Found

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Her pain broke his heart, but he couldn’t deny that she had some very dark times ahead of her. “I am sorry, Mrs. Schrock.”

  When Luke finally headed out to the cruiser, he found Jacob standing near the entrance of the store. His arms were crossed over his white shirt and he was staring at the car.

  It was running, standing idle while Mose waited for Luke to join them.

  Luke cleared his throat. “I’m heading out, Jacob. Mose or I will call you later.”

  Jacob looked at him like he hardly remembered who Luke was. “My father is handcuffed in the back of Sheriff Kramer’s car,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I can hardly believe it.”

  Luke knew there was nothing to say and no way to ease the boy’s pain. “Go inside and take care of your mother. She needs you.”

  Jacob’s lips parted, as if he was going to protest the directive. But in the end, he simply turned away and started into the house.

  All of a sudden, Luke felt older than his twenty-nine years. Without a word, he opened the cruiser’s passenger-side door and got in. Neither man looked his way, each seemed to wrapped up in his own thoughts.

  That suited Luke just fine. He buckled up and stared straight ahead as Mose backed out of the driveway, then drove slowly back to the sheriff’s office.

  After eight very hard weeks, the case was closed.

  Ironically, however, there was no sense of accomplishment. Only the greatest feeling of loss.

  Chapter 24

  “No one ever said doing the right thing was easy. But if everyone involved had done the right thing from the beginning? . . . my life would have been a great deal easier. It’s true.”

  MOSE KRAMER

  Two hours had passed since Sheriff Kramer had broken the news about Aaron Schrock. Once he left, Deborah’s father had been even more full of venom and anger, her mother subdued and depressed.

  “This is why you should never see Jacob again, Deborah,” her mother said from her spot on the worn couch in their living room.

  From her own chair by the fireplace, Deborah didn’t agree. “Jacob isn’t the one we should be upset with.”

  “It was his father who caused our pain.”

  “But Jacob is innocent.”

  Standing up, her father glared at her. “Deborah, you heard what Sheriff Kramer said. Jacob fought with Perry. If he had never fought with Perry in the first place, his father would have never followed him out to the field and tried to clean up Jacob’s mess.”

  Deborah raised a brow. “And if Frannie had never walked out to meet Perry, and if the two of them hadn’t argued, if she hadn’t been crying . . . then she would have never run into Jacob. And he would have never gone out to the field,” she finished. “Do you want me to stay away from Frannie, too?”

  Her father looked taken aback. “I don’t know.”

  “What about Lydia?” Deborah said as she got to her feet. “If she had never broken up with Perry, then Perry would never have had a reason to meet Frannie out in that field. Perhaps Lydia Plank is the problem, Daed. You want me to stay away from her, too?”

  He looked chagrined. “Now you are pulling at straws.”

  “Nee, Daed,” she countered. “You are refusing to accept the truth. Jacob and Perry were both fighting. Together. The fight was as much Perry’s fault as Jacob’s.”

  “Jacob went out there to do Perry harm.”

  “Jacob went out there to try to talk some sense into Perry,” she countered, her temper rising. “Just like you tried to do, over and over and over. Just like Mamm did years ago. Just like I tried to do, time and again. But he didn’t listen, Daed. And then we all gave up on him.” Her voice hoarse with pent-up emotion, she said, “Perry never listened and we gave up trying.”

  “Perry was a good boy . . .”

  “Perry was a good boy for a while, but he was also impulsive and willful and stubborn. Yes, he had many good qualities, but he had many bad qualities, too. Just as we all do.”

  Lowering her voice, she continued. “Daed, I can’t condone Mr. Schrock’s actions. And I am upset that my brother is gone. I loved him. But you need to finally stop looking for excuses for Perry’s misdeeds. And you need to stop blaming everyone else for his faults. He had a great many faults, Daed. I’m sorry, but he wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t perfect and he never, ever tried to be.”

  For a moment, Deborah was sure she’d broken through her father’s grief and stubbornness. She was sure he was going to turn to her and apologize.

  To say she was right about a lot of things.

  But instead, he shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We won’t mention it again.” With sure steps, he crossed the room and sat in the rocking chair by the window. “Now, you will go help your mother with supper.”

  Wearily, her mother stood up; whether she was going to the kitchen or to her bedroom, Deborah had no idea.

  But Deborah had had enough. “Do you actually think I’m going to go cook a meal now?” she asked incredulously. “What is wrong with you? I’m going to go see Jacob.”

  “You will not.”

  “Daed, I’m not going to do this any longer. I’m not going to stay here, trying to pretend I’m content when everything is so wrong. I’m not going to continue to live my life circling, hoping and waiting that somehow everything will suddenly get better.”

  “But, daughter, where is your loyalty?”

  “Where is your loyalty to me? All my life you’ve asked me to overlook Perry’s problems and his transgressions. You’ve asked me to ignore my pain in order to try to save face. I won’t do it anymore. No longer.”

  “But your mother . . .” They both looked to the couch where her mother had been sitting. It was empty now. Deborah’s mother had gotten up and left the room without either she or her father realizing it.

  “I can’t take care of Mamm without taking care of myself too, father. And right now, that means I’ve got to go see Jacob. I have to.”

  She walked out the door before she was tempted to say anything more. Before she reminded her father that while Jacob’s father might have killed Perry, her brother had stolen from others, had lied to many, and had even sold drugs to people in the community.

  She’d hated living in shame because of what her brother had done. She certainly wasn’t going to make Jacob live that way.

  Outside, the clouds had come, blanketing the fading sun. The waning sunlight barely slid through the foliage as she walked down the worn path to the Schrocks’ home.

  When she got to there, the windows were dark. She stood at the door, hesitating. Was it okay to knock? She wasn’t sure.

  But then she noticed a dim light shining from the corner of the front porch of the store. Curious, she walked up the narrow walkway to investigate.

  She found Jacob sitting alone on one of the rocking chairs on the front porch. He started when she came around the corner. “Deborah? Is that you?”

  “Jah. I came the back way.”

  “Alone? The sun just set. Deb, you need to take care. That’s no place to walk in the dark.”

  In the dim shadows, she let herself smile. It was so like him to put his concerns about her safety over his worries. “I was careful,” she said as she walked up the front steps and onto the porch.

  He stood up. “So . . . is everything okay? Do you need something?”

  Even with all that was going on, Jacob was still worried about her. “I’m all right.” Studying his face, she saw lines of worry etched around his mouth and eyes. In the span of two days, he looked like he’d aged ten years. “Actually, I came to see how you are.”

  He looked down at his feet. “I . . . ah. Have you heard from Mose?”

  “Yes. He stopped by the house a few hours ago. I know about your father, Jacob. I’m sorry. I wanted to come to see how you are doing.” W
hen he still looked at her blankly, she added, “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling.”

  “You aren’t blaming me?”

  “I’m sad that your father felt he had no choice but to do what he did . . . but I don’t blame you, Jacob.” She truly didn’t, she realized with a bit of surprise.

  Unlike her father’s bitterness, her heart went out to Jacob and his parents. She knew what it was like to be disappointed and hurt by a family member’s actions. She knew what it was like to feel completely hopeless and helpless. The Schrocks needed her prayers, not her anger.

  Jacob’s brown eyes skimmed her own, seeming to search for something more than he believed was possible. After a moment, he sighed. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that. To be honest, I’ve been sitting here, thinking about my father and Perry.” He shrugged. “Thinking about everything. I’ve even been thinking about how awful I’ve been to you at times. Deborah, I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot I needed to learn about myself.”

  “Let’s stop saying we’re sorry to each other. It isn’t necessary.”

  A new awareness flickered in his gaze. “Would you like to sit here with me?”

  “I’d rather sit with you than anywhere else.”

  He chuckled, the noise sounding like a burst of joy in the still evening air. “You are a constant surprise, Deborah. Just a few weeks ago, I would never have imagined you could be so tough. And until you just showed up, I never thought I’d ever laugh again.”

  “Then it’s time you believed in yourself and the future, don’t you think?” she asked lightly as she sat down in the chair next to him.

  “Maybe so.”

  They rocked in the ancient chairs side by side, the darkness of the evening surrounding them. With only the quiet glow of the lantern illuminating the area, it was impossible to see the parking lot or even the winding road beyond.

  It felt like they were the only two people in Crittenden County.

  “Do you sit out here a lot at night?” Deborah asked.

  “Hardly ever.”

  “If I lived here I probably would come out here every chance I got.”

  “My mamm used to say that. When I was little, I remember my parents coming out here fairly often. But now the evenings seemed to be taken over by bills and plans and invoices.”

  “That’s what happens, I suppose. We all get too busy to enjoy what is in front of our noses.”

  “Deborah, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever taken the time to be thankful for my blessings.”

  “I doubt you are the first man to not take the time to give thanks for what he had. It’s human nature to always be searching and hoping, I think.”

  “I don’t know what to do, Deborah. My mother’s inside crying. And my daed? I feel bad for him, but I’m ashamed of his actions, too. I’m struggling with what he did . . . and how he almost let me get charged with Perry’s murder. Now I’ve got the store to manage and a future to try to work out.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a lot, you know?”

  She wasn’t about to start giving him advice. His problems and worries were big and not lightly solved. “One day you’ll know what to do,” she said finally.

  “That’s it?” his tone was incredulous. “That’s your advice?”

  “You don’t need my advice. You only need my support.” Privately, she knew she could offer him her love, too. But maybe that wasn’t in the cards for them. Maybe God had different plans.

  She was just about to attempt to say something about giving himself time to grieve and heal when they heard a chattering of voices from the parking lot. “I wonder who that is?”

  “No telling.” His hands clenched on his rocking chair’s arms, but she noticed he was taking care not to show any more emotion.

  “Is it okay if we join you? Or is this a private party?”

  With a laugh, Deborah got to her feet and raced down the steps as Walker, Lydia, Frannie, and Beth came into view. In the background were Micah Overholt and Kevin Yoder. “Look at all of you! Why on earth did you decide to come to the store this evening?”

  Frannie gave her a quick hug. “I’d like to say we spend most evenings wandering around in the dark, but that would be a lie,” she said with a laugh. “We came out here to see you, Jacob,” she said as she bounded up the steps.

  “I can’t believe you all are here,” he said.

  His voice was wooden-sounding. Deborah knew he was desperately trying not to expect too much. She didn’t blame him, either. It was a difficult thing, getting used to friendship and support.

  “Only you would be surprised to see us, Jacob,” Walker said. “Of course we were going to find you this evening. You need us more than ever.”

  Deborah walked back up the stairs and took a chance. Coming to his side, she grabbed his elbow. “They’re reaching out to you, Jacob,” she whispered. “Now it’s your turn to reach right back.”

  After sharing a meaningful look with her, he smiled. “I do need you,” he finally said.

  Their friends bounded up the stairs, Beth and Micah holding baskets. “I hope you need what we brought, too,” Beth said. “Food!”

  “And Cokes,” Micah said with a grin.

  “I can’t believe you all. It’s one of the worst nights of my life, and you all are throwing a party.”

  “That’s because you’ve got it all wrong, Jacob,” Frannie said. “It might have been one of the worst days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer through it all alone. We’re here for you. No matter what.”

  “I . . .” he cleared his throat. “I mean . . .”

  “Nah . . .” Walker slapped him on the shoulder. “Now, don’t get all mushy, Jacob. We don’t want a speech. Just tell us that it’s time to eat.”

  He grinned. “It’s time to eat.”

  “Thank goodness,” Beth said. “I’m starving.”

  The laughter that floated around them felt like a healing cloak. A reminder that even on the darkness of evenings, the light of hope can still be found.

  Chapter 25

  “It wasn’t too hard to forgive Perry for his transgressions. God reminded me that I had many sins of my own. We all do.”

  JACOB SCHROCK

  Though he’d told Mose he would arrive at the office before ten that morning, Luke couldn’t help but stop by Frannie’s first. He was used to spending so much time together, he’d felt a little left out when she’d told him that she couldn’t talk to him on the phone last night.

  When she’d admitted that she and her other friends were going to visit Jacob and offer their support, Luke had been floored. The way everyone in her circle hadn’t even hesitated to be there for Jacob was inspiring. And humbling.

  But he also felt left out. He wasn’t a part of their group, and not because he was a policeman, either. He sensed it was a deeper acknowledgment that he wasn’t a part of their community.

  Though he was a confident man, he suddenly felt a little awkward. Was he destined to always be on the outskirts of her circle of friends? And . . . did Frannie resent him for arresting Aaron Schrock?

  Wondering about all these things, he knocked on her front door.

  Less than a minute later, she opened it, her wary expression turning to a big smile when she saw who it was. “Luke, why did you knock? You know you could have walked around to the kitchen door. It’s always open for you.”

  Feeling strangely gratified by her words, he stepped inside and gently pressed his lips to her cheek. “Knocking seemed the right thing to do this morning.”

  After touching her palm to her cheek, as if she was hoping to hold his kiss close, she looked at him curiously. “And why is that?”

  He followed her back to the kitchen. There, he sat on top of his usual wooden stool at the counter as he watched her open a cabinet, pull out a large coffee mug, and pour him a
cup of the dark brew. “I wasn’t sure after last night how you would feel about me.”

  “Because I went to see Jacob?” When he nodded, she set the cup of coffee in front of him, then turned to the refrigerator and pulled out two sticks of butter. “Were you jealous? Luke, Jacob is my friend. That’s all.”

  “I know that,” he said, picking up the cup of coffee and blowing softly on it. After taking an exploratory sip and finding it as excellent as always, he said, “I know there’s nothing romantic between the two of you. But I also know that you are close. I’ve been worried you might be upset with me.”

  “Because you arrested his father?”

  “Well . . . Yeah.”

  “Luke, you are a police detective. You were only doing your job.”

  “But still, it’s got to make you uncomfortable . . .” He ached to say a whole lot more, but was reluctant to make the jar of worms he’d just opened up any worse. “I thought maybe you were feeling torn. You know, caught in the middle.”

  After putting a large mason jar filled with flour on the counter, she walked back to stand in front of him. “I don’t feel caught in the middle at all, Luke. My loyalty is to you. I’m proud of you and the work you do. It ain’t easy, choosing to be the person to uphold the law, you know.”

  Once again, Frannie was speaking with her confident authority. It was so familiar, he couldn’t help but smile. He relaxed enough to take another sip. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.”

  “Then you should know that I feel loyal to Jacob, too. It isn’t his fault that his father took his vengeance out on Perry. Jacob’s going to have to live with that for the rest of his life.”

  Luke ached to confide in Frannie, to tell him how Aaron had kept saying how he killed Perry in order to help Jacob. But of course he couldn’t share that confidential information.

  Instead, he concentrated on what he could share with her, his feelings. “I was jealous last night.”