Jen was upset. I knew that without even hearing her voice. She’d called me immediately, but I’d sent the call to voicemail. She left a message, but I didn’t listen to it.
I knew if I actually heard how dejected she felt about me ditching her then I’d be inclined to go home for the weekend. I also knew that even if I went home, my head wouldn’t be in Chapel Hill with her. It would be where it had been for the past week and a half, and a part of me thought that if I just got him out of my system, I could go back to normal.
Truthfully, I probably should have gone to Jen’s apartment and holed up with her in bed for three days. Maybe I could fuck myself back to normal, but of course that wouldn’t be fair to her. I needed time to process whatever it was I was dealing with before I could see her again. We’d been together for a year. Just like her, I needed to be all in, or I needed to be out. And I wouldn’t know for sure what I wanted until I figured out what this whole Cole thing was all about.
So I was going to Tampa to find out.
I was kicking myself the whole flight. It was so stupid. What was I going to do? Show up in Tampa, call him and ask him to go out for a drink? I didn’t know, but I did know I wanted to see him. I just hoped I’d have the courage to do it.
I drummed my fingers on the armrest in time with the beat of the Coldplay song that was practically blasting in my ears as our plane flew over Florida. I knew we were getting close and kept my eyes glued on the dark night outside my window. I’d been flying all day, but as I got closer to my destination, I started to calm down more than I had in over a week, even though I was nervous and scared shitless about what I was doing. If I did it. I still wasn’t sure I’d even go through with it. I planned to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.
“Ladies and gentleman, we are beginning our decent into the Tampa area. At this time, please return your seatbacks and tray tables to their upright and locked positions and discontinue the use of any portable electronic devices. We’ll be on the ground shortly.”
I discretely pulled my left earbud out, lowered the volume but left my music playing. If I was lucky, the flight attendant wouldn’t see me violating their rules. I was such a rebel.
I blew out a huge breath as my stomach started to churn.
“It’s pretty out there,” the girl next to me said, leaning into my personal space to look out the window.
I pushed back against my seat and looked down at her. She was a pretty blond, and in another life, I might have gotten excited by the interest she seemed to be showing in me as she leaned ever closer, drifted her gaze up to meet mine and smiled. I watched her pensively, not really wanting to engage in any sort of flirting with her. She bit her lip and watched me.
“Have you been to Tampa before?” she asked.
“Yes.”
I wasn’t exactly going to be a sparkling conversationalist if that’s what she was looking for.
“It’s my fifth time,” she said. “I’m visiting my older brother.”
“That’s great.”
“I’m just excited to hang out on the beach, get some sun and relax. Work has been kicking my ass lately.”
“What do you do?” I asked, because I knew she wanted me to ask, and frankly, talking to her might end up being a good distraction.
“I work in marketing for a bank, and we just finished a huge campaign. It was sort of brutal.”
“Sounds like it.”
She had backed away from me but only slightly, and her hand reached out and grazed my left arm. “What are you listening to?”
I glanced up at the flight attendant who had just passed by, but she hadn’t heard the girl’s question.
“It’s a mix.”
“What song? I can sort of hear it, but I can’t tell what it is.”
“Boston by Five Way Friday.
She shook her head. “Never heard of them.”
“It’s an old song, from like 1999. They haven’t put out an album in almost a decade, but they’re pretty awesome.”
“That explains it. I was totally into Britney and N’Sync in 1999.”
“You had no taste back then,” I teased. “Please tell me it’s improved since then.”
She rolled her eyes playfully. “It has, although I am a huge fan of One Direction.” She held up her hand when I started to open my mouth to tease her. “Don’t say anything. They’re my guilty pleasure, and I’m not ashamed of it. I love them, but just so you don’t think less of me, most of what I listen to now is alt rock. I had a boyfriend a few years back who introduced me to it and got me hooked. Though he never told me about the band you’re listening to.”
“Little known secret,” I said coyly. “Most of the best bands start out that way.”
Of course I was thinking of Liar’s Edge, but she didn’t need to know that.
She looked pensive for a second before she picked up the earbud resting on my lap and stuck it in her ear, listening for a few seconds and nodding her head in time with the beat.
“They’re good.”
“Told you.”
“What’s your name?” she asked then, my earbud still stuck in her ear.
“Drew,” I said, giving her the nickname my friends sometimes called me. I wasn’t sure why I did that. Maybe I didn’t want her to know my real name for fear that she might figure out who I was, or maybe I just felt like I needed to be incognito, like I was on a secret mission or something. And maybe I was.
“I’m Kaitlyn.”
“Nice to meet you, Kaitlyn,” I said, unable to be rude to her.
“Listen,” she said, her hand grazing my left arm lightly. I looked down at it for a few seconds before my gaze shifted back to her. “I just broke up with someone, and I’m looking to have a little fun this weekend. Any chance you’d want to get together?”
I chuckled to myself, wondering what she’d do if I told her I was sneaking off for the weekend to visit a guy I was crushing on. She was a stranger, so technically it wouldn’t matter if I told her that. She had no clue who I was, so there was no fear of anything I said getting back to anyone I knew. Of course if I said out loud why I was going to Tampa, it would make it real, and I wasn’t actually ready to admit to myself the reality of what I was facing.
“Sorry, I’m in a relationship,” I said instead, since it was the truth.
I wasn’t sure what to do about the whole Jen thing. I hated to hurt her, to break her heart, and until I knew for sure that I needed to do that, I wasn’t making any irrational moves. It was better to see how the weekend went and make a decision when I got back home.
“That’s too bad,” the girl, whose name I’d already forgotten, said as she pulled away from me. “How long have you been with her?”
I loved how she automatically assumed I was with a woman. It told me that society still wasn’t comfortable with same sex couples, and that was unsettling. Maybe I was better off continuing to bury my feelings and living a normal life. I could have that with Jen. But would I always feel unsettled if I did that?
Fuck, this was messed up.
“We’ve been together a little over a year,” I finally said.
“Are you going to marry her?”
“No,” I said automatically, my eyes going wide at that admission. Apparently my brain had already decided for me.
The girl looked surprised too. “Then why are you with her?”
Because I’m afraid to admit that I might be gay, and she’s safe.
I knew that was the complete wrong reason to be with someone. I was an asshole. I shrugged and looked away.
“So what are you doing in Tampa?” she asked, changing the subject.
“I don’t know,” I sighed.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
I looked back at her, suddenly compelled to open up to someone, a virtual stranger who I’d never see again.
“I’m sort of here to see someone that I might have a thing for. I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have come.”
> Maybe I’d just get on the next flight back to Raleigh and spend the weekend holed up in my apartment. Or maybe I’d go see Jen and see if we couldn’t work things out. Seeing Cole might be the worst thing I could do.
Or it might be the best.
Shit.
“So you’re here to see someone who isn’t your girlfriend,” she said, and I nodded. “What’s her story? Is she an ex-girlfriend or something?”
“He,” I said, the word sounding sour and liberating at the same time as it came out of my mouth.
The girl’s eyes got wide. “He? Oh, I didn’t expect that. So, you’re bi?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “I’m not sure I know anything anymore.”
She turned and faced me again, right as the plane made a bumpy landing onto the tarmac.
“I’m sorry to hear that. You should know. You are attracted to women, right?”
“Yes,” I responded, because it was true. At that moment, I was also attracted to a guy – a guy with beautiful blond hair and blue eyes and a killer smile with dimples.
Damn.
“But there’s this guy that you’re into?” she prompted.
I nodded.
“What’s the story?”
I shifted in my seat as the plane taxied toward the gate. “I’m not sure I want to get into it.”
“I’m a great listener,” she offered. “My brother is bi, and he talked to me a lot when he was first sorting through his feelings toward men. But now he’s really happy. He’s been dating this one guy for a few months after his bitch of a girlfriend cheated on him. I think he just accepted who he was, and once he did that, he was cool with it.”
I wished it were that easy, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do that. Even still, I opened my mouth to tell her the story.
“I sort of met him a year ago, and we hooked up. I’d never really been attracted to guys before, and it happened so fast, and I was drunk, so I didn’t really process anything until the next day. But it freaked me out, so I tried to turn off my feelings. I did a pretty good job of it for the past year, but then I saw him about a week ago, and everything I felt for him that night came back. I’ve never had feelings for a guy before, but something about him keeps drawing me in.”
She nodded. “I think you’re bi. That’s cool.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to label it. It’s not like this is going to be something I’m committed to. I’ve always liked women. I think I just need to see him, maybe get him out of my system, so I can move on with my life.”
“You don’t actually think that,” she said, as the doors of the plane opened up and around us people started to stand.
“I don’t know what I think anymore.”
I watched the guy in the aisle seat stand, ready to deplane, and I was ready to do the same, but the girl next to me wasn’t moving.
“So, what’s your plan?” she asked.
I shrugged. I really had no plan. “Maybe I’ll call him tomorrow and see if he wants to get together. He called me a few days ago and left the door open, so I’ll probably surprise the shit out of him, but I think he’ll be happy to see me.”
The girl smiled. “That’s really sweet. I’m excited for you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
She shrugged. “I’m a sucker for love. I can’t find it myself, but I love when other people find it.”
Love? What the fuck?
“This isn’t love. It’s just sex,” I said, surprising myself with my brazenness.
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Drew, you’ve thought about this guy for a year, and now you can’t get him out of your head. Sounds like love to me.”
Thankfully, the man next to her started to move into the aisle and grab his suitcase from the overhead compartment, so I was able to nudge the girl so we could get off the plane and out of the conversation we were having.
She unceremoniously pulled my earbud from her ear and tossed it to me before grabbing her tote bag and standing up. “Thanks for letting me listen,” she called over her shoulder, as we made our way out of our seats and off the plane. “You have good taste in music.”
I snorted a laugh at that. Of course I had good taste in music. My band had the number one song in the nation. Then I had to smile, because it was still unbelievable that two of our singles had made it that far up the billboard charts. It was so freaking cool.
The girl turned to look at me. “What are you laughing about?”
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head.
For whatever reason, we continued to walk together as we left the jetway and took the monorail back to the main terminal. She was texting most of the time.
“Hey, can you give me a ride by any chance?” she asked, when we reached the point where I was veering off to get my rental car.
“Where’s your brother?”
“At a bar. He told me to meet him there. He’s had a few drinks and doesn’t want to drive.” Then she stopped walking. “Hey, maybe you can come in and talk to him about the whole bi thing.”
I stopped to face her, my eyes wide in surprise. “Are you joking?”
She shook her head. “No way, he’s super-nice. And trust me, he went through something really similar a few years ago. It might help. I’ll buy you a beer to thank you for the ride.”
I sighed. I could use a drink.
“Fine. I’ll have a beer, but I’m not opening up to your brother. He doesn’t need to know about our conversation or anything about my situation, okay?”
“Fine,” she said exasperatedly.
“What was your name again?” I asked, wishing I would have remembered it.
She grinned. “Kaitlyn.”
I sighed. “Come on, Kaitlyn. Let’s go.”
“Thanks! You rock.”
Thirty minutes later we were pulling out of the rental car place, our luggage in the trunk, and Kaitlyn was fiddling with the radio.
“Ooh, I love this song,” she said when she settled on Jump and started to sing along.
“Yeah, me too,” I said, unable to hide my grin. I didn’t care how many times I heard one of our songs on the radio. I never got tired of it.
“I found out about this band over the summer. They’re really good. Liar’s Edge, I think they’re called.”
I nodded, biting my lip to keep from bursting out laughing. “Yeah, that’s right,” I finally confirmed and then took a sip from my bottle of a water to hide my grin.
Kaitlyn turned in her seat then. “Ooh, I have a good test. The lead singer of the band is way hot. What do you think of him? Would you do him?”
I almost slammed on the breaks as I choked on my water. “What the hell kind of question is that?” I gasped.
Kaitlyn looked taken aback. “What do you mean what kind of a question is that? It’s a perfectly legitimate question. If you’re really into guys, you’d think Zack Easton was hot. I do, and I love guys.”
“He’s my best friend,” I blurted out, not thinking as I said it. “And no, I don’t want to do him.”
Kaitlyn looked taken aback. “He’s your best friend? Really?”
I nodded.
“The guy singing this song, right now, is your best friend.”
“Yes, and the guy playing that guitar riff, right there, is me,” I said, since I’d pretty much already blown my cover anyway.
Kaitlyn’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit! You’re Andrew Bryce?! That’s so cool! I cannot believe you didn’t tell me that!” She smacked me on the shoulder. “Or that I didn’t recognize you! You’re like a famous rock star.”
I shrugged, not minding that label one bit. I’d dreamed about it since I was ten years old and took guitar lessons for the first time.
“Can you introduce me to Zack Easton? I would totally hook up with him. Please?”
“He’s engaged,” I said, refusing to play that bullshit game that Emily insisted Zack play. It was dumb.
“Really? Damn, that sucks.” She looked pensive fo
r a few seconds. “Is that why you won’t hook up with him, because he’s taken?”
I looked over at her in astonishment. “No. First of all, he’s not into guys, and second of all, I’ve known him for seven years, and never have I ever had feelings for him. Trust me when I say this guy thing is really centered around one guy.”
“Got it,” she said, and then she was silent as we followed the GPS directions to the bar I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to anymore.
Maybe I could just drop her off and go to my hotel. I could go to bed and see how I felt about calling Cole the next day.
When the GPS said, ‘Arriving at destination on left’, Kaitlyn pulled the vanity mirror down and started to fix her make-up, grumbling about looking tired.
“Hey, so I think I’m just going to head to my hotel,” I told her.
She turned to me, looking appalled. “No! Drew, come on, you have to come inside for at least one drink. I owe you. You spared me from taking a taxi. Please,” she begged.
I had a feeling she was used to getting her way and figured it couldn’t hurt anything as long as she didn’t tell her brother about my situation. If she did, I was bolting.
“Fine,” I grumbled, and turned the car off. “One drink.”
“Yay!” she said clapping her hands a few times.
She put her arm around my waist as we walked into the bar. “Just play along, okay?”
“What?”
“Just do me this favor, okay, and go along with what I say. Please?”
I rolled my eyes. I was too tired to argue with her. “Whatever.”
The second we walked into the Irish pub, I recognized my surroundings. It was the same bar we’d played at a week and a half ago, where I’d run into Cole. My heart started pounding as I started looking around for him, but it was too crowded for me to see very far.
“Come on,” Kaitlyn said, scanning the bar. “He said he’s over by the dartboards, wherever they are.”
In the back corner of the room, I saw the tops of two dartboards. “Over there,” I pointed.
“Where? I can’t see anything. I’m too short,” she said, straining on her tiptoes to make herself taller.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 66
