A Right Old Fiasco in Borrington

by M W Foolster

  "Well?"

  Leroy attempting to look innocent,

  "Whad's the big deal, Sis?"

  Lewis defensively,

  "You said keep them entertained for awhiles."

  Leroy agreeing,

  "Yer, Sis, you said sing some songs with them. An’ not as if we know many. An’ even less we both know. So whad we done now?"

  Lewis nodding furiously

  "Yer, Sis, whad we done?"

  "But how could you, that of all songs, fuck sake!" Tammy snaps.

  Lewis gasps dramatically,

  "You hear that, brov? Tammy swore."

  "Damn right I heard it, Lewis, an’ am gonna have to tell mum, Tam. You know she don't like bad language,"

  Tammy shrieks at them

  "Will you just shut the fuck up?"

  Leroy looks at his brother open mouthed,

  "She swore again, Lewis, can you believe that?"

  "Look, chill will you sis, not as if we used the actual lyrics. We kinda improvised an’ toned it down, you know?" Lewis rolls his eyes.

  Jessica frowns at Lewis, before asking,

  "Actual lyrics?"

  Lewis grins at Jessica, and winks cheekily.

  "Yer, Jess, you know...

  “Me good an hard…

  Her nice an’ tight…

  She ride me bod...

  All through the night...

  She..."

  Tammy shrieking, and threatening to slap her now cringing brother.

  "That's enough, Lewis. What is wrong with you?"

  Lewis stares at his sister through his fingers, expecting a hefty smack any second. Looking sheepish as he says,

  "Give me a break, why don't you. I didn't write it and Jess asked. Right, Leroy?"

  Leroy nodding in agreement,

  "Jess did ask, Tam. You gotta give him that."

  "Enough already,” Tammy sighs. “Look, just go and use the PC or something. Just… Just stay out of trouble for once... Please."

  They both flash Jess a huge smile, Lewis winking at her again as they exit the room. Once out of Tammy's sight, they give each other a high five, laughing as they strut cockily towards the computers at the far end.

  A giggling Jessica. "Those are two, cheeky little sods. Lovable rogues though. Look, Tammy, no harm done, ehh hon?"

  Now perched on the edge of an armchair, Tammy stares down at her feet.

  "They just light my fuse, you know. Not easy keeping them out of trouble, an’ with mum working shifts and, well, since Dad left, it’s like a lot of responsibility to deal with. Not so much the music, I mean, sure I hate the lyrics but is what their friends listen to in school. I know that. But… Look it doesn't mean I approve of it. They need to respect woman, not see them as sex objects. Just worry, is all. Want them to make something of their lives an’, well, there are so many negative influences all around them. But yer, I do love them to bits Jess, and they know it."

  "Sounds as though it has been tough, Tam. Look hon, today has drained us all. But the boys meant no harm. At least the kids were all really happy and hey, the parents all found it amusing. Jeez, that reminds me, I forgot to say, I had to use a few of the band aids earlier."

  Tammy smiles,

  "You means plasters, Jess. No problem, I will get some ordered."

  "Whatever" Jess grins.

  The staffroom door swings open, both Jess and Tammy turn to see a red goatee appearing through the entrance.

  Robbie asking, "Has Jay left yet?"

  "About fifteen minutes back, hon. Why?"

  Grunts his approval, and is gone.

  Tammy looks bemused, "What's that about?"

  "Beats me, hon. He has been acting weird ever since he got here. Nearly bit Jay's head off earlier, guess this crap with Fuker is really getting to him."

  "Gettin’ to all of us but he shouldn't go taking it out on..."

  They both shriek in surprise as the door is suddenly flung open, smacking heavily against the inside wall. Susie comes bursting into the room, struggling to hold on to the large bundle of wooden placards perched precariously across her arms. Stops momentarily as she looks pleadingly towards Tammy and Jess for some help. It's just unfortunate that Robbie is following closely behind, carrying at least six more of the large placards, and with his vision now obscured, crashes straight into the back of her. Both Jess and Tammy grimace, hands going to their heads at hearing Susie's ear splitting scream, and can only look on helplessly at seeing her throw the placards up into the air. Susie's hand then covers her mouth in horror on seeing them crash noisily to the floor.

  "For crying out loud, Susie, will you please be careful with them? We haven't got enough of them as it is."

  "Sorry, Robbie."

  Tammy then tuts loudly as her brothers come strolling into the room, Lewis sniggering as Leroy stands shaking his head before asking,

  "Yo, dudes, what's with all the noise then? Supposed to be a library, don't you know?"

  Jess kneels down to help Susie pick them up, turning to face Robbie.

  "You care to explain what you are doing, hon?"

  He ignores her, instead looks towards the two brothers.

  "Want to do something useful, boys?"

  Leroy plays with the bum fluff on his chin,

  "There like any cash in it for us?"

  "No. But I won't tell your mum or Tammy what I caught you looking at online. Deal?"

  The brothers exchange a nervous glance before replying as one, "Deal."

  "ROBBIE, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!"

  "I meant what I said earlier, Jess, there is no way I am going quietly. Fuker and the council can go to hell as far as I am concerned. And if it costs me my job so be it, because this is all about the community we serve. Look, the library campaign group needs help and I am going to bloody well give it to them. All I am asking you to do is turn a blind eye, ok?"

  "Am never one to turn a blind eye, hon. What do you think, Tam, time to get our hands dirty?"

  The huge grin on Tammy's face more or less answers that question immediately.

  "Right, we are both on board, so what needs doing, Robbie?"

  A now visibly emotional Robbie, tears in his eyes, smiles at her warmly. Loudly clicking heels across the parquet floor announces the arrival of Jazz. She squeezes past the two coy boys into the now packed staffroom, a perturbed looking Jess staring straight at her.

  "Hey hon, look if it isn't a stupid question, is anybody actually staffing the library?"

  Jazz anything but discreet as she winks cheekily at Tammy,

  Sure Jess, Jamie is upstairs to cover the lunches, and I kinda guessed Tammy would want to go on the counter with him. Right, sis?"

  Tammy blushing, her brother’s start giggling.

  Leroy looks across at his sister, now smirking

  "Ohhh, Tammy, did you here that? Your looovely, sweet Jamie is here."

  Lewis mockingly wrapping his arms around himself in a loving embrace,

  "Ohhh, Jamie, you are so sexy... Kiss... Kiss... Kiss."

  Leroy puckers his lips,

  "Yes, Jamie, your blonde hair is so looooovely. And those blue eyes are soooooo sexy. I am soooooo yours. Take me, Jamie, take me."

  With the exception of Tammy, the whole room explodes into laughter.

  A niggled, and now extremely embarrassed Tammy, storms out of the room, bellowing over her shoulder,

  "YOU ARE ALL SO BLOODY FUNNY!"

  A guilty looking Jazz running along behind her.

  Robbie, still spluttering with laughter, attempts to compose himself and then stares over at Jess and the boys.

  "Right, we need to get these placards ready for Fuker's visit. And we will need at least fifty, right Susie?"

  "Reckon we needed a hundred but guess fifty will have to do. Deirdre is collecting the t-shirts and bringing them straight here. The others will meet us outside Luigi's cafe at 2:30pm."

  The two boys look somewhat surprised, Lewis asking,

  "What, like mum is
going to be here?"

  "Well, yer, she is like doing most of the organising. Got a lot of support at the hospital and a lot of the nurses that ain’t working are coming with her. The members of the Borrington local resident association will all be here. And reckon there will be loads of others turn up, library users an’ supporters, you know. Got over a thousand names down on the petition an’ all now, but doubt we’ll get all of them here. Even so, Deidre reckons could be near on two hundred, which will be seriously cool, right?"

  Lewis and Leroy high fiving, Lewis then kneeling down to help Susie, grinning at her.

  "Man, that is soooooo coool. Can't believe mum didn't say anything to us though."

  A grinning Jess glances across at Robbie,

  "So, what did you find them looking at then, hon?"

  "Nothing important, they were, hmm, shall we say just researching human biology for a science project."

  Robbie winks at the two smiling boys,

  "And a deal is a deal, right boys?"

  Both flash their teeth in huge grins, Lewis agreeing,

  "You got that right, dude. So what we gotta do anyway?"

  Having handed out some thick black markers, and explained to the brothers that they're to help Susie write on the placards, Robbie hesitates on seeing the mischievous look in their eyes.

  "You understand what to do, right boys?"

  Lewis nods enthusiastically,

  "Sure, Robbie, we ain’t stupid dude."

  "I know that. But you stick with the exact wording Susie tells you to use, and follow her instructions to the letter. No arguments, okay?"

  Leroy mockingly salutes him,

  "Sir, yes, Sir. You can trust us... Sir."

  Both boys burst into laughter, Robbie looks despairingly across at a chuckling Susie as he exits the room.

  With two placards placed in front of them, and markers at the ready, Leroy asks,

  "So what you want us to write, Sus?"

  A red marker in hand and now deeply engrossed in drawing a huge no entry symbol on the first of the placards, Susie mumbles a barely audible reply,

  "Hands off my library Fuker."

  With a confused expression on his face, Leroy leans into Lewis and whispers,

  "Did I hear her right, brov?"

  "Guess it is like a protest, brov, an’ you heard whad Robbie said, gotta do as she says. Reck if that's whad they want us to write, well, swear it's cool by me."

  The pair of them high five each other, and get to work writing out the message on the placards.

  Pushing Jazz's consoling hand away, Tammy snaps at her,

  "Did you have to go saying that in front of that lot? What was you thinking?"

  Jazz drops her eyes towards the floor,

  "Look, I am sorry. I wasn't thinking. I swear I didn't mean for that to happen."

  "We have been trying to keep it quiet, you know? What's Jamie going to say if he finds out? And you know we ain’t like allowed to get involved with colleagues. Fuck, Jazz, what if Scrawl ever found out... You know he has struggled to find work since graduating, an like working eighteen hours a week in here doesn't like, bring in much money, does it?. He will be so pissed. Swear, I could so of done without this right now."

  "So what exactly are you saying, sis? Are you two an item?"

  Tammy pauses at the bottom of the stairwell, turns slowly to face Jazz,

  "We didn't want anybody to know, but yer, been going out for near on five weeks now."

  Shrieking with delight, Jazz hugs a still miffed Tammy tightly.

  "That is fantastic, Tam. I am so pleased for you. But why didn't you say something sooner, girl? Thought we shared everything."

  Tammy shrugs her shoulders, and breaks into a huge smile.

  "I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I felt kind of guilty. Thought you was, well, like sweet on him an’ all."

  "Me?" A still smiling Jazz shakes her head. "No way, got my eyes on..."

  Despite the inquisitive look in Tammy's eyes, she decides not to continue with that particular revelation.

  "Look, we all knew you liked the guy but swear to you nobody has any idea that you two are involved, so chill already."

  Tammy links her arm through Jazz's as they make their way up the stairs.

  "You sure about that, Jazz? I really like him and so want to make a go of this, you know?"

  "Am positive sis. If I had no idea, then there's no way any of the others would. We all thought you fancied him but that was it. Swear it... But..."

  "Hmmm?"

  Jazz sniggering,

  "That why you keep booking afternoons off, is it? What with him finishing at 2:30. So spill, what have you two been getting up to? Hot raunchy afternoons, hmmm?"

  A poke in the ribs from Tammy's elbow and the pair of them are both giggling as they reach the top of the stairwell.

  "Come on, girl, have you two like, gone all the way?"

  Tammy blushes, but her face lights up with a huge grin anyway,

  "A woman has got her needs."

  "You are so bad, girl."

  "Seriously though, Jazz, he was like, so sweet, and shy, and so caring you know? And I could so tell he had never gone that far with anybody before. Swear to you sis, it really was soooo good. And am telling you, the ground really did shake for us."

  "For real?"

  "Yer, for real. He rents a tiny converted flat in Caulston and the walls are like wafer thin. Can hear everything. Anyways, that first time we, well, you know." Jazz smirks as she nods, and tells Tammy to carry on," Well, the woman in the bedsit next to him had her washing machine on a fast spin. Swear the whole damned building was like vibrating."

  Both try to subdue their laughter as they walk out into the main lending library.

  19 Stir Crazy

  Gabriel tosses the last of the letters back into the drawer and slams it shut, having worked his way through six months’ worth of junk mail and utility bills just to kill some time. He reaches for the now vibrating mobile. A text from Frenchy. He smiles to himself as he reads through it. Guess it's no surprise that they've already allocated him a new cell mate or that the poor sod is now receiving the usual Frenchy welcome. And a reminder to visit Cheryl soon. Is not sure that he wants to involve anybody else in his mess, but he is curious as to what she's like. Maybe he'd even suggest that she should go visit Frenchy in prison, he knows what that would mean to him. Or at the very least, write to him. Still doesn't understand as to exactly what Frenchy had meant by describing himself as guilty for as long as Butner was breathing, but he's convinced that Frenchy shouldn't be behind bars. He nearly drops the mobile on hearing a loud ‘ding dong’, a text message on the spare mobile. The one with Butner's sim card safely inserted inside. Now what? Grits his teeth as he reads it, not as though he needs reminding that the diamonds must be collected tonight. His blood runs cold as he then reads through the remainder of the text.

  'Found the runt with the loose gob, secateurs put to good use, the fingerless shit won't be using a phone again. But be a real shame to invite Frenchy in for some gardening practice so you get the Ds or its snip, snip. Savvy? Let me know immediately you have them & will send you the delivery address. Don’t let me down son. Enjoy your freedom.'

  Resisting the temptation to throw the mobile against the wall, he drops it on the sofa and grabs a beer. The sooner he can wash his hands with that evil bastard, the better. But that said, he knows Butner will always have this hold over him. Ray knows how close him and Frenchy are, that he'd never intentionally let his friend down. And whether Frenchy knows it or not, Butner would happily make an example of him just to prove a point. Gulps down the beer as he thinks back to the previous morning.

  6:30am. Gabriel wakes to find Frenchy pacing backwards and forwards across the cell floor.

  "Hey man, you okay?"

  "No, I am bloody well not okay. Look, you need to get yourself ready. Just... Just can't believe this is it. That you are walking out that door for good."

&n
bsp; Heaving himself wearily from the top bunk, Gabriel lands heavily on his bare feet and grabs Frenchy by the arm.

  "Look, man, as far as I am concerned, we ain’t never gonna lose touch. You hearing me? I owe you so much, brov, and am never gonna forget that. You an’ me are bro's for life. Are you hearing me?"

  Gabriel is left struggling for breath as Frenchy launches himself towards him. Surprisingly strong arms suddenly wrap around him, hugging him tightly. Tears flowing down Frenchy's cheeks.

  “But what the hell am I going to do without you? Never cared this much about anybody in here. Never.”

  “You will be fine, man. Look, you got the mobile, yer? Got my number saved to the sim, so you ever need anything, well, you just text me right? Will always be there for you, I swear it.”

  Frenchy starts howling dramatically and leaps on his bunk.

  “Look, I been summoned so gotta go talk to Butner but...”

  As a distraught Frenchy wails even louder, Gabriel decides it sensible to finish the conversation later.

  Strolls slowly along the narrow gangway, prisoners backing off, nobody making eye contact. He has a reputation of being connected now, and so the other cons tend to avoid him. Well, that and the fact that he had been left with little option other than to retaliate violently when threatened, the more vicious the response, the more respect he'd earned. Not that he felt it was something to boast about, anything but, just the law of the jungle as Frenchy had put it. And his reputation had certainly been enhanced following the incident in the showers. Shudders as he thinks back.

  A heavy session in the gym with Dwayne, saturated in sweat, smells bloody awful, and needs more than a quick wash at the sink. First time he's risked using them and despite Frenchy's warning, assumes they'll be safe enough after three weeks in the hole. All fine to begin with, grabs his towel, joins a small queue of prisoners, a short delay and he's walking into the open showers. Seem safe enough. Feels totally relaxed as he enjoys the sensation from the strong jet of water washing him clean. Eyes closed, humming to himself, he fails to notice that the other cons are gradually disappearing from the room. Or that the other showers are falling silent. Several minutes later and he's alone, or so it seemed. A hard slap across his buttocks from a wet towel soon has him realising that he's made a serious error of judgement. The shower suddenly shut off, wipes the water from his eyes. Gulps loudly, and struggles to control the panic on suddenly finding himself surrounded by five guys, all fully dressed strangers, and all seemingly looking to teach him a lesson. A muscular, shaven headed guy with a brown goatee is standing closest to him, long and skinny fingers clasping hold of the towel that had slapped him seconds before, a mocking expression plastered across his face as he eyes him up and down.