t been a great father to begin with, so I was pretty sure he wasn’t all that excited about reliving the experience.

  I slowly opened the door and could see through the faint glow of the pink nightlight that Lily was awake. She was sitting up in her crib, talking nonsense to her favorite white teddy bear. It made me smile.

  No matter how shitty I was feeling, Lily could always make it better. It was why I’d stopped by to see her. Therapy via a twenty-one month old.

  “Daddy!” she said, as soon as she saw me.

  “Lily, what are you doing up? You should be sleeping,” I said, crossing my arms in front of me authoritatively, like I imagined myself doing in fifteen years when I’d catch her sneaking in after curfew, which she’d undoubtedly do. She was my daughter, after all, and I’d been a rule breaker when I was a teenager.

  “No sleep,” she said, grinning at me, and I just shook my head. Yeah, she was my daughter alright.

  “Come here,” I said, pulling her out of her crib. I settled into the pink striped armchair Sierra had put in the corner, rested my feet on the ottoman and set Lily on my lap. “Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story, baby girl? Maybe then you’ll go back to sleep?”

  “Thtory,” she said, nodding vigorously before she stuck her thumb in her mouth.

  We’d taken her pacifier away, so she’d resorted to using her thumb. I didn’t love it, but she looked cute when she did it, so I didn’t stop her. I’d get her braces when she was older if the thumb-sucking caused any permanent damage.