High-Altitude Doctor

by Sarah Morgan

  There was a long pause. ‘I wasn’t referring to his fitness levels, although you and I both know those muscles aren’t going to help him much up here.’ Finn’s tone was even. ‘I was referring to the way he was looking at you. And if you didn’t notice then you’re not the woman I think you are. A woman who thinks she’s smart enough to get herself up Everest should be smart enough to sense a problem when it’s staring her in the face, and that guy is trouble.’

  Juliet felt a flicker of unease. She wanted to argue with him but she couldn’t because she knew he was right. Simon was trouble. ‘I can handle it,’ she said calmly, stuffing her hands deep in her pockets to keep them warm. ‘I was brought up dealing with trouble. You don’t need to worry about me.’

  She certainly didn’t want him worrying about her.

  She wished he’d go inside and leave her to enjoy the cold night alone but he didn’t shift, his broad shoulders planted against the tree, his eyes watchful. She was aware of the hard planes of his handsome face, the steady rhythm of his breathing as his breath clouded the freezing air. Together they shared the darkness and it felt as though they were the only two people in this corner of the world.

  The forced intimacy unsettled her, especially as he seemed reluctant to drop the subject.

  ‘Take my advice,’ he drawled softly. ‘Keep Neil close by at all times.’

  She gave a little shiver and her own sense of unease escalated. ‘I don’t need a bodyguard to keep an over-persistent man at a distance. You don’t need to worry about me.’

  There was a long silence while he watched her and then he stirred, obviously intending to respond. ‘Dr Adams—’

  ‘No!’ Juliet lifted a hand and interrupted him hastily, before he could say what she suspected he was going to say. ‘I know that some men are very protective towards women but I don’t need your protection—and I don’t want it. I’m fine on my own. I’m used to being on my own.’

  ‘Calm down.’ Finn’s tone was level. Neutral. ‘I’m just looking out for a colleague.’

  Juliet stared at him for a long moment and felt something stir inside her. Felt something she definitely didn’t want to feel. ‘I’m not in trouble, Dr McEwan, and I’m not your colleague. We’re two strangers who just happen to have our sights set on the same mountain. That doesn’t make us colleagues.’

  It was a warning.

  Don’t come any closer.

  His gaze didn’t shift from her face. ‘Up on that mountain, we’re all part of the same team, you know that as well as I do. The fortunes of one person are inextricably linked with all the others,’ he drawled softly, strolling across to her and pausing only inches away from where she was seated. ‘Which brings me to my next question. What are you doing here, Dr Adams? What the hell are you doing here?’

  Her heart beat faster. ‘Why shouldn’t I be here?’ Juliet rose to her feet, flustered and boiling with frustration, and then wished she’d remained seated because standing merely brought her closer to Finn McEwan and closer to Finn McEwan was one place she really, really didn’t want to be.

  He stood within touching distance, hard and tough, a man with a strength, maturity and presence that set him apart from other men. It crossed her mind that he made Simon look like an adolescent—over-eager to score with women and then brag of his successes. Still very much a boy despite the outward appearance of manhood.

  In contrast, there was nothing of the boy in Finn McEwan. He was all man.

  She felt a throb of awareness deep inside her—something sexual that she’d long denied.

  ‘I’m doing exactly what you’re doing, Dr McEwan.’ In an attempt to halt the slow, insidious curl low in her pelvis, Juliet took several steps backwards, increasing the distance between them. ‘Combining my interest in high-altitude medicine with my love of climbing.’

  Finn didn’t comment on her retreat but she knew his eyes had noticed the movement. She saw the sudden narrowing and the silent question in those dark depths.

  ‘Climbing Everest is hardly an everyday sort of hobby,’ he said mildly, and she tilted her chin, aiming for angry. Angry was so much safer than sexually aware.

  ‘Do you feel threatened by strong women, Finn?’ Her eyes flashed him a challenge. ‘Are you more comfortable with stereotypes? Do you expect a woman to stay at home and knit and bake cakes while waiting for her man to return from a day’s hunting?’

  There was a moment’s silence while he scanned her face, his expression thoughtful. ‘I think a person should be whatever they want to be,’ he said finally, ‘and should travel in whatever direction they wish to travel in life, irrespective of sex or age.’

  Her eyes clashed with his and held for a long, breathless moment. Her heart stumbled in her chest. ‘So why don’t you think a woman like me should be on the mountain?’

  ‘I suppose I’m just wondering whether you’re doing what you want to do or whether something else entirely is driving you.’ He looked at her with that lazy, masculine scrutiny that she found so unsettling. ‘What exactly are you doing here, Dr Adams?’

  This wasn’t a conversation that she wanted to have. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

  ‘No?’ His gaze didn’t shift from hers. ‘Mountains are harsh and unforgiving. They make man feel strong and invincible and then reveal him as puny. They force you to take risks and then make you pay, possibly the ultimate price. Is that what you want? Are those the risks you truly want to take?’

  Her heart beat a little faster. ‘I don’t take risks, Dr McEwan.’

  His mouth curved into a faint smile. ‘Just being here is a risk, and you know that as well as I do. You could get seriously hurt, or worse.’

  ‘Maybe we have a different definition of risk. I happen to call this living.’ As if to illustrate her point, she breathed in deeply and glanced around her, her green eyes shining in the semi-darkness. ‘And as for hurt…’ She gave a tiny shrug. ‘It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do in life, you can’t avoid being hurt. I can play it safe and still manage to get hurt. I can be hit by a bus, stabbed by a patient and I can get my heart broken by a man.’

  There was the briefest of pauses and when Finn spoke his voice sounded strangely harsh in the cold night air. ‘And is that what happened to you, Dr Adams? Did you get your heart broken by a man?’

  Tension throbbed between them and for a moment Juliet couldn’t find the breath to speak. She pushed the memories back into the past and reminded herself that climbing a mountain was all about moving forward in slow steps. And life was like a mountain. ‘It was just a phrase. Hearts don’t break, Dr McEwan.’ She tilted her head, ignoring the fact that her pulse was dancing a jig. It was the altitude, she told herself. Just the altitude. ‘Arteries get clogged, valves degenerate and muscles weaken and die, but hearts don’t break. You’re a doctor. You should know that.’

  He inhaled sharply. ‘I know that there’s a great deal about the human body we don’t understand.’

  ‘And never will. A bit like life.’ She gave a little shiver and wrapped her arms around her waist. ‘It’s getting cold. I’m going back inside. Goodnight, Dr McEwan.’

  Finn’s hesitation was barely perceptible. ‘Goodnight, Dr Adams. Sleep well.’

  She knew she wouldn’t and she suspected he knew that, too.

  As she walked away, she thought she heard him mutter, ‘And if there’s a lock on your door, use it.’ But she decided that she must have imagined it.

  Finn stood still in the dark and the cold and watched Juliet go. He wanted to call her back, wanted to make her stay and talk long into the night until he’d got right inside her head, but instead he kept silent and watched the door swing closed behind her, his last glimpse of her focused on the blonde plait that hung down her back.

  The man in him saw soft curves, creamy skin and green eyes that sparked and teased. He saw temptation and seduction in every graceful movement of those long limbs. He saw guts mingled with a vulnerability that could cut a man off at the kne
es.

  The doctor in him wondered whether she had enough body fat to make the strenuous assault on the world’s highest mountain. He knew that about fifteen per cent of body weight was lost after three months at high altitude. He had a better than fair experience of women’s bodies and he was willing to bet money that Dr Adams couldn’t afford to lose fifteen per cent.

  Would she make it to the top of Everest?

  With a soft curse he reminded himself that her fitness wasn’t his problem.

  The fact that she was trekking to one of the most inhospitable places on earth wasn’t his problem.

  Finn was used to climbing with strong women and he would never have dreamed of offering assistance unless it was requested. So why was she different? Why did he suddenly have a need to switch teams and anchor himself firmly to her side for the duration of the expedition?

  Why did he have a powerful urge to bundle her straight back on that terrifying flight and deliver her safely back to Kathmandu?

  Finn let out a vicious curse and reminded himself that feeling over-protective was his problem. She’d made it clear enough that she wouldn’t welcome his interference or his protection.

  And he had no right to offer it.

  ‘Climb, Jules, Climb!’

  Juliet was eight years old and clinging to a rockface in frozen terror while her big brother grinned down at her from above. Daniel Adams. Daredevil and wild boy. To her he was a god. Fourteen years old and totally fearless, whereas she could hardly breathe for fear. It gripped her in its jaws like a wild beast, preventing movement, and now she was stuck, clinging to the exposed rockface, paralysed by the enormity of the risk she was taking. ‘I’m going to fall!’

  Her fingers tightened in the tiny crack and her toes felt numb.

  She was going to let go.

  ‘You’re not going to fall and even if you do, I’ll catch you because we’re roped together.’ Her brother’s voice was impatient. ‘Look up, not down. Concentrate. Feel the rock. Go for it, Jules, you can do it! You’re my sister!’

  A moment of delicious pride mingled with the panic.

  She didn’t want to go for it. She just wanted to curl up in a ball away from risk, but she’d discovered that the biggest high on earth was her older brother’s approval. And she couldn’t fall because to fall would be to fail and no one in her family ever failed at anything.

  Everyone in her family was bold and fearless and kicked against the life-throttling ropes of convention. And she was going to be the same.

  So she closed her eyes and tried to forget the drop beneath her.

  She tried to forget that climbing terrified her. She tried to forget that heights made her stomach roll.

  And she climbed.

  Upwards, towards her brother’s approving smile. Her brother always smiled. And he was still smiling when he lost his footing moments later and plunged headlong down the sheer rockface, dragging her with him into a dark, dark void of terror and death.

  CHAPTER THREE

  JULIET woke in a sweat, her breathing rapid and her pulse thundering, a sick feeling deep in the pit of her stomach.

  Darkness still engulfed the room and she had a frantic need to turn on the light, to remove the feeling of menace that pressed down on her. But the other occupants of the room were still sleeping and she knew she couldn’t make a sound. To do so would be to attract attention and she didn’t want attention. She needed privacy to compose herself and drag her mind back into a comfortable place.

  So instead she sat upright on her bunk and hooked her arms around her knees, trying to breathe slowly and think boring daytime thoughts. Trying to push away the lingering tentacles of the nightmare. But even in her state of full wakefulness, the images lingered, frighteningly vivid and all too real.

  Why now, when she hadn’t had the dream for years?

  Why tonight?

  Her mouth was dry and she reached for her water bottle and drank deeply.

  She knew why, of course. She knew exactly why.

  The memory would fade, she reminded herself as she replaced the top on her water bottle and lay down on her bunk, knowing that she wouldn’t sleep again that night.

  She didn’t dare, in case the dream came back again.

  So she lay in the dark, listening to the rhythmic breathing of the others in the room and fighting off the demons of her past.

  Despite her fears, Juliet dozed off only to wake again at six, freezing cold and with a thumping headache.

  Stress or the first signs of altitude sickness?

  She tugged on extra layers and carefully packed her duffel bag ready for the Sherpas to add to their load. Then she joined the others for breakfast, hoping they were in better shape than her.

  They were eating omelette and fried bread and instantly she could see that both Gary and Simon looked the worse for wear, although the two girls seemed quite lively.

  ‘How was your night?’ She addressed the two men without any great confidence that they’d tell her the truth. She’d already decided that she was going to have to find a way of breaking down those macho barriers so that she could gain a real picture of their physical state.

  She made a mental note to talk to each of the young men separately, hoping that without peer pressure they might be prepared to open up.

  They lingered over breakfast and were just packing up to leave when one of their Sherpas came running along the path towards them.

  ‘Dr Juliet, you need to come. Cook has accident.’

  Juliet grabbed the pack that contained a basic first-aid kit and followed him without question, wondering what had happened.

  Despite the availability of accommodation, the Sherpas preferred to set up their own tent and one of them had managed to cut himself badly while preparing breakfast.

  He was sitting on a boulder, blood pouring from his finger, a horrified expression on his face.

  ‘I need some water, Pemba,’ Juliet instructed quickly, delving into her pack and dragging out her first-aid kit. She cleaned the wound so that she could get a better look at what was going on and decided that it wasn’t going to need stitches.

  ‘Wound very deep,’ Pemba said sorrowfully, and Juliet gave him a reassuring smile.

  ‘It’s not that deep, Pemba. I’ll give it a proper clean and put some steristrips on it.’

  ‘Stitches?’

  ‘Paper stitches,’ Juliet amended, but he nodded with satisfaction and she decided it really didn’t matter whether he thought they were proper stitches or not. The finger would be treated and that was what counted.

  As expedition doctor she was responsible for the health of the Sherpas as well as the Western climbers and trekkers, and she took that responsibility very seriously indeed. In her opinion they were all entitled to the same care. In truth, the injury was minor, but she didn’t want them to think that they were less important to her so she gave the injury more attention than she otherwise might have done.

  Once the finger was securely dressed she rose to her feet and swung her pack onto her back.

  ‘It should be fine, but if it gives you a problem, let me know.’

  The injured Sherpa gazed at his neatly bandaged finger with pride and Juliet hid a smile.

  He was like a child, seeking attention.

  She rejoined her party at the teahouse and finally they set off, following the trail that would lead them to the next village.

  Neil led and Juliet stayed at the back, intending to sweep up any stragglers and hoping for some peace and quiet to sort out her pounding headache.

  She was out of luck.

  ‘Good morning, Dr Adams.’ It was Finn McEwan, looking rested and relaxed and disturbingly handsome. Dark stubble covered his jaw and he’d stripped down to a T-shirt, exposing broad shoulders and hard muscle. He looked strong and fit and more than capable of tackling the word’s highest mountain.

  In comparison she felt tired and weak and every step was a monumental effort.

  She stood to one side to let
him pass. ‘I expect you want to get going,’ she said politely, ‘so feel free to overtake.’

  His eyes rested on her face. ‘You’re looking pale, Dr Adams. Bad night?’

  She tensed, remembering the nightmares. And the cause of them. ‘I slept fine,’ she lied. ‘How about you?’

  ‘Never better.’ He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘Maybe you should spend another day here if the altitude is bothering you.’

  ‘The altitude isn’t bothering me,’ she said immediately, and his eyes narrowed.

  ‘Which means that something else is. Anything you want to talk about?’

  She looked him straight in the eye. ‘What would I possibly want to talk about?’

  He was silent for a long moment, his eyes on her face. ‘Obviously nothing.’

  ‘That’s right.’ She gave him a bright smile that took the last of her energy. ‘Glad to see you in such good form, Dr McEwan. I’m sure nothing will hold you back today. Are you walking with your group?’

  He shook his head. ‘We’re all traveling independently and meeting at Base Camp. So I’m more than happy to provide extra muscle for your expedition, Dr Adams.’

  Her heart sank. She really, really didn’t want him hanging around. ‘We’re fine,’ she said stiffly, ‘and we’re going to take it slowly today so you might want to just do your own thing.’

  Please, let him do his own thing. The last thing she needed was his company on the trek.

  But if she was hoping he’d take the hint and walk on up the trail she was doomed to disappointment because he stayed close to her, and at that moment Sally joined them.

  ‘Dr McEwan!’ Her pretty face flushed pink with delight when she saw him and she fell into step beside him. ‘I’ve got your textbook on high-altitude medicine on my bookshelf at home and your book on climbing. I’ve read it and reread it. It’s amazing.’

  Irritated by the blatant hero-worship, Juliet gritted her teeth but Finn simply looked amused.