Learning to Let Go

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  A couple days passed and I still refused to leave Laurel’s side, even for a moment, unless Grace and Jonathan were there to watch her. I didn’t trust anyone. I knew that Chase had access to money and with that brought the ability to get where you needed and buy people onto your staff. I only left her side long enough for a quick shower before returning to her.

  “We may need to break down and tell her parents, or at least her brother, Donny,” Grace said at the end of day three. “He’s called my cell several times today, insisting on talking with her. I’ve told him that she was away right now and not sure when she was returning, but I don’t think he’s buying it. The only good thing is that she’s done this before to him, when she’s been working hard on a major project, so he’ll just have to wait her out,” she admitted.

  I knew Donny hated everything about me, so it wouldn’t be wise to talk with him myself, at least not yet. “Let’s give her another day to see how things are progressing. If it looks like she’ll be coming around soon, then she can talk with him personally. I know we should let someone within her family know what happened, but I don’t want to lose her trust even more, Grace.”

  “Nor do I,” Grace agreed. “I’ll see what I can do to hold him off and pray that she’s able to come out of this soon.”

  My father walked in holding Laurel’s chart. “I’m glad to see all of you here. The last CAT scan came in and shows the brain tissue is back to normal. The sutures on her arms, legs, head and private area have sealed over and will unlikely separate when she starts moving.” He paused for a moment, which kept us on the edge of our seats, before finally smiling and happily sharing, “We won’t administer the next set of coma-inducing drugs; instead, we’ll continue to give her pain medicine. It will make her a little groggy, but we’re going to start waking her up.”

  I leaned forward, using both of my hands and my knees to support my head. I sighed audibly. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted. My heart began to beat again for the first time in days. I would get to see my girl again soon! I watched Dad checking her pupils and pulse points, turning when a nurse came in with some restraints.

  “What the hell are they for?!” I demanded. No one was going to tie my girl down, not unless she ever wanted that for play, and then only with me.

  “No need to blow a gasket, son. They’ll only remain on Laurel for the time it takes for her to wake up. Some patients wake up violently, remembering the events that led them to be here, and often rip out IVs and cause themselves more harm. This is only a means to ensure she doesn’t hurt herself. They’ll be loose and once she’s fully awake, they’ll be removed.” My father’s voice was calm and steady as he explained everything, providing all of us with some reassurance.

  Grace and I both gasped and had to turn our heads as the nurse and my father restrained Laurel’s arms to the sides of the bed. We were furious by the move, but understood the precautions needed so she didn’t reinjure herself. Regardless of our frustration with their procedures, we were hopeful that this meant she’d wake up soon and we would see her amazing eyes and wonderful smile again.

  Over the course of the next twelve hours, Grace and I stayed by her bedside as she started showing signs of waking. Her hands twitched when any of us spoke with her or recalled pleasant things. Her heartbeat seemed to pick up when I talked about how much she meant to me. I was certain she could hear us now.

  Grace had gone down to the cafeteria to get us some coffee and I was half dozing on the side of Laurel’s bed, holding her hand, when a squawk came across the police officer’s radio outside her door. Then the hospital security officer, who was stationed next to the local officer, reached for his radio as it went off.

  “We have a visual on the perp entering in through a side door on the south entrance of the hospital,” the police officer’s radio blared. “Stand your position; we’re in pursuit. We’re tracking him on foot; visual cameras are down for all corridors he’s currently on. Extra backup is heading your way.”

  The police officer came in to let me know they were trying to either capture Chase or, at the least, drive him from the hospital. He assured me he’d continue to stand guard while Security locked down the hospital. As he spoke, bells and sirens went off and the automatic doors closed all over the ICU, effectively locking us in. Grace had just returned with the coffee and Jonathan followed her in to check on all of us, just managing to step inside the door as it closed. It looked like we would be here for a while.

  I could imagine the desperate look on Chase’s face, disturbingly intent on getting to Laurel. The image we were able to pull off of the cameras at Waters Towers showed how smug he looked entering the building and how panicked he appeared when exiting.

  Grace had done an amazing job at identifying him. When I first saw the picture, I felt I knew him from somewhere, but I knew we’d never met. My mind flashed back to a memory of someone a little older than Chase was now, in dated clothing with a hairstyle from my early childhood. What the heck was that all about?

  Jonathan hugged Grace close to him while she cried, telling us her fear of Chase getting to us, especially to Laurel. I continued to hold Laurel’s hand, reassuring her that I’d never let her out of my sight again.

  “I’ll be your protector, your trusted friend, your lover, and anything you want me to be, if you just wake up, darling.” I’d never let my emotions be on display normally, but for Laurel, I’d admit anything just to have her back with us.

  I heard a soft moan, followed by a whimper, escape Laurel’s lips. Her hand clenched tightly, fisting around mine. She started jerking a little. I looked to Grace, who was already out the door, calling for the nurses. Was she aware of what was going on with security? Is that why she’s struggling?

  My father, Dr. Harris Waters, was immediately paged to ICU. While we waited for my dad to arrive, Grace and I talked softly to Laurel, providing words of encouragement for her to wake up.

  “Come on, girl,” Grace crooned, “wake up and let’s see the fight you have inside you. I know you don’t want to lie here anymore. Donny’s been driving me nuts calling you; he needs to hear your voice. We all do. Garrett is a wreck and hasn’t left your side. Now snap out of that haze of yours and come back to us.” Grace sure knew how to tell it like it is. I guess that’s why Jonathan seemed so taken by her.

  I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “I’m sorry I failed you, sweetheart. I give you my word to do everything in my power to regain your trust and to keep you safe. My heart aches for you to wake up so that I can hold you in my arms again.” I could feel my emotions getting the better of me over the thought of never having Laurel in my life. Why am I so conflicted? I can’t accept the idea of dating, yet I don’t want to imagine a life without her? Am I doomed to have history repeat itself and everyone I care for or love will be taken away from me? Or was it time to take a chance at happiness? All I knew was that I needed her.

  Dad rushed in a moment later and took her vitals, murmuring to himself. He smiled at me and took his ophthalmoscope out to check her eyes for a response. As he lifted her eyelid and began to shine the light, her back shot up and she screamed.

  “Get away from me, you bastard! You’ll never have my heart! I hate you, Chase!” Laurel struggled against her restraints, apparently believing she was being held by Chase.

  My dad called for a shot of benzodiazepine, injecting it into her IV within what felt like seconds. The nurse tried to calm her and it was only a moment before she was asleep again.

  “What the hell, Dad?” My heart felt like it was ready to beat out of my chest at all the excitement. I didn’t know whether to push everyone out of the way to protect her or if I needed to step back and let him do his job.

  Jonathan wrapped his arms around my chest, holding my arms pinned at my side as he pulled me back, giving my father and nurse room to work.

  Dad raised his hands calmly. “She’s not fully awake; her vitals are still indicating that she’s on the edge of waking.
Her mind reacted to a fight or flight situation. Apparently, she heard that Chase was coming for her and her subconscious had a delayed reaction.”

  I’d had it. I couldn’t take anymore, shaking Jonathan off me as I yelled, “I’m done waiting around here like a sitting duck, just asking him to come and get her!” I barely restrained myself from punching the wall again. “Is she stable enough to be transported?” I asked, looking pointedly at my father, who hesitated. “Damn it, Dad, can we move her or not?!”

  My father’s expression was confused. “Yes, she’s stable enough, but where do you plan on taking her?”

  My face must’ve shown my grim determination, because neither my father nor Jonathan or Grace attempted to stop my plans. “We need to help Laurel progress somewhere safe, so I need you to call in whatever equipment we’ll need, and I need a doctor and nurse who can stay on property to monitor her. I want to set up whatever you feel is necessary for her at my other place.” I mouthed the words “beach house” to my father so he would understand where I was headed with this.

  My dad asked. “There’s no talking you out of this is there?”

  I just shook my head.

  “You do realize the ramifications of moving Laurel?” he asked pointedly. I could tell he was trying his best to remain calm; he probably wanted to shake me and tell me to let him do his damn job. “She’s stable and can be transported,” he admitted, “but you have to understand that moving her could delay her recovery…”

  I zoned out on all the various issues that could go wrong. All I could think about was how I needed to hide her away from Chase and make it impossible for him to find her. I just kept nodding and agreeing with my dad until he finally finished, looking back and forth between Grace and me.

  “So you both still want to do this?

  We nodded in agreement.

  “Are you going to call her parents yet?” he continued to push.

  Grace handled that one, thank goodness. “When she wakes up, I’ll make sure she talks with them and her brother. She’ll be the one responsible for telling them, though, not us.” She looked over at me and gave me a small grimace of a smile.

  My dad sighed in resignation. “You have to be responsible about this, Garrett,” he stressed. “Regardless of the medical professionals and supplies I can get you, this is still serious business. She’s recovering from head trauma.”

  I hugged my dad close, encouraged by the squeeze he gave my shoulders, and nodded to Grace, who practically scurried away to make a list of what we’d need. I placed a few calls to Thompson and began putting my plan into action, offering to pay through the nose to make this all happen within a few hours. We knew Chase had to be watching the hospital from somewhere, looking to gain re-entry, so he’d have to see us moving Laurel. We needed a decoy.

  Within hours, Grace was in a wig and a hospital gown and comfortably resting on a gurney. She was rolled down toward an awaiting ambulance to transport her and my brother, Jonathan, dressed like me with a baseball cap, to the Orlando Executive Airport. A flight plan had been put in place to make Chase believe that Laurel was being flown home to the safety of her family in Blue Ash, Ohio. We hoped to trap Chase trying to follow them. If we couldn’t, then the plane would take off and head toward Ohio in hopes that he would flee the area.

  The plan worked like a charm and he tailed the ambulance to the airport. Unfortunately, he ducked into a hanger and seemed to vanish into thin air when the authorities were in pursuit, which made us believe that he had someone assisting him in alluding capture. Now we just needed to figure out who was helping him.

  While Grace and Jonathan were throwing Chase off the trail, we were able to sneak Laurel out a back entrance and into an unmarked ambulance for transport to my beach house in South Daytona. One of my security team followed not too far behind with Grace and my brother, who had managed to change clothes and sneak off the plane dressed as part of the readiness crew.

  During the ride, Laurel started moaning. The nurse who came with us checked her vitals and said that they were beginning to indicate a waking pattern, assuring me that her moans and groans were perfectly normal.

  “How long before you think she wakes up?” I wondered.

  “I wish I could answer that, Mr. Waters. For some it might be a few hours, others, it takes a day or two. It all depends on her willingness to return to reality.”

  The drive was uneventful and my father, along with Thompson, had pulled through for me, calling in every favor they could to have a room already prepared for Laurel. It was times like this that I was thankful for the money I had accumulated. You’d be surprised what you could pull off with the right amount of cash and people wanting to help someone in need. If I didn’t know I was in a beach house, I’d swear the room we had prepared for Laurel was in a hospital.

  Dr. Peter Givens, my dad’s personal physician and friend, who’d retired recently, offered his services to us, along with his nurse, Lynne. They helped get Laurel settled and were shown to the rooms they would occupy during their stay here. They monitored her vitals and adjusted her medication accordingly while I took over her everyday needs, still refusing to let anyone other than me touch her personally.

  Grace and Jonathan arrived a short while later and were given a room right next to Laurel. I had arranged for Grace to take a leave of absence from work to help assist with her cousin. My brother would stay for only a couple of days before returning to Orlando to help my VP run the company in my absence.

  “My security team has already dropped by my brother’s place and packed bags for both of you, along with some items for Laurel,” I said as I gave Grace a tour of the house. “If there’s anything you need that wasn’t packed, I’ll have one of my team escort you shopping tomorrow.”

  To my surprise, Grace came up and hugged me tight. “Thank you, Garrett. I don’t know where my cousin would be without you in her life.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief that we managed to pull off the plan. The house had been prepped in record time, Chase was on a wild goose chase, everyone got here safely, and Laurel was stable for the time being. I just hoped Grace and I were doing the right thing by not telling her parents and brother yet, at least not until she was further into her recovery.

  My mind was racing with images of Chase coming after me. I knew I blacked out as soon as I hit Garrett’s penthouse. I remembered some of the conversations, but didn’t have much recollection of things beyond that. I knew my mind was floating in and out of consciousness over the last couple of hours—or was it days? I didn’t know. I could feel the gentle whirling of air into my nose and the sound of soft beeps ringing in my ears. Oh God, NO! Please don’t tell me that I’m in the hospital. I won’t let him win this time. He ruined me last time and made me withdraw from life, but not this time!

  I felt weak and sensed that my body had been battered. I could feel someone bathing me and whispering sweet words of love. It was my Garrett. He was taking care of me. I wanted to reach out to him, to grab for his hand and let him know I was here; unfortunately, my body didn’t want to cooperate with my mind and the darkness soon drew me back into slumber.

  “We have a confirmation the perp is in the building,” a strange voice said out of nowhere.

  “I hope they get the jerk this time,” Grace said in the distance.

  Please, no…not Chase! Not here while I can’t defend myself!

  Someone squeezed my hand. “I promise to protect you, my love. I’ll never let you out of my sight again and I’ll earn your trust back. Somehow.” It was Garrett, his voice filled with anguish.

  “Stop blaming yourself, Garrett. If it hadn’t been for you, she would’ve never fought back. How many times do I have to tell you that this is not your fault?” Grace’s voice was determined.

  This wasn’t his fault. I needed to wake up to tell him. Come on and move, body. I need to see Garrett and tell him Grace is right.

  The more I willed my body to move and the more I thought about Chase bei
ng in the building, the more I started to freak out. I don’t know how, but I felt myself scream and my body shot upright, surrounded in pain. Please make the pain go away. This hurts to be like this.

  “She’s having a fight or flight reaction to the situation,” a familiar, authoritative voice said. It sounded like Garrett’s dad; we must be at his hospital.

  I felt a coolness enter my skin, trickling up my arms and down my legs. He must be giving me medicine. That feels so much better. My body started to collapse and I felt Garrett’s hands gently lower me back to the bed. I could hear “transport,” “call in some favors,” and “donation” before I succumbed to the darkness and all was silent.

  I don’t know how much time had passed, but when I woke this time, my nose detected a difference in my surroundings. I was no longer in the sterile environment of the hospital with outside noises in the distance. Now I could just make out the sound of waves and the sweet smells of vanilla body wash as the cool water caressed my arms and then my legs.

  “You’re safe now, darling. There’s no way Chase could get to you where we’re at.”

  His hands were gentle as he continued to bathe the remainder of my body. I was ashamed when I felt his hands part my legs to clean me. Why had I played into Chase’s advances? I know I needed a distraction to grab the frying pan to defend myself with, but could this damage have been avoided?

  I knew I wasn’t able to respond to him verbally, but somehow my body seemed to react because I felt my face flush as he touched the parts of me that set me on fire.

  “I’m just cleaning your wounds, Laurel. The nurse will be in here to doctor them soon.” Garrett’s voice was soft as a whisper and felt reassuring to my ears. “Could you grab her nightshirt and help me dress her, Grace?”

  I felt two pairs of hands gently shift me and dress me in a soft, comfortable shirt. I tried to move. I wanted to help them, but my body felt like a lead weight. I felt trapped in a dark room, just waiting for someone to unlock the door so I could emerge back into my life.