Undercover: Secrets & Lies

by Jennifer Loren

  “Get out of the way,” Nathan fumes. I push forward so he has a better shot, only Titus pushes Nathan’s gun away and shakes his head. Nathan is as stunned as the rest of us. There are no words spoken, but something becomes clear to me in that moment. Only one person here is against Ben, and it isn’t Titus. Nathan is Legion, not Ben, the ghost is after him and for good reason.

  “Ben!” Josiah yells, pointing.

  “I told you he could handle himself,” Luca whispers with happiness.

  Ben walks towards us cursing and pointing his finger in Goodman’s face. “I told you. I told you to watch where the fuck you’re walking. This one needs to be security of the mailbox. Anything else is too much.” His grumbling only stops when he realizes everyone is staring and most are smiling. “What?”

  “What?!” Gus laughs. “We thought you were dead, man. How the hell did you get out?”

  “We didn’t. Jackass tripped the wire when Laila yelled. On cue! Jackass has zero ability to remain calm. I heard the ticking and pulled us both into an old safe and secured the door as the bomb went off. Ten seconds. We had ten seconds. There was no way to make it out in time. The safe saved our lives. The blast knocked it sideways, and we had to dig our way out, but that old bastard held up. I need to get one of those bad boys for my condo.” Ben finally smiles when Luca hugs him and Gus jumps on him.

  “Hold me. I was so scared, Ben,” Gus dramatizes, making Ben carry him as if he’s a damsel in distress. All the boys start laughing until we hear a gun go off. Titus grabbed Nathan’s gun and shot Goodman in the head, killing him instantly.

  “Don’t ever do that again,” Titus fumes at Nathan. Nothing else is said. He simply gets back into the car with two guards of his choice and leaves. He doesn’t even allow Nathan into the same car, which is how he got here. Nathan scowls at us, grabs Kenny, and tells him to drive, leaving the rest of us to figure it out.

  Ben throws his hands up. “Alright, I guess I will handle things from hear, Dickhead!” He makes a call while motioning for Josiah and Mateo to help with Goodman. “They’ll be here in a minute. Just wrap him up and clean up. We will have police and everyone else here in about two minutes, so move it. They wrap the body and throw it into a trunk until a guy is dropped off to take off with the car. Fire and rescue show up soon after, with police somewhere in the middle of all the insanity. Ben handles it just like he said he would. During it all, I remain backed up against the fence, watching Ben’s every move since he walked out alive. I can’t hear and I can’t feel anything. All I know is that the moment I thought he was dead, I didn’t care about anything. An anger like I have never felt before washed over me, and I was ready to kill over it. I don’t know how to breathe without pain. It’s all too real. The thought of losing him is too much, and I fear I will never have him back. Suddenly, nothing matters anymore. A fireman comes up and asks me some questions, but I can’t hear them.

  “Ma’am. Ma’am, are you alright. Do you need any medical attention? Ma’am?” I wave the person off, annoyed by him disrupting my thoughts and view of Ben.

  Luca must have heard him because he turns and looks at me. He nods towards me, but I can’t move. I watch as he moves towards Ben and whispers something in his ear. It must have been about me because Ben turns and looks me over. Luca speaks to him as he shakes his head and sighs. Most everyone is gone when Ben says something to an officer and receives a nod. Next thing I know, Ben is headed straight for me.

  “Are you alright?” I step back, afraid that if I touch him, he might not be real. When he reaches for me, I stumble, and he catches me. “Well, you’re clearly not okay.” He picks me up, causing me to gasp abruptly. My head spins and falls against his when everything goes dark.

  I wake up, instantly searching until his hand takes hold of mine. Once I find his eyes, I lie back and breathe. An oxygen masks covers my mouth, and a nurse walks in to take my pulse and look me over.

  “You’re looking much better. Do you have any ringing in your ears?” She asks a bunch of questions that I shake my head or nod to until she seems satisfied. “I will get the doctor and see about getting you out of here then.”

  I won’t let Ben let go of my hand. I can tell he has questions, but he doesn’t seem to know how to react. Once I am released, he helps me to his car, and I suddenly realize he will probably take me to Henry’s. “I don’t want to go to Henry’s.”

  He sits back and sighs. “Where do you want to go?” I don’t have an answer for him. “I really want to yell at you right now, but I’m not used to seeing you so vulnerable.”

  “Yell at me for what?”

  “For what? Laila, you tried to kill Titus right in front of everyone. I am shocked he didn’t have you killed right then and there. You, of all people, should know better, and, I would think you’d have more control.” I glare at him with a huff before turning away and staring out the passenger window. “What was that? Laila, I swear.” His deep sigh just annoys me. He doesn’t understand. “I called Henry, and he is worried about you. I think it’s best if I take …”

  “No!” I snap. I don’t know how to tell him without making my life so much more complicated, and his as well. “I just—just want to go somewhere and think for a little while. I don’t care where. Drop me off at the hotel if you need to be somewhere.”

  “I don’t have anywhere to be. And I am not leaving you alone in a hotel room. You just left the hospital.”

  “I don’t want to answer Henry’s questions right now. Okay? I don’t want him to think it was serious, so I need to think of what I can say to him,” I say, seeming to satisfy him.

  “Fine. I’ll take you to my place, and you can get some rest and face him tomorrow.” He looks over at me as I bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling. He doesn’t say a word during the drive, and the elevator ride to his place is equally as quiet. When we walk in and he shuts the door, I hear his deep, frustrated sigh, and I know what he’s thinking.

  “If you don’t want me here, just say so.”

  “You said so, Laila. You’ve called the shots since I met you. I don’t know whether I am coming or going with you. You smiled. You actually smiled when I said I would bring you here. For the life of me, Laila, I don’t know why. Are you using me? Do you just want everyone to bow down to your wishes and not ask any questions?” He steps into my face and shakes his finger at me with anger. “I’m not doing it. I’m not going to be the man you sleep with when you feel like.” I stand toe to toe with him, wanting to scream at him but nothing I could say right now would make any sense. “You know what? Let me take you to your boyfriend’s house. I’m sure Daisy will take real good care of you.”

  He turns his back to me, heading for the door. I grab the nearest thing and throw it at him. My aim is on point as the vase hits the wall just as he passes. He looks down at the broken pieces and then at me, ready to go off. My body fills with emotion, and I can’t control it anymore. I rush out of the room and into his bathroom, stripping down to nothing and jumping in the shower to hide the tears that rush down my face without permission. It’s all too much, and I don’t know how to deal with it all anymore. I can’t let him see me cry. I can’t let him see me vulnerable, again. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop crying. Once I started, everything I have ever held onto releases. Ben’s shadow stands outside the shower, listening, and I assume waiting, for me to finish. “Laila.”

  “Go away. Please just let me be.”

  “You know I can’t do that. Tell me why you’re crying. I’m really worried about you right now. Laila, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here tonight. I think Henry is better suited to help you right now.” My tears come on even stronger. I can hardly breathe. He steps out of the shadow and to the edge of the shower, searching for me and finding me crumpled in the corner, water mercilessly beating down on my trembling body. Any anger he had instantly dissipates at the sight of me. He reaches down and pulls me up into his arms. “You’re going to be the death of me.”<
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  His hands cradle me to his chest, holding me as if he is protecting me from anyone that might come near. “I don’t want to leave, Ben. Please don’t make me.”

  “Laila …”

  With my arms around him, I hold on even tighter, hiding my face against his cheek. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I just can’t let go. I can’t let go, of you. I screwed up, Ben. I screwed up so bad, and I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.”

  “I don’t understand, Laila.” He moves his head just enough to press his sweet lips against my cheek. “What did you screw up?”

  “It was supposed to be easy. Then, I met you and everything went wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  He suddenly becomes more insistent, pulling away to look into my eyes. “What wasn’t supposed to happen, Laila? Tell me.”

  “You. You, Ben.” I shake my head, wanting to confess everything, but my fear of losing him is too great.

  “Laila, what about me?” he asks, watching as I struggle with the words. “What are you so afraid of? Is it Nathan? Did he threaten you? Titus?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “Why? Why can’t you tell me?”

  “I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. And now, I can’t stop loving you no matter how hard I try. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. You know I love you, but you have to tell me everything or I can’t help you.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I say, hiding my face from him.

  He lifts my chin and looks at me with a warm smile. “You won’t lose me. We both have secrets we need to confess to each other. Promise to tell me, and I’ll tell you. Then, we’ll figure it all out together. Okay?” I nod. “For now, I need you to calm down and tell me you love me again.”

  I smile against his. “I love you,” I repeat until his luscious lips take in mine. I tear through his soaking wet shirt, licking the water off his chest. I make my way down to his pants and release him, all of him. He runs his strong hand down my back and takes hold of my ass to lift me up and slide his throbbing pleasure deep inside of me. My head falls back with sensational satisfaction. Ben’s lips graze my neck, kissing his way back to my lips. I open my eyes briefly.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you,” I say, accepting my destiny. I don’t want to let go of this feeling. I don’t want to let go of him, ever again. I want to hold onto the smile he has on his face right now forever. Feeling him inside me, his arms wrapped around me, it’s addicting. My body is his, and his mine. I lose my fingers in his hair and my breasts in his mouth, each nipple being cared for gently by his tongue. I respond in favor, rising up to the tip of his erection and wiggling my way back down.

  Ben groans, “I love when you do that. You know what else I love?” He whispers in my ear.

  “You mean besides me?”

  His smile lights up. “Yeah, besides you, Tiger.” His hand slides over my ass and between my legs. “I love feeling you come on me. When your pussy tightens on my cock, I lose my mind.” My head spirals out of control as he works me into a frenzy. The heated water steams over us, inflaming our skin as we work our way to a brilliant fervor. I grip his arms before falling against him with a whimper. He continues to hold my legs up around him, driving his pulsating member inside of me until his final, groaning pleasure. Ben nuzzles me, still holding me close. “I love you so much, Laila.”

  Our shower finally turns into what it was intended. Me admiring his perfect ass in its greatest form, naked and wet. He’s caught me many times checking him out, and every time I’ve denied it—until now. He looks over his shoulder at me with a smile as I play and enjoy. “Checking me out again?”

  “Yeah, I am. So what?” I rub my hands over him and gently bite into his warm, wet skin.

  “Oh, so you’re brave again? I guess I should have enjoyed the vulnerability while I could.”

  “I’m vulnerable, but only to you. Don’t screw it up.”

  “Never.” He leans in for a kiss that reminds me of what I don’t want to lose.

  “I promise I will never deny my love for you if you promise you will never hate me, no matter what.”

  “You don’t know much about love, do you?” I’m back in his arms as he whispers in my ear. “I don’t have the ability to hate you. I’ve tried and failed.”

  Ben makes me feel at home again, cradling me in his bed and rubbing my back, waiting for me to fall asleep. “You can go to sleep, too. You don’t have to keep watch over me.”

  “I want to keep watch over you. You don’t know what it was like sitting in that hospital, not knowing if you were okay.”

  “Yes, I do. I thought you were gone.” He squeezes me a little closer as my eyes become heavy. I begin to relax when his buzzer rings.

  Ben sits straight up in bed. “Shit, did you call Henry?” he asks, knowing the answer as soon as he reads it on my face. “Oh, he is going to be pissed. You’re answering that door when I let him up.”

  I get up and get dressed, waiting for Henry with the door open. He steps off the elevator with Harrison leading the way. “There’s my boy. Hi, Baby.” The wagging tail greets me with an abundance of affection until he sees Ben, then he whines and cries to get to him. I let him go so he can jump into bed with Ben. Henry walks up to me with a face full of disappointment. “I’m sorry. It was my fault. I forgot to call.”

  “I waited for you to show up. I thought, ‘Surely, she will not go home with him’. What are you doing, Laila?”

  “I fell in love.” I look down at the floor as the disappointment resonates around me.

  “What are you going to do now? It’s a conflict of interest to say the least.”

  I shake my head. “I’m going to have to quit. It’s just not worth it.”

  “You’ll be arrested, and you will lose any hope of achieving your goals.”

  “But I found a new goal, one I didn’t even know was available to me. I don’t think I will ever get another opportunity to feel this way again.” I hug him and whisper my apologies in his ear. “I’ll hand over what I know and let someone else handle it. Just give me a few days to talk to Ben.”

  Henry buries a tear into the palm of his hand. “I’m just happy that you’re finally happy. Do you think he will wait five years for you? We will try to get you a good attorney and maybe he can get you out by then.” He steps away, looking behind me as Ben steps out. “You better not hurt her. She’s been through enough.”

  “I know, and I would never hurt her. I love her.” Ben puts his arm around me and kisses my head which seems to make Henry even more uncomfortable.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re okay. Um, I just thought I would bring you Harrison. I brought some of his stuff with me. I think he should be wherever you are. And since you seem to be staying here tonight, again, well—here you go. Call me tomorrow, and we can talk more.” I hug him goodbye, taking Harrison’s things and trying to smile in some way that would reassure him. I’m not successful. He looks as if he failed his best friend and has little hope to redeem himself.

  Once he’s gone, I look to Ben for some answers that I know there is no way he could have. “I’m not sure he will ever be okay with us, with the job, with any of it.”

  “What did he mean about getting you an attorney, and maybe five years? Did you do something that’s going to put you in jail, Laila?”

  “I haven’t yet, but I am. I have to.”

  “You don’t have to do anything.”

  “Yes, I do. In order to save you, I do. Will you wait for me until I get out?”

  “I don’t like that question. I would wait forever for you, but you are really worrying me right now. Maybe we should run away and become new people?”

  “I wouldn’t mind that, actually,” I say, cozying up to him with a purr. “Where would you want to go?”

  “I thought you were tired.” Ben smiles, picking me up
to carry me back to bed. “How about we negotiate?”

  “Negotiate?”

  “I’ll give you clues for every indulgence you give me.” I find my way to a place that I know I can get some quick answers. “Oh, that’ll definitely get you anything you want.”

  CHAPTER 27

  Ben

  I wake up in my favorite place—tangled up with her. Now, I can tell her my secrets and hope she is accepting. We both agreed last night that we would have a quiet, calm dinner at home tonight and discuss our secrets with no judgement. We both have them, and we both have held back out of fear of what the other would think. I thought I knew her secret, but as it turned out, I only knew one of them. The more we talked last night, the more I realized whatever she has to tell me is way more complicated than I ever imagined. At least she is admitting she has secrets to share. The sooner we get this out of the way, the sooner we can leave here and start a new life away from the insanity surrounding Titus. I have to go into the office and track down all of Titus’s contacts who can get us some faked passports and social security numbers. We need four of each. It took me less than a minute to convince Luca and his fiancé to run away with us. It’s what he’s wanted all along.

  The moment I leave the bed, she sits up. “Where are you going? You’re not working today?”

  “I need to go in and get some things worked out before our talk tonight.” I lean back over the bed to kiss her once more, “I’ll see you tonight, I promise.” With all of the excitement last night, I forgot about Nathan. The bastard tried to kill me. It was clear to everyone, and I know Titus realized he and I will never be able to work together. One of us will have to die. When I walk into the house, Nathan stares me down to the point that I prepare myself for a fight. He doesn’t move. He simply continues to stare as I walk away. “You’ve reached a whole new level of creepiness, Nathan. You should speak to a therapist about that.”