Flying Backwards

by Jennifer W Smith

  “Is there someone else?”

  She nodded meekly. Nora had wondered if their time together in Russia would blossom their relationship. She’d been willing to give it a try after she’d broken off with Antonio. And besides, at that time she did not know Ben was truly interested in her. Now she just felt…‌bad.

  Sergei cupped her knee with his large hand. “I knew there was someone else before we left. You even spoke of a complicated relationship. It does not matter. I am glad we went to Russia together. I am glad for any time we have spent together, and I do not want you to think this will ruin our friendship.”

  “Really?” She held her breath.

  “Yes! But if you want to have sex I am available any time,” he joked.

  She laughed out loud. The complicated relationship Sergei mentioned had been with Antonio. And the “someone else” was Ben. She laughed to herself about the tangled web she had woven.

  All her tension eased away while they talked for the next two hours. They drank all the beer. Nora insisted on a big hug before she went up to her room alone. She no longer felt regret about what had almost happened between her and Sergei. She chalked it up to a lesson learned.

  * * *

  In September, although the temperature in Rome was pleasant, the smog was a bit stifling. The flight crew’s taxi was just dropping them off at the hotel when Nora’s cell phone rang. What a coincidence, it’s Antonio. Nora regretted answering the call as soon as she hit the button. “Hey, Antonio.”

  “Nora, it is good to hear your voice.”

  Just then, a very loud doorman called to a porter in rapid Italian. The crew’s captain waved away the porter and assured the doorman they could handle their roller bags. The crew entered the quiet lobby of the hotel.

  “You are in Rome!”

  Damn! Antonio had heard the exuberant doorman.

  “Ugh…‌yep.” She didn’t fancy herself as a liar, so she couldn’t say that she was just leaving Rome. Why did I answer the phone!? “How are you?” She tried not sound like she was caught off guard. She rolled her bag up to the desk and was handed her room key.

  “I am well. And I am so pleased to hear you are in Rome.”

  Her heart compressed. She felt melancholy; as much as she’d enjoyed their brief relationship, Antonio wasn’t for her. He had other plans in life, including marrying and having children with a nice Italian lesbian. She was not going to settle, even if it meant losing a remarkable lover. He was a broad-minded thinker, a little too broad-minded for her taste. She wanted more from life.

  “Nora, can I see you?”

  She could picture his perfect full lips on the other end of the phone.

  “I’m stepping into the elevator, so I might lose you.” The crew squeezed in and the doors closed. The elevator went up four floors and the doors opened. Figures, the call didn’t drop.

  Antonio continued. “I know what you said, but I have been thinking about us. We should talk some more. Let me take you to dinner.”

  Nora opened her room door with the key and went in, now safely in her room, away from listening ears. “No, I’m sorry. I think it’s best we don’t see each other. Please, Antonio. Please stop calling me.”

  “You are playing hard to get. That is very sexy.” His voice purred.

  What! “No, I’m not. I mean it.” Her tone reflected the seriousness of this conversation. He was the one who didn’t want a serious relationship, so why this reaching out? Then it dawned on her that it was all about the pursuit. “Hard to get!” He has probably never been rejected in his life. I mean, look at him. He just can’t stand the idea that I don’t return his calls with baited breath.

  “I have to go. Good-bye.” Nora disconnected with a heavy sigh. True: she had been flattered that he found her attractive. True: she had been flattered that he had pursued her. True: she was his plaything, just as he was hers. This Italian Stallion was too wild for her.

  Nora had met a new crew member named Debra on the flight to Rome. They got on well, so while in Rome they hung out, visiting sites and restaurants. They had just walked back to the hotel from dinner when Debra said out of the side of her mouth, “Oh Lord, look at that hunk.”

  Nora’s eyes followed her gaze to a darkly handsome Italian guy leaning against one of the hotel columns, looking like a Roman statue for all to admire. It was Antonio.

  Debra took a sharp breath. “He’s coming this way!” she whispered franticly.

  “Good evening, Nora,” Antonio purred as he sauntered up to them.

  Debra’s eyes grew wide. “You know him?” She sounded astonished. Nora gave a weak laugh and tight smile.

  “Hi, Antonio, this is Debra. Debra, Antonio.” His smoldering eyes shifted to Debra, and Nora thought her companion was going to faint. She barely squeaked out a hello.

  “It is very nice to meet you, Debra, but would you mind if I spoke with Nora?” He sent her an alluring smile.

  “Oh no, nooo, not at all.” Debra couldn’t walk away fast enough. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said to Nora. Once she was behind Antonio, Debra almost tripped, thanks to her lingering look backwards.

  “Please don’t be mad.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I have to tell you something, eh?”

  Nora couldn’t see a way around it, so she just nodded. They walked away from the bright lights of the hotel entrance down to a quiet nearby garden, where they found a secluded bench. Antonio grasped her hand as he always did, bringing it to his lips. After a moment he began. “Nora, I have to tell you, you have captured my heart. I cannot stop thinking of you.” At her closed expression, he plowed on. “I told you before how much you mean to me, but I realized later what I needed to do. I have spoken to my mother and told her the engagement is off. I told her that I would be the one to choose who I spend my life with, whether she is Italian or not.”

  “Wait! What?” Nora couldn’t quite grasp what he was saying. “You are going to break up with her for me?”

  “It is done.”

  Nora was truly shocked. She looked at his handsome face. This was a huge move for him. Nora shook her head. Before she could deny him, he spoke. “I think you are worth getting to know better. And I think that I am finally ready to settle down and…‌see what happens.”

  “Antonio, I am overwhelmed by your grand gesture. I have to admit, I wanted that at one point in time, but now… I don’t really think it was only because of that, that I allowed our relationship to end. We are very different.”

  He waved away her excuses. “We have passion.” He leaned in closer. “You cannot deny this.” He was defiantly playing his irresistible card. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and slid his arm around her shoulder. He dropped his head next to her exposed ear, whispering, “Nora, I want to love you.” His breath was hot on her neck, and she shuddered at the sudden chill up her spine. She felt his lips brush her neck, and then his hot tongue licked her salty skin.

  Nora jumped to her feet. “I’m sorry, Antonio.” She shook her head. “Please don’t call me again. I’m sorry.” She left him on the bench in a beautiful garden drenched in moonlight. She couldn’t look back. And she didn’t know why tears were blurring her vision.

  Nora curled up in her bed, listening to the evening sounds of Rome’s traffic, distant sirens, and loud pedestrians. She reflected on all that had happened in the past year. Last September she was planning her wedding with Phillip. In October she broke off her engagement and moved back home with her parents. She managed to survive the holidays, biding her time, until she left for her new job training. The New Year took her to Pittsburg, where she spent six weeks of her life learning everything there was to know about becoming a flight attendant. She met a new best friend. In March they became roommates in Philly. Then she was off, visiting amazing countries and meeting new people, making some good friends. She had been flying for six months now. In just six months she had met and become involved with three very different men.
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br />   My life has changed so completely, she mused. A year ago, I was a wallflower. She’d been engaged to Phillip for years. No other guy had paid her any attention. She’d lived like a ghost in her own life. But something had changed. She had made a choice. She’d left a man who loved her and wanted to marry her. She’d broken up with a hunky Italian lover who still wanted her. She’d made up her mind that a relationship with Sergei would not work out. And within six short months, was she now ready to fall completely for Ben? It seemed too soon. She was glad she’d dated–she used this word loosely in her mind–both Antonio and Sergei. A part of her thrived on the new sense of freedom, but the other part of her, the part that grounded her, was her sense of tradition. She relished this fun freedom, but she didn’t want this to always be her life. She just wanted to meet the right guy, who would complement her, respect her, and keep her interested, both mentally and physically. Ben could be that guy. She held her phone in her hand and swiped to the picture she had of Ben.

  She decided to transfer to London. She was going to take a chance on having a great life. After all, that was what she’d wanted all along–a chance to change her life and be happy, no matter what. She couldn’t wait to tell Bree. She knew her best friend would be elated.

  * * *

  It was days later before Nora and Bree finally had a day off together. Nora was sitting in front of a basket of clean laundry, drinking her second cup of coffee, when Bree came in from an early-morning run.

  “Hi, Bree! I was wondering where you were. I didn’t hear you leave. Actually, I didn’t even hear you come in last night. Was it late?” Nora was not alarmed at the thought of Bree not coming home, because often enough a flight schedule was altered. When that happened, the airline would put the crew up for another night at a hotel. Sometimes mechanical or weather-related problems delayed or canceled a flight.

  “Hey.” Bree kicked off her Nike tennis shoes. “I got in around 10:30. You were out like a light when I peeked in to say hi.”

  They sat on the living room sofa, sorting and folding clean laundry while they watched the Travel Channel on television. Nora studied her friend as Bree prattled on about some designer handbag shop she found in London. She was describing a bag she had to have, but she’d promised herself to try and stick to a budget. Bree talked about wanting financial independence from her parents, but she confessed her extravagant taste was way more expensive than she could ever afford on her salary. Still, she was going to give the concept of a budget a try.

  “So I resisted the urge to buy it,” Bree concluded with a sigh. She matched a pair of socks and asked Nora, “So have you considered moving across the pond?” Her voice sounded nonchalant, but she pinned Nora with an anxious gaze.

  “I think this is your sock. I’ve picked it up three times.” Nora tossed the cotton gym sock in Bree’s direction. Bree did not even blink. “Yes,” Nora replied, hunting for the mate to her sock.

  “Yes, you’re considering it? Or yes, you want to move?” The excitement built in Bree’s voice.

  Nora smiled at her friend. “Let’s do it!”

  “Yippee!” Bree tossed her folded laundry aside and hugged Nora. They settled back in their seats, grinning. Bree asked, “Have you mentioned it to your family?”

  Nora shook her head. “No, I was going to call and see if they are around tomorrow. I’m planning on driving over for the day. I should have been visiting them more often. My mom is going to be upset.”

  “I told both my parents I was considering moving to London. My dad thought it was a great idea, London being his old stomping grounds. And he mentioned the Andrews family. I told him I’d been visiting Ashley and Evan.” Bree got up and headed for the kitchen. After a dramatic pause in front of the refrigerator, she continued. “My mother wasn’t receptive at first, but then I told her I’ve been dating Evan. Then she warmed up to the idea pretty quickly.”

  “What about this place? Your dad leased it, and your mom decorated it.” Nora looked around at their posh quarters.

  Bree retrieved a cup of yogurt from the refrigerator and waved her hand before she opened the drawer to root around for a spoon. “He’ll just sublet it furnished. And Mom will ship over anything we want to keep.” Bree dropped back on the sofa, squealing with glee. “I can’t believe you decided to move to London with me! I really wasn’t sure what you were going to decide.”

  “I know, it’s crazy, but I think it will all work out.” Philly was never going to be Nora’s final destination.

  Nora had a funny smirk on her face. Bree had to ask, “Does this decision have anything to do with your weekend with Ben?” Bree got her answer when Nora’s smile broadened. “Well, is there more to the story? You said you guys had fun but kept things friendly. Just kissed, huh?”

  “Just kissed,” Nora confirmed. She didn’t want to jinx their relationship somehow by making it more than it was.

  “Nora, that’s great! He must really like you if he’s willing to take your friendship to the next level. Like I’ve said, he had his heart broken a couple times. When he falls, he falls hard. Do you really like him?” Bree sounded protective of Ben, her longtime friend. “I mean, what about Sergei?”

  Nora nodded. “Sergei and I had a talk. I broke it off. He was kind and understanding. He really is a great guy, just not for me.” Nora let out a long sigh. “Ben is remarkable. I want to take things slow. His heart isn’t the only one needing protecting.”

  Bree seemed satisfied with that answer. The girls decided to call Ashley and share the good news about them moving to London. Ashley was elated and told them the couple in the flat upstairs was moving out next month; it wasn’t yet rented. She gave them the landlord’s number, and they started to make plans.

  After they hung up with Ashley, Nora decided to drive to her parent’s house that afternoon. She wanted to talk to them first before she filled out the final transfer paperwork. She had to tell them that she would be moving to London, thirty-five hundred miles away.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  When Nora walked into kitchen of her childhood home, the welcoming smell of beef stew assaulted her nose. Nora knew only her parents would be home for the night. Lizzy was out with her friend Tyler at a local sporting event.

  “Hi, Eleanor, how was the ride?” Heidi hugged Nora and then untied her apron and hung it on a peg in the kitchen pantry.

  “Fine, no traffic. Dinner smells great. Is there anything I can do to help?” Nora swept her gaze across the kitchen counter. Bowls were stacked up next to the crock of stew. A pitcher was filled with iced tea. The bread rolls were already snuggled in the bread basket, wrapped in a towel to keep them warm.

  “No, you go ahead and put your bag up in your room. Dinner is already.” Heidi moved around the kitchen. “I just finished working on some pastries for a baby shower. I’ll just get them in the fridge, and then we can eat. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

  Nora nodded emphatically and rolled her suitcase into the family room, where her dad sat watching the news. “Hi, Dad. Mom says dinner is ready.”

  Nora lugged her suitcase up the stairs with some effort. The long drive and the weight of what she wanted to say to her parents left her feeling exhausted. She rolled her suitcase into the center of the room and abandoned it. She plopped down on her bed, riding out the bounce of the old springs. She melted back onto the quilt and looked blankly at the white ceiling. Home. Home? This was her old home, where she grew up. It would always be a comforting place. Philly was where she lived, but not her home. Would she find what she was searching for in England?

  “Mom, Dad, I’m moving to England,” she murmured to the ceiling. She took in a long, steady breath and drew herself off the bed. It was time to make this change a reality. Another life-changing choice–the wind would take her to England. She was in forward motion, and that was what was coming next.

  When Nora entered the kitchen, she saw that Heidi had the table set; her dad was grabbing a can of Coke
from the refrigerator. “What can I get you?” Russ asked his daughter, holding up his can.

  “I’ll take some milk.” Nora headed for the cupboard to retrieve a glass while her dad placed the gallon of milk on the counter.

  They ate and chatted for a while before Nora steered toward the subject of her move. “So–Bree and I have had a great time in England. I’ve made so many new friends through Bree. She spent a lot of time there growing up. In fact, now that she’s flying international, she wants to transfer over there, to England. Meade Airlines has a hub there.” Nora pinched off a piece of her roll and stuffed it into her mouth. She watched for any reaction.

  Her parents exchanged looks. Heidi took a sip of iced tea. “That’s nice. Bree seems like a charming girl. Are her parents concerned that she’ll be so far away? And what about you? You’ll need a new roommate.”

  “It’s not that far, just across the pond, as they say.” Nora was dismissive. “Bree’s parents are really supportive, and they know the families of the friends I was telling you about. And this may sound crazy, but…‌I’ve decided to go with her.”

  Nora’s dad spoke up. “Eleanor, you want to move to England?”

  Nora nodded. It was all she could manage with the lump in her throat. The last bite of bread seemed to be lodged in her throat. She reached for her glass of milk.

  “But you just moved to Philadelphia,” her mother protested, “and we hardly ever see you now.”

  “When would you be leaving?” Russ’s voice was low and calm.

  “In a month, maybe six weeks. We actually might get a place in London in the building where our friend lives.” Nora rested her gaze on her mother’s face. Heidi’s brown eyes were wide with shock; they shifted to her husband and back again. “I’m an international flight attendant, and I want to get out there and see the world. This move puts me at a better advantage and makes travel to other countries more accessible. And now with Bree flying international, too, I can have a companion. It’s what I want. I want to give this a try.”