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The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy)

Page 25

by Natasja Hellenthal


  After tethering her horse to a tree, she went around the house and saw the washing out on the line and the whiff of lavender greeted her but no sign of Sula.

  She heard a sound coming from inside the house. On opening the gate to the garden and closing it behind her, she made her way to the door and just when she was about to open it, it flung open and there was Sula. Her normally olive coloured face seemed sallow and she was wide-eyed. Feline was shocked by the sight of her.

  ‘Fel-’ but before Sula could finish saying Feline’s name she stumbled forward towards Feline who luckily opened her arms, catching her just in time.

  She picked Sula up, all heavy and limp; Sula weighed more than she looked but Feline managed to carry her into the garden to get some much needed fresh air. Feline laid her down on the small patch of grass amongst the fresh roses. She patted Sula’s cheeks but when that didn’t bring her to she quickly rushed to their water pump to haul some cool fresh water and splashed it onto her face.

  That did it and Sula roused slowly.

  ‘Easy now girl,’ Feline said with concern.

  Sula opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times, unbelieving, but relieved. Feline stared into Sula’s forest green eyes, thinking, I wish I could stay here with you in your garden forever…to love you amongst the sweet scenting rose petals. Or just become two butterflies dancing around your flowers without a care. What I wouldn’t do for that…

  ‘Feline…’

  Feline on hearing her name said so tenderly awoke from her thoughts, ‘I didn’t know you were that startled to see me, Sula!’

  Sula didn’t smile but rubbed her eyes and lower back, making an attempt to get up.

  ‘No, don’t get up. Sit upright, but stay sat down, breathe in slowly and then tell me what’s wrong with you.’

  ‘Nothing. I just felt a bit queasy.’ Sula avoided her examining eyes, taking a couple of slow breaths through her nose and out though her mouth. Sula noticed Feline wore her sleeves rolled up and she glanced at her bare tanned arms with the fair fine hairs and was fascinated by them. She wore a white linen shirt and brown tights.

  ‘You? You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met! You’re never queasy!’

  Sula locked on to Feline’s eyes then and took a deep breath before speaking in a frail voice, ‘I think I need to tell you something.’

  Feline had never seen Sula so feeble before, so fragile.

  ‘Go on. Has something happened between you and Felix?’

  Sula shook her head. ‘No, he is busy doing his chores on the farm most of the time but at least he is giving me some space. We had another argument but I decided to go away for some days to clear my head, to rediscover myself. I had my bag packed ready to go, but then…then I realised I had missed my cycle by more than two weeks and I never miss my cycle and now…I feel about to explode both physically and emotionally. I’m so bloated, my breasts and tummy, I’m tired and agitated most of the time...’

  ‘You’re…with child?’ Now it was Feline who looked pale-faced and startled.

  Sula nodded, avoiding her eyes. ‘I feel the same way as I did when I carried Fay. It was horrible in the beginning, same as now; feeling faint at times, exhausted, hungry, not wanting intimacy, but then again I do. Oh, I’m such a mess!’

  ‘Where is Fay?’ Feline asked wide eyed.

  ‘Oh, she is with your mum and dad for the day.’

  Feline’s heart sank; she didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. It was hard to tell what Sula thought, although she didn’t look too pleased.

  ‘Are you… alright about it?’ Feline asked her when she composed herself.

  ‘Well yes of course…and no. It couldn’t have come at a worse time.’

  ‘Have you told him yet?’

  ‘No.’ Sula shook her head.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because it cannot be his!’

  ‘What?’ Feline’s eyes grew bigger, but then it suddenly dawned on her and she remembered what Sula had told her.

  ‘Shazar?’

  ‘Who else?!’ Sula shot Feline a hot headed look which almost made her fall back on the grass. Sula had shouted at her, something that she had never done before.

  ‘But, but, you told me it never came to that?’

  ‘I know I did! I can’t remember it properly!’ Sula shouted out again.

  Feline looked upset and near tears and Sula felt sorry for being so angry towards her.

  ‘I’m…I’m sorry for shouting at you, I’m not myself lately. Maybe it’s best if you stay away from me. I don’t like myself very much right now. All my senses are enhanced and I feel grumpy and overwhelmed most of the time.’

  ‘No,’ and Feline shook her head. ‘I have been doing that for too long. I’ve tried, but I’ve missed you and it looks like you need me. If… it’s alright.’

  ‘How come I have no memories of what exactly happened that night?’ Sula asked her confused, tears in her eyes, avoiding Feline’s stare, plucking at the grass.

  ‘With Shazar? I don’t know; he must have used a spell on you.’

  ‘He used pheromones on me; that’s what he did. There’s your spell!’

  ‘But surely that wouldn’t have caused you to completely black-out would it?’

  Sula looked at her with a frightened look in her eyes. For the first time in her life she felt fear; raw and uncontrollable fear. Moreover she felt utterly powerless and out of control, just like she always had in frightening situations during her travels, when her emotions overwhelmed her so much that she couldn’t use her skills. Also, Shazar had broken all the rules and had shattered her trust and admiration for comyentis and not only that, Sula realised once more, she knew so little about comyentis and their ways. And their magic…It was almost as if she heard Feline think.

  Perhaps we were not the good guys after all…What if comyentis were not all that perfect? Sula pondered. ‘I don’t think so, no,’ Sula said aloud.

  ‘Selfish asshole! He used you. Raped you!’ Feline coiled her fists in anger and stood up. ‘Where does he live? Tell me!’

  Sula grabbed one of Feline’s hands and pulled her down to her. This was exactly what she feared if Felix ever found out; his reaction would be the same, or worse…

  ‘Please no, I need you now, here with me. Your calming self. I’ve missed you.’

  Feline was taken aback at that so she nodded. Sula embraced her and Feline felt warm all over and held her tight, their hearts beating closely.

  ‘I’ll get you through this somehow,’ Feline whispered in her ear and inhaled Sula’s familiar scent.

  ~~~

  ‘I’m starting to wonder about this whole Heartmerge thing,’ Sula said after a couple of minutes cuddled in Feline’s arms regaining her strength, drinking her favourite tea with honey, gradually feeling better. ‘Whether it does indeed weaken if not sustained.’

  ‘You have a Heartmerge with Shazar now, Sula. That is why,’ Feline said with insight while stroking Sula’s hair gently.

  Sula looked up at her with big eyes and fresh tears started to well.

  ‘You think?’

  Feline nodded.

  ‘It explains a lot. How else can you explain your aversion of Felix all of a sudden?’

  ‘But I don’t dream of Shazar or even feel anything remotely for him, especially after what he has done to me!’ She shook her head confused and she glanced at Feline for help and comfort.

  And it doesn’t explain why I’m feeling like I do for you, ‘I don’t understand anything anymore! It’s like I’m losing myself completely!’

  She started crying helplessly and Feline held her and rocked her.

  Such a strong woman, what happened to her? If I ever meet this Shazar I’ll show him what I think of him! But…what if it has nothing to do with him? What if this is just her hormones or this mysterious Heartmerge with Felix breaking down slowly; losing its effect on her, but why not on Felix as well?

  ‘You’ve got a little one growing inside of yo
u; that’s why you feel different.’ Feline laid a hand on Sula’s tummy, but felt a bit embarrassed by the intimacy of that so she stroked her hair instead. Feline felt Sula’s heartbeat close to hers, her breath warm in her neck, her soft lips…Lips?

  Sula’s lips were kissing Feline’s neck, soft and warm. Feline let Sula cover her with kisses, motionless but moaning uncontrollably. Sula’s mouth had made her way down to Feline’s collarbone and she now kissed her between her breasts where her shirt had opened. Feline felt for her moist warm mouth and using her hands cupped her face pulling it towards hers and kissed her tenderly. Sula closed her eyes as they found each other’s lips and tongue.

  No, how right this feels but how wrong! Feline thought and shook her head, withdrawing. She held Sula’s face close and whispered with closed eyes, ‘How much I wanted you to do this to me when I first met you, when Felix introduced you. When you hugged me warmly that winter’s day and I welcomed you into our family. How envious I was of Felix and his luck.’ She opened her eyes to look into those of the comyenti.

  Sula sat up straight with her mouth slightly parted. She is so beautiful, out of this world… Feline thought. And she is so very dear to me but…

  ‘I sometimes wish,’ Feline started to say softly, her voice breaking, her clear blue eyes welling up. ‘that it was me on the ice that day and not him. As much as I care for my brother, I have always loved you dearly, from the moment I first laid my eyes on you.’

  Feline’s eyes were big, tears now streaming down her face, wiping them away with the back of her hand.

  ‘But…as much as this excites me; to have you finally within reach, it pains me also, for it’s too late now,’ she held Sula’s hand with the wedding band and they both looked at it. ‘You’re married, you have chosen him and you have Fay to consider.’

  ‘But I love you, Feline. It should have been you that day when I fell down on the frozen river.’

  Feline closed her eyes and sucked her lips in at that and more tears flowed.

  ‘Oh, Sula. The tragedy of it all,’ she held Sula’s hand to her mouth, and kissed it. ‘But in all honesty, if that was the case you wouldn’t have had Fay. And my brother is not a bad man.’

  ‘I know, I do love him but I’m also attracted to you. How is that possible? I always thought I could only give my heart to one person.’

  ‘Perhaps it’s because I remind you of him?’

  ‘Yes and no,’ and a small smile flickered on her face. ‘You’re the female version but you’re calmer, patient. You listen and never judge. You’re wild and free, like me and moreover,’ and she rolled her eyes alluringly, ‘You’re not overpowering.’

  ‘How can we know this is not some… phase you’re in at the moment?’ Feline almost whispered.

  ‘I’ve always admired and loved you and over the years grown fonder of you. But there is only one way to find out,’ and Sula grabbed Feline by her shoulders and made her look at her. ‘Lie with me.’

  Feline’s heart skipped a beat and then started to beat faster. She bit her lip at that and took a moment to gather her thoughts.

  ‘Oh, Sula, please don’t tempt me any further!’ She pulled back a bit. ‘The last thing you need right now, is another Heartmerge, however much we both want it. This is not the answer. And no Heartmerge is needed as I’m already spellbound by you.’

  Sula smiled sadly at that and shook her head slowly.

  ‘A Heartmerge with you is the only answer. There is no need to be afraid,’ To get rid of the memories of both men…

  ‘You’re beginning to sound like Shazar…’ My God, what if he’s inside of her, somehow?

  And Feline backed away, even more in shock, distrusting Sula all of a sudden.

  Sula looked in horror at her, noticing her reaction.

  ‘What is it?’ Sula asked.

  Feline stood and rubbed her chin, surprisingly similar to the way that Felix did, avoiding Sula’s eyes, staring at her roses instead, thinking.

  ‘There is only one way to find out more about this Heartmerge; if Shazar did something more to you than just impregnate you. And that’s not by having sex with me. That won’t solving anything. You have to tell Felix you’re pregnant.’ She hung her head low.

  ‘No, I can’t do that! You know what he’s like! If he learns it’s not his he won’t understand. He can never know!’

  ‘You’re right,’ Their eyes met; Feline’s cold now. ‘Then I see one last option; sleep with your husband.’

  Sula’s mouth opened slightly to protest and swallowed away new tears, feeling rejected. For that was an entirely new feeling to her. Although knowing Feline wanted her, she was indeed the wisest here. For she didn’t want to see her brother get hurt.

  I don’t either, but why can’t I love both? She didn’t say I couldn’t…

  But in the end Sula conceded.

  Chapter 30 The Choice

  The leaves on the trees in the woods were turning golden and the days were shortening. Wind and rain came more frequently now. Sula’s scented roses had all but wilted now and she had collected enough rosehips to make lots of jam with. They had so many berries from the garden and the woods, that the only way to preserve them was to make jam to last them the coming winter, spring and if they were lucky even the summer. Of course there were also all the apples and pears to store in the farmhouse. This was Felix’s task.

  Fay helped Sula by the table in the kitchen. She was quiet and not her usual chatty self and now and then she looked up from arranging all the glass pots for her mother, ready to be filled with the thick jam and gazed at her intensely, only to look away again pensively.

  Of course Sula noticed. Things didn’t stay unnoticed for long between them and she felt sorry for the girl. They were so close and before it had been so easy to share each other’s thoughts without the need to speak as the thought was already on its way to the other. Not so anymore; Sula had deliberately shielded most of her thoughts from her daughter. She felt she had to as the adult things that were on her mind were not for her child’s ears or heart…

  She stirred the sweet contents of the big pan, trying to avoid her daughter’s eyes, whilst feeling guilty. The sweet hot steam rising up from the pan left Sula feeling a bit sick.

  ‘Ah, rosehip jam, mmm, my favourite!’ Felix said stepping through the doorway, closing the door behind him with help from a gust of wind. He rubbed his hands together to warm them and quickly stepped out of his boots and embraced the two of them from behind, cupping Sula’s belly with both hands now, nestling his face in her neck. Sula had her hair up in a high ponytail. She laughed and patted his hand. Fay’s face lit up.

  I’m so happy, Felix thought and Sula heard it clearly.

  She felt the same way; everything seemed to be back to normal since she’d slept with her husband again. She had waited another three weeks to tell him she was pregnant, hiding her symptoms very carefully and Felix as predicted was over the moon.

  But, as much as she tried; her old feelings had not completely returned. The Heartmerge was still there; she could feel her love and affection for Felix, in her heart and her body certainly responded, however not as strongly as before. Every time Felix touched her, she thought of Feline’s mouth and hands. Her mind was clouded; her heart belonged to Feline too, was that why the Heartmerge had not fully re-established itself? Because her heart wasn’t completely open to him?

  She felt like she played a role, putting on an act. Felix had returned to his old self and was content and drank less.

  If it worked for him then why not for me? His heart is only calling out for mine…and mine alone. She clearly remembered his thoughts when they had made love again after many weeks on Feline’s suggestion, Mine, you’re all mine….

  Now that she knew the answer to that question she felt she had to let Feline know. But they had avoided one another and had not seen or spoken to each other since Sula fainted, since their kiss, since that day, three or more weeks ago…

  Felix had not t
hought it strange as Feline often went away on her travels; sometimes without saying farewell and as she had no farm of her own she had no responsibilities.

  Has she left for the sun, the South without saying goodbye?

  Sula’s eyes met her daughter’s examining eyes.

  You’re thinking about aunty… she had heard her daughter speak in her head; for a moment she’d forgotten Fay was there and had left her mind open...

  Sula crimsoned slightly. Yes.

  You miss her terribly.

  I do, Fay. I do.

  Me too.

  Fay looked away from her mother, understanding. She stared out of the window before she said, ‘But you love her,’ Fay said out loud.

  Felix, still holding his wife heard it but misinterpreted it.

  ‘Yes, I love your mother very much.’

  Sula touched Fay’s hair, feeling weak.

  Please, don’t tell your dad. Please.

  Fay met her mother’s eyes again and saw her fear; something she’d never seen before in her and it scared the little girl.

  Slowly Fay nodded.

  A single tear ran across Sula’s cheek. ‘And I love your father, Fay,’ Never forget that, darling. I love them both…

  I understand mummy.

  Fay hugged her parents and together the three of them stood like that for a while.

  ~~~

  The trees were bare now with the air crisp, the sky blue and white clouds racing overhead. Most birds had left for the warmer countries south and it wouldn’t be long before the whole landscape was covered in snow again. Like the birds, Feline followed their migration pattern. She knew Sula was intrigued by this; Feline leaving with Sula’s favourite snow geese and returning with the swallows in spring time.

  Feline glanced up from her mare, Ula, at the trees as they slowly trotted homewards. Usually the blond girl left for her island when the first leaves started falling. Feline and Ula had spent a couple of days in Westland instead near the sea that Feline loved so much. The clouds were moving fast and she thought, again, of Sula.

 

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