Awakenings (Intertwined Souls Series Book 4)

by Mary D. Brooks

  “Alright, I’ll be right back.” Eva rolled away and off the bed. She padded to their luggage, knelt down, and took out the syringe that she had packed in her toiletries. Zoe stared as Eva put the syringe under her armpit. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m warming it up.” Eva looked at the syringe for a long moment. “I want you to relax, alright?” She lay down alongside Zoe.

  Zoe looked down the length of her body at Eva’s hand. She scrunched up her face and closed her eyes.

  With her free hand, Eva cupped Zoe’s face and brought her lips down for a passionate kiss, which turned into two, and then three, until Zoe was moaning. She moved her kisses across Zoe’s jaw and down her neck and Zoe slipped one hand into Eva’s locks to hold her closer.

  Eva lavished Zoe’s body with exquisite attention and eventually Zoe squirmed and groaned.

  “Spread your legs wider for me, love,” Eva said in Zoe’s ear. She teased a small earlobe with her tongue. “Alright. Ready?”

  “Uh huh,” Zoe exclaimed.

  Eva slipped a hand under Zoe’s neck and the back of her head and kissed her. She thrust her tongue past lips that parted for her. She gently pressed the syringe against Zoe, not pushing it in but holding it in place. “Okay, love, I’m going to insert it, alright?”

  “Take it out!”

  “Did I hurt you?” Eva dropped the syringe on the bed and rolled off Zoe, who was looking quite pale. “Zoe, talk to me. Did I hurt you?” Eva asked as she cupped Zoe’s cheek.

  “Uh…no, you didn’t hurt me.” Zoe buried her head against Eva’s chest. “I got scared.”

  “It’s alright.” Eva pulled Zoe to her and kissed the top of her head. “It’s alright.” Zoe sniffed. “It’s different from what you are used to.”

  “It’s big. I’ve seen what a penis looks like. I’m an artist, but um...”

  “Seeing a penis and having one inside you are two very different things.”

  Zoe gazed up at her with raised eyebrows. “Is it like that with a man?” she asked in a quiet voice.

  “A penis is larger than this syringe.” Eva pulled Zoe tightly against her body. “It will be different.”

  “How different? I mean just now I got scared because that thing is huge, but how different?”

  “What do you love about making love to me?”

  Zoe grinned. “Everything. Your softness, the feel of your hands, your kisses, your breath against my skin. The way you say my name. Everything.”

  “Tommy is a well-built young man. He’s muscular and his chest will be hard. His hands are rougher. He will smell differently.”

  “How long does it take for him to do his business?” Zoe asked, making Eva smile.

  “It will take him minutes to do it. Men don’t take their time. At least that’s been my experience.”

  “I don’t know how you could have sex with a man,” Zoe muttered, and then looked into Eva’s eyes apologetically. “I’m sorry, Evy, that just came out wrong.”

  “It’s okay, love. I don’t know how I did it either. I had no choice but to have sex with Erik.”

  “How did Mengele Junior know you were having sex?”

  Eva sighed and closed her eyes. “He watched us the first time.”

  Zoe stared at Eva, shocked. “He what? Oh, Evy.” She cupped Eva’s face and kissed her. “That evil son-of-a-bitch bastard.”

  “He was pleased with himself that his treatments were working as they should,” Eva replied softly. “He found out that Erik was visiting me and caught us a few times kissing.”

  “So he spied on you?”

  Eva nodded. “I was in the normal part of the hospital by then and was taking daily visits outside with Tommy, and Erik would show up and spend some time with me.”

  “So you had to have sex with him in front of your uncle?”

  “No. Tommy told me back in Larissa that my uncle approached him to tell him that he approved of Erik seeing me and wanted to make it easier for us by giving us a private room.”

  “Ugh,” Zoe exclaimed, thoroughly disgusted. “I’m so sorry I brought this up now.”

  “It’s alright, Zo. I know you wanted to ask. Actually I was waiting for you to ask.”

  “You were?”

  “Yes. I thought you might ask when we talked about Erik, but you never did.”

  “I did, but didn’t.” Zoe stroked Eva’s cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, and it made me jealous that this man was married to you for two years.”

  “You of all people can ask me anything.”

  “Oh.” Zoe nodded. “Next time you want me to ask something, can you give me a nudge?”

  Eva smiled. “I’ll try and remember that.” They gazed at each other for a long time before Eva kissed Zoe tenderly on the lips.

  “You thought Erik didn’t know and believed you were cured. He obviously knew you weren’t, yet he played along. Why did he marry you if he knew you weren’t in love with him?”

  “He was in love with me. To him it was real, and he may have thought that all I needed was the love of a good man and everything would be right.”

  “Was it…um...”

  “Terrible. Yes, but I tried to convince myself that this was the right thing to do. I had to get…used to it.”

  “That must have been so horrible for you. Did any part of it get easy?”

  “No.” Eva sighed as she intertwined her fingers with Zoe’s. “It never got easy. It was something that I needed to just endure.

  “You know how I’ve been reading that book and some of the drawings—”

  “I know. I saw it on the bed stand. Some of the positions in that book would break my back if we ever tried them.” Eva chuckled. She gazed at Zoe for a long moment.

  She ran her hands up Zoe’s body, stopped at her face, and gently brushed her fingers across her lips. She smiled, and captured Zoe’s mouth with her own. “I love you so much,” she said breathlessly as they parted.

  “Um.” Zoe looked into Eva’s eyes.

  They laughed.

  “I was reading the book about how…um…a man…how did you endure it with your bad back? It looks awful,” Zoe said.

  “It can be,” Eva replied truthfully. “Some days I just had to stop myself from screaming because he would be on top of me and I felt trapped. The tenser I became, the worse it got, and the more painful it was physically.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “I can’t bear the thought of anyone dominating me like that.”

  “You let me be on top when we make love.”

  Eva tenderly touched Zoe’s face and smoothed her thumb against her cheek. “I love you. I trust you and you don’t dominate me—you love me.”

  “Erik was trying to dominate you?”

  “Most of my sexual experiences with men haven’t been pleasant, and men like being on top. They like it that way or…”

  “Or?”

  Eva shook her head. “That’s the part you don’t want to hear about, love. Have you read the part about oral sex?”

  Zoe screwed up her face in horror. “That’s just so…Ugh…I did, but I couldn’t figure out why that was pleasurable to him and you. It looks disgusting.”

  “You get used to it. Like everything else, it was to be endured.”

  “Did you…um…orgasm with him?”

  Eva looked into Zoe’s eyes. “You’ve been wanting to ask me that for years, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, but I never knew how to ask without sounding like a bit of a jealous shrew.”

  Eva smiled. “You do sound jealous and I like it.”

  “Forget the ‘bit’ jealous. I am jealous that he had you for two years.”

  “Erik never had my heart, love. You’re the only one who has all of me. Did I come? My body responded to his touch, but more often than not I would fake it. To me it wasn’t love making—it was just sex.”

  “Was Erik blind?”

  “No.” Eva shook her head. “Sex is very quick with men. Something I was most grateful for.”


  “How in the world did he believe you weren’t faking it? Didn’t he ever look into your eyes when you were coming? Didn’t he see that your whole body spasms or that you couldn’t talk for a few minutes?”

  “No. He didn’t know what to look for. He didn’t know what you know about me.”

  “Show me.”

  Eva looked at her, surprised. “You want me to show you how I faked it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Alright. You have to be Erik, but don’t try and kiss me or I won’t be faking anything.” Eva giggled as she reversed their positions so that Zoe was straddling her.

  “How am I not supposed to make love to you?” Zoe asked rhetorically as she slid her hand down the soft skin of Eva’s stomach and grinning as she swirled her fingers with a teasingly light touch into the curls between Eva’s legs. Eva bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly. Zoe watched Eva’s face intently.

  “You’re not making this easy,” Eva said in a calm voice.

  Zoe gently entered Eva, who arched her back and moaned loudly. Zoe stopped with a puzzled expression on her face.

  “That was the fakest moan I’ve ever heard. You are such a bad actress. Erik was blind and stupid,” she muttered. “Evy, open your eyes for me.”

  Eva opened one eye and grinned.

  “I just can’t believe how you did that. Did you just stop your body from reacting?”

  “It’s very hard to do with you on top of me, Zo, but yes.”

  “How?”

  “Years of experience,” Eva mumbled as Zoe rolled off her and settled next to her.

  “Your eyes haven’t gone that gorgeous deep shade, and your body isn’t responding to anything. How could he not feel that you were faking that?”

  “He was pleasuring himself. He thought I was responding to him.”

  “Are all men so self-involved when they make love?” Zoe asked.

  “In my experience, yes. Reinhardt was the same. Let’s not go into what Reinhardt was like.”

  Zoe opened her mouth then shut it.

  Eva gave her a sad look. “My experiences were more about domination, fear, and control. Tommy won’t be like that. It’s not about control with him.”

  “I don’t ever want to find out.”

  “I sure hope you don’t. Erik did what men do and pleased himself.” Eva pulled Zoe close to her. “I cheated on him by not giving of myself to him.”

  “Did you at least like him?”

  “No, not really. I didn’t want to be with anyone. I was in too much pain. It was one more thing I had to do to get out of that hospital.”

  “You agreed to marry him.”

  “Hmm. I did. I couldn’t see a way out. It was just this awful life ahead of me. I could submit to a marriage with a man who wasn’t going to kill me, or going back to Aiden where I knew I wouldn’t survive another round of treatments.”

  “You chose submission.”

  “Yes. It was better than being tortured, and I could endure the sex. When Erik was sent to the frontlines, my life got easier. It didn’t last long. My stepfather ordered me to Paris and then to Larissa, and that’s where my choices improved.” Eva took Zoe’s hand and kissed it.

  “I don’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you, Hans Muller, for being such a controlling paranoid bastard.” Zoe gave Eva a quick kiss. “What happened to Erik?”

  “About six months before heading for Larissa, Erik was sent to the Eastern Front.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “Whilst I was recovering from the bomb blast in Paris, I got word he was killed. Erik wasn’t a soldier—he was a young doctor.”

  “Hm. Is it wrong to say good riddance?” Zoe said quietly.

  “Yes, but I know what you mean.”

  “I’ve never really asked you, but what was Erik’s surname?”

  “Hoffman. I was Eva Hoffman.” Eva smiled when Zoe scrunched up her face. “You don’t like it?”

  “It sounds strange.”

  “You like Muller better?”

  “I don’t like either of them. I like Lambros. Eva Lambros sounds much nicer. Why didn’t you use Hoffman in Larissa?”

  “Muller didn’t want me to,” Eva replied with a tiny shrug.

  “What a strange man,” Zoe said. She got out of bed.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I just remembered I brought some scented oil from Larissa.”

  “Right. What are you going to do with it at this hour of the night?”

  “Give you a massage,” Zoe replied as she rummaged through their luggage. “Found it. You have a choice, m’lady. Which shall it be? Rose scented or lavender oil?” She returned to the bed.

  Eva pointed to the lavender and rolled over onto her stomach without a word.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Eva stood at the window and watched the twinkling lights of the sleepy borough as she dried her wet hair from her bath. She brushed her long hair while staring at the full moon that was still up in the pre-dawn sky as the city started to rise. Her city—it was her home. She was in Berlin after a twelve-year absence. The city had been changed forever. The scars were everywhere. The war had left indelible marks on its façade, but underneath it was the same. The same but different. Just like her.

  Eva blinked at the realization that she was like this city. Despite everything that had happened, she was still who she had always been, but she was scarred by the experiences of the past. The scars would eventually heal, but they would be with her in her psyche.

  Eva looked down at the bed where Zoe was sprawled on her back, fast asleep. Red-gold hair fanned out like a halo on the white pillow. Zoe’s face in slumber was relaxed, and her full lips were just slightly parted. A white sheet was pooled around her legs—Zoe was notorious for kicking off any bedding during the night. She was naked except for the emerald opal necklace that rested in the hollow of her throat.

  Eva sat down on the bed and watched Zoe sleep. “I am the luckiest woman alive,” she whispered as she tenderly kissed Zoe.

  Zoe stirred. Her eyes fluttered open.

  “Good morning.” Eva kissed Zoe.

  “Good morning.” Zoe took Eva’s hand. “What were you doing?”

  “Watching you sleep,” Eva replied. “Sleep well?”

  “Um, yes, but you didn’t.”

  “Huh?”

  “You were talking in your sleep again.”

  “Oh.” Eva looked down at the bedspread. “Was I telling off my grandmother?”

  “No, not this time.” Zoe brought Eva’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “You were talking to Willie.”

  “Oh.”

  “I wonder if Willie is here in Berlin.” Zoe smiled. “You may be wrong.”

  “He didn’t make it, Zo. I just know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What for? About Willie?”

  “Last night…about Erik.”

  “Oh. Erik is part of my past. It’s just what I had to do.”

  “I know, but reminding you about it, that’s just poking another wound. You tossed and turned, you talked and—”

  “No, it wasn’t about Erik. I couldn’t sleep because I was excited to be home, not because of Erik or Willie.” Eva smiled. “I’m home.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, quite sure. I didn’t realize how much I missed home until we got here. It’s familiar, it’s—”

  “It’s home,” Zoe said.

  Eva kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I’ve also been thinking about that syringe.”

  “Ugh. What about it?”

  “If we put some lubricant on it, it can—”

  “Evy?”

  “Yes, love?”

  “I don’t want to think about it and I don’t want it inside me.” Zoe scrunched up her face in disgust. “If we talk about it, I’m going to get anxious. I don’t want to see it.”

  “How are you going to…” Eva stopped talking when Zoe rolled away and put her hands over her ears. “Z
oe—”

  “I don’t want to hear it, Evy. When the time comes for that thing to happen, then we can practice.”

  “But—”

  “I don’t want to think about it and I don’t want to have that thing inside me.”

  Eva sighed and nodded. “Alright,” she said quietly as she sat on the bed and tried not to let the idea of Zoe and Tommy invade her mind.

  “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”

  “A little bit,” Eva responded softly. “We will find a way. I’ll just have to get you to the point where you don’t notice that a giant syringe is in you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about a syringe or penises…penis...what is it called if there is more than one penis?” Zoe giggled.

  “Trouble.” Eva responded. “You don’t want to find out.”

  “Ugh, why are we talking about that? Yuck.” Zoe replied and patted Eva’s belly. “I think you need to eat some breakfast. You didn’t eat any dinner.”

  “I am hungry.”

  “Well, go downstairs and have some breakfast before your grumbling belly gets louder and wakes up the neighborhood. I’ll go and have a bath and join you soon.”

  Eva cupped Zoe’s face and brought her lips down for a passionate kiss, which made Zoe moan. They parted and looked at each other until Eva’s stomach rumbled, causing them to start laughing.

  “Go feed yourself, Mrs. Lambros,” Zoe said as Eva let go of her and left the room reluctantly to go to the kitchen.

  Eva wandered down the hallway and down the steps into a large kitchen. She looked around and saw the refrigerator in the corner. A pot was on the boil on the stovetop. She leaned over to see what was boiling and then padded to the refrigerator.

  Eva opened the door and contemplated what to eat. Hands encircled her waist. She screamed, took a step back, and crashed into someone behind her.

  “Oh, Father in the heavens. Oh, Virgin Mary,” the woman screamed.

  Eva turned around and stared astonished at Katarina, who engulfed her in a tight hug and nearly picked her off her feet. Eva’s heart was beating so loudly she could hear the whooshing in her ears and she tried to free herself from Katarina’s grasp, but she couldn’t, which only terrified her more.