A Question of Counsel

by Archer Kay Leah

  She peered over Emon's shoulder at the other guests. Compared to the sea of coloured attire and flowers, the grey stone walls looked dull, despite the silver gilding reflecting the torchlight.

  "Am I exhausting you yet?"

  Aeley glanced at Emon's grin. He spun them and swayed. For a moment, he seemed as charming as the young women in the room thought he was, their wistful gazes making her laugh. "Would you like the answer you want or should I say something else?"

  Emon chuckled and winked. "Glad to see you have a sense of humour. I'd abhor marrying a woman who doesn't. I’d either have to throw her away or marry her off to our stable hand. The old fool’s got no taste at all, and doesn’t mind taking what’s left over." He gestured in Ryler's direction. "Might want to watch his humour, though. Sarcastic, mostly, when he's not just completely insulting."

  I have no doubt. "Not subtle like yours?" Aeley asked, channeling her own sarcasm into her smile.

  "Goddesses, no, but thanks for noticing." He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Mostly we just wonder what he keeps ingesting that makes him such an idiot. I’m concerned about it, really. Maybe you can help me put him away somewhere quiet, somewhere where he’s not likely to hurt himself or others with his foolish notions. My parents worry he’ll become like Lira and lose us what respect we’ve managed to hang onto. It hasn’t been easy, you know."

  Aeley nearly pulled him to a stop. "What hasn’t been easy?"

  "Living in the shadows. Keeping our heads high. Making deals and saying all the right things to buy back good opinions. You’ve been a lucky girl," he continued, pressing his cheek to hers, his voice low. "So protected. So safe. Doing whatever you want and getting away with it. Funny how you’ve never once asked me how it’s been growing up. If it was hard to constantly hear my father called a liar and my mother called his accomplice, as if she were a common criminal."

  "Now hold on—" She pushed him away.

  Emon pulled her close, his hold tight around her waist. "I’m going to say this just the once: you might think we’re not worth your time, but you don’t know anything about what we’ve been through to get here. He tries not to show it, but it’s taken a toll on Ryler, and that worries me. I’m the eldest. I’m responsible for keeping our family in good standing. I could use the help, even if you don’t know what you’re doing."

  "What about your sister? Can't bear to spare one kind word about her?"

  "For good reason. She can’t be helped." He snorted and tossed his head, stepping back to put space between them. "She’s made it clear that she doesn’t care about the family. I’ve got to protect those who do. She works for you, so I understand why you feel the need to say something. But your loyalty’s misplaced. One day, you’ll see just how much a waste of breath she is. But I’m me. Constant, smart, always in control. Take me as your husband and the Derossas won’t be any trouble ever again. Take Ryler and you’ll be cleaning up his mistakes until you die."

  Caught between gagging and snorting, Aeley grit her teeth. Don't get me started. Here you are asking for my help and insulting me all at the same time. Maybe Ryler really is the smarter of the two. At this rate, I'd rather marry Mayr. She kept moving, trying not to meet the gaze of the onlookers. Was this how marriage with him would be? Don’t do anything stupid. Just pretend you care. Let him show you who he really is. Wouldn’t want him causing trouble.

  "So what comes after this?"

  Aeley blinked at Emon’s question. His expression was lax and his touch gentle, as if he had said nothing before then. "After what?" If you say anything about a bed, I will kick you in the—

  "After this ball. It's a successful event, and worthy of our first public outing, but where does it go after this? Riding, perhaps? Or maybe something closer to home—sparring?"

  She fought the urge to laugh. "You? Spar? And here I thought you were a man of commerce, not at all interested in anything more dangerous than a quill."

  "Flattering as that is," Emon replied with a smirk, "I do know the pointed end from the blunt. Father ensured we both knew how to, even though I was the one who excelled. I was taught by the best swordsmen he could hire, no expense spared. I can duel with the best of them—and live."

  "I don't know if you could keep up." Considering I was taught by superiors in the army and not fancy dancing men. "Perhaps we should put it to the test one day."

  "Tomorrow?"

  I intend on hiding tomorrow. "Sadly, no. I have responsibilities to attend to. I'll give it some thought and send for you. Maybe we can make a day of it, with something else other than waving weapons at one another. Can't have you ruining perfectly lovely clothing," she said, fingering the sleeve of his coat.

  "You have a point there. I go through enough as is."

  "Yes, well…" Aeley stopped, finding herself stuck on what to say next.

  When the music stopped, she knew her next move.

  "I'd love to keep dancing, but I have to get some air." With a gentle hand, Aeley pushed Emon away.

  "You're not running away, are you? You said you'd give us a fair chance tonight."

  "I know I did. And I'm not running. I just need to take a break."

  "Then you owe Ryler a dance, don't you?"

  "Yes," Aeley said with a sigh. "I've only danced with him three times. You, five. I owe him as much time. But you'll see me again later." Unless someone knocks me out or puts you out of my misery.

  She walked through the ballroom, squeezing through the crowd to the balcony. Vines climbed up the wall and down the steps, where they wound around the bronze statues of the Four Goddesses. Beyond them, the garden was dark, except for where moonlight touched the earth. Even in the dark, she knew the leaves of the trees were blood red and bright orange, while the white and blue flowers withered. When the night air rushed over her bare arms, she rubbed her skin and willed herself to stop shivering.

  "Tired of them yet?"

  Aeley jumped before spinning around to face Lira. The glimpse knocked the breath from her. Gone was the modest appearance. Instead, she wore a black gown with a neckline sitting just above her breasts. Tied with thick black ribbons around her waist, it seemed like she made the effort to display everything she normally hid. Even her hair was up and fastened with thin strands of white metal, barely hiding her neck, despite the few curls that escaped and brushed her naked shoulders.

  Too many responses rolled through her mind, most of them inappropriate. Holding her waist and willing herself to breathe, Aeley leaned against the balcony rail. "How do you put up with them?"

  "I avoid them," Lira replied, moving to stand beside Aeley. She leaned forward, with her elbows on the railing. "Being a scribe helps. It gives me a reason to get away from them. Vant gets me what work he can, and I stay in the villages sometimes when it becomes too much." She shook her head, another curl slipping from the metal strands. "Our family is all deals, trade, and politics. It wasn't always like this. My grandfather would kill my father for what he's done." She looked at Aeley, the dark paint around her eyes making them seem dark and saddened. "It's why I loved your father. He gave me the chance to do what I wanted, despite the Derossa name. Despite how much my father wanted revenge. I don't want to rely on my family's wealth and power, so Klyrin and he agreed that I could train as scribe."

  "And now you're here."

  "Yes."

  "And that makes you happy?"

  "You have no idea," Lira whispered, wringing her fingers. "I wanted this. I like you."

  Aeley blinked, trying to think of a response. On one hand, it sounded like a friend to another friend. On the other hand…

  Before she could respond, Lira cleared her throat. "Are you regretting your decision yet?"

  "What?"

  "Agreeing to consider this whole marriage thing. Do you think it's worth putting up with them?"

  Forget them—I'm still stuck on the other thing, Aeley wanted to tell her. "I don't know," she said.

  "I'm still a little surprised that you agreed."


  "I guarantee you that I'm even more surprised."

  "So, why?"

  Aeley laughed. "You sound like Mayr. He's still asking me that. Though I guess it's the price."

  "For what?"

  "For not wanting to lose everything. For not wanting to be alone." Clearing her throat, Aeley stared at the bushes below. "Being Steward is lonely. We live to serve and we have to make some tough decisions, always reminded that the people put us here and they could petition to take us out if we fail them."

  Memories flooded Aeley's thoughts. "I watched my father my whole life, and while I thought he was the strongest man I knew, he did everything alone. He never took another wife after my mother died, though there have been times where I think he should've. I don't want that life. I don't want to be alone forever, even if it means putting up with a husband I can’t stand."

  "Even when they’re in love with themselves?" Lira asked, leaning towards Aeley. Standing so close, Aeley could smell the perfume lingering on her skin, fragrant like an orchard in the height of summer.

  "If my father hadn't already made a deal with your family, I wouldn't have approached them. But he did and now I have to see it through. It doesn’t mean I get to be happy. It never was about that. Duty’s always been more important. Besides, if it weren’t them, it’d be some son of someone else who was important. It doesn’t make it any easier."

  Lira nodded slowly. "I doubt they’ll make any woman truly happy. Out of all the choices and it was them."

  "It could be any one of the available men and I still wouldn’t be happy about it." The words tumbled from Aeley's lips before she could stop herself. "It isn't just your brothers being themselves, it's the whole concept of giving myself over to a guy I don't care for. I have no interest in sleeping with them, or procreating. And it isn't because I don't know how—I know how. I've slept with guys before; I just don't care for it. I don't get pleasure from it like everyone thinks I should. I know Father wanted me to find someone nice, but his idea of nice isn't the same as mine."

  "Is it the same reason why you and Mayr aren't together?"

  "Partially," Aeley replied. "That, and he's my best friend. The only one who really understands me. We never wanted to ruin it." She tilted her head back to stare at the stars. "If only it wasn't your brothers. If only it was y—"

  Closing her mouth, she knew she'd said too much already. It always happened whenever they were together. Rarely did she tell anyone her most private thoughts, and when she did, she trusted only Mayr. But even then, she preferred to keep her deepest thoughts to herself, protecting them as if they were precious and easily shattered. Why could she not stop exposing those secrets when she was with Lira?

  "What were you saying?" Lira asked softly, her eyes searching Aeley's.

  "Nothing. Never mind. I was rambling."

  "Or telling the truth."

  When Aeley turned, Lira stepped closer. Their chests touched—a deliberate move, Aeley realized, when Lira leaned into her. She watched the rise and fall of Lira's chest under the simple gold pendant around her neck.

  "Imagine if you could tell me everything, without worrying about what I'd think," Lira murmured. Her face neared Aeley's. "Maybe this is exactly the change you wanted. Maybe you just need more time to put everything together. Or maybe you just need all the pieces."

  There was no time to breathe before Lira's lips touched hers, coaxing a soft kiss from Aeley with a gentle push and tug.

  Her thoughts spun. Aeley raised her hand to the balcony to keep steady, only barely registering the fact that her hand made it halfway before stopping in the air. Was the silence just in her head or had the music stopped?

  By the time Aeley realized what was happening, Lira's lips left.

  "Something for you to think about," Lira whispered. Without waiting for a reply, she walked towards the ballroom.

  She paused in the doorway and looked back, the light from the room illuminating her face and giving her skin a yellow glow. Her lips showed the hint of a smile, but her eyes said everything.

  Then, Lira turned and escaped into the crowd.

  Sucking in a breath, Aeley backed into the railing. For being just a kiss, she felt weak. Drawing her fingers across her mouth, she savoured the memory of their lips touching. There was an invitation in it, a challenge. Another option.

  Chapter Three

  Aeley stared at the door, her stomach flipping. Lira's message had said they would meet at midday, but it was well past. Where was she?

  Two days later and here I am, practically jumping out of my skin. Keep it together! No need to make yourself insane.

  Except she felt insane in the quiet moments, unable to withstand being alone. Since the ball, sleeping had been even more difficult, taunted by the memory of Lira kissing her. Ten years had passed since she had last been kissed, the difference being that this time, she wanted more. There were too many things she wanted to be true; too many hopes ignited, not just by Lira's lips, but in the way she drew things from Aeley and listened. What she had told Lira about not wanting to be alone had been the truth. It was also the first time she had said it out loud, always believing it would make her seem weak if she admitted it. She had spent her life acting strong, like she had everything under control, even when she felt like she was sinking in her choices.

  But Lira made her break through the illusion she had enforced. Did Lira realize that? Did she have any idea of the effect she had?

  There was so much to say, so much to do. Aeley had indicated nothing of what she wanted in her message to Lira, but there was no point. She's smart. She knows. She would've been expecting it.

  Unable to focus, Aeley threw the quill across the study, aiming for the door. It stopped short and fell. She tapped the desk rhythmically and glanced around the room. There was no use in waiting alone anymore. Aeley pushed aside the parchment, destroyed with nonsense images, and left the room to wander the corridors, smiling at the servants bustling along with their chores. For a moment, she considered searching for Mayr, but his teasing at breakfast was enough for one day.

  Stepping into the hall leading to the main staircase, she heard a door open and close, followed by Haydin's voice and a woman's light laugh. Finally.

  Aeley rushed towards the end of the corridor, slowing as she neared the foyer. Crossing the threshold, her gaze found Lira without hesitation. Her heartbeat tripped again.

  Lira dipped her head and removed her black cloak. She looked flushed as if she had run. "Sorry. I was caught up in things."

  With a nod, Haydin left the entrance hall. By his emotionless expression, Aeley believed he suspected nothing.

  Now what? Aeley turned her attention back to Lira. She had thought the letter through and chosen her words carefully, but nothing else. Anything she may have wanted to say was gone. Her mind was blank. Staring at Lira, she waited for the words to come.

  "That bad?" Lira moved forward with small steps.

  "Yeah," Aeley replied, her mouth dry. She followed Lira towards the empty hallway, daring to walk close.

  "Questions?"

  Aeley hesitated before answering. "Many." It took all the restraint she had to keep from asking them all at once.

  "Ask one and let's go from there."

  Easier said than done. "You were serious, right?" Aeley asked, expecting Lira to laugh.

  "I was. I am," Lira murmured. "I just figured it would get the message across better than rambling."

  "Well, it definitely worked."

  Lira stopped. She pressed the back of her hand into Aeley's bodice. "I shouldn't have, should I? I should've just… I thought I noticed you noticing me. I thought maybe when you said you weren't interested in them, you were indicating something else. But I made a mess of it, didn't I?"

  "No. I mean yes. Wait, no," Aeley said. She looked up to the ceiling and took a breath. "Yes, I noticed you. No, you didn't make a mess of it. I'm just surprised. How long—"

  "Long enough. With your father consta
ntly going on about you and then seeing you, it just sort of happened. I didn't think I should say anything. Then there was the Council meeting and it changed everything. And then there we were, you saying you didn't enjoy men as much and, well, I figured my chance was then." Lira bit her lip and looked away. "I'm used to doing what I have to do right then, no waiting. Whenever I wait, I lose. I've never been good at competing, not against my brothers."

  I don't doubt it. They'll fight to win.

  "So if I didn't scare you off, what happens now?" Lira asked.

  Aeley glanced at the narrow corridor to their left. The hallway was partially shrouded in darkness, ending in stairs that descended to the lower floor. It was a perfect hiding spot, quiet and rarely accessed, except in times of detaining a lawbreaker or pulling food from the cellars in the winter.

  No point in dragging this out when it's obvious.

  She tugged on Lira's hand. Ignoring Lira's confusion, she led them into the darkness, stopping before they reached the stairs.

  "What are you—"

  "This." Aeley pushed Lira against the wall and leaned in, pinning Lira's hands and cloak between them. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, the features of Lira's face becoming clear. Their quick breaths and Lira's scent drew her in closer. Drawing her hand through Lira's hair, she tugged on the curls. Lira took a sharp breath and pressed closer, her fingertips creeping up Aeley's waist.

  "Maybe we should try finishing what you started," Aeley murmured. Her lips lingered near Lira's, brushing along her warm skin with familiarity and need.

  Taking a breath, she pressed her lips to Lira's, tugging gently on her bottom lip when Lira kissed back. The kiss deepened without effort when Aeley leaned further and splayed both hands against the wall on either side of Lira. Desire overtook her, her feelings for Lira pouring out into each movement of her lips. Lira moaned, sending a rush of energy through Aeley. She struggled to breathe. Her body felt hot, her skin almost on fire. The ache in her belly pulsed, demanding more.