Apache-Colton Series

by Janis Reams Hudson

  Lord, Jessie though with an inward wince. What was Blake going to think of her family?

  She hated lying. She’d never been any good at it. But to keep Blake away from potential harm, she would hold up her end of the bargain with her mother and Rena. Jessie would do her part.

  To still her jangling nerves, she took another sip from her wine glass. Blake’s dubious look had her smiling. “I told you, I’m used to drinking wine with dinner.”

  He cocked his head and narrowed one eye. “How much?”

  “Blake, I’m fine. But if it worries you so much—” She pushed the glass aside. “—I won’t drink any more.”

  It was while she was looking around the room for something to talk about, anything to break the taut silence that enveloped them, that she spotted the man. She turned her head away sharply.

  “What is it?” Blake asked.

  “That man. The sergeant in the corner. Do you see him?”

  “That’s Tipplemire.”

  “You know him?”

  “After a fashion.”

  “Can you think of any reason why he would be following us?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Because I saw him yesterday on our way to the fort. He was on the streetcar. And again on the way back. This…” She glanced around at the sergeant again. “This is too much of a coincidence.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Blake said. “It’s not you he’s following.”

  Jessie’s eyes widened. “You mean he’s the one following you? Have you found out why?”

  Blake shrugged. “He’s just obeying orders.”

  “Don’t treat me like a child, Blake. What’s going on?”

  Blake met her direct stare with one of his own. “Suppose you tell me?”

  Jessie stiffened. “I don’t know what you mean?”

  “I mean, just where are your mother and sister tonight?”

  Jessie’s heart stumbled. She didn’t have to feign the blush that heated her cheeks. She grimaced and looked away. “Someplace they think I’m to young and innocent to see.”

  “Look at me,” Blake commanded. When she did, he studied her a long moment. She was worried about something, he could tell. She was keeping something from him. “Tell me the truth, Jessie, before it’s too late. Did they go to the fort tonight?”

  “No,” she cried. “No, Blake, I swear it.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’m positive. They would have told me.”

  Well, Blake thought, one thing was certain. She was telling the truth. Jessie, bless her beautiful little head, didn’t lie worth a damn. Still, he felt something was wrong.

  It was raining again when they left the restaurant. Blake draped his greatcoat over Jessie to keep her dry as they dashed down the plaza to the hotel. Footsteps echoed behind them.

  Jessie tossed a look over her shoulder. “He’s still following us.”

  “Yeah, and the poor slob has to sit out in the courtyard all night in this rain, just to keep tabs on me.”

  “Does he know you’re aware he’s following you?”

  “We had a little…talk the first day.”

  When they reached the suite, Jessie turned up the lamp she’d left burning low, then glanced around nervously. What was she supposed to do now? Surely Blake wouldn’t go out looking for her mother and Serena. Yet according to her mother, Jessie needed some assurance that he wasn’t planning on going out.

  God, but she hated this deception.

  “Jessie.” His deep voice sent a tremor racing through her.

  Not a tremor of fear or uncertainty, but one of need. She needed to feel his strength surrounding her, wanted desperately to lean against him in the warm circle of his arms. Instead, she had to get him to tell her what he planned to do the rest of the evening.

  With a shiver, she wrapped her arms around herself only to realize she was still wearing his coat. “Oh, here.” She pulled off his greatcoat and started to hand it to him. Then an idea came. It was weak, to be sure, but it was the best she could come up with. “Is that sergeant really going to sit out in the courtyard all night watching to see if you leave?”

  Blake didn’t want to talk about Tipplemire. He didn’t want to talk at all. It had been too long, way too long, since he’d had the chance to hold Jessie in his arms. Now that the opportunity had risen, she wanted to talk about Tipplemire.

  “If that’s what his orders are, that’s what he’ll do.”

  “It’s cold out there,” Jessie said. “Do you suppose…I mean, would you mind…”

  “What is it you want?”

  She chewed on her bottom lip. “I just thought, maybe, if he’s a nice man, like you said, maybe you’d want to loan him your coat. That is, if you’re not going out again.”

  Blake wondered what the hell she was up to. She looked like if he said “boo” she’d jump out of her skin. With pursed lips, he yanked open the door. Tipplemire stood huddled halfway down the stairs, trying to stay out of the drizzle. Blake called to him. When the sergeant arrived at the door, Blake invited him in. Tipplemire gave him a look of cautious curiosity.

  “The lady is worried you’ll get cold,” Blake told him.

  Tipplemire looked to Jessie and whipped off his cap.

  “Here, Sergeant.” She handed him Blake’s greatcoat. “If you have to stay out in this weather all night, the least the Army could do would be to clothe you properly. I hope this helps.”

  Tipplemire looked to Blake, who merely shrugged. To Jessie, the sergeant bobbed his head. “Why, thank you, ma’am. Thank you.” He took the coat and backed out of the room. The look on his face said he thought at least one person in the room was a wee bit touched in the head.

  At the last moment, Blake tossed him his hat. “The brim will keep the rain off better than your cap.”

  Tipplemire thanked him, then left.

  “There.” Blake closed the door behind the sergeant and turned to face Jessie. “Are you satisfied now?”

  Jessie swallowed. “Yes.” She was acting like an idiot, she knew.

  “You’re nervous. Why?”

  Jessie licked her lips. What could she tell him that wouldn’t be a lie? She knew she couldn’t out and out lie to him. So she decided on the truth. “I’m scared, Blake.”

  He crossed the room to her and touched her cheek gently. “Of what?”

  “Of what’s going to happen. I’m scared for Pace, for the Apaches.” For you, for whatever might happen to you if you get involved. The one question that had nagged at her since she’d first looked up from her seat on the train and saw him standing there, the question he’d never really answered, came back to haunt her. “Blake, why are you here?”

  Blake stepped back abruptly, his expression turning blank. “I beg your pardon. I was under the mistaken impression you’d invited me in.”

  “Oh, don’t be an ass.” God, she couldn’t believe she said that. Calling someone names was so unlike her! Yet another indication of how she changed when she was around Blake. “I mean why are you in San Antonio. You’ve never said.”

  “I’m under orders, Jessie.” Two sets, actually. One he would disregard, or use in his own way. The other he intended to follow to the letter. It would gain him what he’d wanted all his life, and cost him the one thing that had come to matter. It would cost him Jessie. “Orders I’m not allowed to discuss.”

  “Just tell me,” Jessie said grasping his arm. “Do your orders have anything to do with Pace?”

  He eyed her warily “Why do you ask that?”

  “Because there’s something you’re not telling me. I’ve seen it in your eyes since we first met, and it scares me.”

  “If I’m not mistaken, there’s something you’re not telling me, too. But if it will put your mind at rest, I swear to you, the name Pace Colton appears nowhere on my orders.” It was the literal truth, but it was still a lie. Blake closed his eyes. “I promise.”

  Jessie couldn’t help but believe him. Maybe becau
se she wanted to so badly. She sagged with relief. If everything went according to plan, she and the rest of her family would be leaving San Antonio tomorrow night. When Blake found out, when he learned of her deception, he would despise her.

  “You have the saddest look on your face,” he said softly. It was almost as if she were…telling him good-bye. Panic raced through him. He wasn’t ready to lose her yet. He wanted to feel those slender arms around him one more time, wanted to taste her sweet, sweet lips. He wanted her to care even half as much about him as she did her family. God, how he wanted it. He was so damn tired of being on the outside, alone.

  Yet if he was successful tomorrow, there was still a good chance he would lose everything. What little family he had; his ranch; his career. Jessie. He could lose it all and end up alone for the rest of his life. If he didn’t end up dead.

  He wanted to belong to someone, to her, even if just for one night. And he wanted her to belong to him and no one else. Forever.

  Yet it was impossible. When he did what he’d come here to do, she would scorn him—if he lived to walk away. And even if she never learned of his part in what had already been set in motion by others, he would know. Once the deed was done, he would never be able to let himself go near her.

  The plans already in motion—the rumors of planned murder and betrayal that were in fact truth—were not of his making. Yet tension around the fort was strong enough to taste. All his life he’d waited and worked and planned. When the situation exploded, Blake would be there to take advantage of it. He’d be damned if he’d let anyone else get to Geronimo before him.

  In a day, two at the most, he would make his move. He would give Jessie back her brother, then he would exact his revenge on the one who’d robbed him of the family he should have had, the mother he’d never known, the father who had rejected him. Then it would be done. And Jessie would be lost to him.

  But he had tonight. Selfish as it was, he would take whatever she would give him, give whatever he could. For tonight.

  “You don’t look very happy yourself,” Jessie told him. “Oh, Blake, I’m scared. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Hush.” He took her in his arms and she seemed to flow against his chest. Her soft curves pressed so trustingly against him started an ache deep behind his breastbone. “I don’t know, Jessie. But everything will be all right. You’ll see.”

  “How can anything be right again?” Jessie trembled in his arms. The yearning inside her for this man had her throwing caution to the wind. Right then she didn’t care about control, about how much she’d changed, about losing herself to the feelings Blake generated. She only cared that he not leave her. “We’ll probably be leaving soon, then you’ll go on with your business, whatever that is, and…”

  “And?”

  “And I don’t think I’ll ever see you again.”

  Blake stilled. He pushed her back far enough to look into her eyes. “And that matters to you?”

  She met his gaze without a flinch. “More than I can say.”

  His lips formed her name as he lowered his mouth to hers. She tasted of sweet wine and sweeter woman. She smelled of cool rain and summer roses. Suddenly he was starving, and he feasted. She met his hunger and matched it, drawing him into her warmth, into her arms, where he belonged. Never had he felt such a sense of belonging.

  Yet it was false. He and Jessie didn’t belong together, didn’t belong to each other. He slid his hands to her waist, then up her ribs until he was almost touching the underside of her breasts. His hands ached to touch them. But at the last second when he would have finally felt their weight against his palms, common sense prevailed. He pushed her away.

  “Blake?”

  God, she was dangerous, with her lips wet and swollen from the force of his kiss, her eyes big and dark and bewildered. “Tell me to go, Jessie. Send me away.”

  She swallowed. “Do you want to go?”

  Blake tried to say yes, but he couldn’t get the lie to leave his lips. He forced his hands from her softness until they formed tight fists at his sides.

  “You don’t want me?” she asked softly.

  Pain lashed through him. “Jessie, don’t do this.”

  “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want me.”

  Fire lit her eyes and covered the hurt so plainly visible only a moment ago. The same fire stained her cheeks and roughed her breathing. God, she was beautiful.

  “Why don’t you want me?”

  “Jessie…”

  “Are my eyes the wrong color?” she demanded. “Or my hair? Maybe you prefer redheads or brunettes.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Am I too short? Too skinny? Too young? Maybe my hips are too narrow or my breasts too small. I’ve heard men like women with big breasts.”

  Blake squeezed his eyes shut and fought for control. “There’s nothing wrong with your breasts.”

  “Then what is it? Why don’t you want me?” she demanded.

  “I never said I didn’t want you, dammit. I want you so much I ache with it. I’ve ached with it since the first time I saw you. I’m trying to protect you, Jessie. You don’t know what you’re asking if you expect me to stay. I’ll hurt you. That’s the last thing in the world I want.”

  She cupped his cheek in her small, soft palm and sent fire racing to his gut. “You’ll destroy me if you leave. I love you, Blake.”

  “You don’t.”

  “I do.” Jessie had no idea where the boldness came from. She only knew she couldn’t let him leave. She would die if he left. She would shrivel up into a hard cold knot and die. “You know as well as I do that this might be our last night together. Stay with me.”

  “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

  “Then show me.” She took his hand and pulled him toward the door to her bedroom. “Teach me. Love me.”

  As if he had no will of his own, Blake followed her. Except in doing so, he ended up right where he most wanted to be—in her bedroom.

  He should have more sense. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t make love to her, knowing they could never be together again. She was so damned innocent she didn’t know what she was asking. If he showed her, gave her a taste of what he wanted, she would probably run screaming into the night.

  So be it. If he had to scare her to get her to think straight, he would do it.

  It was a good plan.

  It was damn selfish. For in the process, he was going to take more from her than she would understand.

  Not all, though. He wouldn’t take it all.

  Then she closed the door behind them and shut out the light. Her slender arms crept around his neck and pulled him close.

  Who the hell did he think he was kidding? She was scaring the daylights out of him. He’d never felt his heart pound so hard from nothing more than a woman’s touch. He’d never been so desperate for the taste of her, the feel of her.

  “Jessie.”

  “I’m here, Blake. Show me what to do. Tell me what you want.”

  He kissed her hard and fast. “I want things you can’t begin to understand. I want to look at you and touch you and taste you. All over. Every inch of you.”

  Jessie felt her knees turn to jelly. “Yes,” she whispered.

  Blake swore beneath his breath. She wasn’t supposed to say yes. She was supposed to be repulsed and push him away. He kissed her again, harder, deeper. “Yes?” he asked, his voice husky with need. “Does that mean you won’t mind if I touch you like this?” He cupped his hand around her breast.

  Jessie stiffened. Exquisite. His touch was exquisite. It filled her with fire and built the need in her to staggering proportions. She arched into his hand.

  Blake was right. She didn’t understand. Not really. She only wanted. Needed. Hungered. For him. All of him. The fire in her made her shameless as she arched into his hand again.

  Then his mouth was on hers, and he was groaning, and so was she, and she revelled in it.

  Blake nearly
drowned in her response. Never had a woman burst into flames at his touch the way Jessie did. God help him, he wasn’t going to be able to leave her until it was way too late. Unless she sent him away. He had one more chance.

  He eased his lips from the softness of hers, and it nearly crippled him then and there. “Jessie, tell me to stop before it’s too late.”

  She tightened her arms around his neck. “It’s already too late. It was too late the first time you put your arm around me when you kept me from going to Pace in Bowie that day. I remember thinking someone had wrapped a band of steel around me.” She ran both hands up and down his arms.

  Even through his heavy uniform blouse he felt the heat of her touch.

  “Your arms are so strong, just like steel.”

  Blake groaned. He was supposed to resist her? In God’s name, how? She was making his arms feel weak, not strong.

  One more time. He had to try one more time.

  “Jessie, do you know what’s going to happen between us if you don’t tell me to leave?”

  “I hope so. Oh, I do hope so.”

  Her voice in the dark tore holes in his willpower. He pushed her away until their bodies no longer touched. Until he felt chilled to the bone by the loss of her heat.

  “If I stay, I’m going to touch you, everywhere. Your skin. All of it. And you’ll touch mine.”

  “Yes.”

  “Jessie,” he said fiercely. He took her hand in his and lowered it to cover his aching hardness. “I’m going to put this part of me—”

  If he’d expected her to be horrified, to shy away, he was wrong. She flexed her fingers against him and wrung another groan, this one from the depths of his starving soul.

  He ran a hand down her stomach. Through the layers of her skirt and petticoats, he cupped the center of her. “I’m going to put it here. Do you understand what—”

  “Do you promise?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Blake was lost. With a low growl, he surrendered. After turning the key in the lock behind him, he crossed to the other door and did the same, then swept her up in his arms. In three steps that even darkness couldn’t falter, he lowered them both onto the bed. “This isn’t right, Jessie. I’ll probably leave tomorrow.”