Wings of Fire (The Legend of Hooper's Dragons Book 7)
Page 7
“No!” I cry out. “That’s not true!”
The four come closer. It is true. Accept it. Come to terms with your crime. Feel at peace. Acceptance is the only way.
Then, I’m back in the dragon birthing barn at Draconstead. I’m on my straw bed, it’s late and I’m tired but Scamper curls himself against my tummy, adding his warmth to my thin covering. His breathing is almost a purr and when I stroke his fur, it makes me feel good as if I were wrapped inside a soft blanket that keeps out the cold and the harshness of my world.
Scamper may be small but he’s a giant of a friend because he accepts me just the way I am, flaws and all. How could I ask more of a friend?
I pull Scamper even closer to feel his warmth but then I’m ripped away from my memory of Scamper to face the glowering faces of my family again. A feeling of overwhelming guilt pours down on me as if I stood under a waterfall of cold, hard blame. My whole body curves in a stooped bow, like a branch bending with the gale. Under the unyielding weight I feel my knees start to buckle.
“I didn’t mean to,” I whisper. “I was so scared, I didn’t mean to run.”
Excuses, my family retorts. Pitiful excuses even for a child. There is only one way you can redeem your worthless soul.
“Yes,” I murmur, “I am worthless, everyone thinks so. I’ve been useless since that day and I will always be of no value and of no use to anyone.”
Yes, my family nods, you are worthless, you couldn’t even save your own family. If you couldn’t do that, how do you expect to do anything of real importance in the world?
“You’re right,” I answer. “I shouldn’t be here. It was wrong to choose me as the Gem Guardian. I’ll let the company down just as I let my family down. I may even get them killed just as I killed you.”
The dark is pushed away by a golden light and I find myself sitting behind Cara on Wind Song, my arms wrapped around Cara’s midsection. We’re sailing along under a tapestry of stars. The night air is cool, but Cara’s body is warm. Cara’s long strands of auburn hair flow over me but I don’t care. She and her hair smell wonderful, of lavender and honeysuckle.
I could stay this way forever, so close to Cara, feeling her warmth, her goodness flow through me, lifting me up and away from the darkness of hate.
The darkness blasts away my memory of Cara. You tried to lay the blame on others, my father hisses and points at me, but it was you all along. You who deserted us and left us to die horribly. It’s time you realized there’s no one else to blame, Hooper. There’s only you.
I feel as if all my willpower drains out of me into a dark puddle on the floor, leaving me cold, empty. “Yes, it was me all along, there’s no one else to blame. Just me. What do you want me to do?”
You must join us, that’s the only way you can save yourself. Accept your guilt, become one with us and you’ll finally have peace in your soul.
“How do I join you? By dying?’
Just let go of your mind, Hooper . . . just let go . . .
“Let go of my mind,” I nod, “just let go . . .”
Darkness nibbles at the edges of my thoughts, then begins to press, harder and harder, squeezing out what little willpower I have left.
Suddenly, a thought, a golden thought seems to wiggle itself through the darkness. Remember, whatever they attempt, you must fight it with all your heart, might, mind, and strength. Focus on good thoughts and memories, those that have brought happiness, even joy into your life. Whatever you do, don’t chase after dark thoughts for those are the ones that the shades will use upon you to turn your will to theirs.
The darkness presses hard again and suddenly I feel myself go rigid. Chase after dark thoughts . . . That’s precisely what I’ve been doing! Focusing, I reach deep into my memories and one very special comes to mind and a new memory surfaces. An extraordinary memory.
Cara and I lie on Golden Wind’s back, staring up at the night sky. The stars are so bright and close that it seems we could reach out and pluck one out of the heavens like you pluck a grape off the vine.
Her melodious laugh flows over and in me, pushing back the dark. I laugh and smile at her, feel her hand slip into mine. Her touch is as if a star burst inside my head, its light splays outward, chasing away the shadows, the ugly, vile thoughts.
I could stay this way forever, my hand in Cara’s, her touch so soft and warm it’s as though my hand melts into hers and her warmth spreads clear to my heart.
“Hooper?” comes a voice. “Hooper, can you hear me, lad?”
My eyes blink open and instead of staring into Cara’s lovely apple-green eyes, I’m peering into Phigby’s wrinkled and bearded face. His brow is beaded in sweat as if he’d just run a league, but his eyes are alert, concerned. He gives me a smile. “Ah, you’re back. For a moment there, I thought I’d lost you.”
I feel both cold and hot as I recall the savage images of my family and the fire. My heart’s pounding as I swallow and say, “For a moment there, you almost did.”
Phigby comes closer, his eyes concerned. “Pretty bad?”
It’s not cold in the cavern but I shiver anyway. “It was horrible, Phigby, the things they put into my mind.”
“They put in your mind, Hooper? Are you sure about that?”
I think about it for a moment and then shake my head. “No, you’re right. They were my own thoughts. They’ve always been there but I managed to push them aside, or thought I had, long ago.”
“Yes,” he replies in a soft, understanding tone. “Your deepest thoughts, those you keep to yourself. The ones you can’t bear to share or think about but still, in moments of despair or in the deep of the night they come unbidden.”
“Yes,” I answer. “All of that and more.”
Studying his face, I abruptly realize why his brow is so beaded in sweat. “You know. You’ve experienced it, too.”
His sigh is long, deep. “Oh yes, Hooper, I’ve had to fight my battle. Fortunately, like you, I was able to withstand the onslaught, though not easily.”
“Not easily?” I snort. “An understatement if I ever heard one.”
He gives me a wan smile. “Perhaps so, though in here the Shadow Flames are a hundred times worse than what we experience outside.”
“Shadow Flames,” I nod, “dark, hurtful, yet bright in a way. An apt name whether in here or outside.”
“Indeed. I doubt if there are very many people in this world who haven’t at one time or another experienced such feelings—the Shadow Flames of our thoughts, Hooper. The pain of past actions or words that burn in our minds with guilt and remorse.”
“How very true,” I whisper.
Phigby peers at me, his expression expectant but he doesn’t press me. I take in a deep breath, let it out, before I meet his eyes. “When I was younger, back at Draconstead, I had the same nightmare, over and over. It was so horrible that there were nights, even though I was exhausted from work, I fought against going to sleep.”
I can feel my heart thumping against my chest. “I finally stopped having that particular horrid dream but just now, the shades, they found the deepest, darkest place of me and brought it out.”
Licking dry lips, I go on. “I’m standing outside our burning cottage. I can hear my family screaming for me to help them, to save them, but I can’t move. I’m so scared, so afraid that I’m frozen in place and don’t do anything to help them.”
My heart is thumping so hard, it feels as if it will rip apart. My breath comes hard and fast, “I left them to die, Phigby, ran away and I’ve hated myself ever since.”
I look up into Phigby’s bearded face. “I’m really a coward, you know. Only a coward would let his family die without trying to save them.”
Phigby’s face softens and he lays a gentle hand on my shoulder. “No, m’boy, you are no coward. You’ve proven that you aren’t on too many occasions during our journey.”
Hot tears come to my eyes and I blink them back. “But the one time I needed to be brave, Phigby, I fail
ed. Failed so miserably that my whole family perished right in front of my eyes.”
Phigby draws in a deep breath and lets it out in a deep sigh. “No lad, you didn’t fail your family, you did exactly what they expected of you, exactly what they wanted and needed for you to do.”
“And what was that? To run away, save myself and not them? That’s what a coward would do.”
“No, Hooper, your mother pushed you through that window and told you to run because that’s what she and the rest of the family wanted, no, needed for you to do. They knew that if you lived and fulfilled your destiny then their sacrifice would not be in vain.
“Your mother was acting for your father, your brother, your sister, and it was an act of supreme love, the highest form of love that one can manifest, to give up your life so that another may live.
“Do not let the shades convince you that their sacrifice was in vain, that they did not love you, that they did not want you to live. No, Hooper, it was quite the opposite and when you think of your family, try not to go to that horrible night, but instead, remember their laughter, their smiles, working and playing alongside them as families do.
“That’s how they wish you to remember them, not the dark lie that the shades would have you believe.”
I wrestle with his advice for several moments before I say, “I’ll try, Phigby, but it’s not easy.”
“No, the chains of guilt are never easy to break. But you must, for these chains are not yours to bear. Open the window to your heart, Hooper, and let not just those happy memories come back but the feelings that go with them, too. Fill your mind with those thoughts, and never, ever, think that your family didn’t love you or that they blame you for one instant.”
I nod slowly. “Like I said, Phigby, I’ll try.”
He gives me a brief smile. “Trying is good, doing is even better. Now, we must push on, our friends need our help and we must be swift.”
“I’m ready to move on, just not sure I’m ready if the shades come back again.”
“Ah, but you are. You managed to chase them away on your own and now that you know their foul game, you’ll be stronger the second time.”
“The second time? So they will come again?”
“Most assuredly. But when the shadows appear next time, you’ll be ready.”
I glance around but all there’s to see is blackness. “I guess I held us up, we didn’t move.”
“What are you talking about, Hooper? We never stopped walking.”
My eyebrows go up. We were walking this whole time? I think. Dream-walking? I’ve heard of people doing that, but I don’t think I’ve ever done it before.
“That’s how,” I whisper to myself, “they got Pim and Tavin to follow them.”
“Eh?” Phigby asks. “What did you say?”
“I was dream-walking, Phigby,” I state. “That’s how the Shadow People got Pim and Tavin to follow them.”
Phigby nods as he tugs at his beard. “It would appear so.”
“But why do they do this? What’s the purpose?”
“Have you not heard the expression, ‘misery loves company’? They are so full of hate that they desire that all should feel as they do. These may be shadows, but unfortunately there are a good many people on Erdron that still wear bodies of flesh and bone and are caught in the Shadow Flames of their own minds, unable to do the things that will release them from the trap.”
“Which is?”
“Turn to the light, live a commendable life, do good to others, and most importantly, at some point in your life be able to forgive yourself.”
“Forgive yourself? I’ve heard of forgiving others but not yourself.”
Phigby slows his steps as he says, “An absolute necessity to move forward and away from the dark, Hooper, remember that.”
I think for a moment before I slowly say, “I will, Phigby, count on it.”
“Now,” he grunts and motions ahead, “we’ve got to hurry, find our companions before they’re trapped, too. Fortunately, we’re almost there.”
“We are?” I look around but even with the light of the Phigby’s orb, all I see is blackness everywhere.
“Look closer straight ahead,” he directs.
I take a step to stand next to him and peer at where he’s looking. It takes me a moment, but then I see what he’s staring at. Ever so faint, I can just make out what seems to be an army of shadows that move within the blackness. The more I watch, the rounder my eyes grow.
“There must be hundreds,” I whisper.
“More than that,” Phigby replies, “and they’re trying to stand between us and our companions. That’s how I knew which direction to take. It seems that the closer we draw to our companions the thicker the shadow things became as if they were trying to form an impenetrable barrier.”
“How do we destroy them? Get Pim and Tavin out?”
Phigby shakes his head at me. “We can’t destroy them, Hooper. Like light, shadows will always be with us. The best we can do is to never create them, or if we do, shut them out of our minds.”
“But they’re giving way,” I point out. “Letting us through.”
He points upward to the spinning orb. “To the light, yes, but not to us, I assure you.”
After a swallow, I ask, “Uh, how long will your light last?”
He shrugs just a little. “I’m not sure. I’ve never used this particular, uh, formula before.”
“You’ve never used it before,” I reply in a small voice. “That’s just terrific. Like I said, this just keep getting better and better.”
CHAPTER SIX
“All right,” I reply, “then what do we do against these things? How do we get Pim and Tavin back?”
“We go forward, of course,” Phigby answers. “No matter the shadows we face here, or in our minds, we go forward.”
Phigby strides ahead, with me right behind as I’m not about to lose my guide and wander aimlessly in this shadow world.
I’m not sure how far we’ve gone when I feel as if I’m again wading through the thick muck of the Wailing Swamp. My legs grow heavy and it’s not long before my breath becomes fast and raspy as I strain to lift first one foot and then the other.
“Phigby,” I gurgle, “what’s happening? I can hardly lift my feet.”
“The shadows,” he rasps, “they’re fighting back. Like all evilness, they don’t want us to move forward and return to the light.”
“Wonderful,” I gasp, “how much farther?”
His breath comes in ragged tremors like mine. “It can’t be that far now,” he grunts, “or they wouldn’t be trying so hard to stop us.”
“It’s getting harder and harder to move,” I pant.
“You accomplish few things of worth in life, Hooper,” he growls, “without work, sometimes hard work.”
One step turns to two and then to three, each feeling as if I carried Golden Wind on my back. “Just think about taking that next step, Hooper,” Phigby urges. “And about our friends. Are they,” he wheezes, “worth the effort, the pain?”
“Of course,” I rasp as I take another step and then another.
Suddenly, there’s a moaning wail that speaks of loss and misery and echoes over and over before it dies away. Then, we’re free of the morass. “Now, Hooper,” Phigby urges, “faster while we’re free of the filth if but for a moment.”
I run alongside Phigby and his bobbing light keeps pace. “Phigby,” I huff, “in the past, did you always defeat your personal Shadow Flames?”
His steps falter for a moment before he picks up the pace again. “No lad,” he replies, his voice low and raspy, “to my eternal sorrow, I have not.”
I can hear the sadness in his voice and for some reason, it actually makes me feel a little closer to him knowing that even the great Phigby has had his moments of remorse and guilt. “I’m sorry, Phigby, but in a way, that actually makes me feel a little better, knowing that I’m not the only one who hasn’t.”
“I
doubt,” he huffs, “if there are any on Erdron, now or in the past, who can honestly declare that they don’t have such feelings or experienced a Shadow Flame or two in their lives. Now, let’s save our breath for we must move even swifter and our time grows short.”
As he speeds up, he declares, “The good news is that our friends are very close.”
I struggle to keep pace with him but fortunately our sprint is short before the light starts to circle over a spot just in front of us. At what I see, I smile wide even though my chest burns, and my throat feels like I’ve swallowed a handful of hay.
Sitting on the ground in front of us, their backs to each other, eyes closed, are Pim and Tavin.
We hurry over to them, Phigby bends over, his hand outstretched as if to wake them before he slowly straightens and shakes his head. “They sleep too deeply for a touch to waken them.”
He turns to me, his voice concerned but firm. “We have no choice. You must use the light of the healing stone, Helsestein to bring them back from the shadow world.”
“But—” I begin to protest before Phigby raises a hand to stop me. “I know, Hooper, truly I know the consequences, but we have no choice. There is no other way.”
With a little nod to him, I hold Galondraig high, reach out with one hand, spread my fingers so that I’m touching both Pim and Tavin and then exhort, Vald Hatta Sasi Ein! Power to this One!
Galondraig bursts into a pillar of light, brighter than even Phigby’s floating orb. I can feel the gemstones’ power flow down my arm, through my hand to my fingers and then into our sleeping companions.
For a long moment, nothing happens and then, almost together, Pim and Tavin jerk their heads up, their eyes flash open and they suck in quick, deep breaths. I hold my fingers where they are for a few more heartbeats, before, as the light from Galondraig dims, I pull away.
Phigby kneels in front of Pim, his face close to hers. “Pim?”
She nods, and I can see tremors run through her body. “I’m all right, I think.”
“I think you are, too,” Phigby answers before he eases over to Tavin. Tavin doesn’t speak, but waves a limp hand, indicating he’s all right. Both are shaken and weak and need help to stand.