“Fuck,” I said, pulling back from him and grinding the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Thank you.”
I finally looked up at him, and I really did see love in his eyes.
“For what?”
“For being here, for sitting with me. I’m actually glad I didn’t have to do that alone.”
He reached out and took my hand in his. “You never have to go through anything else alone, Andrew. I’ll be here, always.”
“Always?” I questioned, but I smiled at the same time.
“Always,” he said, as he leaned forward and kissed me. “So, what exactly did they say?”
Oh, right. Cole hadn’t heard anything but my end of the conversation, so I filled him in on the details of how my parents had reacted exactly the opposite of how I’d expected them each to, but then I let him know we’d be spending Christmas in Virginia, because I did have faith that my mother would come around.
“I’ll be excited to meet your family when the time comes, whenever they’re ready,” Cole said, stroking his thumb over the back of my hand a few times.
“I know they’ll like you. I just want them both to be open-minded.”
“They will be,” he assured me.
I flopped back against the pillows and laid there for a few minutes, not really thinking about anything. I felt drained and exhausted after all that.
“Where are you going?” I asked Cole as he started to get up.
He smiled at me. “I’m going to make you breakfast, and then I’m going to call my parents and tell them you’re coming for Thanksgiving. They’ve been asking to meet you for a while now since I’ve already told them all about you. I’ve also played them your music, showed them the band’s website, and they’ve seen you on YouTube a few times.”
A smiled crept up on my face. “I’m on YouTube?”
“Yeah,” Cole said, as if I was crazy.
“For what?”
He shook his head. “People film your concerts or pieces of them and put them online. There’s also tapings of the radio interviews you guys did that the stations put up there.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. What do you think I did over the past month when I missed you and wanted to see your smile?”
“That’s kind of cool,” I said, my mind sort of blown that Liar’s Edge actually had a YouTube presence. I guess I should have figured, but I never thought people cared that much. Apparently they did.
As he started to leave the room again, I stopped him. “Cole.”
“Yeah?” he said, turning around.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said and smiled.
He left the room then, and I let him go. He wasn’t going far, and he’d be back. I looked over at the clock. It was just past eleven in the morning, and I felt like I’d already had a full day. And it was the first day in months where I didn’t have anything to actually do. I was basically on vacation. Maybe I’d call the guys and see if they wanted to do something fun. Maybe we could go play paintball or laser tag.
I kind of felt like I just needed to let loose, let go of the hurtful things my mom had said, be thankful that my dad was on my side, relish in the fact that Liar’s Edge was exactly where we wanted to be and I had a man who loved me. I wasn’t sure there was anything else in the world that I could possibly want in that moment except my mom’s acceptance, but at that point, I’d take what I could get because overall, things were pretty damn good.
Epilogue
Andrew
I looked nervously out the window at the crowd assembled outside the auditorium where the Grammy nominee show was being held. We were in a line of limos waiting to approach the red carpet. Next to me, Cole slipped his hand in mine and squeezed it. I looked over at him and smiled.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded a few times, but I knew he could tell by the stricken look on my face that I was half-past terrified.
He leaned over and pressed his lips to the hollow just below my ear. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you. You guys have worked so hard for this. Try to enjoy it.”
I smiled and looked over at him. “Easy for you to say. You don’t have to talk to anyone.”
He knew I was nervous about the interviews we’d have to do on the red carpet, and it wasn’t like in the past where I could let Zack do all the talking. I’d have to participate. I knew the reporters would have questions for me. Since Cole and I had officially come out, taking it slow and just going places in public, holding hands and kissing, people had taken notice. I’m not sure if it was a fan who’d taken the first pictures and started the buzz, but the week before there had been a picture on the Internet, and since then several more had surfaced.
It was strange, but ever since the tour ended, it was like people suddenly knew who we were. It wasn’t crazy or intense, and I didn’t think any of us would need security anytime soon, but we had fans, and when we were out, they approached us. I’d given a decent number of autographs in the past few weeks when I’d been out. It was kind of nuts that people actually wanted my autograph, but it was so cool at the same time. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, what I’d thought about my entire life from the first time I’d decided that I wanted to be a musician. When you do what we do for a living, there’s nothing that gives you quite the high than people singing your lyrics back to you, but being recognized and being told how great your music is, well, that’s a close second. Now if we could just win that elusive Grammy. That would be a totally different story. Oh, and have our album go multi-platinum. That wouldn’t suck either.
Cole squeezed my hand again. “I’ll be right next to you the whole time. You’ll be fine.”
“But what if they ask me a question I don’t want to answer?”
“I’ll deflect it,” Derrick chimed in from across the limo. I hadn’t been aware that he’d even heard Cole and me talking. “I’m good at that.”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, I know you are. Thanks man.”
“No problem,” he said as he stretched his arm over the back of the seat and looked out the window. “It’s crazy out there. All those flashbulbs, all those ladies who want a piece of the only single guy left in Liar’s Edge.”
“You are such a douchebag sometimes,” Leo grumbled as he dead-leg punched Derrick’s thigh. “Do you actually listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth?”
“Oww, man. What the fuck? That hurt,” Derrick said, rubbing his leg through the fabric of his suit pants. “Of course I listen to the shit that comes out of my mouth. I have ears. Why do you guys always have to hit me? Really?”
“Because you deserve it,” Zack said, grinning at him.
The limo lurched forward then, and we came to a stop in front of the red carpet. I swallowed hard as I took in how long it was and how crowded it seemed.
Cole squeezed my hand again. “Right next to you the whole time, okay?”
I nodded a few times. “Okay.”
As we stepped out the flashbulbs started going off, and I gripped Cole’s hand tighter to keep steady. I remembered what Emily had told us about not looking directly into the flashes or we wouldn’t be able to see. Then I tried to remember to smile, hoping I didn’t look like a grimacing serial killer or someone with constipation.
The first part was easy. Smile. Pose for pictures. The photographers seemed to want shots of me with Cole, but then Emily asked us to separate from our dates and pose as a band, and I had to let go of his hand. But I was with my best friends, and I had to remember that we were all going through this craziness for the first time together. And quite honestly, I knew I’d never be there again, walking the red carpet for the first time, feeling everything I was feeling, so I decided to stop worrying and just take it all in.
We posed for shots together, arms around each other and then more serious shots of us looking more refined, which couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I mean, we cleaned up well, but suits and dress sho
es weren’t us. I couldn’t wait until we could go backstage and change into the clothes we’d wear for our performance. My jeans, vans and faded polo were calling my name.
I tried to calm my nerves as we approached the first reporter and relaxed when I saw it was Lindsay Hollenbeck, the radio DJ who’d interviewed us in L.A. I knew she also worked for one of the entertainment TV shows, which was why she was there. And she liked us. It was her who’d invited us to perform on New Year’s Eve. This would be fine.
“Liar’s Edge,” she said when she saw us. “My new favorite band. How are you guys? You’ve had a hell of a year.”
She smiled widely and waited for one of us to respond. Of course Zack took the lead, and quite honestly, I was okay with it.
“We’re great, just loving all of this, being here tonight, getting invited to perform. It’s incredible,” Zack said, working the interview just like he worked our shows. He was a natural.
“Any chance you think you’ll be nominated tonight?” Lindsay asked as she stuck the microphone back in his face.
Zack smiled, and I knew panties were dropping all across the country. Girls loved that smile, and Lindsay was no exception. I was sure she’d been disappointed to find out Zack had gotten married since she’d shamelessly hit on him the last time we saw her.
“We think we have a good chance, but we’ll see,” Zack responded cordially. “There are so many amazing musicians out there right now that we’re just fortunate to be included in the consideration.”
“Well, you all have my vote. And on a side note, outside of the music, you all have been busy. Zack you got married last month, right? To your publicist? And it was kind of out of the blue.”
Yeah, it really wasn’t, but of course the rest of the world didn’t know Zack had been lying about his relationship status all summer. Not that it really mattered.
Zack nodded, and the camera flashed to Emily who smiled and waved. “Yeah, sometimes when it’s right, you just have to take that step,” he said.
“All you can do is jump, right?” Lindsay said, and it gave me chills to hear our lyrics repeated back to us.
“That’s right,” Zack said, smiling shyly and I knew he was feeling the same way I was. It was so surreal when that happened.
“And Andrew,” Lindsay said then, turning to me. “You’re in a new relationship too, right? And you recently came out?”
“That’s right,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
She smiled. “I have to say, your new guy is hot. I’m jealous. Why are all the good ones either taken or gay?”
“I guess that’s the question of the night,” Derrick chimed in and we all laughed.
I’d have to thank him later for that tension breaker since I hadn’t had a clue as to what to say in response.
“Although some of us good ones are straight and single,” Derrick added at the last second, winking at Lindsay as we all laughed again.
“Good to know, Derrick. Thanks for sharing.”
“Anytime,” he said, grinning at her.
Yeah, he really had no shot whatsoever.
“Alright guys, good luck with your performance tonight and with your potential to be nominated,” Lindsay said, closing out the interview.
I breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn’t bad at all.
The rest of the walk down the carpet continued in a similar fashion until we reached the end and Cole slid next to me, taking my hand in his.
“I’m proud of you, babe,” he said, kissing my cheek. “You did great, and you looked hot doing it.”
I smiled. “Thanks, but truthfully, all I kept thinking about was getting through the interviews and getting to this moment. Everything’s better when you’re next me.”
“I know. I feel the same way.”
“Come on, guys,” Zack called from a few feet in front of us. They’d all walked ahead as Cole and I had stopped to talk.
I kept his hand in mine as we walked forward to join my band mates, not sure if it got any better than this.
Zack
“And the nominees for Best New Artist are . . .”
I held my breath and gripped the arms of the chair I was seated in, the large room feeling overwhelmingly hot all of a sudden, and in my suit, I was starting to suffocate. It had been a whirlwind couple of hours that started when we arrived at the Grammy nomination show.
Liar’s Edge had walked the red carpet for the first time, and I was sure we’d all looked like we wanted to puke. I sure felt like that. I’d stepped out of the limo with Emily’s hand in mine. Leo was with Kristin, Derrick was solo, and Andrew and Cole were making their public debut as a couple.
After he’d come out to his parents a few weeks earlier, he and Cole had taken to not hiding their relationship any longer. They were out and about in Chapel Hill and Raleigh, where Cole’s sister lived, on a regular basis, and they’d even gone to Jacksonville for Thanksgiving. There were one or two stories about them, but other than that, the music world hadn’t really blinked at our guitarist being gay, which was a giant relief to Andrew. I knew he was afraid his personal choices would affect our sales and our reputation, and I was glad to know our fans weren’t that shallow. And he’d looked so proud walking with Cole and smiling for the cameras.
The reporters had allowed us to take several pictures with our dates, but then they asked us to pose as a band. Emily had prepped us all that they would want that, and we shouldn’t fight it. So I reluctantly, but agreeably, let go of Emily’s hand and let her go stand next to Jonathan who was there with his model girlfriend, who we finally got to meet. I was glad that I no longer had to feel threatened by him and knew that I’d probably read into a lot of what I’d seen between him and Emily, but that was all in hindsight. In the moment, it had felt real.
But it turned out that Jonathan was a good guy, and Derrick had been right. He’d done more for us as a band than we’d ever expected. I loved Molly, and she was still one of my favorite people in the world, but I knew we never would have been where we were that day had she still been managing us. I might never admit it to her or Adam, but it had been the right call to bring Jonathan on-board.
Now we were about to see if the one thing we had always dreamed about was going to come true. Of course, if we really were nominated for a Grammy, then our dream would change, since we wanted to win. We wanted the world to see that Liar’s Edge, a band the four of us had practically lived and breathed for seven years, was going to be a key player in the music world for years to come.
I had no plans of ever giving up music, and I knew the three guys sitting next to me felt the same way. We were in it for the long haul, no matter what that meant.
As the names of four bands were announced and cheers went up around the room, I held my breath, afraid to let it out. And then . . .
“Liar’s Edge!”
It took a few seconds for me to wrap my head around the fact that the pop star on stage announcing the nominees had actually called our name, but when it finally registered, I was on my feet, jumping around like a kid, hugging my band mates and Emily and Jonathan and anyone else who was close enough for me to grab. I think I might have even hugged the ‘too cool for school’ rap artist sitting a few seats down, but I didn’t care. I was too excited. I was sure everyone watching would see just how the moment affected us, but it probably made us seem more human.
After that the show went to a commercial break, we had to head backstage to get ready for our performance. I felt better once I was in my stage uniform of ripped jeans, a black Jimmy Eat World t-shirt and my combat boots. I wondered vaguely if anyone would think it was strange that I was wearing the name of a different band on my shirt, but truthfully, it was what I’d always worn when I performed, and I wasn’t going to change now. Besides, Jimmy Eat World was an awesome band.
I looked around at my band mates – Leo in his blazer and t-shirt, Andrew wearing a frayed, faded turquoise polo, and Derrick in a white tank top that showed off his sleeves of ta
ts – and thought about how far we’d come. At the end of the day, we were, and we’d always be, four guys who just liked to play music and were kind of good at it. And it looked like we were going to get to do that for the rest of our lives.
Right before we were set to hit the stage, I grabbed Andrew around the neck with one arm, Leo with the other, and Andrew grabbed Derrick, pulling us all together into a huddle.
“I fucking love you guys,” I told them, growling out the words. “You’re my brothers and the best friends I’ve ever had. Thank you for everything. This is a huge night. Remember this moment, right here, right now, because this is the moment when we got everything we wanted, when we told everyone who didn’t believe in us to go fuck themselves, because this is us, ruling the fucking world!”
The guys laughed.
Yeah, so I had a little bit of adrenaline coursing through me that caused me to be the slightest bit dramatic, but I didn’t care. This was our night.
“You’re such a sentimental douchebag,” Derrick said. “But I love you anyway.”
Andrew hit him upside the head, and he just laughed. I didn’t think anything could get us down in that moment.
“You guys are always fucking hitting me,” he complained, but it was good-natured.
“You do know we actually have to win the Grammy still, right Zack?” Andrew asked.
“We’ll win,” I told him, hoping no one else could hear us, but I was that confident in our music.
Andrew grinned. “Yeah, you’re right. We probably will. We’re so fucking awesome!”
“Love you guys,” Leo said then. “Kick ass tonight.”
“Oh, it’s on,” Derrick said, the cockiness that was just him oozing out of his pores as he bounced on his heels.
The rest of us laughed.
“Mr. Easton, you’re on in two minutes. We need you to take your places, please,” the girl working the event told us, interrupting our moment.
I looked at the guys and smiled. “Let’s do this.”
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 95
