Killing Casanova

by Traci McDonald

  The silver Mitsubishi came to a stop in a cloud of dusty gravel in front of Miriam Sorenson’s farm house. Through the screen door he could see movement in the kitchen and heard Miriam’s voice, but he didn’t hear Heidi’s.

  Climbing from the car, he vaulted the porch steps and knocked gently on the door before swinging it open and poking his head through. “It’s Jake,” he called out, before entering the warm kitchen, passing first through the wide screened porch that served as the dining hall for the weekend groups. Stepping up to the hardwood floors, Jake threw a half smile to the women who were sitting around a pine table, eating sandwiches and drinking lemonade. Miriam sat at the end, her dark hair sticking to her moist forehead. Jana Pembrooke and Lacey Gibson sat at either side of her and looked up as Jake sauntered through the door. Lacey grinned at him, her brown eyes inspecting every feature and her lips widening at his smile. Jana just stared. He had met Jana a bunch of times, but whenever he tried polite conversation or even just looked at her, the girl was practically comatose.

  “Jake,” Lacey said pulling out the chair beside her at the table and patting the seat. “Come have lunch with us. You look good enough to eat.” Lacey jumped in her chair a little, and Jake saw Jana’s mouth drop in blatant embarrassment at the girl’s comment. It quickly became obvious to Jake that Miriam had kicked Lacey under the table, and Jana had felt the jolt of it as well.

  Jake smiled crookedly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and watching the looks pass between the three girls.

  “I’d love to have lunch with three such beautiful ladies,” he drawled casually, “but one of the Caswell women has sent me and the other is expecting a ride home, so my lunch hour doesn’t belong to me.” A new blush of scarlet crossed Jana’s cheeks, and Jake smiled at her to ensure it would remain. “Can you tell me where to find Heidi?”

  Lacey flashed him another tempestuous look and started to rise from her seat when Miriam placed a hand over hers and stood herself. “Lacey, you and Jana finish up in here, and I’ll take Jake to the barn.”

  Jake grinned again as the blond girl’s face fell in disappointment, and Miriam squashed it with a warning glance.

  “Come on, Jake,” Miriam said, taking him by the arm and hustling him out the door.

  She didn’t give Lacey or the still-silent Jana the chance to protest. Waiting for the screen door to slam before pinching his arm, Miriam scolded, “Jake Caswell, you know those girls will be useless to me for the rest of the day. The least you could do when you come is show up after a round up or a day repairing fences.” Jake held back a chuckle as Miriam looked back at the screen door to the kitchen. “You show up here looking like … that.” She punctuated the word with a flourish of her hand toward him. “And I’ll be lucky if I can get you off my land without one of my girls stowed away in the trunk of your car.”

  “I’ll try and remember,” he said faking a serious tone. “Hot, sweaty, and filthy. And I’m welcome.”

  Miriam looked up at him with a sideways glance and a grin on her face. “That probably wouldn’t be any better,” she said with a shake of her head and a failing frown. “We’ll just have to learn to keep the girls out in the paddock when you come to pick up Heidi.”

  He tried to look apologetic as they rounded the corner of the barn, and Miriam stopped, pointing toward the corrals. “She’s just finishing up with Applesauce and Cassie. You’ll see them on the other side of the doors.”

  Jake smiled again and lifted an eyebrow questioningly, “Cassie? Aren’t you worried about Cassie being useless for the day? Especially if I’m such a distraction for your girls?”

  Miriam turned to head back to the house and pivoted back to look at Jake. “Have you ever met Cassie?” she asked, the edge of something in her question.

  “A couple of times at Mcgoo’s,” he answered keeping his expression blank. Miriam tilted an eyebrow and then shot him a half-hearted smile.

  “So … then, she gets all befuddled when you’re around, too?”

  Jake didn’t answer with anything except a shrug of his shoulders, and Miriam gave him a watery smile. “I think Cassie will be all right,” she said, suddenly brightening and waving him toward the spot she had showed him.

  • • •

  Jake watched her return to the big house and then turned toward the barn doors as he heard laughter drifting through the wide opening toward him.

  “Showtime, Jake,” he murmured as he steadied himself against the sound of Cassie’s presence as he walked through the shadowed recesses of the barn. The summer sun was baking the smell of leather, feed, hay, and dirt into a steamy cloud as he passed beneath the loft, and he rushed through it to step into the sunlight. He could see Heidi’s long dark hair swaying in the breeze that trickled through the corral as she rubbed her gray mare Applesauce down with a dry cloth.

  Heidi loved that horse, despite being generally afraid of the animals. She had become attached to the old mare’s warm, dark eyes and velvet muzzle the first time Jake had showed her how to pet it. Jake shook his head at the sight of the ugly beast standing placidly in the hot sun with the two girls. Applesauce wasn’t exactly a swaybacked nag, but her coat was mottled gray, like granite that couldn’t decide which shade to be. Her back and legs were thick and strong, but the horse paid no mind to speed or destination, preferring to meander like a wandering brook. The placid nature of the old horse convinced Heidi she could be around the gentle animal.

  Jake’s mustang, Deseo, had been caught and tamed from the wild herd that ran in the deep meadows of the high country, and Heidi was terrified of the blond stallion. Deseo snorted like a wild bull and was given to unannounced mad dashes even under Jake’s firm hand. But Jake loved the horse’s unquenchable spirit and the freedom he felt riding bareback through the stands of aspens climbing the slopes of the lower Sierras.

  His dad had given Applesauce to Miriam, hoping the methodical plod of the old mare would help Heidi learn at least to walk the exercise ring on her back. Both Heidi and the mare had made a lot of progress lately, and Jake suspected Cassie was at least partially responsible. A month ago Heidi hadn’t gotten any closer to the horse than the stretch of her fingers toward her silken nose, but now she pulled carrots from her pockets and was letting the horse eat directly out of her hand.

  Grinning broadly as he walked quietly to the corral to watch her, Jake saw the trepidation mixed with elation light Heidi’s dancing eyes. He was still a few steps back from where Cassie leaned against the side of the rails of the corral, whispering soft words into the horse’s ear. A sudden gust of wind blew from behind Jake, and he brushed a tangle of curls back from his forehead, with his fingertips, letting the cool touch of the slight wind soften the sun’s glare.

  Cassie suddenly stiffened her back and stood straight, pulling back from Applesauce and holding her hand up, palm out toward Jake. In a quiet whisper, he barely heard her warn him to stop.

  Jake stood quietly a broad smile across his face; she hadn’t even seen him. She had sensed that distraction Miriam had complained to him about earlier, and his expression became smug at her inability to ignore him when he was near.

  “Heidi,” Jake heard Cassie say softly. “When she’s finished, let’s let her run back out in the pasture. Your brother is here to get you.” Heidi looked up from her scrutiny of Applesauce’s lips and teeth in the palm of her hand and noticed Jake, arms crossed over his chest, waiting behind Cassie.

  Jake’s sudden appearance startled Heidi, and she dropped the remnants of the half eaten carrots to the ground with a shaky smile. “Hi, Yake,” she whispered loudly. “Do you see I’m feeding the horse?”

  Jake smiled widely at her, and then took two more steps to stand beside Cassie at the rail.

  “She’s not even scared of me or anything. Cassie says she trusts me, and if I trust her there isn’t anything we can’t do, even ride … fast.”

  Applesauce finished the carrot in her mouth, and the girl, bright-eyed and eager, pulled
back from the horse. Jake shot Cassie a crooked smile; now she would see him truly, not in a bar, not sullen and avoiding Natalie. Just that unmistakable, palpable presence she could not fight.

  Heidi moved the rail from the corral behind her to let the horse back into the field, and then turned for approval from Jake.

  Jake grinned widely at her, “You are so good with that horse, Heidi. I think you might be ready to come break mustangs in Wyoming with me.”

  Jake saw his mistake at once, as Heidi turned wild eyed to look at him, fear running rampant in her face.

  He meant to encourage her progress, as he put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Her brimming eyes and trembling shoulders made it clear he had failed. He was usually so careful with his words, especially where Heidi was concerned. Distracted by his plans for charming Cassie, he hadn’t been thinking. Cassie was not charmed, though. Her back stiffened at Heidi’s response.

  “No, Yake, no,” she said pushing away from him. “You said you’re not leaving until September, and then the snow will be too deep in Wyoming for riding horses. You promised me, Yake. You promised me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said over and over again, rubbing her bare arms and looking directly into her overflowing eyes. “You’re right. No Wyoming, no mustangs. I’m sorry I said that. Calm down, sweetie, there’s no reason to panic. I was being stupid, I’m not going, you’re not going. I wasn’t thinking.”

  Heidi buried her head against Jake’s chest, and he threw an apologetic smile at Cassie, who stood stone-faced. After Jake had assured Heidi they were not going to Wyoming another hundred times, she wiped her eyes and leaned exhausted against his shoulder. Jake smiled brokenly at Cassie, still trying to get a flicker of something from her unyielding features, but her expression remained unwavering.

  “I hope I didn’t just set you back,” Jake mumbled apologetically. “I really am impressed with how far you have gotten her.”

  “It’s not me, Jake. Heidi is like most people … and horses too. She is remarkable when she is partnered with someone … or something …” Cassie said gesturing toward the pasture, “that she trusts.”

  Jake made no movement and his mouth fought back another sharp retort, as if Cassie had just accused him of something, but he didn’t know what.

  Cassie tossed her hair, now copper in the sunlight, over her shoulder and turned her back to them. “You better take her home, Jake. She’s had a long day, and I think she needs you to hang onto her for awhile.”

  Jake nodded, forgetting his ulterior motives for being there. That distant all-seeing look was in her eyes, and this was not the time to try and change her mind about who he was. He needed to reassure Heidi instead.

  Chapter Eight

  “Jake, what are you doing?” Cassie leaned her back against the corral’s railing. She had known Jake was behind her and Heidi before he had appeared. She caught a whiff of the faint hint of his soap and skin, mingled with the smell of the barn as it had drifted on the breeze. Her only concern had been his effect on the horse and Heidi if his sudden presence were to startle either of them. She had not predicted that artificial charm of his would drip from his lips, to bounce back and smack him in the face, though. Heidi was going to be fine, but now whatever Jake’s careful appearance had been arranged to accomplish, Heidi had distracted him from his purpose.

  Cassie tossed her hair back from her neck, sticky in the burning afternoon sun, finally allowing herself a smile. She listened as Jake talked calmly and smoothly to his little sister. A pang of incredulity bit at her heart. His voice was different when he was sincere. She had heard the difference in the canyon that evening with Kirstie, and she heard it now as Jake talked with his sister as they approached the deeper recesses of the barn. It had been in every word he had said since his arrival. Though it may have backfired on him, he had been truly honest in his appraisal of Heidi’s newly developed skills with her horse.

  Cassie mentally chastised herself for not intervening after Heidi’s misunderstanding. She could have at least encouraged his gentle and appropriate handling of the frantic young girl. With her mind racing, Cassie turned her face toward the sound of his car and grimaced darkly. Fear had never made for good decisions. Why did she have such a tenuous grip on her opinion of a guy who was about as deep as a puddle in the desert?

  The depths of his voice poked in her thoughts as she listened to him calmly reassure Heidi. She could tell he was behind the barn and would not assume she could hear him, so she tuned her ears into his charismatic tones.

  “Heidi, I’m going to put you in my car. I will tell Miriam we are going, and then we will drive back to the farm, together. I’m not leaving, I am going home too.”

  Cassie smiled again as he carefully reassured Heidi. He did know how to be real; maybe he was just out of practice with other women.

  Chapter Nine

  Jake settled Heidi into the passenger side of his car, then strode quickly to the kitchen door of the house. Miriam frowned. “You okay?”

  Jake smiled. “We’re fine, I just stuck my foot in my mouth with Heidi, and I need to take her home.”

  Miriam nodded with sudden clarity in her brown eyes, turning back for the dishes. With a half-hearted wave she excused him, and Jake retreated the way he had come in, hoping to avoid any more entanglements. He jogged quickly to his car, slipping into the driver’s seat, persuading the ignition to life.

  Backing out of the driveway, Jake saw a flash of auburn hair in the rearview mirror, and he watched it dance in the quavering wind. Grimacing as she turned toward the sound of his car, Jake took his eyes from the reflection of her icy glare in the glass. The look on her face was stern and disapproving, and he curled his upper lip in distaste as it prodded his guilt into irritation.

  “I’m sorry about that, Heidi,” he said under his breath. “I think you and Cassie are doing great with Applesauce. I’m just sorry she had to be there to see me mess everything up.”

  Heidi had been quiet now that her tears had subsided, and she suddenly turned to stare wide eyed at Jake’s unhappy expression.

  “Yake,” she said, scowling. “You should not talk about the horses, but it doesn’t matter if you mess up with Cassie there, too.”

  “I don’t think she likes me very much. I don’t like Cassie seeing me mess up. I want her to like me.”

  Heidi wrinkled her brow, and Jake tried to think of what he had said that would have caused such confusion on her pretty face. “But Yake,” she said plaintively, “Cassie can’t see anything. She’s blind.”

  Stunned silence filled the car as Jake drove the rest of the way home. Heidi wanted to know why he looked so funny, and why Cassie didn’t like him, and why this and why that, but Jake just shook his head, mumbling pacifying responses. His thoughts were numb, but his mind raced to understand what Heidi had said. Maybe she had just meant that Cassie was blind to his charms or good looks or ... ? Heidi didn’t know how to use the word blind figuratively. When she said Cassie was blind, she meant Cassie was physically blind.

  Images from the few times she had met him coursed through his memory. Those pale blue eyes, almost haunting, the way she would look out into a room and see … nothing. How she could talk to him without looking at him, as if she were focused on someone else in the room. Jake shook his head slightly, and Heidi looked at him.

  “Yake, why doesn’t Cassie like you? I tell her all the time how nice you are, and how much you work with the cows and the horses, and how I think you should live here with me and mom and dad. She always says I’m lucky to have such a good big brother, but I tell her there is no luck, just genes. We have the same genes.”

  Jake listened with a halting smile as Heidi babbled beside him like a mountain brook. She had forgotten about the mustangs and was now completely focused on Cassie. She had a million things to say, and she told him all about Cassie. Cassie had come to work for Miriam because she was trained in equine therapy but specialized in mobility and independence for th
e blind. She was from Danbury, Connecticut, and had been on horseback since she had gone blind when she was four years old. She had gone to Missoula, Montana, for college where she got her psychology and sociology degree and had preferred the heartier Western stock to the blue-blooded horses on the expensive farms of Connecticut. She had lived in New Mexico and Arizona before coming to Lindley to work for Miriam.

  “How did she go blind?”

  “Her eyes stopped working,” Heidi said sleepily. Jake rolled his eyes and smiled at her as they pulled the car up to the ranch house.

  “So do you know what made them stop working?”

  Heidi shook her head.

  “She just said that when she was four, her head got sick and her eyes stopped working.”

  Jake frowned slightly. “Her head?”

  Heidi yawned again, and Jake turned off the ignition switch.

  “Her brain or something else in her head?”

  Heidi was out of the car and halfway up the steps without an answer, and Jake sat still in the silence of the front of his car. She’s blind, he thought, mystified. He’d never known anyone before who … no, that wasn’t true. He had met blind people before. Met, kept a polite distance from, and respected from afar.

  But Cassie? Jake was still thinking about all the misinterpretations of her he had made, his conscious thought fighting back the realization that it was selfish and cruel but the first thing about her he had understood since meeting her. She had no idea what he looked like. She was not swept away like the other women because the sheer power of his rugged good looks was lost on her.

  Jake smiled broadly, feeling the sense of relief finally allowed a foothold. She wasn’t oblivious to his attraction, she just couldn’t see it. He laughed now, at her, at himself for being worried.