A Brand New Ending

by Stephanie Rolls

  “Everything OK?”

  “Yeah, just thinking about my dad,” I sigh.

  “I bet you wish he was here huh?” Braeden asks.

  I nod. I go to speak but Dr. Harris enters the room, a nervous look on his face. I instantly feel on edge.

  “Are you ever going to leave Phoenix’s room?” he asks Braeden, who looks at me and smiles.

  “Not until she gets sick of me,” he says. There is silence for a moment.

  “Well, son, I’m afraid I am going to have to order you to leave.”

  I shake my head. “No. Whatever you have to tell me, you can say in front of him.”

  Dr. Harris nods his head slightly. “You’re mother’s gone, Phoenix,” he blurts right out.

  A lump in my throat forms as I try to hold back the tears. Why am I even surprised? I knew. Maybe it’s the confirmation.

  “And she’s not coming back,” he adds. “I promised her…I promised her I would take care of you…”

  A wave of anger flows through me. Did she think I was just a fucking puppy she could pawn off onto anyone she liked?

  “That’s wonderful,” Braeden says, his eyes shifting from Dr. Harris to me. “She can live with me. I can keep her safe.”

  My heart skips a beat.

  “No,” Dr. Harris says sternly.

  Dr. Harris walks away from the door to foot of my bed. “I know that you are of age Phoenix, but I promised your mother your safety. And in your…condition…I don’t think you moving in with Braeden would be a great idea.”

  Woah. I hadn’t even agreed. I’m still trying to process everything.

  “That’s bullshit,” I hear Braeden say under his breath.

  Dr. Harris turns to Braeden. “If you are going to be a fucking child about this you can leave.”

  I inwardly gasp. I’ve never heard Dr. Harris swear before. Braeden doesn’t respond as he crosses his arm. He turns his attention back to me.

  “As I was saying, moving in with Braeden, I fear, will be a mistake. He is your first…” Dr. Harris pauses. “What are you exactly?”

  I almost laugh. I hadn’t even really thought about it. Braeden’s eyes find mine as he waits for an answer.

  “I don’t really know,” I say as I bite my lip. “We care for each other…” I utter almost as a question. Braeden smiles. Dr. Harris just nods.

  “OK,” he says. “And you care for her?” he asks Braeden.

  “I do,” Braeden says without hesitation.

  “Then I feel what’s best for Phoenix is that she lives with me.”

  A spike of nervousness runs through me. Braeden stands up abruptly.

  “I need to speak to you…outside,” Braeden says sharply.

  Dr. Harris nods at me and follows Braeden out of the room.

  Chapter 33

  Braeden

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I say loudly when we get outside of Phoenix’s room. He grabs my upper arm and squeezes it.

  “My office, now.”

  I don’t say anything until we reach the confines of it.

  “Are you fucking kidding me!” I repeat, my anger stronger.

  “I demand a little more respect than that, Braeden. When did you become so goddamn hot headed?”

  I don’t answer. To be honest I didn’t even know. I take a deep breath before continuing. “Do you really think her living with you is a good idea?”

  My dad leans his body against his desk, crossing his arms. “Yes, I do.”

  I shake my head.

  “What? You think her living with you is such a good goddamn idea?” he says sharply. “Please tell me how her living with you and that fucking disgusting thing you call a roommate is better. Tell me how her staying home alone at your house with a male stranger while you are at school is a good idea.”

  I go to open my mouth, but he doesn’t let me talk.

  “I understand that you have feelings for her. You wouldn’t have been involved last night if you didn’t, but you need to start thinking more with your head than your heart, Braeden. You could have died last night. Do you even care?”

  “No,” I respond. “As long as she is OK, that’s all that matters.”

  “You’re being blinded by lust,” he says.

  I laugh out loud.

  “No one even gets it,” I say shaking my head. “Would you even believe me if I told you it’s not like that with her?”

  The anger in my father’s face diminishes.

  “So you care for her on a deeper level?” he rhetorically asks.

  “Yes.”

  “And you would do anything to help her along, do what’s right for her?”

  “Yes.” I begin to get what he is saying.

  “Phoenix has lost both her parents, Braeden. While Elaina may not be deceased, she feels that she can no longer be in Phoenix’s life. She doesn’t think she deserves her daughter anymore. Walking away is her way of punishing herself although I’m not really sure I agree with her. We need to do what’s right to help her along.”

  “OK,” is all that I could utter.

  “It may not be the situation you want, but with her at my house I can keep an eye on her. Things are going to tough for a while, Braeden. She has suffered both physical and emotional trauma. This situation is going to force her to talk about things and face things she didn’t want to before. Things aren’t going to be perfect.”

  “They never are.”

  He stands up from the desk and walks over and puts his arms around me.

  “You know I love you, son,” he says. “You’re scaring the hell out of me. But, I’m proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I mutter into his shoulder. “I love you, too.”

  ~

  I leave my father’s office, immediately heading back to Phoenix’s room. I’m frustrated dragging this fucking IV stand around and when I see no one is around I start to pick at the tape, slowly removing the needle from my arm and ditching it in the closest red “sharps” box hanging on the wall. Pushing the door open I find her, her face immediately lights up and I can’t hold back the smile that comes across my face. And to be honest, I don’t want to.

  I can’t explain how Phoenix makes me feel or why I feel that way, but anytime I am near her it feels as though there is an invisible string between us. She instantly makes me happy. Her smile disappears, a look of worry coming across her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she blurts out.

  I’m confused. What else could she have to apologize for? “And what are you apologizing for now?”

  From the nervous look that spreads across her face I realize my response may have been harsh. I bow my head.

  “Shit. I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”

  Phoenix seems to compose herself again.

  “I owe you an apology for everything, Braeden,” she says only above a whisper. “I should have believed you and I didn’t. I didn’t even give you a chance….”

  I walk over to her bedside, my need to comfort her growing, but I hold my hands back. I open my mouth but shut it again.

  “I had no right to even question who she was. It wasn’t any of my business.” Now I can’t hold back. I pick up her hand gently in mine.

  “I never want to hurt you, Phoenix….” I start. “And seeing that I had caused you pain was one of the worst feelings I had ever experienced in my life.”

  Her brown eyes stare into mine as she listens to every word.

  “I don’t know what told me to come after you but I am so happy that it did. Seeing you unconscious on the floor is something I never want to see again.” I swallow the lump on my throat. “I wanted to kill him.”

  She lets go of my hand as reaches up to brush the edges of my gauzed shoulder.

  “I still want to,” she mutters. My face becomes serious.

  “He will never come near you again, that I can promise you.”

  Her face falls serious also.

  “You can’t save me from everything, Braeden. Things are going to ha
ppen that are out of our control.”

  “Not if I can help it,” I say quietly.

  I take a deep breath.

  “Apology accepted.” I smile, her returning one.

  She starts to gnaw on her bottom lips, her eyes shifted down.

  “So what do we do now?” she asks.

  I smile.

  “Whatever you want to do,” I say softly.

  I pause before continuing.

  “You know that you don’t have to stay here. You are over 18. If there is some place you would rather be…”

  Her eyes snap up to look at mine.

  “I don’t want to go anywhere, Braeden. Wherever you are is where I want to be.”

  I think my heart does a back flip. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, hearing you say that.”

  She gives me a sly smile, her fingers playing in and around mine.

  “Can’t describe how amazing this feels,” she speaks. “I’ve never had anyone care for me like you do.”

  “That’s a shame,” I respond quickly. “You deserve so much more than that.”

  “Do I?”

  I lean over her so that our faces are close but I make sure to do it gently, afraid that she might retreat from my touch.

  “Yes,” I say softly as our eyes are locked on each other.

  We hold our position and I can tell she is nervous, but I want her to make the first move. I made the mistake of pushing it on her the first time and I won’t be doing that again. I can feel the heat of her breath on my face, its oddly intoxicating. But I hold still. I start to count the number of my heartbeats when I suddenly feel force against my lips. I hold back the smile, my hand coming up to cup her cheek. I start to move my lips against her, the waves of ecstasy flowing through my body. After a second, her lips start to move in unison with mine. I’ve kissed lots of women, but it’s never felt quite like this. I don’t know how long it lasts, but I refrain from sticking my tongue in her mouth, fearing that may be too much. I then swear I feel her moan in my mouth, and it’s the most incredible fucking turn on I have ever heard in my life. She must have realized it too considering she pulled her lips off mine, her hands coming up to her mouth.

  “That was incredibly involuntary,” she whispers.

  I just smile at her.

  “That should have been our first kiss,” I say, almost ashamed of myself.

  A light smile comes across her face.

  “I thought that was.” She laughs.

  Seconds later, a nurse comes bounding through the door.

  “I’ve got some great news! You two get to go home today!”

  Phoenix gasps.

  Chapter 34

  Phoenix

  Home?

  Where is home?

  My body was in a state of bliss after that kiss and I silently curse the nurse out for interrupting. The idea of leaving this hospital scares me. Almost the entire time I have known Braeden, I’ve always been confined to some sort of hospital room. Would he still want me when we leave here? Will I still be the same person? Would he? This thing between us is was different. But how well do we really know each other? A million things start to run through my mind, sending me into a silent panic attack. I feel Braeden’s hand slip into mine, almost as though he can sense my uneasiness. I give it a light squeeze and a probably not-so-convincing smile.

  “Oh, and Miss Harper, Dr. Harris would like to speak to you in his office whenever you are ready.”

  Braeden shoots me a glance, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I’m assuming this is about what he and his father discussed earlier.

  “OK,” I respond.

  When she leaves again, Braeden and I return to our bubble. I shift in my bed, swinging my legs over until they reach the coldness of the tiled floor.

  “Are you OK?” he asks, a concerned look on his face.

  I can’t help but smirk. He is always so worried.

  “You’re going to have a heart attack at such a young age if worry about me all the time.”

  He clutches his chest.

  “I might have already experienced one.” He laughs.

  My smile falls from my face. Braeden’s hand comes up to my face, his thumb rubbing over my cheek bone.

  “Don’t frown, Phoenix,” he says softly. “I love it when you smile.”

  And just like that I am happy again.

  “Well, I’m going to go take a shower,” I say softly. “And then go see your father.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  I begin to panic and I hear Braeden laugh.

  “To my father’s office.” He laughs. “Not to the shower.”

  “Oh,” I respond. “I think I want to go alone, is that OK?”

  “Of course, my Seraph,” he utters.

  My heart begins to race for the millionth time since I have met him.

  “What did you just call me?” I ask softly.

  “Seraph.” He smiles. “It’s another word for angel.”

  “Oh,” I say, feeling the burn in my cheeks.

  “Too soon?” he asks hesitantly.

  I shake my head.

  “No, I like the way it sounds.”

  “Me too.” He smiles.

  Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I lean against it and let my heart come down to its normal rhythm. Did he just call me his angel? I reach up and pull on my lip with my finger and get lost in thought. When I am finally able to peel myself off the door, I reach up and pull off my hospital gown, running my fingers over the bandages wrapped around my upper body. Reaching my fingers up slowly I start to unravel them, the black-and-blue skin unveiled. I run my fingers over the delicate skin and wince slightly. But something inside me changes. I am pretty used to seeing cuts and bruises on my body so often that I hardly notice them, but this time is different. They are there because he saved my life.

  He came after me. I still feel like I may wake up from this dream at any moment. Or was it a nightmare? The butterflies in my stomach start to dance just thinking about him. And that feeling scares me sometimes. I had never been in a relationship before and I fear that I might not be what he needs. What if he wants something that I can’t give him? What every man needs.

  I grip the counter of the sink, the walls around me becoming blurry, tingling sensations running through my body. Using the sink as support I lower myself onto the toilet lid and concentrate on breathing in and out of my nose. I fight to have this feeling leave my body, not wanting to be crippled by it anymore. I am safe now. Peeling myself off the toilet, I walk over to the shower knobs, my knees still feeling a bit weak. Turning on the shower I step inside, the hot water feeling incredible. It’s been the first time I have been able to take a shower by myself, the past few times have been observed by a nurse. I grab the bottle of shampoo and I stick my nose up at the smell. It’s so…medicinal. Squirting some into my palm, I go to reach up to put it in my hair, the pain radiating through my body.

  “Fuck,” I say loudly, clasping my mouth shut.

  Within seconds I hear a knock on the door. The figure doesn’t have to speak for me to know who it is.

  “I’m fine,” I say out loud.

  “Are you sure?” he asks.

  I laugh to myself.

  “Yes, I promise,” I shout out.

  I stand there for a few more seconds until I don’t hear anything and resume my washing. Slowly. I don’t know how long I am in the shower, but when I look down my fingers are pruney, a sign that it has probably been too long. Stepping out, I wrap a towel around me, still telling myself to move slowly. I hear a knock on the door again and I roll my eyes.

  “I’m fine, Braeden,” I call out.

  I hear a female laugh. “It’s Chelsea.”

  Turning around I open the door open enough for her to slide in. Held in her hands are clothes and more wraps and tape. She works quickly and before I know it I feel like I am wearing a straight jacket again. Holding the clothes out to me I pick one up at a time and put them on, t
hey are incredibly feminine. She must have noticed my confused state.

  “Dr. Harris sent me out to pick some things up,” she smiles.

  My heart jolts. “Thank you,” I say.

  “Of course my dear,” she responds.

  There is a moment of silence.

  “They are both pretty incredible, huh?” I ask.

  A genuine smile comes across her face.

  “I have known Dr. Harris and Braeden for quite a long time now. They are both very sweet men.”

  I can’t help but smile too.

  “And I know that you don’t know me, but I just want you to know that Braeden does care about you. I’ve never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you.”

  I can feel the fire in my cheeks starting.

  “Not since she was here,” she says quietly.

  Her.

  “I bet she was beautiful,” I utter, not really being able to stop the words from leaving my mouth.

  “Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe her. She was an incredible human being, both inside and out,” she explains. “A life lost too early.”

  I can hear the pain behind her words. It’s like it’s still an open wound when they all speak about her like that. When we finish up she opens the door and exits before looking back at me to smile. When I get through the door, I see the reason for the smile. Braeden is no longer in his hospital clothing. His body is now adorned in a white, long-sleeve, waffle-knit shirt and black skinny jeans. His body is slumped down in the chair, his eyes closed. He sleeps. We both sneak out of the room quietly, shutting the door behind us.

  “I’ll take you to Dr. Harris’ office if you want,” she says putting her hand on my back.

  I just nod my head. After we go through a series of hallways and doors we arrive to at his office. She reaches up and knocks on the door slightly.

  “Come in,” I hear from the other side.

  She pushes the door open and ushers me to enter. I spot Dr. Harris behind his desk but he immediately gets up and walks over to us.

  “Thank you, Chelsea,” he says to her.

  “You’re very welcome, Neil…I mean, Dr. Harris,” she responds, a nervous look on her face.

  I shift my eyes around, the room suddenly becoming uncomfortable. She gives me a small squeeze on my arm before leaving, shutting the door behind her. I look around his office, it very different than the one at the psychology office. There is nothing personal about this one, everything’s so white and sterile. I look back over at him and he just smiles at me.