Hindsight

by Jody Klaire

  “Buy me out. I’m done with school.” Her tone sharp, curt. Not the little girl too scared to meet his eyes. She was gone.

  “You don’t make those—”

  “Buy me out or I leave.”

  Huber stopped. His silence enough to show he’d taken in the shift in her demeanor. “They found her.”

  A statement more than a question. “You didn’t protect her. The only person who had the guts to is in the ground.”

  “She wasn’t mine to protect, girl.” Still trying to intimidate.

  “No, you sold her.” Fist clenched, anger, icy cold anger.

  “Megan sold her. I’d have found far more useful things for her to do.” He slammed something. For the first time, she didn’t jump. She was done being scared. “I have made my feelings known.”

  “Buy me out, Huber.”

  He sucked in a breath. “Watch your manners.”

  “Do it.” Sharper, clipped. Shoulders back, spine straight.

  No more victim.

  “Done.”

  The car was an average one. It hadn’t been fast enough to catch up. She’d make sure her cars, her transport were the best from now on.

  “Good. They’ll be sending you my expulsion.” She cut the call. She pulled the collar up and dialed the receiver.

  She’d never settle for second best again.

  Renee clung to me, her tears like mine. I didn’t know how Frei had found that strength. I didn’t know how she’d left the pain behind.

  “She’s so strong,” Renee whispered.

  I nodded, feeling a surge of adrenaline hit me. I let go of Renee and spotted two huge rocks on the side. She didn’t ask what I was doing as I guess she knew. I hoisted them so one leaned against the other in my best attempt at a cross. Renee walked over with some flowers she’d rustled up from around.

  “I don’t know what he did to her,” Renee said, wincing. “But the pain was enough to make me cry by itself.”

  I had a good idea. “It just makes it all that more important that we get to her.”

  Renee met my eyes. “And Jessie.”

  I nodded as we left Suz to rest. She weren’t around so I knew she’d gone where she needed to be. She was safe where she was now.

  “At least I get the jacket now,” I whispered. She wore it like armor. She wore her haircut like armor.

  “Is it me or do the more you learn about her, the more you love her?” Renee said between sniffles.

  I nodded.

  Renee started the car and glanced a smile at Aunt Bess and the kittens. Aunt Bess seemed to get what had happened and offered a nod, giving us our space.

  “I want her back, Lorelei. I am not letting some creep take her away.”

  “So let’s go rustle up Huber and get her.” I offered a smile, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I miss her too.”

  Chapter 54

  JESSIE GLANCED AT the map. She was tired and her eyes were stinging. Miss Locks hadn’t woken up since she’d called Aeron’s mom. The light on the dash kept flashing at her and it was dark now. She didn’t have money or know how to fill the tank.

  She fought back the tears. She had to think of something. She pressed the phone button again and a list of names popped up. She didn’t really know who they were. She did see one name: Renee Black. She could be Professor Worthington. She said her real name was Renee. She pressed the phone button, hoping it was.

  Ringing sounds filled the car.

  “Urs, tell me you’re alright.” It was definitely Renee’s voice.

  Jessie shuddered out her relief. “It’s Jessie.”

  “Jessie, is she with you?” Renee had a different accent from the one she’d had in the academy. It was . . . warmer?

  “She fell asleep. She’s breathing but she won’t wake up.” Jessie fought back the tears again. “I don’t know how to fill the tank.”

  “Hey, Jessie.” Aeron’s voice. Jessie felt more relief pulse over her. Aeron was the best. “You’re gonna run out of gas, right?”

  Jessie bit her lip. “It’s flashing.”

  “Okay, kiddo, can you see somewhere on her map that shows a river.”

  Renee sighed. “Aeron—”

  “Quit piping up,” Aeron shot back.

  Jessie smiled. They’d bickered a lot back in Caprock too. It gave her a boost of warmth.

  “Jessie, can you see anything?” Aeron asked.

  She glanced at the map. It was hard driving and reading at the same time. “There’s a river . . . I can’t see what it’s called. The letters are too small.”

  “Don’t you worry ’bout that. I want you to find someplace sheltered, someplace safe next to that river and keep her warm.” Aeron always knew what to do. “When you get there. I want you to think of the happiest memory you got, the most love you ever felt and hold onto it.”

  “I can do that.” She knew exactly what memory.

  “Then call my Nan. She’ll keep you safe till we get to you.” Aeron’s voice was so soft and deep and warm that Jessie felt much better. She always made her feel better.

  “She calls me Mousey.”

  Aeron chuckled. “Yeah, Nan kinda likes doin’ that. You know what she calls me?”

  “Shorty,” Jessie said with a chuckle.

  “Uh huh.”

  “At least you’re not Blondie,” Renee muttered. “It makes me sound like I should either be a dog, a housewife in a comic . . . or a nude model.”

  Jessie snorted her laughter.

  “Better than Icy.”

  Jessie turned at the sound of Miss Lock’s groggy tone.

  “Frankenfrei, good to hear you.” Aeron sounded like she wanted to send a hug down the line. Jessie chuckled at the name. “Jessie, you’re gonna want to park the car away from where you’re hiding.”

  “Stay with her, we’re coming, Urs, we’re coming.” Renee sounded close to tears. “Don’t quit on me.”

  “Now you sound like me.” Miss Locks could only manage to speak a bit. She closed her eyes but smiled.

  Jessie took the next turn and headed toward the river. She trusted Aeron. She didn’t understand how a happy memory could help but she’d try. She glanced at Miss Locks. It was worth it.

  Park the car somewhere else.

  Jessie swallowed.

  She didn’t really know how to stop.

  Chapter 55

  RENEE TRIED TO stop glancing at Aeron. She’d passed out not long after Jessie had called. The sun had set and the lights of the gated community twinkled at her in the distance. Huber would be there, at least she hoped he would be. She chewed on her lip, trying not to let the tears flow over. Aunt Bess was curled up with the kittens and now that she had no one to distract her, worries rushed to the surface.

  She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Frei. She didn’t know how she’d cope if they didn’t find her. They’d been through so much but one memory kept rolling through her head.

  Renee could hear the sound of her straining heart. The smell of rotting, the scurry of something in the darkness. She’d tried to call for help, she thought she’d gotten through to Frei but she wasn’t sure anymore. She wasn’t sure what was real. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.

  She’d stopped feeling her body a while ago. She wasn’t sure if it was the amount of damage to it or the cold. Wherever Yannick was holding her, it was bitter.

  “Where is she?”

  Yannick’s cruel laughter rang out. Renee slammed shut her eyes, unable to cry, unable to whimper.

  “Tell me.”

  Yannick howled with such force that Renee snapped her eyes open. It sounded like he had been hurt. Had one of the others gotten out? She urged them to run for it, prayed they’d get to safety. Even if they took him out, she couldn’t escape—not with all the chains, the wounds, the way her body felt detached from her.

  “In here?”

  Yannick screamed in agony. Renee frowned. She could swear it was Frei’s voice. She squashed down the hope. How could it be? Sh
e’d driven her away. Why would she come looking for her?

  The door slammed open. Light flooded down the stairs. Renee blinked, her watering eyes unable to stand the glare. She’d taken too many blows to the skull, she knew that. She hadn’t been able to see anything other than blurred shapes. It didn’t matter, it was a small mercy.

  She took a long breath. He’d take out his anger on her. Whatever had irked him, he’d blame her. She’d tried reaching him, tried reasoning, tried everything.

  Nothing. No remorse, not a care.

  “Renee?”

  Warm hands touched her brow. She was sure it was Frei but she didn’t dare trust the sound.

  “Renee, can you hear me?”

  She reached up and felt over the contours of Frei’s face. She was almost blind but she felt the prickly shafts of hair, the soft skin, the cross on a string. Her heart released a wave of relief that blurted out of her lips. “Need . . . help . . . them.”

  Frei shouted orders. Boots trampled down the steps. Voices, light, distorted noise. She kept her hands on Frei’s warm skin as she was hoisted up.

  “I’ve got you. Don’t give up on me, you hear me?” Frei held on tight to her, carried her. More noise. Colored lights.

  “Him?” She clung on, too exhausted to cry.

  “You made sure we caught him. We got him.” Frei’s tone was filled with concern, filled with a friendship Renee had thought lost.

  “Sorry,” was all she could manage as she was placed on something. People, medics worked on her but all she could make out was shapes. Frei held onto her hand, not letting go, her silent strength the only thing holding Renee together.

  “Me too.” Frei stayed close, her thumb stroking over Renee’s arm as the crew attached wires, drips, monitors, a mask. They both knew she was in trouble but it didn’t matter.

  Frei had come for her.

  She still cared.

  Renee wiped the tears away, suppressing her sniffle. Frei hadn’t left her side. Painful rehab had brought her to physical half-fitness but mentally, she’d been devastated. Months of therapy didn’t change much. She’d agreed it was right to let Abby go then. She was blind at night, she had only just mastered walking again and she couldn’t expect Abby to take care of her. Abby had a good chance at promotion to the head of department or at least had done when Renee left. It was better that way but she hadn’t expected Abby to move on within months. All she’d been worth was a few months of waiting before Abby married.

  “You need to come down off there, Renee.” Frei was being gentle, considering.

  So she was drunk, it was warm and she didn’t need her clothes. Nope. She just needed to prove to herself she could do the assault course. “Busy.”

  “I can see but you’ll hurt yourself.” Frei stared up at her as she hung from the monkey bars. She could pull herself about without a problem, walking was the hard bit.

  “Fine.”

  “Not even close.” Frei scowled up at her. Renee turned so she couldn’t see. No peripheral vision. No more flying. No more being a soldier. No more Abby. She was probably going to get retired anyway.

  “You want me to carry you?” Frei muttered.

  Renee burst into laughter, then tears, then forgot she needed to hold on not to fall. Frei caught her before she clattered to the ground.

  “She married a guy.”

  “Yes.” Frei hoisted her up, careful and considerate in the way she carried her, turning her inwards to stop anyone from seeing. Wasn’t like she was worth looking at anymore so she didn’t know why.

  “She didn’t even wait.”

  Frei met her eyes. “No.”

  “While I was missing.”

  Frei nodded. Renee slumped into her shoulder. Alcohol was enough to numb, but her still healing body screamed from trying to do too much. She didn’t care.

  “On my birthday, Urs.” So much for caring. Okay, so Abby didn’t know when her real birthday was but still. It sucked.

  “Want me to shoot her?” Frei smiled as she reached a door. Renee managed to make out it was Frei’s place.

  “No.” Renee burst into tears again and flopped into Frei’s shoulder. She passed out just as Frei placed her on the sofa.

  Renee glanced at Aeron. If it hadn’t been for Frei nursing her, caring about her, covering every stupid thing she’d done in recovery, she wouldn’t have met Aeron. Frei didn’t say much. She didn’t do long conversations or heart to hearts but she could load a word with enough emotion to make more impact. She didn’t know how Frei had gone from the thief to a general but she did it with such ease. The team gelled under her, worked seamlessly, oozed a confidence that had been missing. Not one of them had objected when Frei reinstated Renee. Not one of them had argued. They must have had reservations. They must have understood but they trusted Frei’s judgment. Renee had wanted to prove Frei right, prove she could still operate.

  Serenity was a place that made the hairs on her arms prickle. Lilia had told them that the POI, Aeron Lorelei, could be guilty of manslaughter. The name hadn’t been lost on Renee. Lilia always made the team refer to her by her first name but Renee had worked under her long enough to know she was Lorelei too. It was personal.

  Renee had spent enough time in therapy and then studying it to pass as a psychiatrist. That part was easy. She’d lived and breathed undercover for years but she’d never been more terrified. The guards made her nauseous with their opinions, their treatment; inmates clanged the heavy metal doors; rain crashed against the barred windows. She had to do this. She just had to get the POI onside, make sure she was released and she could walk away. Easy.

  She’d watched on from the balcony as two inmates brawled in the cafeteria. The guards tried to get there but they were too relaxed about everything. The sight of the blood had turned her stomach more than it should have, brought flashes crashing into her mind of Yannick. She’d heard one of the guards blame the POI. One of the fighters had been her cellmate after all.

  Fear had pulsed at her. She’d sat in the office, gripping the desk, ready to leave, to retire. The door opened and all six foot five of stunning beauty sauntered into her life. A glance had been enough to lose her heart. She’d riveted her eyes to her notes, not understanding and not liking the sudden revival of her crushed senses.

  It hurt to feel.

  “Come in, take a seat.”

  Lorelei had watched her. Eyes like Lilia’s but so different. Like Lilia in looks, but she had a whole other energy about her. Young, gorgeous, and no fool.

  “Aeron Lorelei. Unusual name.” Yes, unusual. Lilia was closely related to her at the least. She’d not asked questions and Lilia hadn’t provided any information. Frei would know though.

  “You were Lori’s cellmate?” Her voice sounded unsure in her ears. Her hands trembled. She didn’t know how to do this. She’d never felt so confused. She wasn’t a rookie.

  Lorelei didn’t say a word.

  “It says on your file that you believe you can see the future.” She sounded harsh, arrogant. She couldn’t tell her that she worked for Lilia, that she was there to get her out. She just needed to focus on her job.

  Lorelei sighed. A sigh that spoke volumes. A tired, hurt one. Renee knew it well.

  “You saw Lori attack Sheila?”

  “In what context?” Lorelei folded her arms. Her movement enough that Renee could see it in her still blurred peripheral vision.

  Renee looked up. Lorelei’s eyes were full of attitude, of anger. She didn’t blame her but something about them sparked challenge and ignited her own anger. “Is there more than one?”

  Before she’d got to the institution she had been numb. Now her emotions were rumbling faster than she could slam them down.

  “You start by saying I see the future, then asked if I saw Sheila and Lori. Therefore, it ain’t too obvious to assume that you’re referring to my foresight other than the actual events.”

  Renee raised her eyebrows. She’d been trying to get her to talk. Who did she
think she was, assuming anything about her? Who was Lorelei to get snappy with her?

  “Did you see it . . . beforehand?” She tried a gentle approach and shoved her temper back down.

  “Yes.” Attitude. Unbridled, bare-faced attitude. Renee put her hands together on the desk, attempting not to give into the baiting. “You saw Lori attack Sheila and you didn’t stop her?”

  Lorelei’s eyes glinted with pain. “Correct.”

  She knew that look. Oh, how she understood it. Her heart thumped for the woman, her temper bubbled, she pinged to and fro between the emotions until all she could manage was, “Why?”

  Lorelei looked past her, stared out of the window. So much flickered on behind her eyes. “Freedom.”

  She felt the urge to know her, to understand her and swallowed it back. Stick to the job. “Yours?”

  Lorelei laughed.

  Renee’s mood flicked at the sound. Yannick filled her mind. What he’d done flooded back. “Did you convince her it was a good idea? Is that the way you work? Is that how you and your friends entertain themselves?”

  She blinked back the memories. What was she saying?

  Lorelei raised an eyebrow. “Nice of you to think so highly of me.”

  “I haven’t come to any opinion of you yet.” The session was fast getting out of her control. She didn’t understand how. This woman, this girl, was hurt that was all. She needed to calm down, not bait her.

  “Haven’t you? You sat for twenty minutes reading the notes of a man who should have been retired forty years ago. You borrow his opinion and he didn’t know me.”

  So she could sense things like Lilia? Or was she just guessing? So far she’d been observant, clear but abrasive. Renee smiled, the woman befuddled her that was for certain.

  Lorelei smiled back, her eyes twinkling with that challenge, with a spirit.

  “So who are you?” Maybe she would lower the shield if Renee got her talking about how she felt about who she—