Find A Way Or Make One

by Kelley, E. C.

  9

  “You can never be what I want. At best, all you could ever be is a cheap imitation.”

  Wyatt

  Wyatt3

  What the hell is going on? After I was unceremoniously booted from the club, I decided to wait around outside; hoping to get a chance to talk to Kylee and explain about Catherine and Sable. I knew that Sable had totally screwed whatever goodwill I might have had with Kylee, but I wasn’t going to give up.

  I guess I had been out there waiting close to two hours when I see Kylee and the front man from Jagged Pill, Ethan or Evan or something like that, walk out the side door and make their way to a waiting limo. I stand off in the background to see if Kylee is going to leave with him. I hope to hell she is not, because not only would that make tracking her down and forcing her to listen to me more difficult, I don’t know if I could handle the images my mind would conjure up of them in the back of the limo.

  But no, Kylee didn’t leave in the limo. She and Ethan or Evan talk a minute, hug, and then he gets into the limo and left. Alone, thank goodness.

  As I made my way over to where Kylee was standing, I saw another man approach her. Thinking that she was in trouble, I quickly stepped out of the shadows and made my way over to offer her some protection, only to once again be reminded that there could be whole libraries of information dedicated to what I don’t know about my girl.

  Before my eyes, Kylee starts speaking rapid Arabic; when did she learn Arabic? After what I could only assume was a disagreement, Kylee hands the man her phone. After he finished typing something in her phone, she quickly held a cab and left.

  I am so puzzled by what I have just seen I let Kylee hop into a cab and leave before I can pull my head out of my ass and do anything. Fucking great! I just let Kylee get away again! Well, Cale and the guys haven’t left yet, so I will just wait and follow them when they leave. They have to be staying near Kylee, or maybe even with her. I settle back in the darkness, hoping that one of the guys will leave soon.

  And I wait. About two hours later, I see Sunny and the redhead he was in the club with earlier, leave. I followed them for a minute, but when they got to the car and she was driving, I knew they were going back to her place. If he was taking her home to his place, he would be driving. Sunny and I had always tried to go to the girl’s place, but if we had to go to ours, we always drove. A random hookup is less likely to remember how to get back to your place if you drive.

  So again I stepped back in the shadows and prepared to wait. After another hour I am almost ready to pack it in for the night, when Cale, Chip, Crow and Ken come storming out of the club. They all looked like overcome with concern and worry. I made the connection instantly; Kylee! Each of these guys felt fiercely protective of her and their obvious concern and worry, added to the shady interaction I saw outside of the club, I knew in my gut she was in trouble. As I hailed a cab I watched the guys hail one of their own. When I told the driver to follow their cab, he looked at me like I was insane, but for the right amount of cash, he did it anyway.

  It didn’t take long for me to recognize where we were going; the warehouse. Questions kept bombarding my head. What had Kylee and that man been talking about before she left; where had she rushed off to and what did she do when she got there; and how in the hell did she know fluent Arabic? I tried to push these questions out of my mind, but they lingered on. With each question that I had to push to the back of my mind, I was reminded that there were so many things that I never knew about Kylee.

  When they reached the warehouse, I jumped out of the cab, too impatient to make change; I pulled out a massive wad of dirhams and asked him to wait. All the guys but Crow got out of the cab. As I watched the cab disappear, more questions began formulating in my mind. Soon after Crow left, the guys made their way into the warehouse. I stood outside; waiting to see what was going to happen.

  In no time at all, another cab pulled up to the side of the warehouse. I saw Ken and Chip rush out; Ken holding the exit from the warehouse open and Chip opening the door on the cab. About thirty seconds later, Cale came out carrying something or someone that I assumed was Kylee. Watching Cale come out of the warehouse with my girl in his arms caused a whole host of conflicting emotions inside me to come warring to the surface. The two strongest emotions were concern and jealous rage. Concern for the fact that Kylee was physically unable to walk out on her own and jealous rage because it was Cale, not me, giving her the help she obviously needed.

  I followed them for about twenty minutes, until they pulled into a driveway, and then into a garage. Without thinking about it I handed the cabdriver a fist full of cash and made to get out, when I was stopped by another cab rushing down the street. As it pulled to the curb beside the house that Cale, Ken, and Chip had taken Kylee into, I watched Sunny and Crow jump out of the cab, Sunny carrying a small camouflage duffel bag. They both rushed up the stairs, taking two or three steps at a time. Once they reached the door, they knocked and rushed in.

  I got out of the cab, and after thanking the driver once again, I purposefully walked to the sidewalk that led to the door they had all entered. As I got closer to the door more of the inside lights came on and I could hear several voices but they were too low to make out. Taking a deep breath, I knocked at the door and waited. A million questions seem to explode in my head all at once. What is wrong? Is Kylee hurt? What was she doing tonight? How did she get messed up in this type of work? Will the guys let me talk to her? Will Kylee talk to me, even if the guys let me talk to her? All these questions were swirling around in my head. I was so preoccupied with trying not to listen to them that it surprised me when the door finally began to open.

  When Crow opened the door, saying that he looked frustrated would have been a laughable understatement. I could tell that he had run his hands through his red hair several thousand times, his eyes kept darting to whatever was behind the door, and he was already starting to close the door when he was half way through his first sentence to me. “Ok man, I don’t know what has given you the idea that you are either needed or wanted…”

  This time I was able to pull my head out of my ass in time to put my foot out to stop him from completely closing the door. Crow was not happy to have to continue talking to me, and I was not happy after he had tried to cut my foot in half with the door. We eyed each other up; the tension radiating between us so thick you could almost see it. “Look man, I get it ok. You guys have taken Kylee under your wing and feel that you have to protect her. While I applaud the sentiment, you don’t have to protect her from me. I would never hurt her.”

  Crow busted out laughing. “Man, you are so damn full of yourself. If you have always been this way I don’t know how Kye let you live this long. First; we haven’t taken shit under our wing. Kye is a friend and has saved each of our asses in one way or another more than once, been involved in more covert ops than you can imagine and always came out on top. So she doesn’t need anyone to protect her physically. Second; I know that you might not think you would hurt Kye, and you might not; physically. But you have hurt Kye in the past, and that is something none of us will let you do again. She deserves a hell of a lot better than some dumb rich boy playing house with her while he is playing soldier. She deserves everything; and until you either prove that you can give it to her, or get your ass to stepping, we will all be here to keep you in line. Comprende?”

  I rock back on my heels; he told me. Probably more than what he was trying to tell me too. Yeah, it was evident that the guys weren’t going to let me hurt her again, and as pissed as it made me that they felt she had to be protected from me, I was still glad that she had friends in her corner that would go balls to the wall for her. She not only needed that, but the girl I knew and fell in love with certainly deserved that.

  But there was more in Crow’s words than just the typical macho warning. With his continued stress of Kylee’s name now being Kye, I started to understand that Kylee was no longer the sweet, easy to p
lease girl I knew before. Before, she had never asked for too much of my time, had been happy for anything I gave her. She had always tried to help me see the best in everyone and every situation. She had been my light in the darkness, my saving grace, and I had thrown it all away. Instead of trying to be a good little soldier, I should have been trying to be Kylee’s light in the darkness; her saving grace. But I hadn’t and now the Kylee that I had known before, the sweet girl full of innocence was gone.

  She was now Kye, and Kye was a strong woman, a woman who would not let anyone walk over her, and gave as good as she got. She had to be in order to demand that kind of dedication and devotion from a bunch of cynical, wise ass Seals. It wasn’t until that moment that I finally understood just how bad I had hurt Kylee, I mean Kye. I had never really given her the chance to be a real part of my life. Yeah, we had done all the girlfriend and boyfriend shit like dates and sleepovers, and I knew that she had loved me, and while I did love her and still do, I hadn’t allowed myself to realize the full impact that she could have had on my life and now I think I shortchanged both of us. Not only did I not give us a real chance to survive the fallout of the debacle with Mathers and Catherine, but I didn’t give myself a chance to fully experience her love. The truth is that even though I knew I had to have her back, I know that deserve her, and that is pretty hard to take. This doesn’t sit well with me at all. The irony of me not being enough for her after what I told her seven years ago was a bitter pill to swallow.

  After being confronted with that truth, some of the fire left me. The fire and righteous determination that I would have her was gone, but my need to have her, all of her, both Kylee and Kye was remained. I knew in my heart, and deep within my soul that would never abate. I put my hand out in a pleading gesture as I told Crow what is my heart.

  “Crow, I know you don’t know me, and I know that you think I don’t deserve her, and you are so right, I don’t. But she is my EVERYTHING. I don’t care if she is now being called Kylee, or Kye, or even is she wants to be called Queen Bitch, as long as she will be my Queen Bitch I will be happy. Seven years ago I fucked up. No, I didn’t cheat on her, but I didn’t give her the place in my life she deserved. I have paid for my mistake over the last seven years, when I was forced to merely exist. Seeing her today was the first time in seven years that I have been able to really breathe without the two ton weight of regret on my chest. All I am asking for is a chance. One chance to give my girl the life, love, trust, and any and everything else I should have made damn sure she had the first day I met her.”

  The shock on Crow’s face when I finished saying my piece was almost comical. After a second or two Crow started shaking his head, “I knew you couldn’t be so dumb and backass backwards as to actually cheat on Kye. I mean damn, look at her, she is probably the most gorgeous female that I have ever seen, and her heart only makes her more so. She is good man, good down to the fucking core. She would do anything for anyone. Hell that is why she had to pull a fucking knife out of her own shoulder tonight.”

  Stunned, all I could do is stare blankly at him a minute. When I finally pulled out of my shock, social niceties were the last thing on my mind. “What the ever-loving hell are you talking about? How did Kylee, I mean Kye, get stabbed?”

  Crow backed up and ushered me inside. As he motioned me to sit down in the recliner in the living room he walked into the kitchen and came back with two beers. As he set down in the other recliner he opened the beers and gave me one. After he took a swig, he looked down the hallway, “When Kye was leaving the club tonight an old friend approached her to ask for her help. His sister was sold to an Armenian sex trafficking ring by her bitch of a husband. Kye decided to go in and get the girl by herself, but you know how missions go when you haven’t had enough time to do proper recon; FUBAR doesn’t even begin to cover it. When Kye got there she told her friend to go and create a distraction. She had figured that there would be other girls, and had made contingencies to get them all out. Knowing Kye, she had her entrance and exit planned down to the second, but she didn’t plan on their being two rooms of people waiting to be sold; one for males and one for females. Getting the boys, and the fact that the sister wasn’t with the girls caused her to not be able to fully utilize her plan. When she went to get the girl, the head of the organization hadn’t been properly neutralized. There wasn’t enough time. After she thought she had neutralized the target, she went to get the girl. While her back was turned, the target threw a knife that landed in her shoulder. She still managed to get everyone to the warehouse safely. There she fainted. We got the call and went to the warehouse, where she had regained consciousness and to say she was pissed would be vastly understating things.”

  Oh my God! Darlin’ Princess had been stabbed. I had just found her again, hadn’t even had the chance to get her back yet, and I find out that I could lose her, hell! What was she thinking going off to do something like that on her own? Running my hands through my hair, I let out a frustrated groan. “What the hell was she thinking going in alone? Why didn’t she get back up? Surely she didn’t think she could do it on her own?”

  Crow looked at me like I had lost my mind. “You don’t get it do you? I don’t know who you think she is, but Kye is the strongest and most stubborn person I have ever met; man or woman. And she is fiercely loyal. She would lay down her life for her friends and family in the blink of an eye. Hell, she even…”

  Whatever Crow was about to say was cut off by Cale, who chose that moment to walk in and go to the kitchen, but stopped as he saw me. “What the fuck are you doing here asshole? I thought you would understand after tonight you are not wanted around here. And Crow, keep your damn mouth shut. You weren’t even out of Buds training when Peru went down.”

  I don’t know if it was the stress of tonight’s events, knowing that Kylee had been stabbed, or just that Cale acting like he had more right to be in Kylee’s life than I did, but whatever it was, it made the little bit of control I had on my emotions snap. I jumped up and stared Cale in the eyes. “What the fuck is your problem? I may have fucked up seven years ago, but I love that woman in there and I am going to do my damnedest to get her back. So unless you are going to tell me you have already staked your claim, I suggest you quit this shit and quit it now. I don’t want to kick your ass, but I will if I have to.”

  Cale snarled at me. The fucker actually snarled at me as he said, “seven years ago you fucked up and went on your merry fucking way, and because you run into her again you think she should let you back in her life? You must be on some powerful shit, if you think that anyone is going to let you hurt her again.”

  At that, we both began to stare each other down; the tension between us almost visible. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever. The stare off was finally broken when Sunny yelled at Cale, “I need the coin. I need it red and I need it now. Oh, get some more triple distilled Vodka.”

  Cale glared at me a second longer then went into the kitchen. He goes to the stove, and I immediately see him pick up a metal stick with a rubber handle off of an opened stove eye. He turns around to open the fridge and grabs a bottle that I assume is the triple distilled vodka. As he walks out of the kitchen I see that the metal stick actually has a fifty cent piece welded to the end, and it is indeed red hot. He walks in to the bedroom and closes the door.

  I get up and make my way to the door to see what the hell is going on. I feel Crow’s hand pull at my shoulder. “Man, in that room is one place you don’t want to be if any of that verbal diarrhea you spewed from your mouth was true. You know that Sunny is good, hell he was your Swim buddy in Buds. Besides, if you go in there, Cale will go after your ass, and fixing Kye is the most important thing right now.”

  Taking a deep breath, I slowly nod my head. I move to sit back in the recliner, when I hear Sunny yell. “Shit girl, I have got the meds right here, please let me give you this shot. You know that you are safe here with us.”

  What in the ever loving
hell is going on in there? Forgetting about all the reasons why I shouldn’t go in there, I walk to the door and slam it open. I should have listened to Crow.

  Kylee, I mean Kye, was lying on her stomach on the bed with her shirt off. Ken is holding a white cloth to her shoulder, but the blood is quickly turning it red. Chip is handing Kye the bottle of vodka that Cale brought in. After taking a swig, Kye turns her head to look at Sunny. “No fucking dice. You know how I feel about that shit. I can’t and won’t do it. This vodka will numb it enough.” Kye takes another long swig and hands Ken the bottle.

  Sunny shakes his head. After grabbing the stick by the rubber handle, he walks over to Kye. Chip sits on Kye’s back to hold her in place, but really there is no need. She never once flinches, just stares off into space.

  After Sunny is done cauterizing the wound, he pores a little of the vodka on the wound. Again she doesn’t flinch. She just lays there staring into space.

  About that time, Cale looks over to the door and narrows his eyes at me. After nodding his head to the door I slowly walk out, with Cale, Chip, Ken and Sunny closely behind. I start to go to the recliner that I had been sitting in previously, then stopped. “Ok, clearly this is going to be one hell of a long night. I hope you boys don’t mind, but I am going to get a beer. Could I get any of you one?”

  Each of the guys said they wanted one, so when I went to the fridge, I just grabbed the six pack of Heineken and brought it with me to the living room. I grabbed one and sit back in the recliner; and then we wait.

  Sunny checked on Kye about every thirty minutes. About four hours later, sounds started coming from behind Kye’s room. At first it was just sounds of Kye tossing and turning on the bed. I was initially worried about Kye reopening her wound; but after Sunny told me that wasn’t likely to happen I tried to calm down. Suddenly, Kye’s voice could be heard, repeatedly moaning, “No, no, no. Travis, don’t do this! No!”