Freakshow

by Jaden Wilkes

  Orion grabbed my arm and hissed in my face, “I will protect what’s mine. I don’t need some second rate performer telling me how to manage my business. Stay out of this, or I’ll have you shipped home faster than you can scream my son’s name. Do you understand?”

  I was aware that I had pushed him too far, yet again. I was aware that his fingers were digging into my flesh, but thankfully I couldn’t feel it. I was also aware that nobody knew where I was, and if Orion was involved in Cara’s murder, I should probably back down and get the hell out of there before I ended up beaten and dead with my throat ripped open.

  “I do understand,” I said through gritted teeth. “Let go of me.”

  He remained in that position, poised as if to strike, then relaxed his grip and fixed a greasy smile on his face. “I’m sorry, my dear,” he said in an even tone, “I tend to be very protective of my family. You of all people should know that by now.”

  “It’s all good,” I said and rubbed my arm, not in response to any pain, but as if to wipe him off of me. I could still feel him on my skin, smell his breath in my face, see that mad look in his eyes.

  “I would offer to walk you back to your trailer,” he said, his face now a mask of congenial formality, “but I must admit that I am exhausted. Please see yourself out. And there will be no rehearsal later on.”

  With that he turned and disappeared into a back room. The RV shuddered as I slammed the door and headed back to my own little spot in the big, chaotic mess of the Cirque.

  I didn’t know how I managed to get through the rest of the day, pacing and checking my phone, nibbling some dry toast around dinner when my stomach protested, and finally falling asleep at some point in the evening after hearing nothing. I felt sick with worry and fear that Cairo was wrapped up in something so big I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

  I had to trust him though, I needed to trust him. I was falling for him, so what choice did I have in the matter?

  *****

  Close to midnight, Rose gently shook me awake. I had been deep in sleep, beyond dreaming and beyond awareness of my surroundings. It took me a few moments to realize what was happening.

  “Liv, he’s back,” Rose whispered, “he’s in his RV if you need to go see him.”

  “Cairo?” I asked, clearing the fog from my brain. When Rose nodded, I bolted straight up. “I need to go see him.”

  “I think Orion is with him, I saw them going in together when I went for a walk,” Rose said.

  “What were you doing out this late?” I asked.

  She blushed and looked away. “I was on a date,” she told me in a quiet voice.

  “Good for you!” I exclaimed and stood up. “Don’t feel guilty, I know I do all the time but I realized that life’s too short, so enjoy it. Cara would have wanted you to.”

  “Thanks,” she replied, “It’s surreal going out and enjoying myself right after seeing that today. But I really like this guy.” She smiled and I pulled on loose yoga pants and a hoodie over my pajamas.

  “Don’t wait up,” I grinned at her, she laughed and went down the hall to her bedroom.

  I raced through the Cirque, I couldn’t wait to see Cai and find out what the hell was going on. I’d spent some time thinking about things, and realized he had been set up. I didn’t know who had done it, but I knew it in my bones that Cairo wasn’t guilty.

  I reached his general area and stood next to another performer’s RV in the better end of the camp, where the higher paid, big acts had their luxury RVs. Cairo’s was in the final spot on the last row, backed up against a storage area. I stood in the shadows and waited.

  Sure enough, Rose had been right. The lights were on inside and I could see the silhouettes of two men talking. I got a little closer, stayed in the shadows and listened. I could hear the sounds of arguing, Cairo and Orion’s voices in a heated argument.

  After a few moments, the door whipped open and Orion stomped down, his face twisted in rage and his body stiff with anger. He strode across the small clearing and passed just a few feet from me.

  I tensed up and relaxed as he passed, he came to a sudden halt and lifted his head up. I froze in place, stopped breathing and tried to melt into the shadows behind me.

  Orion moved his face slowly, and he appeared to be sniffing the air. I exhaled quietly and waited, praying that he wouldn’t see me there.

  After what felt like hours, he straightened his back, smoothed his jacket and continued to walk off into the night.

  I looked around and stepped out to cross the fifteen feet or so to Cairo’s place. Halfway there, I was blindsided by a running figure that knocked me to the ground and dragged me to a small clearing near the place I’d just hidden.

  I tried to cry out, to kick and scream, but a gloved hand was pressed over my mouth and my arms were pinned so my kicks were useless.

  A harsh voice whispered in my ear, “You’ve been warned, you’re not one of us. Stay the fuck away from him and stop snooping around!” Fists began to pummel me, over and over until I lost sense of time and place.

  I dropped to the ground and instinctively curled up to put my hands over my head. With my lack of pain, I’d learned long ago to protect the most vulnerable spots.

  “Stupid cunt,” somebody spat in a guttural voice. “Nosy fucking bitch.”

  I could count three of them, all men and all swift and brutal. They kicked and punched me with such force that I couldn’t move, I could only huddle in a ball and hope they didn’t break any bones.

  I tried to protest, to beg them to stop, but they wouldn’t slow down. A thick work boot hit the side of my head and I started to see stars exploding at the side of my vision.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and started to lose consciousness. All at once the assault ceased, the fists and boots no longer hit me and I uncurled my body.

  I heard growling, harsh animal sounds and the screams of the men who had just been attacking me. I heard ripping and crunching, and their cries fading in the distance as they ran.

  I couldn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t move beyond my own shallow breaths. I didn’t hurt, but my body betrayed me.

  I tried to cry out, but couldn’t make a sound.

  I felt a great tongue licking my face, hot breath on my flesh, and heard a growling whine deep in the throat of some beast. I tried to open my eyes, forced them open, and all at once I was staring straight into a wolf’s glowing golden ones.

  He was massive, covered with silken black fur and had intelligence burning in his gaze.

  He licked me again and I groaned. I closed my eyes again and felt a healing energy flow through me. I connected mentally with the cool, damp earth and seemed to feel it working on knitting my injuries back together.

  I opened my eyes again and saw a faint blue glow cocooning my body. The wolf stepped back and sniffed the air around me, he whined and gnashed his teeth.

  “It’s okay,” I told him in a weak voice, “I’ve done it before.”

  And I had, several times. The first had been after being hit by a truck when I was a little girl. My mother’s people had always been connected to the natural arts, witches and midwives in the old days.

  As I’d lain in my mother’s arms that day, my little body broken and twisted, my Grandma had hobbled out of the house and ordered my mom to set me on the ground.

  Even then I’d known, I’d felt it. I’d pushed my hand out of my mom’s sweater and touched the driveway, the earth, and drawn on some ancient power I’d felt in my moment of need.

  By the time I’d gotten to the hospital, they’d been astounded by my apparent recovery. Within hours, I had seemed completely healed.

  It had happened a few more times over the years, but I’d never needed it with this level of desperation, not since the truck accident.

  After a time, the blue light faded back into my body and I felt as though I could move. I stood on shaky legs and immediately swayed and almost fell again. I reached out and found myself holding onto the wo
lf who had rushed to stand next to me.

  I buried my fingers in his thick fur and did a quick assessment on my body to find any breaks or fractures.

  I moved my legs, feet, arms, hands, and found nothing. A quick prodding of my midsection indicated a single rib had been fractured. I could feel it grind as I inhaled, every time my chest expanded, the rib protested wildly with a loud crack. I was thankful I couldn’t feel it.

  I would be fine though, they hadn’t done any major damage as far as I could tell, and I would heal fast after drawing from the earth. I’d had more broken ribs than I could remember, and as long as I didn’t cough up blood, I’d recover.

  I looked at the wolf, and it all came crashing into me. I’d been attacked, and then I’d been saved by a wolf.

  “A mother fucking wolf,” I said under my breath. He looked at me, blinked a couple times and pushed up against me.

  Using the wolf as a brace, I limped slowly back to my trailer, careful not to fall down or I might not make it back up. I stood in front of the trailer, closed my eyes, knelt to touch the earth, and drew one last surge of energy from the ground beneath me, as I always had, and opened them again.

  The wolf made a low noise in the back of his throat. I looked down and said, “I’m safe now, you can go.”

  He licked my hand, stared at me for a moment, turned and ran silently into the night. A few moments later I thought I heard a howl, but I couldn’t be sure. I couldn’t even bet on the fact that I’d even seen a wolf, it all could have been one mass hallucination brought on by the stress of the attack.

  I opened the front door and dragged myself up the narrow stairs, locked the door and moved down the hallway to my bedroom. I pulled my off shoes, stripped as carefully as I could, not wanting to do any more damage than had already been done, and fell into a dreamless slumber.

  *****

  “Liv! Wake up!” Rose’s voice penetrated my throbbing head. It wasn’t painful, but I knew things weren’t quite right, I could hear blood rushing in my ears with each beat of my heart. “Liv, are you okay? Oh my god, wake up!”

  I felt Rose slap me gently and I fluttered my eyes, the light was too bright though, so I snapped them shut again.

  “What time is it?” I asked. “Am I late for rehearsal?” I tried to sit up but found my ribcage constricted and my arm wouldn’t support my weight.

  “Who did this?” Rose asked.

  “What?” I asked and forced my eyes open. I noticed the bruising on my arm and said, “Oh, Orion did this yesterday.”

  “What the fuck?” Rose exclaimed. “He beat the shit out of you?”

  “What? No, just the arm.”

  “Have you looked at yourself? Did you go see Cai?”

  I rubbed my eyes and it all came back to me, sneaking over to see Cairo and getting jumped, the wolf. “Shit,” I said, “I was attacked. I did go to see Cai and three guys attacked me. But a wolf saved me.”

  “A wolf? Who was it? Did you get a look? Are you sure?”

  “No, nothing. It was dark and they were wearing hoodies and gloves. They didn’t say much. And yes, I swear it was a motherfucking wolf.”

  “Any accent?” Rose asked slowly.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied. “Do you mean Alexi? He was too hammered to beat the shit out of anyone last night.”

  “Why would you say Alexi? Is he involved somehow?”

  “You know as much as I do,” I said and felt tears sting the back of my eyes, “this is so confusing Rose, sometimes I wish I could pack up and head back to BC.”

  “Why don’t you? Why don’t we? We could catch a Greyhound back and get an apartment together.”

  “Well, first off I still haven’t gotten a single penny from the Cirque. My bank account is empty.”

  “There’s more than that though, isn’t there?” my friend asked, seeing deep into my heart.

  “There is, you know it. It’s Cairo, I can’t leave him. He needs me. Whatever mess he’s caught up in, he needs me more than ever.”

  “I’m just scared you’ll get dragged into something over your head. Be careful, Liv, just because you can’t feel pain doesn’t mean you are invincible. These bruises are testament to that.”

  I sat up and managed to roll off my bed to my feet. I winced when my ribs cracked against my breath, not out of pain but out of instinct to protect them. “I hear you loud and clear there,” I replied, “but I assure you, I’m healing faster than it looks. I’ll be right as rain soon enough. Do you think we could go get something to eat?”

  “It’s only seven, I’m sure we can still get a good breakfast.”

  “What are we waiting for then?” I said and forced myself to sound cheerful.

  A short hour later, my stomach was full, coffee was racing through my veins, and I was ready to face the day. I fixed a neutral mask on my face and went to find Orion for practice. We managed to get through it without once bringing up Cara’s murder, my injuries or Cairo being off limits.

  I decided to let it go for now, until I healed a little more and until Orion let his guard down and I could see Cai again. I needed to find out if Orion was behind my attack last night, did he despise me and fear me enough to want me dead? If so, why?

  And I had to figure out who had a trained wolf in the Cirque. It had to be Alexi, part of his animal act...or maybe a new hire, somebody with one of those huge dog and pony shows. Had I dreamt it was a wolf? Perhaps it was just a big dog after all.

  Above everything, I just hoped it wasn’t long before I was with Cairo, my blood burned for his touch and my body ached to feel him next to me. I wondered if he felt it too.

  Chapter Twenty

  We packed up and moved the Cirque down the coast to Portland a few days after I was attacked. The lead detective in the murder investigation had protested, but ultimately there had been no reason to keep us behind. There was nothing that could be proven against any one of us, so they had to let us go.

  I took his card though, Detective Smythe, just in case I did find something that would implicate somebody implicitly.

  I still hadn’t seen Cairo, he was apparently being heavily guarded by Orion and his crew, to keep him away from me. That was the rumour anyhow.

  By then I’d come to understand some of what Orion and I were fighting for. It was possession of Cairo. Orion had some quality that made people jump at his command, somehow I was mostly immune to his dark forces, and through me, Cairo tasted some freedom to defy his father. I didn’t know how or why it worked like that, but somehow Cai and I together were stronger.

  I knew Orion wanted Cairo to stay away from me so he wouldn’t question his father’s intentions. I also knew he wanted me close because of my ability to defy him. I’d had that strange ability to feel nothing, and that translated to feeling none of Orion’s dominance completely. I was a puzzle he wanted to solve, a puzzle that threatened his very status.

  That being said, I was as edgy as fuck around the Cirque without Cairo by my side. Although I didn’t want to believe Orion was behind the attack, in the quiet moments I spent in my trailer, my mind definitely wandered there. I trusted that he wouldn’t do anything to harm me outright himself, but any time I left the trailer, I made sure I had Rose or one of the girls with me, everyone else was a suspect.

  I had learned that Orion would do anything to protect his perfect public image and exert his absolute control, threatening either of these had definitely put me on his radar and potentially in danger. But would he have actually taken it so far as to order my attack?

  We still rehearsed the act every day at ten, and he informed me that once we got to Portland we would be performing four nights a week. He’d given me time to heal without acknowledging my injuries. He was crafty like that...or was it guilt?

  He also must have noticed my uncanny recovery times. I wondered if he picked up on the deep connection I had to energies deep in the planet, that I could draw on them to assist me in times of desperate need.

  I hoped he h
adn’t picked up on that, it wasn’t something I shared with anyone and it might make him even more suspicious of me.

  Once we settled in Portland, I helped set everything up. The Cirque encampment was arranged in essentially the same configuration in every city, so the first night I snuck to Cairo’s RV to see if I could catch him unguarded. He hadn’t returned any of my texts and seemed to have disappeared off social media.

  His RV wasn’t in its usual spot though, and after a few minutes of looking, I still couldn’t find it. Orion’s was right where it should be, so I hung around for a short time hoping to see Cai visiting his dad.

  His sisters came and went, but there was no sign of Orion or Cairo.

  Dejected, I started back for my little trailer, I was starting to think of it as home now that I’d been living there for a few weeks.

  “Liv,” I heard my name being called from behind me. I turned and saw Cairo’s sister, Paris, coming my way.

  “Where’s Cai?” I asked. I didn’t feel like making small talk or playing nice. “What has your father done to him?”

  “He has to stay with us,” Paris replied. “He’s inside right now. Would you like to come see him?”

  “Oh god, yes,” I said, “please.”

  “He’s been so down since all of this started. One of us has to be with him at all times. I know all Cai’s thinking about is you though. Father took his laptop and his phone, and he’s cut off our wifi. Cai’s been going nuts trying to figure out a way to see you.”

  “I’m sorry to say this, but your dad is a psycho,” I said and followed Paris.

  “He’s just doing what he thinks is best for us, for the family and the business, especially given the legal problems right now. He’s also trying to protect you in his strange way,” Paris said. “I know to you it may look extreme, but you have to understand that in this kind of lifestyle, there has always been a distinct, ‘us versus them’ mentality. It’s changing with us younger folks, but in the older generations, it’s still part of their blood.”

  “So your father hates me because he sees me as one of them?”