Sea Monsters and Other Delicacies

by David Sinden

  Captain Crab knocked the telephone from Dr. Fielding’s hand and kicked it into the lagoon. “Oops,” he said.

  “Captain! What are you doing?”

  “I wouldn’t worry about poachers,” the Captain replied. He stared at Dr. Fielding. “Now I’d like that venom extractor, if I may.”

  Dr. Fielding glanced at the venom extractor on the back seat of the Jeep. “What on earth for?”

  Captain Crab grinned. “Oh, Dr. Fielding, I’ve wanted it all along. Why do you think I went to all the trouble of bringing you a sea monster? I needed its venom.”

  Dr. Fielding grabbed the venom extractor and held it behind her back.

  “You see, I knew that the venom extractor worked,” the Captain said stepping closer.

  “Stay away from me.”

  “Professor Farraway wasn’t killed by a sea monster. He returned from his expedition safe and sound.”

  “What are you talking about?” Dr. Fielding said. “I’d like you to leave now.”

  Captain Crab laughed.

  Dr. Fielding jumped into the Jeep clutching the venom extractor. She fumbled with her keys, trying to start the engine.

  “In a hurry, are you, Dr. Fielding?” Captain Crab asked. The engine started. Captain Crab slid a wrench from his sleeve and struck Dr. Fielding on the head.

  She slumped in her seat. He dragged her out and carried her to his boat, tying her hands and feet. Then he got into the Jeep and picked up the venom extractor. He unscrewed the flask and peered at the venom inside. He smiled.

  “And now to get dessert,” he said.

  Chapter 16

  BACK AT FARRAWAY HALL, ULF AND ORSON WERE in the feed store. Ulf was sitting on a bale of hay, wrapped in a blanket, warming himself up.

  Tiana the fairy flew in through the doors. “You’re wet!” she said.

  “Ulf saved the sea monster,” Orson told her. The giant was hanging his wet boots up by their laces. Beside them his socks were dripping.

  Tiana perched on a barrel. “You went in the water with the sea monster, Ulf? You could have been killed!”

  “The venom extractor works,” Ulf told her.

  “You’re crazy, Ulf.”

  “He’s a werewolf,” Orson said. “He’s brave.” The giant was drying his bald head with a patchwork towel stitched together from old sacks.

  Ulf was rubbing the hair on his arms. He could feel it growing longer. In just a few hours the full moon would rise and he would change from boy to wolf.

  His ears twitched.

  He heard the sound of the Jeep’s engine pulling into the yard, and looked out through the large wooden doors. Captain Crab was sitting in the driver’s seat.

  “I forgot my things,” the Captain called, stepping out of the Jeep.

  “Where’s Dr. Fielding?” Ulf asked.

  “She’s just making the sea monster comfortable.”

  Captain Crab stepped into the feed store. “How are you feeling, Mr. Orson? Nice and warm yet?”

  “I’m fine, thanks,” Orson said.

  From his back pocket, Captain Crab took out a tin canteen. “Care for a drop of my special?” he asked. “It’ll warm you up.”

  “Don’t mind if I do, Captain. Thank you.”

  Captain Crab turned to Ulf. “Would you mind doing me a favor?” he asked. He handed Ulf a key. “Would you get my sea chest for me? I left it up in my room.”

  Ulf took the key.

  “It won’t take you long,” the Captain said. “The fairy can go with you.”

  “Me?” Tiana asked. “But it’s dusty up—”

  “Come on, Tiana,” Ulf said, and he headed out into the yard.

  Captain Crab watched as Ulf and Tiana went in through the side door of Farraway Hall. “He’s very helpful, that werewolf boy. And brave, too.”

  The Captain handed the canteen to Orson. “Here you are,” he said.

  Orson held the canteen in his fingers.

  “It’s a nice big one, isn’t it?”

  “It’s all right, you can drink it all.”

  Orson took a big swig, draining the tin canteen. “My, that’s—” Orson’s lips froze. His skin turned icy blue.

  Captain Crab gave him a gentle poke with his hook and Orson toppled back as stiff as a board onto the mound of grain.

  “Have an ice sleep, Mr. Orson,” the Captain said, grinning. He fetched the towrope from the Jeep and tied it around the giant’s ankles.

  Chapter 17

  ULF CLIMBED THE STAIRS TO THE TOP FLOOR OF the house and walked along the gloomy corridor.

  Tiana flew beside him. “I don’t know why he couldn’t get it himself,” she said.

  Ulf stopped at the door to Captain Crab’s room and turned the key in the lock. He stepped inside, put the key in his pocket and started looking for the Captain’s chest.

  Tiana flew in after him and landed on a table with a puff of dust. She sneezed and shook her wings. “How could he sleep in here? It’s filthy,” she said.

  The Captain’s hammock was lying in a heap on the floor. His lantern and jam jar were standing in the corner by the door.

  Tiana looked for the Captain’s chest. “Which one is his?” she asked. The room was full of chests. There were lots of them, and boxes and crates, and furniture covered in white sheets.

  “I think his sea chest was brown,” Ulf said.

  “They’re all brown,” Tiana replied.

  Ulf stepped to a chest by the wall and lifted its heavy wooden lid.

  He gasped. Inside were two trolls’ heads. Their skin was green and leathery and their snouts were shrivelled.

  “Uuurrgghh!” Tiana cried, flying above them.

  Ulf opened another chest. Inside he saw a vampire owl. Its feathers were dusty and it was stuffed with straw. He opened another and found the tail of a mermaid, chopped off and curling at its end. He pulled the corner of a white sheet. Underneath was a dead phoenix in a glass dome. Its wings were spread and held up with wire. Then he pulled the sheet from a glass cabinet.

  Tiana screamed. Inside the cabinet were row upon row of fairies, pinned flat against a black velvet board. Their wings were dry and cracked. Tiana flew to Ulf’s shoulder, shaking. “They’re all dead, Ulf. This room’s full of dead beasts!”

  Ulf pulled open chest after chest, then box after box. He found the blubbery head of a wartolump, a pickled impossipus in a glass tank, and a stuffed gorgon with its feet nailed to a plank of wood. Its eyes stared blankly at him.

  “Who could have done this?” Tiana said. “It’s so cruel!”

  She covered her eyes with her hands.

  Under another sheet Ulf saw a pair of brown leather shoes. He lifted the sheet up and saw two trouser legs and then a bony hand on the arm of a chair. It was holding a tea cup. Ulf whipped the sheet off and froze. “Tiana, I think I know why Professor Farraway’s ghost brought us here,” he said, trembling.

  Beneath the sheet, sitting in an armchair, was a human skeleton dressed in a tweed suit.

  Tiana peered between her fingers. “Professor Farraway!”

  Ulf stared at the skeleton in the chair. It was Professor Farraway’s body. His bones were shiny and polished.

  “But the Professor died on an expedition out at sea. He was killed by a sea monster,” Tiana said.

  Just then, Ulf heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

  “When I was a boy, my father said to me, ‘Yo ho ho, it’s a sailor’s life for thee.’”

  Captain Crab appeared at the doorway. “Well, well, so you found him then,” he said, looking at the skeleton. The Captain glanced around the room at the open boxes and leaned down, stroking one of the trolls’ heads. He looked at Ulf. “Now it’s your turn to die, werewolf!”

  Captain Crab picked up his hammock and threw it over Ulf. Ulf tried to claw his way out but the Captain held him down.

  Ulf scratched at the Captain’s face, and the Captain’s skin tore off in shreds. It was made of rubber.

  Tiana hurled herself
at the Captain, tugging at his eyebrows and his nose. They came off in her hands. Underneath was a face that was twisted with hatred like a rotten apple core.

  “Marackai!” Ulf said, staring.

  “Baron Marackai to you, werewolf.”

  “You’re not a captain at all!” Tiana said. She bit Marackai’s ear.

  Baron Marackai laughed. “Didn’t hurt, fairy!” He pulled his ear off, along with what was left of his rubber mask. Then he lunged at Tiana with his hook. It missed and dug into a table. The Baron pulled his arm back and his hook came off. Underneath was a hand with its little finger missing.

  As Ulf struggled in the net, the Baron grabbed his jam jar, unscrewed the lid and slammed it over Tiana, trapping her inside.

  Ulf kicked Baron Marackai’s ankle.

  “Ouch!” the Baron said. He seized hold of Ulf with both hands, carrying him struggling in the net. “Couldn’t you find my sea chest?” he asked. “Here it is. It’s the empty one. I was saving it for you!”

  He kicked open the lid of a wooden chest and bundled Ulf inside.

  “Help!” Ulf shouted, kicking and struggling.

  “Orson! Help!”

  “The giant’s asleep,” Baron Marackai said. He stamped his boot onto Ulf’s stomach, pinning him inside the sea chest. “And he won’t wake up in a hurry.”

  The Baron laughed. “Haha hahaa haaaahaah! I gave him a drop of sea monster venom. Just like I gave my father.” He glanced at Professor Farraway’s skeleton in the chair. “My father wasn’t killed by a sea monster. He returned home from his expedition with a flask full of sea monster venom. Unfortunately for him though, he discovered my little collection here and threatened to throw me out of the house, so I slipped the venom into his tea.”

  “You murdered him!”

  “Not officially. Not according to the newspapers!” Baron Marackai laughed. “I threw his things in the sea and set his boat adrift so it looked like he’d had a little accident. I think he looks rather good among my trophies, though, don’t you? You’ll look good, too—when you’re stuffed!”

  “You’ll never get away with it!” Ulf shouted. “Dr. Fielding—”

  “I’m afraid she won’t hear you, werewolf. She’s a little tied up at the moment.”

  Baron Marackai grinned. “I’m taking back what’s mine!” he said. “This is my house and my land, and every beast in your precious beast park will soon be dead! The RSPCB is doomed!”

  The Baron lifted his boot. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Beast Feast to attend.”

  He slammed the lid of the chest shut.

  Inside, everything went dark. Ulf was trapped. “Let me out!” he shouted, pushing against the lid.

  The Baron fastened the padlock on the chest.

  “Help!”

  Ulf heard the Baron heading out of the room. “When I was a boy, my father said to me, ‘Yo, ho, ugh—’ as he drank his cup of tea.”

  Ulf banged against the lid of the chest. He could hear the sound of the Jeep starting up and driving out through the yard. “Help!” he called. “Let me out!”

  Chapter 18

  IT WAS PITCH DARK INSIDE THE CHEST.

  “Help!” Ulf shouted.

  He was tangled in the netting, struggling to free himself. The net cut into his skin as he shook from side to side and kicked against the lid of the chest.

  “Help! Help me, Tiana!”

  There was no answer. He tried to bash the lid with his fist, but the net was wrapped tightly around him. He could hardly move.

  “Someone help me!” he called.

  He was stuck. He lay in the dark and listened. The only sound he could hear was his own breath.

  “Help me!” he called.

  As time passed, he could feel himself getting hot and dizzy. It was airless inside the chest. He was thinking about Orson and Dr. Fielding, and what awful things might be happening to them. He had to stop the Baron.

  Suddenly, from out in the room he heard an almighty crash and the sound of breaking glass. Someone was clambering over the crates and furniture.

  “Orson? Dr. Fielding? Is that you?” Ulf called.

  He heard the padlock rattling on the side of the chest. Then he heard the sound of wood splintering as the padlock broke free.

  The lid flew open.

  “Druce!” Ulf said. It was Druce the gargoyle!

  “Drucey to the rescue!” the gargoyle gurgled. He flicked out his long yellow tongue and licked Ulf’s face.

  Ulf struggled to his feet and tore off the net. “Thank you, Druce,” he said.

  Druce leaped onto a table and pointed to Professor Farraway’s skeleton. “Professor?” he gurgled. He leaned forward and prodded the skeleton. “Professor dead.”

  Ulf could hear a rattling sound, and saw the jam jar rolling on the floor. Tiana was inside, beating her hands against the glass. Ulf picked the jar up and unscrewed the lid.

  Tiana flew out in a burst of sparkles. Her face was pale and she was shaking. She took a deep breath then scrunched up her tiny fist. “I hate Baron Marackai!” she said.

  Ulf ran to the broken window and looked out. In the distance, he could see the Baron’s boat motoring out of the seawater lagoon. The boat was dragging something behind it in the water. “The sea monster! He’s got the sea monster!”

  Tiana flew out of the window and hovered high in the air. “And Orson!” she called. “He’s got Orson too!”

  Ulf could just make out the giant shape of Orson’s body on the deck of the boat. “Meet me in the yard, Tiana!”

  Ulf clambered over the boxes. “Look after this place, Druce,” he said, taking the key from his pocket and placing it on the table beside the gargoyle. “You’re in charge now.”

  Druce was stroking Professor Farraway’s bony hand. “I’m in charge, Professor. Drucey in charge.”

  Ulf ran from the room, down into the yard, and Tiana flew to meet him as he sped off on his ATV. She perched on the handlebars, clinging to the speedometer. “Hurry, Ulf!” she said.

  “Open!” Ulf called. He raced through the gate and into the beast park. The needle on the speedometer pointed to fifty miles an hour. He skidded past Troll Crag and through the marsh, heading for the lagoon. He roared along the shore to the dock and slammed on his brakes.

  “Dr. Fielding,” he called, looking around. Dr. Fielding’s glasses lay broken on the ground.

  “He’s taken her too!” Tiana said.

  “We’ve got to catch him,” Ulf replied. He jumped off his bike and ran to the RSPCB speedboat. A wrench was sticking from its dashboard and wires were hanging out. The controls had been smashed.

  Ulf looked out to sea. The Baron’s boat was disappearing over the horizon.

  “We’ll never catch him now,” Tiana said.

  “Yes, we will,” Ulf told her. “We can take the submersible.”

  He ran along the dock to the RSPCB’s orange underwater-reconnaissance vehicle. It was half-submerged in the water. He untied its mooring rope and stepped onto the metal hull, then lifted up the hatch to get in.

  Tiana hesitated. She’d never been underwater before. “How can we follow them under the water? We won’t be able to see them.”

  “We can track the sea monster. Its beacon will show up on the submersible’s computer. Come on!”

  Ulf started climbing down a short ladder. Tiana flew in, and Ulf reached up and closed the hatch.

  He climbed into the submersible’s cockpit and looked out through the viewing sphere, a bubble-shaped window at the front.

  “Are you sure you know how to work this?” Tiana asked, flying past a row of red buttons. The inside of the submersible was dotted with switches and dials.

  Ulf flicked a switch. The controls lit up and the engine hummed. He checked the power levels and tapped the pressure gauge. Then he turned on the navigation system and a blue screen appeared in a panel on the wall. It was an electronic map. In the center of the screen was a white cross indicating the submersible’s positi
on. To the west an orange dot was flashing. It was moving away from them. “That’s the sea monster’s beacon,” Ulf said.

  Tiana flew to the viewing sphere. “Full steam ahead!” she said. “FOLLOW THAT SEA MONSTER!”

  Ulf pushed the control stick forward and the submersible’s thrusters powered up.

  Chapter 19

  AS THE SUBMERSIBLE PULLED AWAY FROM THE dock, Ulf turned a metal wheel, emptying the pressure tanks. The submersible began to dive. A depth gauge on the control panel showed its descent: one meter, two meters, three meters, four meters, five meters…

  Bubbles rose in front of the viewing sphere as the four thrusters propelled the submersible through the lagoon.

  Ulf could see sea beasts in underwater enclosures. They passed a golden sea serpent with a bulge in its belly where it had swallowed an anchor, a yellow-finned sea monkey, a clump of carnivorous seaweed and a flaming squid that was glowing underwater, burning red with fire.

  They headed to the sea gates. As the submersible approached, the automatic gates opened to let it through.

  They sped out into the ocean, and Ulf looked through the viewing sphere. Sunlight was filtering through the water, sparkling on shoals of silvery fish.

  He was in the wild. Ahead stretched mile after mile of deep blue sea.

  Ulf checked the navigation system. The orange dot marking the sea monster’s position was moving steadily to the west.

  “Hold on tight, Tiana,” he said. Ulf set the thrusters to turbo drive and the submersible surged forward.

  Tiana hovered at the viewing sphere, pressing her hands to the glass. The submersible was speeding above the seabed.

  Ulf looked down. Rocks and sand blurred beneath them. They overtook a shark, its teeth flashing as it turned.

  Ahead, columns of seaweed as tall as trees rose from the ocean floor. Green and purple leaves hung in the water like ribbons. It was an underwater kelp forest.

  The submersible powered forward and long swishing kelp leaves slapped against the viewing sphere. The forest stretched as far as Ulf could see and, all around, seals were playing in the weed. The thrusters groaned as ribbons of seaweed tangled in the propellers. Ulf reduced the power and steered carefully, weaving the submersible in and out between the swaying green columns.