How To Be A Badass Witch: Book Two

by Michael Anderle

  Their hands thrust toward the mine shaft in the gesture to complete the spell.

  They had made sure to stand back, but the resulting explosion knocked them all flat on their asses, ears ringing and teeth rattling, as a fireball the size of a water tower rose over the desert and blackened rock and dirt flew everywhere. Some scattered for half a mile, but much of it collapsed inward, burying the tunnel.

  There was a moment of stunned silence, then the three men burst out laughing in unison. Even Gage, the career criminal, couldn’t keep quiet. Having magic was like being a kid in a candy store.

  Tariq, giggling like a little kid, rolled over and stood up, careless of the dirt on his clothing. “Shit, man, that was off the hook!”

  Mick grunted and pulled himself up using the bumper of their SUV. “Why didn’t someone tell me before that being a witch was so much fun?”

  “Probably,” Gage countered, though even he was grinning with stupid elation, “because they hid all the good stuff behind that propaganda about being nice and one with nature or some crap. Who cares?”

  The others nodded and brushed themselves off. Mick’s cheek was bleeding slightly where a piece of rock-shrapnel had struck him, but he didn’t seem to mind much. “Sounds about right.”

  Gage waved his hand, returning to the important stuff. “Well, the cat’s out of the bag. Let’s go show the Wynn how they can make the money...”

  “And we can take it,” Tariq finished for him.

  They piled into the vehicle; Mick drove. “Exactly,” he agreed. “So, we meet Jay first, then head for the Strip, and then, what was it, some Presidential street?”

  Gage sighed. “The Wells Fargo on Howard Hughes Street, dipshit. But yeah. Get going.”

  They sped off, wanting to make sure they were nowhere near the area by the time the authorities showed up to investigate the blast since someone had probably heard or seen it.

  All three swelled with confidence, though. Security would be helpless against them.

  To their knowledge, no one had ever used magic to rob a bank.

  Chapter Nine

  Kera’s head was still buzzing with plans and techniques when she showed up at work. She had been tempted to call in sick so she could keep working on her spells and physical training.

  It was her sense of obligation that brought her in, not the paycheck. If she was absent on short notice, it would be a scramble for Cevin, and someone would have to replace her. She had overslept only the week before and missed part of her shift, so Kera didn’t want to throw any more wrenches into the proper functioning of the Mermaid.

  Besides, she consoled herself, there was only so much practice she could do at one time. Magic, like physical prowess, needed to be built up over time.

  On the ride over, she found herself ruminating on Mr. Kim’s advice to keep her power turned off when she wasn’t using it. She had thought at first that he meant being more prudent about what she used magic for and what she did not.

  She was beginning to wonder if she’d been wrong. When she was riding her bike, she had to be completely aware of her body, and if she concentrated, she could feel the part of her that connected to the magic of the world and channeled it.

  It gave off a low hum and held energy like a tensed muscle.

  What was it Mr. Kim had said? Oh, yes: he’d likened it to a faucet that must be turned off. Kera didn’t have the first idea how to do that, and she didn’t want to try while she was in motion on a motorbike.

  As soon as she pulled into the back lot, however, she took a moment outside. Cognizant of the cameras, she told herself not to make any strange expressions or gestures. This was the opposite of doing magic, after all.

  It took her a moment to find the feeling again. There it was, almost an ache, the burn of a muscle knotted and pushed past its endurance. She rolled her shoulders and breathed out, trying to loosen it as if it were a part of her body.

  For all she knew, it was.

  It took about a minute of dedicated thought, but she was fairly sure she felt it release. The sense of relief was almost dizzying.

  Now that she had turned off, she realized what Mr. Kim had meant. Her energy had been flowing slowly but steadily out of her body, channeled into keeping her readiness up for casting spells.

  Hopefully now she would stop losing weight. She had, like most women her age, had the nagging feeling that losing a few pounds would probably be good. She now knew that she had been very wrong, and she was ready to go back to eating reasonably sized meals.

  When she stepped into the hallway, Cevin poked his head out of his office.

  “Not trying to be stalker-y, just saw you standing outside on the monitors. They ping me when there’s new motion. Everything okay?”

  “Oh. Yeah.” Kera considered the feeling and gave the most accurate interpretation of it she could. “Had some heartburn.”

  “You are way too young for that shit,” Cevin said emphatically. “Feeling better? Need any Tums or anything?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” She was touched by his concern. “Thanks, though.”

  In the break room, she shoved her things into a locker and put her blonde wig on, adjusting the fine strands into a braid. She had figured out a way to do so that didn’t call attention to the wig’s false edges, and she thought it was a good strategy to keep it in good condition. Less chance of snags or knots that way.

  She was still adjusting the edges of the wig as she went out and gave a distracted wave to the others on shift today: Jennifer, Stephanie, and TJ.

  “Kera,” Stephanie chided, “did you drop another few pounds?” Her tone was light, but there was genuine worry in it.

  TJ, oblivious as usual, laughed. “Seriously, I thought you were skinny when you first started working here, but now you’re, like, barely visible.”

  “Ha. Ha-ha. Ha.” Kera gave a puff of air to blow a strand of her blonde wig away from her face. “The wit. The hilarity.”

  Stephanie shot an annoyed glance at TJ. “That wasn’t necessary,” she told him. To Kera, she said, “We’re just playing, but you really don’t need to lose any more weight, girl. Is everything okay?”

  The concern made the jokes less annoying, not to mention that she was pretty sure she’d figured out how to stop the weight loss. Kera grinned and nodded. “Perfectly fine. Look, it’s like this, right?”

  The others gathered around to listen to the story.

  “I had a hundred donuts,” Kera started.

  “Here we go,” Jennifer muttered.

  “And a bitch ate one,” Kera continued serenely. “By the time I kicked her ass, a bunch of raccoons had grabbed the others.” She shook her head with a mock-sad expression.

  TJ snorted and headed off to bring a bus tray into the kitchen.

  “I didn’t mean to lose the weight,” Kera assured Stephanie and Jennifer. “There are times in my life when I would have killed for that, but…grass is always greener, huh? Anyway, I promise, I’m trying to gain the weight back.”

  “Cool.” Stephanie nodded. “As long as you’re not having trouble with something.”

  “Nope. I’ll even let you all help. You give me donuts, I’ll eat them. Or fries. Or burritos. In fact, I’ll go so far as to enjoy them and weigh in. We can do it at the start of every workday I’m on to make sure I’m not tampering with the evidence.”

  “I don’t know, baby girl.” Jennifer grinned as she pocketed the tip from one of her tables. “I make good money, but not ‘a hundred donuts a day’ money.”

  “I feel your pain,” Kera said. “The guy who runs the grocery store I shop at has been giving me so much shit about me buying all the trail mix and sweets.” Her stomach grumbled again. “And it’s still not enough,” she finished.

  Customers were beginning to come in more quickly as people left work early and there was no more time to banter, though TJ did call in an order of onion rings on Kera’s behalf.

  Around forty-five minutes later, a biker couple Kera had spok
en to before came in. Sara and Maurice had recently moved nearby from another neighborhood, and they had struck up conversation a few weeks ago on the merits of various smaller bikes. The two of them ran a bike shop nearby and had promised Kera a discount if she ever needed anything for Zee.

  They had come in recently to drink and discuss Motorcycle Man—an awkward topic, given that Kera and Motorcycle Man were one and the same.

  “Hi, Kera!” Sara called.

  Kera waved them over. “Welcome back! Sorry I haven’t been to the shop yet, but I’ve been busy as hell. What’ll you have? Same as last time?”

  “Do you remember what we had last time?” Maurice raised an eyebrow.

  “Whiskey and Coke for you, Screwdriver for Sara.” Kera shot them a smile as she hoisted her tray up. “Remembering people’s favorite drinks is my superpower.”

  The two laughed as they settled in.

  “Same for me,” Maurice told Kera.

  “I think I’ll switch it up,” Sara said. “I think I’ll have a Blue Motorcycle this time in honor of you-know-who.”

  “Sure.” Kera whisked away before they could ask her if she’d heard any more rumors. As she made the drinks, however, she reflected that it might be useful to hear the word on the street about her alter ego.

  Accordingly, she hung around near them after she brought the drinks back. The night was young and still fairly slow, so she had the opportunity to linger.

  They were only too happy to share stories. After all, as they had told her recently, they were glad that motorcyclists were getting a good name at last. As they drank, the couple went on about how they’d been following Motorcycle Man’s exploits and were disappointed that they hadn’t encountered him themselves.

  “How do you know?” Kera inquired archly.

  Sara laughed. “True, I suppose we might have. Anyway, if we did see him, we’d help him out.”

  “Absolutely.” Maurice nodded. “Wouldn’t matter what he was doing. The dude runs into burning buildings to save people. That’s the kind of people we need to try to be like.”

  “Maybe he could take a stab at the gang violence,” Sara said. “Or take on a drug cartel or North Korea.”

  “The commute for that would be a bitch,” Kera quipped.

  They departed an hour or so later and business continued to decline, unusual for this time of night. Cevin wandered out of his office after a while and looked around, then beckoned Kera over.

  “Hey,” he asked her, “have you seen that jackass again? You know who I mean.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t want to jinx our good luck, but no. I think he got the message that it’s pointless to hang around here, and he’d be better off trying the shakedown act someplace else.”

  His face relaxed in obvious relief. “Good, good. This place finally seemed like it was on a good footing. That was a monkey wrench I didn’t need. Maybe I can start taking days off again.”

  “Oh?” Kera smiled. “And how will you spend your time off?”

  “What is it you say when I ask you about your extracurriculars?” he asked her, grinning. “Something about not being a stalker?”

  “And yet you ask anyway.” Kera grinned. “So, tell me. Is there a lady friend?”

  “What? No!”

  “Gentleman friend?”

  Cevin sighed and glared at her. “No. Neither of those.”

  “My apologies.” Kera patted him on the shoulder. “Y’know, I think I’m going to get you a date, Cevin.”

  “What?” His eyes bulged, and he glanced around. “Me? I don’t want a date!”

  “Cevin’s got a date?” Jennifer drifted over, looking intrigued. “Hey, guys—”

  “No, I do not,” Cevin said severely. He jabbed a finger at Kera. “I do not.”

  “What’s wrong?” TJ showed up, looking interested.

  “I’m getting Cevin a date,” Kera explained.

  “No, she isn’t,” Cevin told TJ. He glared at Kera. “She just thinks she is. No one wants to get set up with a 40-something bar owner, ladies.”

  Jennifer laughed. “That’s silly, boss. I know a few ladies who’d find you mighty attractive. No lie.”

  “It’s a nice lie,” Cevin retorted, “but still a lie. I’m realistic about my looks.”

  “Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one. But you’re a good businessman who takes care of his employees. That counts for something, doesn’t it? Shows you have a heart.”

  He blinked. “Well, thanks.” He considered for a moment, and then in true Cevin fashion, changed the subject. “Okay, all of you huddle up.”

  “Game plan on the date,” TJ told the rest of them. He quailed when Cevin glared at him. “Sorry, boss.”

  “Right. We’re running a little slow here,” Cevin told them. “Pardon my bluntness, but we don’t really need all three of you on hand. I figure you can draw straws among yourselves.”

  Kera volunteered. “I’ll go. Don’t really need the extra hours currently, and it’s a nice night for an extended ride, I’m thinking.” She’d been itching to take today off anyway. As far as she was concerned, this was a win-win. She might be a little short on cash coming up, but she’d make it work.

  TJ asked, “You sure? I’ll be honest, I could use the money, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

  “Yeah, same,” agreed Jennifer. “We’d feel bad about soaking up your money, but we’ll take it if you insist.”

  Kera nodded. “No, it’s okay. You can have the rest of the night’s profits to yourselves. I’m doing fine, and I’m sure I can make up any shortfall next week. Right, Cevin?”

  “Sure.” Cevin shrugged and retreated to his office.

  The three of them watched him go, then Jennifer turned back to Kera.

  “I want in.”

  “On what?”

  “Getting Cevin a date.” She was positively afire with amusement.

  Kera considered. “Twenty dollars,” she stated and laid out her hand. “Our man’s going to need a new wardrobe, so there’s gotta be a buy-in.”

  Jennifer laughed. “Easy enough.” She extracted a ten and two fives from her pool of tips. “For the next person who joins, though, you should up the buy-in to thirty bucks.”

  Kera had to nod at that. “Good point.”

  “Nuh-uh,” TJ protested. “I’m here at the start. Founding member. Twenty for my share.”

  “Fine, fine. We’ll just tell the rest it’s thirty.” Kera took his money as well. “Don’t blow our cover, okay?”

  “Of course not.” He huddled up with her and Jennifer. “So, how do we start?”

  “Start making notes of the women who are checking him out,” Kera said. “Jennifer, you said you’ve seen some?”

  “Nah, I just know some who might.” Jennifer considered. “I’ll try to lure them in here. See if my hunch is correct.”

  “Not until we get him new shirts,” Kera said. “For now, we just go with the existing pool of…uh, applicants.”

  The others laughed, and Kera clocked out and put her leathers back on happily.

  She couldn’t wait to get home. She’d had an idea she wanted to check out.

  Chapter Ten

  Kera took her time getting home. Her idea was percolating in the back of her head, and she had to give it time to develop. In the meantime, she wanted to get to know the neighborhood. She had no intention of finding trouble tonight, but her race against time to get to the burning building had shown her that she needed to know the streets and the shortcuts.

  If she ever attracted attention, it might help her get away, too.

  There was a lot she hadn’t noticed before, which made her mad at both herself and the gangs that preyed on the populace. The gang members liked to walk with a swagger. They were good at giving off vibes that said, “You should pretend you don’t notice me while I do whatever I want.”

  People usually went along with that. Kera had gotten used to not looking up at certain intersections
and letting her gaze slide away from suspicious knots of people. She had told herself at the time that she wasn’t going to do any good by courting trouble.

  Now, she wasn’t so sure.

  The guy who shot Zee up had clearly been hoping the threat of violence would make them fall into line. Like any bully, he had folded pretty quickly as soon as someone fought back. Kera knew it wouldn’t always be that easy, however. She’d had more trouble with the three gangbangers trying to steal the car. Gangs did resort to violence, and they were good at it.

  What worked for one confrontation might not work again. In the long run, they would begin to follow her. They would target her. If the news had taken notice of her, the gangs would have as well.

  This time as she rode, she took notice of the knots of people clustered on the sidewalks and in the alleys. Most nights, this area was filled with people getting off work, sharing a cigarette or taking a phone call, ready to meet up with friends or duck into a restaurant. Tonight, Little Tokyo was far less occupied than normal.

  Which meant that a lot of the people she noticed had the challenging stare and menacing posture of someone up to no good. They marked corners and glared across intersections at each other, and Kera began to see tags painted on the corners of some of the buildings. One looked like a giant V in a circle, another was a squiggle she couldn’t make sense of but was definitely repeated. There was also what looked like an upside-down U.

  Several times, she thought she felt eyes following her, and she had to trust that the spell she had cast on Zee would be enough to keep anyone from remembering too much about her. It was still difficult even for her to look at Zee when she was home. The spell made her eyes want to slide hastily away.

  Not wanting to disrupt her night with trouble, she headed home after an hour or so of exploring. She was careful to take a circuitous route home in case anyone had been following her, but she hadn’t noticed a consistent pattern of lights in her mirrors.

  Once she was home with the doors locked behind her, she prepared for her experiment by dragging her table closer to the kitchen, leaving her with a big space free in the center of the floor. She took the time to change into workout clothing and left her feet bare for now. Her hair, she tied back in a rough ponytail.