“He deserved none of what happened! And I bet this is why Dad doesn’t want to be with you, cos you’re a nasty cow!”
“Levi, how dare you!”
“No, how dare you say those things ‘bout Ash? You know nuthin’ ‘bout what he’s been through—”
“Stop speaking to me like that!”
“No! You’re too wrapped up in bringing everyone down that you walk all over people. Ash did nuthin’ wrong, yet you still trash his name. Well, I’ve had enough of it!” He stormed out of the dining-room, too angry to look at his mother. Why the hell had he blamed his father for leaving? It was his mother’s self-righteous streak that had ruined the family.
She followed him into his bedroom. “That horrid boy sullied your sister, yet you still defend him. Isaia attacked her, yet you’ve already forgiven him too.”
“I haven’t forgiven Isaia! I haven’t seen him since he punched me. And Ash is just a kid who got used.”
“He used Tiana, not the other way round.”
“I didn’t mean Tiana. Just stop talking to me and get outta my room.”
“This is my house, I can damn well be in here if I want.”
“Then maybe Tiana had the right idea, maybe I should move out and live with Dad. Or even better, I can get a job and get my own place.”
She looked panicked. “No, Levi, your schooling.”
“I might as well quit now, cos I’m failing half my subjects, but I guess you didn’t realise that cos you were too busy criticising Tiana for getting B’s.”
“You never told me.”
“I gave you that letter from the principal, but all ya did was tell Aunty ‘bout how brilliantly I was doin’ at school even though it said I rarely turn up. And you wanna know why I don’t go? Cos I can’t understand half of what they’re teaching me. I never wanted to take those stupid science subjects, but you forced me to.”
“I … but … I don’t understand, you used to be so good at science. I just assumed—”
Hurt, he glared at her. “That’s your problem, you’re always assuming. I knew you didn’t look at the letter. Well, I might as well move out, cos you only care ‘bout what Tiana does.”
“I missed one letter and you think I’m neglecting you?”
“It’s not just that. You never come to my school stuff, but if it’s Tiana’s you’re straight there.”
“So, this is about jealousy?”
“God, no! I’d rather be ignored than treated like shit.”
“Levi!”
“Well, it’s true. I can be high on drugs, yet if Tiana’s half an hour late you’re on her case.”
She gasped, “You take drugs?”
“Cocaine, marijuana, whatever’s on offer.” He didn’t care anymore if she knew, never really hid it in the first place, if anything it upset him more that she’d never noticed. He understood why his dad didn’t, he was usually working, but his mum didn’t have that excuse.
His mother started crying.
Levi cursed under his breath, guilt now replacing anger. He threw up his hands. “Don’t do that, Mum.”
Her shoulders shook. “How do you expect me to act after you tell me such horrible things? You used to be respectful, not a bad-mouthed criminal who takes drugs. I want my beautiful boy back.”
“I’m not a boy anymore, and I’m not a criminal. Why would you say that?”
“Taking drugs is illegal. What if the police caught you? You could go to jail.”
“It’s only recreational, not like I sell the stuff.”
“It’s still illegal and bad for you. You have to stop taking them.”
“I don’t use that much.”
She placed her hands on his arms, her cheeks shiny with tears. “Please promise you’ll stop, Levi. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”
He dropped his gaze, not sure how to react. He’d asked for this, asked for her attention, but now he’d gotten it he wasn’t sure he liked the disappointment in her eyes. Maybe this was what Tiana felt every day.
She squeezed his arms gently. “Please, boy, promise me you’ll stop.”
“Why should I? You don’t keep your promises.”
“I do so.”
“I heard you promise Dad you’d get a job and you never have.”
She let go of his arms.
He looked back up. “So, why should I promise then?”
“I’m not breaking the law or damaging my health. And I haven’t worked in years, all I’ll be able to get is some shop job that pays me a pittance and makes me feel ashamed and miserable. I don’t have the qualifications to get anything better, which is why I’m so hard on Tiana. She’s too much like I was when I first came to New Zealand, too concerned about boys, or in my case men. I came here to get a degree, and what did I do? I met your father and got married instead of finishing my education. I don’t want Tiana to end up like me, with nothing to show for at the age of forty.” She touched his cheek. “Yes, I have two beautiful children, but after you and Tiana leave what will I have? I don’t even know if I have your father anymore.”
“Please stop crying, Mum, I won’t move out. I was just mad, I didn’t mean it.”
She wiped her cheeks. “And I don’t mean to be so harsh on Tiana, and I certainly don’t mean to ignore you, Levi. I didn’t even realise I was doing it. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“It’s alright, not like I’m perfect.”
She kissed his forehead and smiled. “Now… this problem with school. I will make an appointment to sort things out with your principal, but you also have to do something for me.”
“What?”
“Stop taking drugs.” She frowned. “Don’t shrug at me; you have to take responsibility too.”
“I guess so.”
“No guessing about it, boy, you will listen and listen good, because I will not have you taking drugs anymore. Do you hear me?”
He exhaled loudly. “Okay, but only if you talk to Tiana, she’s having a hard time, so you needa be supportive, not critical. And also don’t judge her boyfriend; the guy’s been hurt real bad.”
She smiled at him. “You’re such a compassionate boy, always thinking of others.”
Compassionate? He didn’t think so. “Not really, if you’d heard what happened to him you’d feel the same way.”
“I doubt it, and I wouldn’t allow myself to, because if I did I couldn’t protect you and Tiana properly. There are people you need to be wary of, and this boy is one of them. Think about it, a lot of criminals have had something horrible happen to them, that’s why they’re like the way they are, and with this boy’s background, what do you think he’ll grow up to be like? Probably just like his father and stepfather.”
“No, he won’t! That’s a nasty thing to say.”
“Maybe, but it’s reality. Now tell me the truth, do you want your sister to be associated with him after knowing what he’s been through?”
He grimaced, again feeling like a hypocrite. “Not really.”
“And why?”
“Cos what his stepfather did has damaged him. He’s not stable.”
“Precisely. And what do you think will happen if he takes Tiana back?”
“She’ll get hurt.”
34
Tiana
Wiping her tears, Tiana headed out the front door and down the path. She had too many thoughts running through her mind, her initial feelings of being used now overridden by guilt. Of course Ash was hurting, but for him to ever think that she could find him disgusting made her retrace her actions. Was it because of his attack or had she done something to make him feel that way? She’d been trying to remember what she’d said, but couldn’t find anything other than she’d been a bit pushy. No, she hadn’t been a bit pushy, she’d been very pushy, which is why she had to apologise.
She opened the gate then stopped, surprised by who was coming out of Salma’s house. Joel jumped down the steps, with the queen bee herself following close behind. Levi’
s ex glanced in Tiana’s direction. Salma waved at her then grabbed Joel and kissed him, probably in the hope that Tiana would go running to Levi. The girl took every opportunity to make Levi jealous, although as far as Tiana could tell it never worked.
After Salma had finished kissing Joel, he turned around with a big grin, which quickly disappeared upon seeing Tiana. He ran towards her, yelling at Salma, “Catcha later!”
“Most definitely, gorgeous!” Salma replied as she walked backwards with a self-satisfied smirk.
Joel crossed the road, stopping in front of Tiana. “You won’t tell Lavinia ‘bout that?”
“Not like she’d care.”
Joel looked like she’d slapped him in the face. “I do, so keep it to yourself.”
Tiana resumed walking. “I will, and by the way, Salma and you make a perfect couple, cos you’re both horrible.”
He grunted behind her. “Salma’s a sweetheart, so don’t gimme that jealous shit.”
Tiana spun around. “Jealous? I can’t stand you, why would I be jealous for?”
“After last night nuthin’ you say can bring me down, cos I finally got a piece of the Samoan babe.” He laughed. “She hit on me so hard I didn’t know what happened. One minute I wuz with Jody Berry, then the next thing I know Salma’s dragging me into her room.” A leer spread across his face. “She rode my cock so hard I thought she wuz gonna snap it off.”
“You’re disgusting!”
“Not like you haven’t done that to Ash.”
Tiana felt her cheeks burn. “You know nuthin’ ‘bout what me and Ash have done, that’s private.” She started walking again.
“What I did with Salma is private too, so don’t go blabbing it to Lavinia.”
“I already said I wouldn’t.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“That’s your problem.” She stopped at the corner, waiting for traffic to clear.
“Where ya goin’?” he asked.
“To see Ash.”
“He said he broke up with you.”
She turned her face away from him, upset that he knew.
“You’re not crying, are ya?”
“No.”
“Well, if you are there’s no point, cos I’m sure Ash will take ya back.”
She looked back at him, surprised he was being nice. “You really think so?”
“Yeah, otherwise he would’ve dumped your skanky ho arse after you cheated on him.”
“I didn’t cheat on him!”
Joel blew out air. “No use preaching to an unbeliever, religious girl.”
“Go away.” Tiana ran across the road.
Joel followed. “There’s no use tryna ditch me,” he said, jumping up onto the opposite kerb, “cos I’m goin’ to see Ash too. I wanna know why he left Salma’s party. I came back inside and he’d gone. Next thing I know I’m pulled away from the chick I’d just fucked for more with Salma.”
“You already told me that!”
He smirked. “Gotta keep saying it, cos I still can’t believe it. Can’t wait to tell Ant and Marko, those two are gonna be so freakin’ jealous.”
“Why was Ash at Salma’s party right after he said he doesn’t wanna be round people?”
“He wuz after drugs, and if he’d just waited a bit longer I would’ve given him some. Well, maybe a lot longer, cos I can hold out for ages before I spurt—”
“Shut up!”
He laughed. “Spurt, spurt, spurt…”
“You’re infantile.” Tiana picked up pace, more upset over Ash looking for drugs than Joel’s vile words.
Joel lengthened his strides. “Apart from your looks, I don’t know what Ash sees in you. But then again, I don’t know what you’re like in the sack, might be worth all the agro.”
She gritted her teeth.
He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out. “You want a lolly? Might help your personality.”
She glanced at his hand. “What’re ya talking ‘bout?”
“Salma gave me some E.”
“What’s that?”
“Ecstasy.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s a drug, clueless.”
She pushed his hand away. “I don’t want it then.” Idiot, moron, loser…
He put them back into his leather jacket. “Whatever, more for me and Ash.”
She stopped. “Is that what he wanted last night? Those pills?”
“No, he wuz after meth, but I could only find a li’l bit of coke.” He patted his pocket. “And I got the E from Salma for bein’ a stud.”
“Coke?”
“Don’t tell me you think I’m talking ‘bout Coca-Cola, you stupid bitch?”
Tiana felt her cheeks heat again. “How would I know?”
“And people call me dumb.”
“I’m not dumb!”
“You live in Claydon and you’ve never heard of cocaine, that’s dumb.”
“I’ve heard of it, but I’m not stupid enough to use it.” She closed her mouth, realising she’d just called Ash stupid … and he wasn’t. Then why did he take drugs? Was it because of his cousin?
He glared at her. “Just cos I use doesn’t mean I’m stupid, I know my limits.”
“It’s illegal, and I don’t want ya giving that rubbish to Ash either.”
“You don’t have a say, and spare me the innocent Catholic act.” He started talking in a breathy girl’s voice. “My name’s Tiana Fellatio and I can do no wrong, so please believe me, Mr. Priest man, when I say that I don’t know how that cock got in my mouth.”
“Shut up! And stop following me!” Tiana stalked off. She could hear Joel laughing behind her, infuriating her even more. She turned onto Pleasant Parade and headed along the road, trying her best to pretend that he wasn’t next to her.
“You can dish it out, but ya can’t take it back, can ya?” Joel said.
“Stop talking to me.”
“Nope, don’t wanna, and anyway, why aren’t cha at netball with Lavinia?”
“I’m not feeling well, so go away or I’ll give ya my germs.”
“Not like I’m gonna kiss ya.” Sniggering, he pulled out a condom packet from his jacket. “But since you like sucking cock so much, I’ve got protection.”
She shoved him. “I don’t know why Ash is friends with you!”
“Cos he thinks I’m funny,” he laughed, righting himself.
Tiana bit her bottom lip to stop from reacting again. Just looking at the creep infuriated her. She didn’t know how poor Lavinia put up with him.
She picked up pace, walking through Hunter’s gate. Joel pushed past her and knocked on the front door. Footsteps approached then the door swung open, revealing a sleepy-eyed Hunter.
“What do you want?” Hunter grunted.
Tiana edged in front of Joel. “To see Ash.”
“He broke up with you, so bugger off.”
Joel moved Tiana out of the way. “Lemme in, I wanna know why he ditched me at the party last night.”
“So, you’re responsible for how he is today?” Hunter said.
Joel took a step back, banging into Tiana. “Wait a mo. He’s the one who came to me, not the other way round.”
“Tiana’s brother brought him home, said some tart tried to force herself onto Ash. You know he’s been hurt, yet you take him to a place like that. What’s wrong with you?”
“Hey, he wuz fine when I left him in the lounge.”
Hunter leaned forward and bared his teeth. “He’s been through shit and you left him by himself?”
Joel held up his hands, his expression worried. “I thought he was okay. Honest. He said he wuz.”
“He’s far from okay, fool. You have no idea what that boy’s been through. Some friend you are. Now, piss off.” Joel stepped backwards as Hunter’s attention moved to Tiana. “Thank your brother for bringing Ash home. He took off when I realised who he wuz. Tell him his slate’s clean.”
She nodded, Levi’s defence of Ash this morning now making sense, though she w
ondered what Hunter meant by Levi’s slate. “Is Ash alright?”
“Are ya deaf? I just said he wuzn’t. He’s sleeping. So, go bug someone else.” Hunter closed the door on her.
Joel tugged on a loose dreadlock. “I thought Ash wuz happy; otherwise I wouldn’t have left him alone. It wuz just damned lucky that your bro wuz at the party, aye?”
“Yeah.” Though, Tiana couldn’t understand why Levi was there, especially considering how much he hated Salma. But then again, Levi did love parties.
“I better get home,” Joel said, “cos my dad’s pro’bly spazzing over me bein’ out all night.”
She followed him down the path. “I wonder who the girl was that upset Ash? Didja see him with anyone?”
“Nope, he wuz by himself the last time I saw him, but I’d love to find out who that bitch was, so I can tear her a new hole.”
35
Ash
Monday, September 18.
Ash stared at Wera High from across the road. Kids piled under the archway, the majority in uniform with a sprinkling of seniors dressed in mufti. It had been three weeks since he’d been to school. The day after Salma’s party Hunter had taken him to the police station. Ash had told them about the bouncer, then his cousin had gotten him out of Auckland. They’d spent two weeks up in Dargaville with his grandparents and siblings. Seeing the twins again had been nice, but not Dante. His brother had skirted around him, unable to look him in the face, and unintentionally reminding Ash about what Dante must’ve seen. And then there was the funeral, which Hunter had talked him into going to, no matter how much he wanted to run from it. The condolences and mourning relatives had been hard enough, but when his Uncle Luka had given him a bear hug he’d totally flipped out. He knew his uncle hadn’t meant to upset him, that there was nothing sinister behind it, but he couldn’t help the panic that had overwhelmed him.
Ash tried to block out the memory which, like so many others, he’d wished he’d never experienced. Without looking, he stepped out onto the road. A car slammed on its brakes and honked its horn. He ignored it and kept on going, causing another car to do the same, with the driver slinging a world of abuse at him. Students turned to see what the noise was. He walked past them, snapping at a short boy for banging into him. He hadn’t told Hunter that he was going to school today, but then again, he hadn’t planned on coming either. He’d wanted to see his old home without the police tape, to pretend for a moment he was back in the past, but instead he’d ended up here, distracted by the flurry of students.
Graffiti Heaven Page 21
