But that’s still not right.
But…I’m also up for retirement in…ninety days. I hadn’t planned on retiring yet, but I could. And if I did retire the amount of money I’m to be paid into retirement would cover the cost of her treatment assuming I lived just another ten or fifteen years.
But…what if I didn’t retire? What if I turned in my badge the day before I qualified?
Sure, I’d look like the biggest weirdo in the history of all government employees ever, but I don’t care. I’d basically be giving up the pension that I earned in return for saving May. And not only would I be giving up my pension, but a whole lot more. Technically I’d be taking a huge loss on the deal even though I’d basically be taking the payment now and not over however many years I live.
In simpler terms can I justify walking out on the money that I would have made in retirement, and instead have the insurance company pay for the surgery for May? The insurance company would pay a lot at once, but it would be a lot less than the government would have paid me in retirement. And the insurance company pays out from the money the government employees, like me, pay in. So it’s kind of like robbing Peter to Paul. But at the end of the day the money that goes to May’s surgery is less than I would have made in retirement. The benefit is the money comes now and it saves her life. Saving her life is a no-brainer. The problem is can is trying to “justify” doing this? My justification is both saving her life, which is most important, and that it actually results in the government paying out less...paying the hospital now versus paying me in retirement which in turn is a savings for the U.S. taxpayer.
But if I quit my insurance stops.
But if we get the hospital to bill everything up front and I submit the paperwork while I’m still employed then it could work.
But will the provider of our policies really pay half a million dollars in a lump sum to a fiancée? That’s questionable…except for the fact that I’ve helped out the policy administrator’s family more than a time or two, including making sure to swing by their offices on my shift a few times a week.
It’s not perfect, but it’s not so imperfect either. It’s definitely in the gray area, and I hate that part, but at the end of the day I’d be giving up a half a million or probably a lot more just to get a half a million right now…and that would keep May alive.
And what’s the point of money anyways? It’s a tool to use to improve your life and the lives of your loved ones.
I turn on the lights and wrestle with the thought.
As much as I try and talk myself into it I still know it’s not right. I’m a man who’s always done things by the book and this is definitely not by the book.
But the most important book right now is the story of May’s life and there’s no way I’m allowing the final chapter to be written at age twenty-two.
Then the strangest twist of irony hits me.
If you asked me this morning, or any morning of my life for that matter, if I thought I’d ever get married I would have busted out laughing in your face. But now that’s exactly the plan.
But there’s even more irony because I never would have considered the idea…until I saw her today.
And it’s not because I’m not exactly a spring chick anymore. It’s solely because of her.
She made me feel in a way I’ve absolutely never felt before.
I could literally imagine a future with her. I want a future with her.
So now we’re going to embark on a…fake future?
And then the sixty-four thousand dollar question. How long will it stay fake?
Or more accurately how long will I be able to pretend?
CHAPTER 5
Steven
“You got…engaged?” Monika our HR rep asks me.
“Yeah, just this morning.”
“But I…I…I didn’t know you were even dating anyone.”
“You know how it is when you find the one, right?”
“Well, I mean—“
“Look how happy you are in that picture,” I say pointing down to the picture of her and her husband in some Caribbean Island.
“And you were only dating Geoff for what?”
“Seven years.”
“Seven years. Right. But I’m sure he knew from the moment he met you.”
Monika just shakes her head.
“Well then. Okay. I’ll tell my girlfriend Cindy you’re off the market then. I mean I’ll tell city hall that we need to redo your package.”
“Thanks. Yeah, I was wondering if there was any way we can speed that up.”
“Speed it up? What do you mean?”
“Well, you know. We just got married and all and we’re still feeling pretty. That and I’m getting older of course. No need to wait to get our family started.”
“I don’t even know, you’re seeing someone and you’re suddenly engaged and talking about starting a family?”
“Part of being a good detective is learning how to go through life being undetected myself, right?”
Monika shakes her head again. I think she’s buying it, but she sure is surprised. I’m also surprised that I’m not only doing this, but how easy it seems. How natural it is. Not the making this story up part but the thought of being with May, but this whole thing is still so new and so strange to me.
I called her not more than an hour ago on my way into work and told her the plan. She couldn’t stop thanking me which made me feel good. But what really made me feel the best was being able to honor the commitment I made to her father without telling her I planned to quit just before I was up for retirement.
“Well, congratulations Detective Shield…I guess,” Monika says.
“Thanks.”
“When are we going to meet this lucky lady?”
“I’m not sure yet. You know with the way the schedules are set these days and all.”
“Well there’s a charity function tonight and it’s mandatory for anyone not working at that time to attend.”
“Charity function tonight?”
“Yeah, it’s the night we auction off the officers for charity. You remember I’m sure. You’ve set the record how many times now?”
“Right. That. Well, I guess I won’t be participating this year.”
“But you can still come and support the event. Chief mandated it, remember.”
“Got ya,” I say, realizing this is about to get a lot more complicated than I expected.
“And can we expect to see,” she pauses and looks down at the paper. “May is it? Like the month?”
“Yes, May. I’m not sure if she’s free tonight, but I’ll do my best to bring her.”
“Please do. I’d like to meet the lady who finally landed the big fish.”
“Big fish?”
Monika winks. “My friends are going to be so disappointed,” she says.
And May and I are going to have to put on a performance of our own this evening. One that certainly doesn’t disappoint if we want to pull this off.
CHAPTER 6
Steven
“Before we get started tonight I’d like to take a moment to propose a toast and to congratulate one of our favorite detectives. One who is now officially off the market.”
A few heads turn scanning the room looking for clues on who the chief might be referring to. I haven’t told anyone yet, so all this must be coming from Monika.
A few of the ladies look through their programs. Each officer has his own page in tonight’s program. It tells a bit about his life, his career, and of course a few measurements like biceps, chest, and shirt size. That and how many cases he’s worked on…the most interesting thing he’s come across…things of that nature.
And unfortunately there I am on the last page. I was supposed to be the final auction of the night. The last officer who brings in the most. The final chance to get a date with a cop. I have to admit the event was fun and for a good cause, but I’m lucky to not have to participate this year although I know a few of the
ladies in attendance won’t find it so lucky.
Miss Lewis from Pasadena had purchased me three years in a row. We did everything from have dinner to playing doubles tennis with what seemed to be her entire group of girlfriends. Fortunately she never pushed the envelope or insinuated at anything sexual, like Miss Long did. Jeez I just remember how she tried to tell me her last name was Long for a reason. Because she could handle each and every last inch. I was lucky to escape that date with my clothes not ripped and shredded as much as she was grabbing at me.
But those days are long gone thankfully. Now it’s time for the other officers to set new records and for junior officers to experience the action…figuratively and quite possibly literally in some cases.
“Please raise a glass for Detective Shields and his lovely fiancée May,” the chief says.
I feel May’s knee find the back of my calf and I try my best to hold back a smile. I don’t look down at her knowing doing so would set us both into a frenzy of laughter.
“Shield?” a few voices say.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I raise my glass high in the sky and turn to May. We clink glasses and then take a drink as does the rest of the room.
And then it starts.
Lieutenant Ferguson clinks his glass with a spoon soon to be followed by a lot of other officers.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” fills the banquet room.
A verifiable pattern of romantic behavior. That line of fine print from the department’s insurance policy starts running through my mind.
There’s no way a newly engaged couple wouldn’t want to put on a public display of affection right? But half of these guys here haven’t ever seen me with a woman seeing that I’ve been married to my job all these years.
But there’s a big pink elephant in the room that only I know about. The truth, and I’m not talking about what May and I are up to.
The truth is I want to kiss her. Badly.
I’m not so sure I needed all these people here to witness our possible first kiss, but I guess when in Rome…
I turn to face her and she’s already looking up at me. Somehow she seems closer. I don’t want to take my eyes off of hers but I quickly look down at the floor and see she’s standing on her tiptoes.
Does she want this as bad as I do? My career revolves around reading people and body language. Her body isn’t lying. She does.
My right hand comes up finding her cheek. I run my thumb along that smooth skin. That same creamy skin I admired yesterday in the coffee shop is now in my hand.
I push back a lock of her hair as I watch her chest heave up and down. As much as I’m trying to control my own breathing I know the pace of my breath is right in line with hers.
This is real. This is so real.
I lean in and just before I close my eyes I see her eyes close. As my face gets just inches from hers I stop, feeling the heat from her skin and her breath.
I pray that no one is looking at my trousers right now because I’m definitely not concealing the pistol that’s in my pants right now. I’m locked and loaded and have that thing drawn and ready to fire. She’s taken me from zero to sixty in no time flat.
I move in closer, knowing our lips are separated by no more than a couple of inches.
I can’t resist anymore.
I gently place my lips on hers and feel her lean up and into mine.
I want to devour her right here and now, but that’s not how I treat a lady…my lady. She is isn’t she?
I pull back and just look at her. Her eyes take an extra couple seconds to open but when she does they’re as wide and focused as I’ve ever seen them. Her pupils are dilated and I’m sure she sees the same thing as she looks into mine.
I feel a pat on the back, but it takes me a second to turn around and acknowledge it. I’m still fixated on her.
“Congratulations, detective,” the chief says.
The chief?
He must have come down off the stage and approached us without my noticing. And now I suddenly notice that everyone is clapping and hooting and hollering. But it hasn’t just started. They’re well into it. I didn’t even hear the cheers break out.
I was completely lost in her. Gone. Focused on the only thing that mattered.
Her. Pretending to be hers and that she was mine.
Pretending…right?
CHAPTER 7
May
One week later
“How’s everything going with the doctor?” he asks as we settle into our table for dinner. It’s a nice Italian spot outside the city a bit where we can go over the plan while enjoying a meal in dimly lit peace.
“Good. Thanks. He’s just waiting on the paperwork and then we can proceed.”
“I’m expecting that by the end of the week. HR is rushing it through we should be set on that soon.”
“Have you thought about the best way to go about it?”
“I have. There’s a window where I need to have a physical taken every year. I’m in that window right now so once the paperwork goes through I’ll schedule my physical and you can come with me and have a physical of your own.”
“That’s a good idea actually,” I say. He doesn’t immediately reply as the waiter fills our wine glasses with a nice Cabernet. Once the waiter leaves I prepare my follow-up. “Are you still okay with everything?”
“Yeah. I am,” he says.
“Thank you again for doing this,” I say, putting my hands palms down on the table.
“You know you don’t ever have to thank me,” he says laying his palms in mine. “But you’re welcome.”
He big hands engulf mine. He gives me a gentle squeeze and everything feels right. I feel so protected and safe whenever I’m around him, and so small and exposed to the whims of the world when I’m not.
He suddenly laughs and then pulls his hands back, placing them on his head.
“What?”
“I almost forgot to tell you. One of the ladies at work asked me about our vows. She asked me if I’d started writing mine yet.”
“And?” This could get interesting.
“I told her I was going to go with the standard ones.”
Steven takes a drink.
“And?”
“She didn’t seem very thrilled with that idea. Said only a generic girl gets generic vows and asked me if that’s the message I wanted to send.”
“But we’ll never actually get to the actual wedding part anyways…will we?”
“I mean…I’m in unchartered territory here. I haven’t exactly done this before so I don’t know how it’s all going to play out. All I know is that she’s going to hound me until she sees my own set of original wedding vows.”
“So maybe we should…?”
“It could be entertaining to say the least,” he says.
“A verifiable pattern of romantic behavior, right?” I ask.
“I’m pretty sure that qualifies,” he says.
A simple meeting to check-in turns into a three hour dinner. When we’re finished we get to pay only to find out, “another gentleman who left earlier had already picked up the tab.” We both have puzzled looks on our faces until the waiter describes what he looked like. “Thank you,” Steven tells him.
“My pleasure, sir. He said to tell you it was a pleasure to see two people so much in love,” the waiter says before taking off back to the kitchen.
We both look at each other. I raise my palms toward the ceiling.
“Officer Russo. He loves Italian food and knows every place in L.A. where he can get it. He must have seen us.”
“But he didn’t approach,” I say.
“Because he thought…well, you heard what the waiter said,” he says.
Two people so much in love. That’s exactly what he said. And I can’t lie. My deep feelings for Steven are intensifying even more. I don’t want to put the “L word” on it yet because I don’t want to get my hopes up. I mean I’m not even sure this is going
to work out or that I’ll even be around this time come next year, let alone find myself in a real relationship with the man of my dreams.
But what is real? The lines seem to be blurring quickly, or am I just crazy?
Cop's Fake Fiancée_An Older Man Younger Woman Romance Page 3
