FIFTY SHADES OF FAT

by Summer Goldspring

  FIFTY SHADES OF FAT

  Chapter 1

  I only had one wish in my life. I did a lot of inconceivable acts to accomplish my wish. No one would ever do the things that I’ve done. No one was that desperate…

  I hated the way I looked in mirrors and in pictures. I wondered if I was the only girl in the world that wasn’t photogenic. Mirrors were so evil in my opinion. Every time I looked in the mirror, all I saw was fat. Cellulite loved my legs and they became best friends. Fat-Emma was what some people called me. I tried every diet out there to try to lose at least five pounds. I hated skinny bitches! One thing I absolutely hated the most was the fact that I wanted to be just like them. Most women were in denial about something that I always fought mentally and physically all my life. I thought they should’ve been honest with themselves. Every person in the world wanted one thing. We all want to be skinny, especially women. I really hated people. If you were a skinny girl, I hated you with a passion.

  I tried many gyms and I was always the ugly, fat girl that people made fun of. I was the fat girl that nobody wanted to be around. I just wasn’t eye candy. There must have been a million girls just like me, all trying to do the same things day in and day out. There was not one person that didn’t want to lose fat. It was just never ever going to happen for me. I had no will power. I had to eat my tubs of ice cream, junk food, watch my soaps, reality shows, and loved every second of it. No pain, no gain!

  I wanted to lose fifty-pounds! That was impossible for me. I wasn’t going to eat a carrots and celery sticks like those super skinny skeleton models. I would rather die hundreds of times over. It would have been perfect to lose all my fat and be skinny. I would have been modeling, the men would have raped me with their eyes, and I wouldn’t have been so depressed. I was horribly depressed and I just wanted to see the whole world burn.

  One of my worst experiences of being a fat ass was at a gym which was just a horrible one. I was part of the Pilates class. I was in the middle of the class. I was surrounded by a bunch of snobby women who happened to be fit and a couple of fat women in the class and I was one of them. The male instructor was rude, with a French accent, who was obviously gay, not that there was anything wrong with that. He dressed in very short silk shorts and a tight undershirt. He had the flattest stomach ever… He would yell at anyone who wasn’t motivated enough. I was yelled at by him constantly. “Come on you, pick up the pace!” he yelled. I gave him a dirty look. I was lifting my legs and struggling as fast as I could to keep up with the group. Suddenly, in the middle of the session, as I was on my back doing some stretches, lifting my legs over, I let out a loud fart! As embarrassed as I was it stunk! I got off my sweaty fat ass and left the class. I was not alone as half the class took a break, but I knew it was cause I let a hard one out. It must have been the tacos and chili I had eaten the night before. I was really humiliated. In the change room after Pilates class, I noticed all the women who were showering, and I admired how slim and fit they were with their firm boobs and nice asses. I did the impossible. I walked in the shower room naked with my fat body and joined them. From the side of my eye I noticed the smirks and dirty looks that I was getting. The two women near me were in a hurry to get out of the shower since they didn’t want to be showering next to my disgusting sweaty, smelly body. I drenched myself with body wash and closed my eyes. A minute later I was washed off. I looked around and the shower was abandoned. I felt like I was like the plague. People just hated me as I hated them. The next class was the last class I ever went to. It was business as usual. I was getting yelled at by the instructor, the women around me hated every second of my presence, and then it was time for a squat exercise that I was not used to doing. The instructor wanted all of us women to go up and down and up and down. I was trying to keep up but I couldn’t. The instructor came up to me to degrade me. He was yelling at me while the other women laughed. “Let’s go girl, move it! Up and down! Up and down, and up and down! Move it, faster, faster, faster! Move it!” He ordered. I was exhausted and sweating out of my ass. Suddenly, as I went down, I sharted—and fell on my fat ass! It stunk and I ran out of the class crying and never went back. I was never so degraded in my life! After all that hard work I only shed off six pounds. I gained like twenty pounds back the next week and I was so unbelievably depressed out of my mind.

  I thought if I grew my hair, I would have looked less fat. My short blonde hair could have been longer. There were a million ways that would have made me look thinner, or so I thought. I was so fed up with my crappy life. At one point of my life I was suicidal. I had never seen a doctor but I was surprised I never did. A girl in my condition should have seen a shrink but it never happened. I thought about jumping off the top of my building on my birthdays. I didn’t want to shoot myself, I wanted my suicide to be epic and I wanted to be remembered. As soon as I turned eighteen, I decided to make my wish come true. I was engorged with motivation; I was willing to do anything. Even though the things I’ve done were wrong in every way, I didn’t care! I was one in a million. I was one desperate fat girl on a mission.

  My life was pretty pitiful. I was living on my own in some crappy, one bedroom, rundown looking apartment. The hallways had garbage everywhere and smelled like a rat’s ass. I had a few of my neighbor’s over to help celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Mother Nature must have hated me because the sun didn`t even shine on my birthday, ever.

  I wished for the same thing all throughout high school. I wished I was thin. I wanted to be the thinnest girl in the world. I had dreams about it. I went to bed on my eighteenth birthday and cried myself to bed. I would usually watch a romantic movie and masturbate, while eating junk food, and drinking beer. My couch would be soaked from how wet I got and from how much all the sweat my body produced.

  If no man was going to serve me, I would have to service myself. Sometimes I would read a book to help me sleep. I wished sometimes that I would never wake up.

  It wasn’t long after my eighteenth birthday that I took off for a long trip from town to town. I packed up my backpack, emptied my bank account and was going to take a long vacation.

  Vampires were scarcely a part of the community and I was about to seek out a vampire lover. If real men didn’t want me, I was willing to do anything for a vampire to love me. I heard rumors, that to a vampire, it was about what’s in the inside that mattered and not about what was on the outside. I wished the same was true for most men’s way of thinking.

  I used to dream I was a sexy successful woman. The ugly truth was that I was not tall; I was full figured, well, more like fat. I had short blonde hair, and light blue eyes, complimented by zits covered with tons of make-up. I wore dark clothes to hide my fatness, and it was a great idea that I did.

  I was not very outgoing and hated crowded places. I would judge myself in the mirror very often and rated myself out of ten. Usually it was a zero out of ten, but I was being way too generous to myself.

  I hated what I saw and thought to myself: “The way I looked, how could anyone ever love me?” I had the worst features. I hated my big ugly looking nose, and thick eyebrows to match my thick reading glasses. Cellulite loved to creep up on my thighs and ass. I hated the way I looked in pictures with my triple chin. To ease my depression, I read a lot of books. Sometimes I thought about the days when I was younger and how much I hated school. I also thought about the good times. I wanted to run to a place far away, and never ever come back.

  In High School people teased me for being overweight and would call me chunky, beasty, cow, and all sorts of shit. No guys ever attempted to tell me that I was somewhat attractive or at least cute, which is what I hoped for. I was also a bit of a nerd and had very few friends. I was the one girl that really had a h
ard time talking with guys.

  I had my first crush when I was in 9th grade. His name was Matthew and he was an absolute hottie in my eyes. This gorgeous guy had perfect brown wavy hair, blue eyes, and was the best player of the soccer team.

  He was the kind of guy you’d either want to marry, have a million kids with, or elope and have an affair with, and not care about a thing in the world. If I was taken I would cheat just to be with him, just a kiss is all I wanted for starters.

  Matthew was a bit of a jerk. He came off as very rude, but I think it was him trying to be funny with his bad humor. His personality wasn’t as sexy as his handsome face. His face just glowed. He was pretty. I imagined what he would look like dressed as a girl cause he could have passed for one.

  I still wanted to spend the rest of my life with Matthew. I had written a note to my best friend Tanya at the time, who sort of knew people that chilled with Matthew. Another positive thing about being best friends with Tanya was that her friends were popular, making her well liked.

  I wanted everyone to notice me and be popular to, but I seemed like a third wheel, or more like a seventh wheel. Since some of her pals knew Matthew personally, I felt it might increase my chances of ending up with the love of my life. I wanted to sleep with him badly. That never happened. Tanya took the note that I asked her to help hook me up with him but she took him for herself. Matthew constantly cheated on Tanya.

  In my quest for love, I was roaming from place to place. I was fed up with men, and I always wanted to try to get involved with a girl, but if I met a man I wouldn`t complain. I met this vampire girl. Her name was Lisa. Vampires were able to come out during the day as long as the sun wasn’t blazing. Her looks hit me; she was very pretty for a vampire.

  I was roaming the country and doing crap jobs.

  There was a small library in town and she worked there part-time. Vampires were a part of society and still needed money to live. They were only aloud to feed off animal blood. There were laws for vampires, but no one ever cared about the law. Vampires were not all the same either.

  I learned later she was eighteen, and had been eighteen for 1000 years. I thought a beauty like her must have had a lover, but after gazing at her for a several days, I checked out a book, and had a small conversation with her. I asked her out for coffee, and she smiled and said yes! She was pretty outgoing, had long golden brown hair and really strong green eyes. Those eyes were very mesmerizing.

  Lisa lived way out in the country. I was invited to her place for coffee rather than sitting at a Starbucks. I knocked on the door lightly at first, then harder since I didn’t think my knocks were heard. She answered the door with a smile. We found a place outside as evening approached.

  She brought red wine instead of having coffee. It was classy. We talked about our lives and how unhappy we both were. Lisa touched my hand and her soft skin made me want to kiss her deeply.

  I never asked how she was able to have a house in the country with the crap job she was working. She was a vampire, maybe she killed for it. I asked her about her past relationships and she was nervous. She revealed that she had a boyfriend who cheated on her. She said she wanted me, and I accepted her invitation for love. Before we could make out, the wine made me sick. I wasn’t a fan of wine. Vampires didn’t just love humans for the sake of loving. They wanted something in return. I offered Lisa my blood in exchange for her love.

  It was dark and the stars were shining. I was feeling a lot better. We started to kiss and made love outside. I was moaning and in heaven. Lisa took advantage of me, just like I wanted her to. She ate me out and sunk her razor sharp vampire teeth into my right thigh. I was a little shy since I had not shaven down there.

  She didn’t seem to care since she was a vampire. She was slurping my blood pretty fast. I never experienced multiple orgasms in my life! After all that love making, we were next to each other enjoying the stars in the sky. It was a quite night. We both did not say a word. We eventually made our way to the house and it was dark inside. We rested on her bed with candles that lit the room up.

  We were naked under the bed sheets. Lisa looked at me and smiled, but I was unable to speak to her, I felt disgraced. Why did I have to be so desperate? I decided to say something. I told Lisa how I was upset about the way I looked especially my weight.

  I felt lucky I had met her when I did. Lisa told me a secret that I thought was just a myth. She said that vampire blood helped humans lose weight fast! Just a small teaspoon of vampire blood would help anyone shed about five pounds of fat overnight. The vampire blood did not have the same result on everyone, and different vampires possessed stronger blood.

  In the midst of the conversation, I imagined a sight of a stunningly beautiful me. As Lisa spoke, I imagined myself. I wore a slutty looking red mini dress with shoulder straps and glass high heels. I had a delicate, slim figure with beautiful curves and smooth tanned skin. I looked graceful and innocent, not at all like the ugly fat girl I was before.

  I began to keep her in sight as I enjoyed the sight of Lisa more and more.

  Her eyes just glared into my eyes. Later we walked outside, naked, in the misty forest near her place. The air was cool and fresh and made my nipples hard, and we walked a distance away on the darker side of the forest.

  I wondered if I would ever have the chance to have some of her vampire blood to help me lose weight. I was very hesitant and very embarrassed to ask her. I wondered what my chances were. I had never met such a beautiful vampire girl in my whole life. As we walked I finally decided to ask Lisa about the blood.

  I politely asked Lisa if she would give me some of her blood to help me out.

  That night, I offered her a deal. I would pay her $50 for a teaspoon of her blood.

  “Does that sound good to you?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to pay” Lisa responded.

  I insisted that I pay her, and she continued to refuse then finally she accepted the offer. Lisa was too polite. As much as she refused, she knew deep down that she wanted the money. After all, it was a bad recession and everyone needed extra cash.

  So after that night things were not the same. With money involved, Lisa and I had more like a business transaction relationship. Night after night Lisa would bite her wrist and filled a teaspoon full of her powerful vampire blood. The first time I swallowed it, the blood actually had an awful taste to it. It had a shit taste to it. Lisa laughed when she saw how I couldn’t stand the taste.

  She was wearing a sexy blue skirt that night. She was even more glowing and appealing compared to the last time I had seen her. Her hair flowed onto her bare shoulders. She wore no makeup and she did not need any since she had natural beauty.

  Lisa’s neat groomed eyebrows were perfect. Her round lips were sexy pink. She did not say a word all night but she seemed to know that she was special to me. We made love like never before that night. She ravaged me like never before and her fangs sunk into my thigh again. I experienced orgasm-after orgasm and I was soaking wet!

  That night after we made love, the bedroom window was open and it was breezy. We held hands as the fresh night air blew inside the bedroom.

  “Have you ever thought about marriage? Lisa asked”

  “Yes, all the time. That’s all I ever dream about.” I said.

  I was shocked that the subject of marriage was even brought up. I wondered if I was steps away from marrying Lisa.

  “I think you and I were meant to be Emma” Lisa said.

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “I feel it all the time when we are together.”

  “We should do it. Let’s get married!” I said.

  “It might not be easy at first, but life is never easy.” Lisa said.

  I agreed with Lisa. We continued to talk for hours that night and I fell asleep. Vampires were all different. Some vampires needed sleep and some didn’t. Lisa needed her sleep.

  Over the next several nights I noticed that I had lost weight. I was actually ha
ppier than the relationship I had with Lisa, but I never told her that. Our transaction relationship seemed to be getting better. She was always a woman of few words but she had her moments of conversation. I could never guess what she was thinking. She always had a look on her face as if she was thinking of something fascinating, and she was a fascinating person.

  One night she wore a pink skirt and red high heels. She also wore dark red lipstick. We made mad love like any other night.

  The following morning, I took a look at myself in the mirror. I was almost perfect looking. The past few days of Lisa’s vampire blood had shed about 25 pounds of my fat ass. I had more pounds to shed. One night Lisa came to me and wanted more money. I was stunned that she would even be thinking of money. I thought that things were going great with us. I was wrong.

  Lisa wanted to charge me $100 per teaspoon of her blood. I realized that the business transaction was getting worse. I was in denial. I argued with Lisa day in and day out.

  At first I refused to pay her for a few days and I noticed my fat-started to come back! Lisa told me that vampire blood was only a temporary fix and that if you stop using it the fat would eventually come back but at least it came back slower. I managed to gain back eight pounds of fat back since I stopped paying Lisa. I thought she was being very selfish.

  I was furious with Lisa. One night, when I turned on the lights she wasn’t in bed with me. She came into the bedroom to get a gown and she was naked. She was trying to piss me off by not saying anything and ignoring me.

  She did many things to annoy me. This was her way of telling me she wanted me out, and that it was over. Lisa did many annoying things like she never did before. She left the bathroom door open with its light on. I hated that with a passion.

  One night she silently cuddled up next to me and rested her head on my chest for a while. I felt her warm touch. Some vampires were cold blooded and some were warm blooded. After a human was turned, it would take decades and decades for the blood to turn completely cold. The older the vampire the colder the blood was. Lisa was very old in my opinion and still had a very warm body. I preferred warm blooded vampires of course.