Finding Bliss (Bliss #1)

by Cassie Strickland

  “Clara, I didn’t mean to,” I repeated, not understanding why she was so upset over this. Yes, I heard things I probably shouldn’t, but it was nothing bad.

  “You didn’t mean to?” Her tone was scornful, mocking. “Really? You just snuck in here and heard me talking? Did you get what you wanted? Did you? Now you know everything! How could you?!”

  “Clara darlin’…” I took hesitant steps towards her, keeping my hands in front of her so that I didn’t spook her. “It’s just me, babe. Just me. I’m here.”

  When I was close, she rounded me to get away. I let her, knowing I needed to take my time. Something was going on here that related to the past. I didn’t anticipate her to taking off, running up the stairs, though.

  Shit.

  “Clara!” I shouted, rushing after her.

  She beat me to the room, and the lock engaged as I turned the nob. I could hear her sobs behind the door. It tore my insides in two.

  What did I do?

  Why was this so bad?

  I knocked on the door. “Please, Clara. Let’s talk about this. I know I shouldn’t have listened. I know I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t help it, though. I heard what you said. You said you loved me, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I was overjoyed, darlin’. You have no idea… I was in shock because of it.”

  “Go away, Grey. Just go! I can’t believe you!” She was shouting through her broken sobs.

  Dear God, what did I do?

  “Clara?” I banged on the door again.

  “Just go away, Grey!”

  I laid my head against her door and sighed. “I messed up. I’m sorry, Clara darlin’. Please talk to me.”

  She was more furious than before as she screeched, “Just leave me alone!”

  I did the only thing I could do and left. But I left my heart and soul there with her.

  Chapter 28

  Clara

  I lay on my side, staring at the cold, empty space next to me, where Grey should be.

  God, I missed him.

  I missed his arms around me as I slept, his bare skin against mine. I missed the sweet morning kisses, the way his voice sounded when he woke, all gruff and rumbly. I missed watching his beautiful tawny eyes open for the first time each day, knowing that I was the first thing he saw.

  I bit my lip, forcing back the tears. I’d shed enough throughout the night and barely slept.

  “I’m such an idiot,” I whispered to no one.

  Last night kept resurfacing in my mind. I had no control over myself. Something else came over me, and I was caged in my own mind, watching from the sidelines. I beat on the bars, trying to fight it, but I couldn’t. I was powerless as I watched it make decisions for me and took over my emotions. I watched as it destroyed my relationship.

  I recognized what happened. The thought of being spied on was a trigger for me, and it brought on horrible memories and feelings. It had been a long time since I’d had an episode that bad, though. In the early days after Jonathan, it happened quite frequently, but it had been years.

  Grey did absolutely nothing wrong. Should he have let his presence be known? Yes, he should have. I was expecting him at any moment, though. I should have been listening for him, and I should have picked a better time to talk to Paige about everything. Things like this happen, therefore no one was a fault.

  What he heard wasn’t necessarily bad. I was a bit embarrassed, of course. He heard me tell Paige that I loved him. But some good came from it. I hadn’t realized what I’d been subconsciously feeling until I put them into words with Paige. It was something I needed to get a handle on before it festered and ruined everything.

  Not that I hadn’t already.

  But I knew Grey.

  This wasn’t the end.

  He’d fight for us, tooth and nail. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up this morning, though I had this niggling doubt that he finally saw my craziness and wanted to be far from it. That wasn’t Grey, I had to remind myself. He wanted me for me, and that included all my crazy.

  Little sounds came from the monitor. Bella was awake. Her sheets rustled under her as she moved around her crib, cooing as she played.

  Sighing, I rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Since she was happy, I took my time brushing my teeth and hair. I stared at myself in the mirror for a second, not liking the reflection in front of me. I had dark circles under my eyes, and my face was puffy and splotchy. I ran some cold water and splashed it on my face, hoping it would help, before I pulled on my robe and headed for Bella’s room.

  Seeing her beautiful eyes full of love and trust was all I needed to feel at peace. My anxiety settled as I lifted her into my arms, saying, “Morning, sweetie. Sleep good last night?” She let out a string of garbled, unintelligible sounds as she talked to me. “Is that right?” I asked playfully, grinning at her. She grabbed my cheeks and gave me sloppy, wet kisses. I laughed and wiped the drool from my chin. “You give great sugar, Bella. Thank you. How about some breakfast? Would that make you happy?” She smiled and bounced in my arms, excited.

  Once she was settled in her swing with her morning bottle, I turned on some cartoons for her so that I could make my coffee. I was standing at the windows, looking out at my backyard as I enjoyed my first cup, my mind on Grey again, when Galen came down the stairs.

  I glanced over my shoulder as I heard him. “Good morning.”

  “Morning, girly. How are you feeling?” His tone was laced with concern.

  He had come home last night after a date with Shelley and found me distraught. I couldn’t talk to him, so he left me alone, letting me work it out myself. He knew that it was about Grey, though, since Grey wasn’t home.

  I left the windows and ambled to the island, taking my stool. “Better,” I assured him.

  Galen nodded and made his coffee, frowning. Once he was seated beside me, he asked, “Want to tell me what happened?”

  “Not really,” I mumbled into my mug.

  Galen chuckled. “It can’t be all that bad, Clara.”

  I blew out a breath and placed my mug on the counter. “I freaked out last night,” I explained.

  Galen’s forehead crinkled with confusion. “I’ve seen you get upset at times, but I’ve never seen you freak out.”

  “Think of the last time I got inconsolable, hysterical,” I hinted.

  “It’s been…” His forehead smoothed as his eyes went wide, lights dawning. “Something triggered you. What happened? It’s been forever since that happened.”

  I tucked my lips together, forcing back my tears. The blasted things were such a nuisance. “I know. I was talking to Paige when Grey came home. He heard me say things, things about us…him. It wasn’t anything bad, per say, but I accused him of spying on me. I totally freaked and ran upstairs, locking him out of the room. He begged me to let him in, to talk to him, but I refused. I haven’t heard a word since.”

  “Oh, kiddo…” He took my hand in both of his. “You need to talk to him, explain. Knowing Grey, he’s just giving you a bit of space. He won’t give up that easily.”

  I smiled slightly. “I know.”

  “But you’re afraid to talk to him.”

  “Somewhat…” I trailed reluctantly. “He heard me say some very personal things. I’m…”

  “And you’re scared he’ll turn you away.”

  I nodded. “Yeah…”

  “There’s nothing to be scared of. Couples get into arguments, Clara. It’s part of life. No relationship is perfect. You’ll have many more of these, but you’ve got to find it in you to fight through it, work it out. If you aren’t willing to do that, you’re relationship is doomed to fail before it really begins. Any would be.

  “I know you’ve got that in you, Clara. You aren’t weak, even though you think you are. You’re a warrior, my dear.” He reached up and cupped my face. “You’ve fought some of the toughest wars life has to throw at you, and you’ve won. You might have lost a few battles here and there, but the t
rue wars, the ones that mean the most, you’ve conquered them. This is no different.”

  I was crying by the time he was finished. “Thanks, Galen. I needed that,” I whispered, my voice watery.

  “What you have with Grey is special, Clara. I’ve watched you closely while I’ve been here, and you two remind me of Ava and me. It’s a gift, sweet girl. Don’t throw it away over something fixable.”

  “Okay… I’ll…I’ll go talk to him.”

  “There’s my fighter,” he whispered, smiling.

  “I’ll go get dressed.”

  “You do that.”

  “Can you watch Bella for a bit?”

  “You don’t have to ask.”

  “Thank you for always being there for me, Galen. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

  Something flashed in his eyes, but he hid before I could see what it was. “I’m always here, Clara. Through thick and thin, you can’t get rid of me.”

  I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I know.” I hopped off the stool and grinned. “I’ll be down in a bit.”

  I rushed to the stairs, but the doorbell stopped me. For a brief second I hoped it was Grey, but Grey wouldn’t ring the bell – he’d walk in.

  “I’ll see who it is,” I told Galen before he got up. He nodded as he picked up his mug and the morning paper.

  I dashed to the front door, wanting to get this over with so that I could see Grey, but I saw an unfamiliar man through the glass, standing at the door. Confused, I slowed my steps and approached it cautiously. I cracked the door and the freezing air gushed in, causing me to shiver. I wrapped my robe around me more securely and asked, “Can I help you?”

  “Are you Clarabelle Vincent?” the man questioned.

  “Yes.”

  “You’ve been served, ma’am. I need you to sign here.” He held out a clipboard and waited for me to sign.

  Dread pooled in my belly.

  This is bad.

  Really bad.

  I took the clipboard from him, my hands shaking, and signed. “May I ask what this is regarding?” In the back of my mind, I already knew.

  “Sorry, ma’am. It’s only my job to give you these.” He grabbed the clipboard and handed me a legal envelope, then turned around and left.

  I closed the door and sagged against it, my breathing accelerating. I’d never been more terrified of an envelope. In my recent experience, they only contained something bad.

  Open it, Clara. Get it over with.

  I tore open the top of the envelope and pulled out a stack of legal documents. “Galen,” I yelled. I looked at the first page and scanned through it, my stomach in knots.

  “What’s wrong?” Galen asked as he rushed into the foyer holding Bella.

  I took Bella from him and handed him the papers. “I was served these.”

  I was numb. Completely and utterly numb.

  I watched Galen flip through the pages, reading quickly. His face filled with horror. “The Montgomery’s are suing for custody of Bella, as well as all of Jonathan and Stacy’s assets.”

  I choked down my hysteria. “What are we going to do? You said the will was iron clad. How can they do this?!” Hearing my shriek, Bella started to cry. I bounced her in my arms, smiling down at her to quieten her. Once she was calm, I whispered, “How can they do this, Galen? I can’t lose Bella.”

  Galen scrubbed his face with one hand and sighed wearily. “Come sit down, Clara.”

  I didn’t like his tone. Something was off.

  I followed him into the living room, my terror mounting. Bella was my life now. It would kill me to lose her. I couldn’t believe Teresa or Oliver would go along with this. Al and the siblings from hell, yes, this was something they’d more than happily do.

  I placed Bella in the middle of her blanket on the floor and gave her some toys. I needed to concentrate while we figured out what to do. Once she started entertaining herself, I joined Galen on the couch. He stayed quiet for a few moments, watching me with an agonized expression.

  “You might hate me once you hear what I have to say.”

  Thrown, I immediately replied, “I could never hate you, Galen.”

  Keeping his gaze fixed on mine, he explained, “We could have fought the stipulations of the will. It wasn’t as solid as I made it seem.” My breathing stopped. “I saw this town as a way of getting you out of your comfort zone. I thought it would be better for you to be here than in Chicago.”

  He lied to me.

  He deceived me.

  I shook my head, dazed and speechless.

  “I made the decision as your father rather than your lawyer. It was wrong not to give you the option, but since you’ve been here, you’ve grown…you’ve shined. I won’t take it back, Clara. I won’t. I’m happy that you have found a life here…that you’ve found Bella and Grey.”

  His eyes became misty. “If I lose you over this, I still won’t regret it. You’re living, sweet girl. You’re finally happy. That’s why I did it. I knew you’d have a chance here. I saw the way you looked at Grey, and I hoped that he’d help you. And he has.”

  “Galen,” I whispered, not sure what I wanted to say. “I…”

  “This was why I came early. Once you knew Bella had more family, I had a feeling they’d do this. And after meeting the Montgomery’s, I feared it was more than likely.” He shook his head and pressed his lips together to keep his emotions in check.

  “But… How? I mean…” What did I mean?

  “I know.” He took my hand. “I’m sorry. We’re going to figure this out. I’m so sorry I lied to you.”

  I pushed to my feet and marched to the fireplace. I rested both hands on the mantle and hung my head. I had to think. I had to figure out how I felt about this.

  This was Galen. The man that always had my best interests at heart. But this… I could have gone back to Chicago. I would still be working for him, and I’d still have Paige close. My entire life wouldn’t have been turned upside-down.

  On the other hand, I wouldn’t be in Bliss now if I’d known the alternatives. I wouldn’t have Grey. I wouldn’t have Sam, Emma, or Brad. I wouldn’t have Mrs. Birdie, Chelsea, and, much to my amazement, Adam. Tears leaked from my eyes at the thought of never having any of them in my life.

  Decision made, I ambled back to the couch and sat with Galen, taking his hands in mine. “I understand.”

  He blinked, surprised. “That’s it? Aren't you going to yell and scream?”

  “You lied to me, Galen. You’ve done things that would normally be unforgivable. But our lives, all these debacles we’ve faced because of Jonathan, are far from normal.” I smiled at him. “You’ve been with me every step of the way, and I owe you for that, but you’ve got to stop making decisions for me because you think it’s best. I’m not a little girl anymore, Galen. I’ve got to make these choices on my own.

  “Nevertheless, I’m glad you didn’t tell me. In finding Bliss, I found love and friendship. I’ve found my home.” My face gentled. “Yes, you lied. But I get it, Galen. I understand why you did it, and I’m thankful for it. I would have run back to Chicago the first chance I got. You saved me from myself. My life is brimming now.”

  He swallowed hard and then hugged me, his arms spasming with relief. “Thank God. I was so worried you’d find out and never speak to me again.” His words shook. “Thank you, Clara. I was…”

  “Shhh, Galen. It is all right.” I leaned back and kissed his cheek. “Just don’t ever do it again, okay? No more lies between us.”

  “I promise. I’ll never lie to you again.” He wiped his eyes, getting himself under control.

  I relaxed back into the couch and took his hand. “So… What do we do now? I cannot lose Bella.”

  After taking in a calming breath, he picked up the papers again. “I need to spend some time studying these.” He flipped through the pages. “They filed the motions in this county, so I’m guessing Al and his children were doing this while Oliver and Teresa kept us busy.”
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  The betrayal stung. I really liked Oliver and Teresa.

  Was the whole setup a rouse to get information out of us?

  Was it all a big, fat lie?

  Or was this just Al’s doing?

  Galen sighed. “We’ve got a month to prepare. We have to appear in court at the beginning of February.”

  “Do you think they have a leg to stand on? They hadn’t seen their daughter in years.”

  Galen’s jaw clenched as he read some more. “I’m not sure just yet. As I said, I need to read into this some more.” He sat the papers to the side and then stared at me, his face set with determination. “We will fight this with all we have. I won’t let you lose Bella, Clara. I won’t.”

  I was relieved by this, but only a bit. I cursed the stupid letter that brought that horrible family into our lives. I looked to Bella, my heart aching. I’d fight to the death for her.

  “We have some time to prepare,” Galen went on. “I’m going to have to go back to Chicago to take care of a few things, but I’ll be back. Don’t worry.”

  “I know I can count on you.” There was no doubt in my mind.

  “I’ve got some work to do and phone calls to make.” He tapped his fingers on the paperwork. “Why don’t you go get dressed and head over to Grey’s? You need to get that worked out first.”

  I sighed. “You’re right.”

  ♥♥♥

  Mrs. Birdie was humming to herself in the kitchen as I let myself in the back door. She glanced over her shoulder when she heard me and gave me a toothy smile.

  “Hey, sweetie. I hope you came to talk to Grey.” She winked. “He’s been in the worst mood. He’s locked himself in his office and has practically growled at Sam and me all mornin’.”

  I smiled slightly, but it was pained. “Yeah, I came to talk to him.”

  Seeing my turmoil, Mrs. Birdie asked, “You okay? You two have a fight or somethin’?”

  “Or something…” I wasn’t going to explain it.

  She nodded compassionately. “Okay, dearie. Go on back and work out whatever it is. I’m sure he’ll be overjoyed to see you.”