by Lynn, JB
I raised my eyebrows, surprised.
“There’s something you need to know, Mags.”
I mentally braced myself. “What?”
“The gunman who shot up your dad’s room is dead.” He stayed silent for a moment, letting me absorb that information before he added, “The official story is that he hung himself…but unofficially, I’m telling you someone messed with the cameras.”
“You think someone killed him?” I surmised.
“That’s my guess,” the redhead confirmed.
“U.S. Marshal Griswald isn’t here,” I told him. Anxiety made me revert to a formal speech pattern, as though speaking correctly could keep the truth at bay. “Has he been informed?”
Patrick raised his eyebrows, surprised by my tone. “I assume so.”
“You assume…” I trailed off, fumbling for my phone. I had to make sure that Griswald knew about this latest development.
“I’m going to see if Brian’s here,” Patrick said.
I nodded distractedly as I reached out to Susan’s husband.
Shaking his head, Patrick rolled down the driveway toward the main house.
The call went straight to voicemail.
“You probably already know this,” I blurted out, “but the guy, Hans, the one who shot up the hospital room, he was found hanging. Anyway, I thought you should know. Stay safe and call Aunt Susan. She’s worried sick about you.”
“She’s not the only one who’s worried,” God pointed out. “You sound pretty panicked and it’s unusual for your murder mentor to show up on police business.”
I began to walk toward the house. “I wonder why he didn’t just call Brian.”
“Maybe it was a good excuse to come check on you,” the lizard suggested. “Especially if he’s jealous of Gino,” he added.
I stumbled at that idea.
“Aaaah,” God screamed, as my tripping caused him to lose traction on my shoulder. Thankfully, he caught himself on one of the dress’s decorative buttons. “You clumsy oaf.”
“Sorry,” I muttered as he hauled himself back up to his preferred perch.
I continued toward the house. “Who do you think hung Hans?” I asked, eager to steer the conversation away from the supposed love triangle God was suggesting. My life is complicated enough as it is.
“Whoever hired him,” the lizard proclaimed.
I frowned. “Between him being offed in jail and Whitehat’s ninjas assassinating the gunmen, there aren’t many loose ends being left.” I came to an abrupt halt, almost sending God flying again.
“What the—” he muttered.
“Mia had said she’d been hired by a woman,” I interrupted. “Whitehat had the ninjas kill those men. What if it’s not Griswald they were after, but me? I was at the cemetery. I was in the hospital room.” My voice squeaked as I danced along the rim of hysteria. “What if—"
“Stop!” God boomed.
I fell silent.
“Now, breathe,” he ordered.
It was good advice. I was starting to get light-headed. I sucked in a much-needed breath.
“Now, listen,” he instructed. “Really listen.”
I nodded wordlessly.
“One. Nobody is going to try to frame you for murder AND try to kill you. That would make absolutely no sense.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” he mocked. “Two. Why would Whitehat want you dead?”
I shrugged.
“She doesn’t. You’re useful to her.”
“Fine.”
“Three. And this one you really need to pay attention to because, apparently, you haven’t been.”
I stiffened beneath his admonishment.
“Granted, the canine’s grammar is horrendous, but her basic vocabulary is decent,” God grudgingly admitted. “For a dog,” he added quickly.
“So?”
“When those gunmen were dropped, what did she say?”
I shrugged. “I don’t remember.” I swallowed hard, remembering my panic that Gino had been among those shot.
“Sleeping,” he reminded me. “Even she would know the difference between sleeping and dead, don’t you think?”
“But—” My mind struggled to make sense of what he was saying.
“They used some sort of tranquilizer on them,” God explained. “You didn’t listen to DeeDee and assumed they’d been killed.”
“So Whitehat probably knows who’s after Griswald, too,“ I murmured.
“More reason to steal the teddy bear,” God decided.
7
“Your mobster friend called,” Aunt Susan announced as I walked into the house.
I stopped dead in my tracks. That was a first. Why would Gino call the house?
“I never understood what your mother saw in him, either,” Susan groused.
I let out a shaky sigh. Gino hadn’t called. Not that it was any less disturbing that Delveccio had. “Oh yeah?” I asked, trying to appear casual.
Sitting on the couch, Susan lowered her knitting needles into her lap and looked me over. “I thought you had a date with Zeke.”
“He got called into work.”
“There’s a lot of that going on,” she muttered darkly. She glared down at the pile of yarn in her lap.
“You said I had a call,” I reminded her.
She snapped her angry gaze up to me. I tried not to flinch, reminding myself she was upset with Griswald, not me.
“It’s bad enough that your mother cavorted with that hooligan,” she complained bitterly.
God chuckled in my bra. “Hooligan.”
“She had an excuse. She’s mentally unstable. What’s your excuse, Margaret?” Susan kept violently stabbing at the blanket or whatever she was knitting with the long needles.
“Oh, she’s mentally unstable, too,” God chortled.
Ignoring him, I reminded her, “He was kind to Katie.”
“Three generations of our family entangled with his. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.”
Knowing there was no point in arguing with her, she did have a valid point that being involved with an organized crime family wasn’t the best choice, I asked, “What did he want?”
“To invite Katie to a party.” She spat out the words like he’d invited the child to a cannibal orgy.
My mind racing, I nodded slowly. This could be exactly the excuse I needed to grab the teddy bear.
“And he said Alicia could come, too, so that she wouldn’t feel left out.” Susan waved the knitting needles for emphasis. “Said it wouldn’t be fair if her cousin went to a party and she didn’t.”
“That was thoughtful of him,” I murmured.
“How does he even know about her?” Susan’s tone was sharp with accusation.
“I might have mentioned it,” I lied, knowing it was better to tell her that than to say his bodyguard, who had our home under surveillance, had informed him of the child’s arrival.
Susan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And when did you do that?”
“I ran into him at the hospital when Dad was shot,” I admitted.
Shaking her head, she looked away. “And you were so overwhelmed by everything that was going on that you blurted it out.”
I nodded, letting her believe her theory. It was as plausible as any excuse I could have come up with.
She sighed heavily. “Why is everything in life so complicated?”
“Have you heard from Gris—Lawrence?” I asked gently.
She shook her head. “That nice police detective was here, the good-looking one with red hair.”
“Detective Mulligan,” I supplied.
She nodded. “He was looking for Lawrence. When I said he wasn’t here, he went in search of his nephews.”
“What’s his name?” I blurted out.
She blinked, surprised. “You just said it was Mulligan.”
“Not him. The nephew. Not Brian.”
“Michael,” she replied. “You’ve met him before.”
“Didn’t he just shoot someone to save your life?”
I nodded.
“And you didn’t think to ask him?” She shook her head. “Honestly, Margaret, you’d think you were raised by wolves.”
I hung my head guiltily.
“Don’t give her any ideas,” God muttered. “Next thing you know, she’ll be adding a wolf to the menagerie.”
“Mulligan seems like a nice man,” Susan said, changing the subject. “Law abiding.”
God guffawed in my bra. “He’s a part-time assassin.”
Susan shot daggers at my squeaking chest. “An upstanding member of society.”
“He’s a bigamist,” God grumbled.
Thankfully, he was quiet enough that Susan didn’t hear his squeaking. She continued, “Perhaps you should ask him out.”
“No,” I said too quickly.
“You’re a modern woman. It would be acceptable,” my aunt encouraged.
“It’s not that,” I hurriedly told her.
“Is it your father?” She put her needles down. “I’m sure he wouldn’t hold that against you.”
“I’m not asking him out on a date,” I told her firmly.
“Because she already slept with him and he cheated on her!” God supplied, even though Susan couldn’t understand him.
“Shut up!” I pulled my collar away from my skin to look down and reprimand him.
“If you didn’t carry that infernal creature with you, you might have better luck at attracting a man, Margaret,” she suggested.
I squinted at her. “Did you and Loretta switch bodies or something? Since when did you care about my love life?”
“I care about your happiness,” she corrected.
“I’m happy,” I told her.
She arched her eyebrows and pursed her lips.
“I mean,” I backpedaled, “considering all that’s going on, I’m relatively happy.”
“You shouldn’t lead Zeke on,” she warned.
“What?” If I wasn’t already looking at her, I would’ve done a double-take.
“Zeke. He’s always had a bit of a crush on you, not that you ever noticed.”
First, Marlene, now, Aunt Susan. I shook my head. “No, he didn’t.”
Susan raised her eyebrows at me in reproach. “Just don’t get the poor boy’s hopes up. He could misconstrue you putting an effort in,” she waved at the dress I wore, “to mean that you were interested in dating him.”
I opened, then closed my mouth. I couldn’t tell her that Zeke had been the one who told me to get dressed up. “Okay,” I agreed weakly.
“Delveccio left a number for you to call him back at. I wrote it on the pad next to the phone.”
I nodded my thanks and started to head toward the kitchen.
“Margaret?”
I turned back.
“You haven’t heard from Lawrence, have you?” The worry in her voice pricked at my heart.
“I haven’t. I’m sorry.”
“Work,” she murmured, starting to move her knitting needles again. “He’s busy with work.”
“I’m sure he’ll be in touch soon.”
She nodded, staring down at the yarn.
Feeling helpless to offer her comfort, I headed into the kitchen and grabbed Delveccio’s number. I programmed it into my phone and then stepped outside, my thumb hovering above the call button.
“This is your chance to get the teddy bear,” God said, scrambling up to my shoulder.
“That had occurred to me,” I told him drily.
“And get in Ms. Whitehat’s good graces,” he reminded me.
I nodded. “Where do you think Griswald is?”
“He’s a big boy, I’m sure he’s off solving his problems.”
I wanted to believe him, but my gut was telling me something was wrong. “People want him dead.”
“He’s not your biggest problem right now. You need to get the bear.”
“If the ninjas took the gunmen to Ms. Whitehat, she might know what’s going on with Griswald.”
“And she might be more inclined to help you if you do what she wants,” the lizard countered.
“I wonder if Zeke knows what’s going on with Griswald,” I mused.
“Focus, Maggie,” God said sharply. “One problem at a time. Your first priority has to be to steal the toy.”
I knew he was right, but I was really worried about Griswald.
8
“Hey, sugar,” Piss purred.
Squinting through the shadows, I saw the cat a few feet away. She was licking a paw.
“Everything okay?”
“I was just listening in on the conversation of Griswald’s nephews,” she revealed.
“With one ear?” God mocked.
“Haha, funny, scales,” the cat hissed in return.
Ignoring the bickering animals, I glanced around. “Where are they?”
“They’re in Brian’s car, which is parked behind the barn.”
I scowled. “What are they doing there?”
“Guarding everyone here.”
“And what were they talking about?” God prompted impatiently.
“They seemed worried that their uncle broke the law,” Piss replied.
“Griswald?” I laughed at the idea. Then, I remembered what I’d heard about him playing loose with the rules.
“They can’t figure out why he hasn’t called in official protection for your family.” Piss rubbed her body against my shins as she spoke.
“A good question,” God grumbled.
“Patrick is going to relieve them in a few hours,” Piss continued, ignoring him. “In the meantime, DeeDee is guarding the girls, Percy is out patrolling the perimeter, Mike is keeping an eye in the sky on things, and I’m rotating around, checking on everyone.”
I felt a surge of gratitude for the animals and their protection. “Thank you,” I choked out. “I’ll join you.”
“No, sugar. You get some rest,” she urged. “If anything happens, one of us will let you know.” She trotted off, tail held high.
“Rest after you call Delveccio,” the lizard on my shoulder urged.
Sighing, I called the number the mobster had left.
“Yeah?” Delveccio growled.
“Oh, um, hi,” I stammered nervously. “It’s me. Maggie. Maggie Lee.”
“You ever measured the size of the stick your aunt has shoved up her…” He interrupted himself, remembering he was talking about my family member. “I’m glad you got my message.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m having a little party for Dominic tomorrow. Wanted to know if you wanna come. You can bring both little girls.”
“I’m sure Katie will be excited,” I said carefully. “I’ll have to check with Alicia. She’s a little shy.” I figured it was less offensive to offer that as an excuse than to say I wasn’t sure that Marlene would let her daughter play with the grandson of a mob boss.
“Great,” Delveccio said. “Three o’clock?”
“They finish school at three. Would three thirty be okay?”
He chuckled. “Only you would have the balls to ask me to reschedule. Fine. Three thirty.”
“It’s Dominic’s birthday?” I asked, thinking I’d have to buy the boy a gift.
“No. Just an excuse to cheer him up. He had to go back to the hospital for a check-up and has been in a mood ever since. I’ve tried to help. Gino did what he could but…” The mobster trailed off sadly.
I squeezed my phone, feeling sorry for both the sad little boy and his struggling grandfather. They may be a mob family, but they had the same problems as others.
Delveccio cleared his throat. “The kid’s lonely. Misses Angel, I think.”
I nodded. Angel had his faults, but he was great with kids. I could see how his leaving town had left a hole in Dominic’s life.
“You miss him, too?” Delveccio asked.
Reali
zing he hadn’t seen my nod and had thought I hadn’t responded, I hurried to assure him. “Not particularly.”
Delveccio let out a laugh. “I like the way you shoot from the hip. We’ll see you at three thirty.” He disconnected the call.
“Now, you can go rest,” God said. “And tomorrow, you can ask Marlene if Alicia can go.”
“I don’t know if I can sleep, knowing someone could be out there, coming for the family.” I peered into the darkness, searching for assailants who might not even be there. “I’ve got to ask Whitehat what she knows.”
“Tomorrow,” God urged. “Bring her the teddy bear and you’ll be giving her something for the information.”
Knowing he was right, I reluctantly returned to my bedroom. Matilda was guarding the door.
“I’m supposed to tell you to open your window a crack so that Mike can warn us if there’s a problem,” the pig grunted.
“Danger! Danger! Danger!” Benny squeaked from his box as I placed God in his terrarium.
“It’s going to be okay,” I assured the timid little mouse. “Go to sleep.”
I wasn’t sure that was true and didn’t think I’d get any zzz’s myself, but I got into bed…fully dressed in case there was a middle-of-the-night attack.
I must have fallen asleep, because I dreamed about the self-defense lessons Patrick had given me, how he’d taught me the most vulnerable parts of the body to attack.
When I awoke the next morning, I was muttering, “Eyes. Nose. Throat. Groin. Eyes. Nose. Throat. Groin.” Matilda was curled up beside me, snoring softly. So much for my personal bodyguard.
Stretching, I got out of bed, leaving her sleeping, and scooped up God out of his enclosure. With the lizard on my shoulder, I padded down to the kitchen. For once, it was empty, but I knew someone else was up because there was a freshly brewed pot of coffee. I’d just finished pouring my cup when Marlene walked in to refill hers.
“Morning,” I murmured.
“I just brought Herschel orange juice,” she announced.
“How’s he feeling?”
She shrugged. “He was out there talking to his donkey.”
I nodded, glad that he’d reassured Irma he wasn’t dying.
“He asked for more of Templeton’s chicken soup,” Marlene revealed. “Speaking of food, how was your dinner date with Zeke?”
