I was still very conscious of the hard expanse pressing against my leg, but Grey seemed oblivious as he leaned in and kissed me, and then rolled to his side to nab the remote. He settled in, getting more comfortable and tucking me securely to his chest, as he started flipping through channels.
“Uh, Grey?”
He kissed my temple, his eyes fixed on the screen. “Yeah, darlin’?”
“I, um… What about you?” I asked and slightly rubbed my leg against him.
His breathing hitched, but he shook his head. “No, darlin’. I told you tonight was about you.”
“But…”
“You just gave me a gift, Clara. I know I’m the first to do that to you. I want to do that for a while, let you get more comfortable with me touching you, before we go further. The last thing in the world I want you to feel is pressured to return the favor.”
“But, um, I don’t. I, uh, that was wonderful,” I countered, uncertain.
He grinned cockily. “It most certainly was.”
Not sure how I should phrase this, I decided to be direct. “But I didn’t get to touch you.”
His grin slipped as his eyes went hyper-alert. “Is that what you want?”
“Uh, yeah…”
Wasn’t it obvious?
Instantly, his arms were around me and I was being tugged closer to him as he rolled us. I found myself resting against his chest as he settled on his back. He let me go and placed his hands behind his head, saying, “Have at it, darlin’.”
Oh, wow.
“I, uh… Where do I start?” I questioned, nervously.
“Wherever you like.”
“I, um, am a little under-practiced. Uh, what if I do, um, something wrong? What if it doesn’t feel good…?”
His body vibrated with mirth. “Babe, if your hands are on me, it will be fuckin…’ great. Promise. Do whatever you like.”
Do whatever I like?
Yummy.
The throb was revitalized, and the slipperiness between my legs came back with a vengeance.
“Oh…uh…okay…” I trailed, trying not to sound too excited.
It didn’t work.
Grey’s smirk was knowing.
That smashed another barrier within myself, and I smirked back, feeling a bit naughty.
Whatever my expression said, it caused Grey’s smirk to die. His jaw clenched, and he seemed to be swallowing…hard.
My inner-vixen did a little happy dance.
I straddled his hips with mine and seated myself against him, my core against his hardness. Or, well, his…cock. Was that what I should call it…him? Just thinking the word, a word I’d never before said, made me feel unrestrained, wanton. It amplified my senses even more acutely, the reawakened craving for him now all-consuming.
Grey let out a growl of approval as I rocked my hips slightly, easing the ache, testing the movement. The sound was luscious as it reverberated through his chest – a chest that was at my disposal to enjoy.
An enjoyment I was very much looking forward to.
I leaned forward and kissed him, showing him the same slow deliberateness that he’d shown me. I started with his lips, paying extra attention to them and his tongue, before pressing my mouth to his jaw and neck. My body was on fire as my tongue twirled around his ear before gliding down his neck and shoulders to his chest. His taste was amazing, the sleek, taut muscles absolutely divine. I took one of his nipples into my mouth, mimicking his earlier actions.
It was empowering.
Grey’s breathing was choppy as he watched and felt. I could tell that he liked everything I was doing, because his eyes showed his need, his want. They beckoned me on, daring me, taunting me to finish what I’d started.
As I ground against him harder, my breathing hitched. Every nerve ending was heightened, and the desire grew tenfold. I wanted all of him.
Every.
Single.
Inch.
And there was a lot of them underneath me.
I could feel him, so long and hard. I should have been scared, but I wasn’t…because this was Grey.
My Grey.
I picked up the pace, rocking faster and faster. The sensations were heady, intoxicating, drawing me in deeper. My body jolted and trembled with each second.
“Christ, Clara. This is going to be over before it really starts if you keep looking like that,” Grey rasped.
I didn’t even realize my eyes had closed – I was spellbound – so I was shocked when I opened them and found Grey watching me with a ferocity I’d never seen. It was like he wanted to devour me, own me. Chills pebbled my skin from that alone.
I wanted all those things.
But first…I wanted to see him as he’d seen me.
Quickly, I stood next to the couch. Surprised, Grey protested, “Clara, what-” I stopped him as I grabbed the waist of his shorts and tugged them down. Grey pushed his hips up, allowing me, as I dragged them down his powerful thighs, finally seeing him for the first time.
He was magnificent.
And so much bigger then he’d initially felt.
My mouth went dry.
I couldn’t take my eyes away.
“Clara, you can stop if you’re scared. We don’t have to go any further,” Grey said, misinterpreting my reaction.
I shook my head, whispering, “No. No way. God, you’re amazing, Grey. I’ve never seen…” I pulled his shorts off the rest of the way and threw them over my shoulder.
His eyes blazed again. “Okay, darlin’. Whatever you want.”
I knew what I wanted.
I hitched my leg over his thighs to straddle him again. “Shit,” Grey gasped. “Clara, you don’t – oh, fuck,” he barked as I settled against him, our skin meeting for the first time.
“I just want to feel you against me,” I murmured, and then slowly experimented with my hips, rocking them from side to side, loving the friction.
Grey’s own groan tore from him. He grabbed my waist and tugged me closer. He felt smooth against me, but he was solid, almost like steel.
God, it was like a volcano of pleasure erupted inside me.
Leaning forward again, I placed my hands on his chest and circled my hips. My desire for him coated us both, making each pass against my clit slick and smooth.
Grey’s voice came out gravelly when he spoke. “Christ, Clara. I’m gonna lose it.”
I wasn’t quite sure why, but I thought he wasn’t enjoying what we were doing like I was. It shocked me out of my haze, and I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my actions. I attempted to scramble off of him, but Grey, seeing my reaction, tried to stop me. As I moved away, he pulled me back down to him, but this did something neither of us expected.
A small fraction of Grey’s cock slid inside me.
We stilled, stunned, and stared into each other’s eyes. Grey seemed like he was in pain, but what I was experiencing was far from painful.
“God, Clara… I meant… It was great…amazing…” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “I didn’t want you to stop, but I didn’t mean for this to happen. We have to stop.”
“No,” I whispered, feeling slightly full and marvelously good. “No. Don’t stop. More.” I dropped down a little bit more, impaling myself further, almost all the way. “Yes.” My head dropped back as a unique wholeness settled into my soul.
“Clara, look at me. Look at me, darlin’.” Slowly, I dipped my chin and caught his eyes. “If this is what you want, I’ll give it to you willingly, Clara. I…” He smiled slightly, but it was strained. “It will be no hardship on my part.” His face sobered. “But we can’t go back from here, darlin’. I want you to be absolutely sure this is what you want. I need you to be sure. After this, there will be nothin’ between us, no holdin’ back. You’re mine.”
I didn’t answer with words.
Instead, I started to move.
I forced my body down the rest of the way, whimpering. Somewhere inside of me, the part of myself that had been dormant
for so long, burst free. I moved against him with a fiery passion I couldn’t contain.
“Yours,” I finally whispered back.
Grey’s eyes flared, and he sat up. Suddenly, his mouth was on mine in a ravenous assault. Our mouths opened instantly and our tongues dueled together, playing, taunting…begging for more. I was greedy with my hands; they were everywhere. I felt the hard, powerful muscles of his shoulders and back, digging my fingers into them, clutching him closer. The feel of his chest and the bristly coarse hair against my nipples was heaven-sent. The passion swirling between us was like a tornado crashing through my system, wreaking havoc, breaking me apart at the seams.
His mouth tore from mine, and he licked down my neck, his breaths heavy on my skin. Mine were choppy as I closed my eyes and just felt.
Him.
Me.
Us together.
Our chemistry was mind-blowing.
“Grey,” I cried when he found a particular spot on my neck that sent a shockwave through my system. “More. Oh, God! More!”
His hips bucked against mine, each thrust more powerful than the one before. They were fevered, desperate.
I pulled his hair, forcing his head back so I could slam my mouth on his. Our raptured moans intermingled. “More,” I purred into his mouth as his tongue stroked mine.
He worked his lips down my neck again as we crashed together urgently. Once he was at my breast, he worshiped me with his tongue, tasting the curve of my breasts as he lifted them. Switching back and forth, he licked and sucked at my skin until he found my nipples, tugging them into his mouth expertly, one after the other. The ripples of sensations were almost agonizing.
Sweet, beautiful agony.
Tension formed in my stomach and extended outward, bringing me closer and closer to paradise.
“Grey!” I screamed as his mouth explored more.
“That’s it, darlin’. Let me have that,” he encouraged, his voice tight, rough.
My back arched as a feeling I’d never known gripped my core. It built and built and built, the strain almost too much to bear. It was more amazing than what he did to me before, and I knew it was going to destroy me at its magnitude.
“Yes!” I hissed. “Oh, God. Yes!”
“Hurry, Clara darlin’.” His gravelly voice hit my ears like music, his grunts and heavy breaths almost a symphony.
I screamed as the tension finally broke, and the most exhilarating sensation tore into me. I felt like I was shedding my skin and transforming as the currents extended outward, drowning me.
His shout followed mine, and a surge of warmth hit my womb. I clenched around him, my orgasm peeking to higher pinnacles at the rightness of it all. I’d never felt so right in all my life. It seemed to play on and on and on.
Perfection.
When I came to, my head was tucked against Grey’s shoulder, his tucked into mine. My arms were around his neck and his were around my back, holding me close. It seemed like I was finally whole, the missing part of my soul perfectly in place.
He whispered against my skin, “You okay?”
“Mmm hmm,” was all I could manage.
He must have liked that response, because he twitched inside of me.
I gasped at the unexpected movement, and my toes curled.
Grey laughed and leaned back. With gentle hands, he guided my face from his shoulder so that our gazes could meet, his warm and happy. In that rich and rumbly voice, he said, “Talk to me, Clara. Are you okay?”
The smile that lit my face must have been blinding, because he blinked at me a few times in surprise and then smiled.
“I’m perfect,” I finally answered.
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
His face transformed, gentling. “Where, in all that we experienced together, are you dirty, darlin’?”
I stilled.
Actually, everything in me stilled.
His earlier words and what we’d just shared filled my mind, replaying in loops.
I swallowed a sob as the truth revealed itself to me.
“Nowhere, Grey. I’m clean.”
And yet again, because of this man, pure, irrevocable bliss, one I never thought possible, found me, settling in my heart and soul.
I had never been dirty.
Chapter 16
Clara
My eyes were trained off in the distance, watching the small town pass us by as we drove the short distance to my new home. I did this with my mind working. It was going through last night and this morning, experiencing, yet again, the most amazing, beautiful moments of my life.
Of.
My.
Life.
When Grey explained that if we jumped to another level right before we actually jumped in, feet first, he said that I’d be his, that we would change, and there was no going back. I understood this. Sure, it wasn’t hard to figure out. But I didn’t understand it. I had no idea.
Now that the flood gates were open – and they were definitely open – I found that Grey had been holding back on me.
Like, a lot.
Grey hadn’t shied away from physical contact with me since we’d become involved. And I very much liked that. His touch had a way of lighting my world.
But it’d changed in so many ways.
First, when I woke, I found Grey already awake, watching me sleep. After his gorgeous, gruff voice had whispered good morning, he went on to say that he thought I was beautiful when I slept. This embarrassed me slightly, but when seeing that, he went on to say something even more mind-blowing.
“There’s one thing I’ve come to really like about you, Clara, and that’s your expressions. I love watchin’ your face change, especially when you’re carefree, not hidin’. When you first came here, you were guarded – your defenses surrounded you like a fortress. But as time went on, that wall slowly came down, bit by little bit. Christ, Clara…you should see yourself.
“There are two expressions I thought I loved the most as I came to care about you. One is when you let yourself be, let yourself have fun. You can tell it’s not somethin’ you’d normally do. Your eyes shine like blue, crystal-clear waters. You’re beautiful always, but when that happens, swear to God, Clara, you take my breath away.
“Another is when I catch you starin’ at Bella. The love and devotion you point at her is astoundin’. If I were a stranger, I’d never guess that little girl didn’t come from your body. That’s how powerful it is, darlin’. That’s movin’…so precious. Gotta say, I thought those two were my favorite. The second one, definitely, especially the few times you pointed a look like that at me. Brightened my whole world, Clara…
“But I was wrong. Watchin’ you sleep, your face relaxed and tranquil…stunnin’. And then last night, experiencin’ you lettin’ go, your head thrown back as your body tightened around me, those little noises you made when you came…best night of my life…by far. And I gotta tell you, Clara darlin’, I’m gonna do that a lot…just to watch you.”
After the words had left his mouth, I launched myself at him. It triggered the beginning of the second time we’d made love. It started in bed and then transferred into the shower, where I found out that I should be singing praises to the man’s mouth. I had no idea a tongue could do that.
He rocked my world.
Twice.
Even though we did all this, it didn’t seem that much of a big change in how Grey acted toward me. Yes, we were on new ground when it came to a physical relationship, but the change I saw afterward was the most dramatic, verifying how much he’d held back.
As I got ready and had my breakfast, I found that Grey was always in touching distance. And he used this to his advantage. He’d touch my hair, my face, run his fingers along the small of my back, tuck my hair behind my ears, and he’d kiss me at every opportunity – my mouth, my neck, my temple, my cheek, my fingertips, my hair…anywhere possible.
He was all about me.
Now, even as we drove, his fi
ngers were laced with mine and our hands rested on my thigh. Though his eyes were on the road as he drove, they were also on me.
And I liked this.
All of it.
“What are you thinkin’? You’re all flushed,” Grey teased.
See, watching me!
I lifted a brow at him as the one side of my mouth turned up. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
He gave me a devilish grin that confirmed he already knew.
We’d dropped Bella off with Mrs. Birdie before we left. When Grey found out I planned on taking her with me, he got on the phone immediately. I didn’t see why this was necessary, but then he reminded me about paint fumes. I felt a bit stupid that I didn’t think of that, so I agreed to have Mrs. Birdie watch Bella without so much as a peep.
“Are you gonna have the outside painted?” Grey asked as we climbed out of his Tahoe.
I shook my head. “No, Mrs. Cline said she had it done a few of years ago. I like the white, and it still looks really good…maybe in a few more years.”
He linked our hands again as we walked. “I like the white, too.” He looked up at the house, studying it.
I nudged his arm with my shoulder and pulled the keys out to open the front door. It was a bit cold inside, so I adjusted the thermostat to warm the house a bit. Once that was done, I asked, “Want to see what they’ve done while we wait?”
He was standing by the front door with his hands in his pockets. The sun was coming through the glass behind him, illuminating his outline. It struck me again how compelling he was.
I shook myself out of it as he replied. “I’d love that. Show me the way, darlin’.”
When we entered my bedroom, I was charmed, yet again, by the transformation. “That’s green,” Grey observed as he turned in a circle.
“It’s a soft olive,” I corrected him and then pointed to the crown molding and base boards. “The cream and the hardwood floors makes it pop more. I bought light colored furniture and bedding to make it all come together better. It will be quite soothing when you come in here. At least that’s what I’m hoping. This is a first for me.” I still felt a bit in over my head.
Finding Bliss (Bliss #1) Page 24
