Hopelessly Devoted: (Sacred Sinners MC - Texas Chapter #3)

by Bink Cummings

  A lone tear trickles down my cheek. I swipe it away with the back of my hand. Impulsively, I reposition one palm on the little guy to shield him from his vile uncle. A flashback of the day Kade and I fought burns through my mind, overriding the need to cry with the protective instinct of a mother bear ready to do battle for her cub. Narrowing my eyes in Kade’s direction, I dare him to say something. To be a dick. To fight me with his brother present. With my girls here. Only, his reaction is different than I expect. Instead, Kade expels a long sigh, scratching the three days worth of dark stubble on his face as if defeated. As if I won. Did I? Is the fight over? Did he back down? The Dickcheese I know doesn’t roll over so easily. It’s not in his blood.

  “Baby.” Ryker’s choked, yet oh-so-sexy voice pierces through the room, drawing my attention to him lying on the hospital bed alive, and our children clinging to his side. Scarlett’s head rests on his pec, avoiding the bandages around his arm. The pure happiness radiating from her soft smile hits me smack dab in the chest, taking my breath away. On the opposite side rests my Rox, as she watches me with concern akin to her father’s, the skin crinkling between her pale brows. Somehow they found out. Those two, bright little girls who mean everything to me know that he’s their dad, and neither are upset that I didn’t tell them. I’ve pictured a version of this moment for years. Hoping he’d reappear again. That we’d be a family. Then one year melted into two, then three, until I wasn’t sure it’d ever happen. Yet, here we are. Frankly, I’m not entirely sure how to process all that’s happened. How can I? Shouldn’t I have known they knew it was him? Did I say something out of turn? Not that any of it matters now.

  “Baby,” Ryker repeats like a soft caress floating over my skin, coaxing a fresh batch of goosebumps to the surface. Shivering despite my warmth, I relax my posture against the door, head tilted back, shoulders loose, as a wave of relief washes through me at the sound of his voice. A cadence I wasn’t sure I’d ever hear again.

  “Tiger, please look at me.”

  I’m not ready. Not yet. I need another minute. Possibly two.

  Holding up a finger to inform Ryker I’m not ignoring him, I recollect my thoughts to get myself together for my three girls, him, and the little bundle sleeping on my breast. There’s no reason I can’t try to accept this at face value. Let the petty shit from the past lie. Vanessa’s dead. Our slate is wiped clean. We can return to being friends like we were doing before this all went to hell. We’ve endured enough. Today’s a new day. A chance for new beginnings. If this week has taught me anything, it’s that life is precious. One second it’s here. The next, you blink, and it’s gone. Time’s on no man’s side.

  “Mom, are you okay?” Rox asks.

  Reopening my eyes, and tipping my head down, I nod, trying my best to smile. It’s crooked and half-assed. “I’m fine, sweetheart.”

  “Are you mad?” she hedges. Ryker hugs her a little tighter letting her know it’s gonna be alright.

  “About?”

  Rox chews her bottom lip. “Um…”

  “Roxie found out about me bein’ her dad a while ago,” Ryker cuts in, taking the heat off my nervous Nellie. Not that she has anything to be worried about. I’m not angry. Shocked? Yes. Mad? Not at all.

  I gentle my tone. “Were you afraid to tell me, Rox?”

  “Yes. I didn’t want you to be angry that I found a picture of him at our old house under your bed… I promise I didn’t tell Scarlett until I thought he might…” Her face drains of color. “Die,” she whispers hoarsely, then buries her nose in his pec. Ryker holds on tight to both his kids, those beautiful blue eyes of his shining bright with tears. His Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he swallows hard and closes his eyes for a brief moment to get his shit together. Following suit, I do the same to combat the burning sensation in my nostrils. Darn emotions.

  Not wanting the girls to think I’m angry at them in any capacity, I clear the air. “Rox, I’m not mad at all. Just a little surprised. It’s okay you told your sister. I understand you needed someone to talk to. I wish you would’ve confided in me, too. I’m always here for you.”

  Brushing a few stray blonde hairs off her face, cheek smashed to Ryker’s chest, Roxie replies, “I know. But you’ve been crying so much. And with you takin’ care of the baby, and doing all you’re doing, I didn’t want you to worry more.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m a mom, I worry about everything.” Can I get an amen?

  Arching a brow, faking a sly smile, I do what moms do to lessen the load on their children’s shoulders. “Did you know that moms worry so much that we count how many vegetables you’ve eaten each week, so we know you’ll grow big and strong?”

  “You do?” Scarlett pipes up for once. For a minute there I thought she was living in her own little Scarlett shaped world full of unicorns, dads, rainbows, glitter nail polish, and babies, in no particular order.

  “Yep. And I count how many juice boxes are left in the fridge every single day,” I emphasize, dropping my glasses down my nose with big round eyes for effect. If I run out, Scarlett and Bear will never let me live it down. A big man like that can put Juicy Juice away like a champ. When he’s around, I’m refilling our stock twice a week if not more. I blame it on their drinking competitions. Scarlett swears she’s gonna beat Papa one of these days. It hasn’t happened, yet. Give it a few more years.

  “And how many pie slices there’s left,” Kade adds out of nowhere, shocking me to my core.

  Where the hell did that come from?

  Scarlett snorts a cute laugh. “That’s true, Uncle Kade, she does. She even hides the extra slices in the bottom of the fridge, so nobody touches them.”

  Ryker grins knowingly.

  Roxie nods in agreement.

  I groan, bested.

  Being the bigger person, at least in front of Rox and Scarlett, I turn toward Kade and make a silly face, doing jazz hands. “What-ever. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  My antics ignite a round of giggles from my kids, a chuckle from the sexiest man alive, and the most soft, half-cocked, heartwarming grin from my best friend. That I still want to throttle even if the desire isn’t quite as strong as it was an hour ago or a day before that.

  Shaping a heart using his long fingers, Kade puts it over his sternum and lifts his chin at me in silent acknowledgment. Another sliver of resentment sloughs off, replaced by unconditional love for my Dickcheese, my best friend, my amigo. Message successfully delivered. Lordy, I sure do love this numbskull.

  Throwing the sweet guy a bone, I return the exact same sentiment and chin lift. Surprised by my actions, I swear the poor guy sucks in the sharpest breath I’ve ever heard before covering his face with both hands. Uh… please tell me he isn’t crying or about to. That wasn’t my intention. Crap. Yep. His shoulders are shaking as a tiny hiccup echoes through the small space.

  Glancing over at Ryker for help, he inclines his head in Kade’s direction as if saying, “Go on. Give the man a hug.”

  Right. I can do this without bawling. I think. No, I can. I can do this. Yes.

  Steeling my emotions, I approach Kade like you would a wounded animal—cautiously, and pry a palm from his face. Ignoring the wet streaks painting his cheeks, I ease him to his feet and pull him into my arms, careful not to crush little man in the process. Kade’s strong biceps wrap around my neck, head stuffed into the crook, hot breath steaming the skin there as I massage my hands up and down his spine in soothing strokes.

  “I-I’m so sorry,” he sobs softly beneath my ear.

  Sucking back my own tears, I peck the side of his jaw. “I know. Me, too.”

  “Please don’t hate me.” Kade’s vulnerability guts me. This isn’t like him.

  “I could never. Even if I wanna shove the largest eggplant up your ass sometimes for pissing me off, I still love you.”

  Kade rewards me with a tiny chuckle, his tense muscles relaxing under my ministrations. “You had to go there, didn’t ya?”

 
; “It got ya to laugh.”

  He chuckles again. “You’re good at that.”

  Dragging his lips across the shell of my ear, my cheek, Kade pulls back, and cups my face in his big mitts before leaning in to press a single kiss to my upturned nose. Our eyes meet. His rimmed in red, with dark half-moons hanging underneath, indicative of our shitty week full of stress and fitful nights of sleep. “You’re amazing, Kat. And I’m truly sorry for what went down the other day. It was uncalled for. I should’ve handled it differently.”

  Laying my hand over his that’s cupping my jaw, I lean into his comforting touch, grinning up at him. “We’re both guilty parties, Kade. I forgive you.”

  Kade brushes a thumb across my scarred cheek, his adoring gaze soaking up the contours of my face. “Promise me the next time we fight that we don’t let it fester. I was fuckin’ miserable without you talkin’ to me.”

  “Deal.” Yanking my Dickcheese into another hug, we hold on to each other for ages, not wanting to let go, until a little someone makes a squeaking sound between us like he’s about to wake up. His legs shift inside the wrap, tiny toes pressing on my bump.

  Upon hearing the noise, Kade makes a hasty retreat. “Whoa, we didn’t squish him, did we?”

  For someone who isn’t fond of the baby, the worry etched across Kade’s face seems quite the opposite.

  Stroking little man’s bottom as I peek inside the wrap to check on him, I shake my head to squash Kade’s concern. “No. He’s fine. I have a feeling he’s about to wake up. He’ll need a diaper change and a bottle soon.” My nose wrinkles, now remembering what I forgot to bring inside. “Which means we’ll have to leave. I left the diaper bag in the truck.”

  The bald hottie lying in bed makes a disgruntled sound in the back of this throat.

  “You drove separately? I thought Pops or Ghost was bringin’ ya?” Kade asks.

  “No. I drove the pickup that Dad gave me to drive. He brought Scarlett and Rox to the hospital after school, so I didn’t have to make a special trip. I had to come into town anyhow to take the baby to the pediatrician for his first checkup.” Which went splendidly. He’s put on three ounces since birth. Dr. Huggins was impressed, considering most babies lose weight after they’re born. Both of my girls did. As an added bonus, meeting the new doctor, whom I adore to pieces, was the icing on the cake of my morning. I not only got a clean bill of health for Boy Knox, I also tied down a pediatrician for Baby Girl Knox. At least until we return to Indiana, whenever that might be.

  “You went alone?” This comes from Ryker.

  Turning around so I can see both men at the same time, I reply an even. “Yes.”

  Apparently, this displeases them, if their matching scowls are any indication. It’s not like I had a choice. Bear was busy. Dad was grabbing the girls from school. Rosie left. Kade’s been here with Ryker since the accident. What was I supposed to do? Not go? Why? When I’m perfectly capable of driving a truck and taking a child to a doctor’s appointment. I’ve been doing it for years on my own.

  Before either of them get a chance to scold me and my choices, I cut them off at the pass. They don’t want to argue with me on this. I’ll win. Mama Tiger always does. “I’m happy to report he’s healthy and growing like a weed.” Not that either of them gives a fuck.

  “That’s not the point, Tiger,” Ryker grumbles.

  “Then what is?” My attitude comes out in spades, hip cocked, lips pursed.

  “You’re carryin’ my kid. ‘Bout ready to fu—freakin’ pop. Ghost should’ve gotten you a car to drive. Not a damn truck. You shouldn’t have to climb that high let alone carryin’ a car seat,” Ryker growls, pauses, then shifts his pissed off gaze to Kade. “What the hell were they thinkin’? Club shit hasn’t been fully handled, and now they’ve got my woman runnin’ around town without protection. In a truck, no less. With a goddamn baby in her belly and another in the backseat. If you don’t fuckin’ get them in line before I get outta here, I’m gonna kill ‘em when I do. Ya got me, brother?”

  “Yep, I was thinkin’ the same thing.” Snatching his cut off the couch, Kade slips it on with a halo of ‘don’t fuck with me’ surrounding him. Sheesh, all this testosterone suffusing the air is stifling, and for what? Me riding in a truck with a baby. Damn alpha males and their misplaced macho bullshit. If I didn’t know this was coming from a good place, I’d consider it an insult.

  Kade lifts his chin to my blonde angels. “Girls, why don’t you come with me for a bit. Give your mom and dad time to talk. Maybe we can grab somethin’ to eat in the cafeteria, and find the squirt’s diaper bag so your mom can feed him when he gets hungry. You game?”

  Ryker

  Kissin’ my baby girls goodbye, I watch as they hug my woman next before they leave with their uncle to munch in the cafeteria. Surprisingly enough, the food’s not half bad. The stuffed shells I had for lunch were better than expected. Kade’s been living off the grub for a week and hasn’t complained. Anything’s better than the sludge we grew up eatin’ at the clubhouse. Beans and rice all the damn time, along with canned applesauce. Disgusting as fuck. Oh, and that budget friendly mac ‘n’ cheese. Pops was too cheap for Kraft. The noodles were always either undercooked or over. The sauce too soupy or pasty. Kade and I used to sneak peanut butter sandwiches just so we didn’t have to eat whatever the brothers attempted to cook. For dessert, our asses ate cheap ice cream cones filled with store brand chocolate syrup. The same stuff we used to make chocolate milk. It didn’t taste like Hershey’s, but it’s not like we had a choice in the matter.

  Pattin’ a spot on my bed for my little Tiger to come sit, I attempt to coax her over. I want her close enough to touch, smell, and maybe… if she’ll let me—taste. Not her pussy, ya dirty fucker, get your mind outta the gutter. I wanna taste her sinful mouth. The one that’s been tempting me since she walked through that door lookin’ sexy as fuck in her cute maternity leggings, Chucks, glasses, and white flowy top that’s covered with crisscross segments of gray fabric. She used to wrap our kids up in those contraptions to keep ‘em close to her breast. I’ve never been so turned on by anything in my life. Gorgeous. Simply goddamn gorgeous. I know it’s not the best time to get hard, but my dick doesn’t care. He’s too busy sniffin’ the air underneath this blanket for our woman’s sweet scent.

  When Kat pauses too long contemplating if she should get close, by worryin’ her bottom lip between her teeth, I pat the spot again with my uninjured arm. “Baby, get your ass over here.”

  The stubborn minx doesn’t budge, and my cock gets all the harder. Narcotics and pain can’t keep the good man down. Not when his drug of choice is standing in the same room. Fuck. I wonder if painkillers will take the edge off the massive case of blue balls she’s bound to give me.

  Ignorin’ my request, Kat adjusts her ponytail over her shoulder and checks the bundle strapped to her chest. “We need to talk about him,” she says, starin’ at the kid, not me.

  This is not the territory I wanted to cover so soon. Couldn’t she forget how much of a prick I am, cuddle on me some, give me a kiss or two, then go back to remembering how much shit I’ve done, and give me hell about the baby she’s holdin’? One kiss. That’s it. That’s all I want. All I’ve thought about since I woke up this mornin’, when Pops told Kade he’d try to get Katrina here today to see me with the girls.

  Fuck it.

  I’ve died twice and fought to stay alive for her. There’s nobody else I need to live for. Nobody, but her. When it comes to women, they love their kids the most in the world. For men, it’s our old ladies above all else. That part hasn’t changed since the moment I laid eyes on her when we were basically dumb kids playin’ house, havin’ babies, and lovin’ each other with everything we had before I messed us up. If I’m breathing on this earth because of my unconditional love for her, then I damn well better be man enough to say what needs to be said.

  Exhaling a deep breath that aches all the way into my chest, I go for broke. “Kat… Tiger�
�� I… Listen, I know we gotta figure shit out with the kid. But I need your mouth on mine in the next minute, or I’m climbin’ outta this fuckin’ bed to take it. It’s been a rough month. I know I put you through some shit with Vanessa and all that. You have every right to be pissed. But right now, for me, for… us, get your sexy ass over here and kiss the man who loves you, like you mean it… Please.” I’m not opposed to beggin’ if necessary.

  “Eee, eh,” Kat squeaks, her cheeks flushing, lips partin’ in a way that tells me she wants it, too. She shifts on her feet, unsure.

  I’ll be damned if my babe chickens out on me now. Not when I know she wants it. Bet her nipples are hard, thinkin’ of the plethora of naughty things I’d love to do to her body, too, but can’t.

  Crookin’ a finger in the come-hither motion, I demand, “Now, babe. Right fuckin’ now. Stop overthinkin’. Lips on mine. You’ve got twenty seconds.”

  Kat takes a tiny step in my direction that feels like a mile.

  That’s it, sweetheart, take another step toward your man.

  Overeager, my dick jumps, painting pre-cum along the underside of my unsexy hospital gown.

  “Eighteen, seventeen, sixteen,” I count down to get her sexy ass in gear. “Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen—”

  “Really, Ryker?” Kat smiles all teeth and beauty.

  Damn, if that doesn’t take my breath away.

  “Really, babe. I’m desperate here. Need some mouth-to-mouth. Yours on mine. Maybe some tongue action if you’re up for it. I brushed my teeth before you came.” Lifting both hands in front of me, I edge her forward with an exaggerated ‘gimmie gimmie’ gesture.

  Red-faced, swollen lips slightly parted, Kat shuffles closer and closer, a tiny bit at a time, like I’m luring her forth ‘til I’ve got the fox standing beside my bed. Not givin’ two fucks how much this might hurt, I sit up further, reach out, gently wrap my palm around the base of her neck, and draw her mouth to mine. She gasps a tiny breath. Then it’s on. Lips molded to lips, I take what I want, not asking for permission. Hot and dirty I kiss my lady; flick her mouth with my tongue to gain entry, and delve into a luscious pool of slick heat, dueling for ownership. Groaning, I savor the sweet warmth seepin’ into me. The little moans emitting from her throat. The way she lays a tentative hand on my shoulder to steady herself. My dick throbs, wantin’ to throw her down and fuck her into the mattress. I shove that urge to the wayside and attack her lips, pourin’ infinite love into our connection, ‘til we’re both left a panting mess of unspent lust and hormones.