A Brand New Ending

by Stephanie Rolls

  “Braeden…” she scolds.

  “What?” I ask confused. “I don’t like the way he was looking at you.”

  “He wasn’t doing anything,” she states.

  “He didn’t have to,” I explain. “Believe me, I know what he was thinking.”

  “So, are you just going to hide me from the entire world?” she asks laughing.

  “Yup,” I say as I fumble with the zipper on my jacket before zipping her up in it with me.

  I can hear her giggle from underneath my jacket, it makes me fucking grin ear to ear. I swear to fucking god, Phoenix’s laugh could brighten anyone’s darkest day. When I look back up I realize we have quite the audience. After a few more seconds I unzip it, Phoenix’s head poking back out.

  “If you didn’t smell so good I would have to punish you for that,” she smirks.

  “And what that might entail?” I ask, suddenly curious.

  I can see the blush start to creep up her face and I absolutely love it. The apprehensive sexual side of her is trying to break through. After a few more minutes, our stop comes and we filter off the train and up into the night air, now completely dark. We walk down the busy streets hand in hand just talking about random things, Phoenix’s fear of working at the hospital, my schooling. When we get about a block from my apartment, Phoenix stops dead in her tracks. I start to panic at what it could be but my eyes find what she is staring at.

  “Do you draw?” I ask as I watch her stare into the front window of the art shop.

  She just shrugs.

  “I guess so, just kind of doodling here and there.”

  I stare at her for a while, the admiration for the art before her apparent in her eyes. After few minutes we continue on, waiting at a street corner for the light to change. I spot something out of the corner of my eyes and I try my best to cover her body with mine before it gets to her, the wave of water soaking my entire back.

  I look down at her, her hair is soaked, my protection not serving much purpose. I try to gauge her reaction, but then she opens her mouth and a roar of laughter leaves her throat. I match her and peel myself off, our clothes slightly sticking to each other.

  “I tried,” I admit through laughter.

  The light finally changes, I grab Phoenix’s hand in mine, and we hastily make it to the rest of the way to my apartment, the cold wind whipping through our waterlogged clothes. By the time we reach my front door we are both exhausted, but then something shifts inside of me. The need for her mouth to be on mine becomes an obsession. I watch Phoenix’s chest rise and fall, my eyes finding her bottom lip gently tucked between her teeth. Her eyes then find mine, the look in them telling me she is feeling the electricity running between our bodies. Taking a step forward I press her up against the door frame, my hips pinning her. Once I press my lips to hers I feel my need being filled but, yet, I feel like I can’t get close enough. Phoenix’s hands find their way into my wet hair, her fingertips gently tugging on the strands. My left hand comes out between our bodies and I find the bottom line of her shirt, slowly peeling the fabric away from her soaked skin. I hear her gasp, making me smile against her lips.

  Kissing her makes me feel like a teenager again, everything is so innocent. Every touch feels as though it’s the first time every time. I don’t think I will ever not need it. I crave it like a vampire hungers after blood. I would cease to exist without it. My fingertips continue to travel north, finding the line of her bra. I go to slip my fingers underneath it but suddenly both our bodies fly forward, my body crashing on top of her.

  “Fuck,” I scream out.

  Once I get my bearings, I look up, seeing Bret standing over us, a grin on his face.

  “What the fuck?” I say to him, as I reach my hand out to pull Phoenix up from the floor.

  “What?” he says, a dumbfounded look on his face. “How was I supposed to know you were making out with some fucking random chick on our front door?”

  I huff, and then notice that Phoenix is staring at Bret, a mixture of hatred and fright. Bret eyes her with a look of shock on his face.

  “Whoa! You’re sleeping with suicide girl?” he blurts out.

  A surge of anger rushes through my body and I have to hold back from wanting to bounce his fucking head off the opposing wall.

  “Shut the fuck up,” I spit out as I grab Phoenix’s arm, leading her into my bedroom. After a second I hear the front door shut, happy that he chose to leave. Walking over to my closest I pull out a towel, handing it to Phoenix, a smile back on her face.

  “Thanks,” she says taking it for me.

  “Sorry about that, he can be….a fucking asshole,” I say, finding no way to make it more eloquent.

  “It’s OK,” she says softly. “It’s only true what he said about me.”

  I take a step towards her, grabbing the towel from her.

  “I never want to hear that out of your mouth again,” I whisper between us. “Do you understand me?”

  She looks up at me from underneath her eyelashes and nods. Opening up the towel I put it in her hair, massaging it gently.

  “You know what Rain calls him?” she asks.

  I almost forget that Phoenix must already know him.

  “What?” I ask suddenly curious.

  “The devil,” she says just above a whisper.

  A laugh escapes my throat.

  “Fitting,” I admit.

  Phoenix slowly takes the towel from my hands and starts to move around the room and I suddenly become embarrassed by its current state.

  “I should have cleaned it a little more,” I say as I run my fingers through the air.

  She turns around to face me, a smile enveloping her lips.

  “I like it, Braeden, it feels very…you,” she says.

  “So, I’m dark and I smell?” I ask.

  Dropping the towel she makes her way back over to me, our bodies pressed together once again.

  “No,” her velvet voice rings out. “Warm and safe.”

  I wouldn’t normally call those words extremely sexy, but coming from Phoenix they might as well be verbal porn.

  “I think I need to go take a shower,” I utter, partly because I need to cool down my skin that is now on fire, and because my wet jeans are starting to chafe.

  “Feel free to change into anything you want,” I say.

  “OK,” she says shyly.

  “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” I place a kiss on her nose.

  Walking into the bathroom I peel off my wet clothes, throwing them in the pile in a corner. Reaching into the shower I turn on the faucet, the hot steam filling the room after a minute or so. I step into the shower, the water bouncing off my shoulder blades, the grime from the dirty water leaving my skin. Grabbing my body wash I squirt some into my palm, doing the usual routine, but when I get to my lower regions it begs for some attention. Knowing that this can be done fast I wrap my hands around it, letting the body wash encase it…my hand gently gliding down its length. Just after a few pumps I can feel it’s at its maximum hardness. When I close my eyes, nothing but Phoenix floods my mind.

  I pump harder until I hear a gasp reach my ears, it pulling me out of my state of bliss. Snapping open my eyes I see Phoenix’s peeking inside the shower curtain, her body wrapped in a towel.

  “I’m so…sorry,” she says as she tries to flee but I catch her wrist just in time.

  Pushing open the curtain more I get a full view of her, her delicate ivory skin barely covered by the towel. She turns back around, her face a color of red I’ve never seen before.

  “Come in,” I say tugging on her arm gently.

  She continues to stare at me, but not at my face. I let out a laugh. I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or flattered. Dropping her hand from mine she reaches up and starts to unravel the towel from under her arm. I can’t do anything but watch. It drops to the floor in a pile at her feet, all of her exposed.

  “God, you are so fucking beautiful,” I declare, holding my hand out to
her.

  She takes it delicately and I lead her into the shower. She looks incredibly nervous so I place my hand on the side of her face.

  “It’s me, Seraph,” I assure her.

  I want to bring her into my chest but there is something in the way. She looks back down at it.

  “Have you ever, um…masturbated?” I ask her, already knowing the answer to that.

  She shakes her head.

  “Do you want to feel good, Phoenix? Do you want me to show you how?”

  She gnaws on her bottom lip and I pull her into to me, tucking myself in between us, silently telling it to behave itself. I walk us under the water so that she can get clean first. Pushing her hair to one side I expose the skin of her neck. I lean down pressing my lips to it, my need for her being fulfilled again. I hear her moan, the muscles in her neck and shoulders relaxing. Reaching out, I cover Phoenix’s hand with mine. Bringing it close to her center I put our hands between her lips, her own fingertips grazing her herself. I can feel myself harden and I’m not even the one touching her. A moan leaves her mouth and she drops her head back so that it is resting on my chest. I move our hands in a circular motion and watch Phoenix’s chest start to rise and fall rapidly.

  “Holy shit,” she breathes out, her back arching away from me.

  “Does that feel good?” I whisper in to her ear.

  I see her head nod fast, her mouth now open.

  Picking up the pace even more I feel her body start to vibrate, so I bring my other arm down against her torso, pinning her against me even more, to make sure she doesn’t fall. Putting my lips back to her neck, I plant numerous kisses, keeping my hand on hers as we circle her, but then move her fingers downward.

  “Put a finger inside you,” I say into her ear.

  I feel her fingers shift under mine until she inserts a finger and I hear her take a sharp breath. I instantly become jealous, wanting nothing more than for my fingers to be giving her pleasure. But this is about Phoenix, not about me.

  “Now curl your finger in a ‘come hither’ motion,” I tell her and I know she has listened when a loud moan leaves her throat.

  “That’s your G-spot,” I explain to her, wanting her to explore every part of her anatomy.

  I replace my finger on her as she pumps in and out, it only a matter of seconds before her orgasm cripples her and I feel her slump over in my arms. With a smile on my face I lean down, placing a kiss between her shoulder blades. We stand still for a moment, allowing her to regroup before she turns back around to face me.

  Chapter 48

  Phoenix

  Holy fucking hell. Holy shit.

  Every fiber of my being feels content. Relaxed. If Braeden wasn’t holding me right now I would melt into a puddle on the floor. I can feel my heart beating so fast that it sounds like a hummingbird’s wings. To be honest, I knew people masturbated but I was never brave enough to try it. I had definitely played in the sand box in the past, but never stayed more than a few seconds. When I knew that Braeden was in the next room naked, something inside me wanted to be with him. Needing to feel his touch. When I regain some of my composure, I feel his hands release me and I silently whine, wanting his hands on me always. When I turn around I look up at him and smile.

  “I take it that felt good?” he asks.

  “Holy shit,” is all I was able to breathe out.

  Little tingles start to fill my fingertips, my desire to touch it greatening, but I hold back.

  “You don’t have to,” he says above a whisper.

  I instantly realize that I am overreacting, my desire to make him feel what I just felt growing.

  “I want to,” I admit while gnawing on the inside of my cheek. “I just might be horrible at it.”

  A small smile comes across his face and he leans down so that our foreheads are touching.

  “Just having your hands on me feels fucking incredible, Seraph, so I can only begin to imagine what…”

  I put my hand on it, his voice cuts off mid sentence. Running my hand up and down its length, I keep my eyes on his face, watching his eyes slowly close, his head leaning back underneath the water. And then I panic, stopping my motions. Braeden’s head snaps back up, finding me in my state of distress.

  “Can…you show me?” I ask nervously.

  I feel Braeden’s hand come over mine again and his fingers mold around it, and he slowly starts to move both of our hands up and down. After a few strokes his hand abandons mine and I continue the motion, watching the muscles in his body tense up, some of the soap from before travels down, making the gliding easier. Braeden’s eyes stay on me this time and I can tell it’s making him feel good, boosting my confidence.

  “Faster,” he breathes out and I pick up the pace, the muscles in my arms responding.

  I continue at this quickened pace until I see Braeden’s eyes slam shut.

  “I’m going to come,” he says through gritted teeth and a moment later I see a white substance come out, it immediately being washed away by the water.

  When he opens his eyes again he leans down, putting his lips on mine.

  “That was fucking incredible,” he says. “Hell of a lot better than my own hand.”

  I start to giggle.

  “I love you, Braeden,” I say through laughs.

  Braeden’s hand comes across the back of my neck, his beautiful green eyes staring back at me.

  “I love you more than I ever thought possible,” he says softly. “You’ve saved me in a way that I can’t even begin to explain.”

  ~

  By the time we get out of the shower our hands are wrinkled, a towel tightly wrapped around my body again. Braeden and I return to his bedroom.

  “Let me get you some clothes to change into,” he says as he places a kiss on the side of my head.

  I watch him walk over to his dresser and I find myself watching the muscles in his back move. This man has to be a descendent of a Greek god. While he digs around for some clothes, I take the opportunity to inspect more of the room, a corkboard full of various things pinned to it. Taking a step closer I examine each piece of paper, some in his handwriting, others not. He must have noticed my inquisitiveness, his figure now by my side.

  “What’s this?” I ask, still looking at each one.

  He shrugs. “Things that I find, quotes that have meaning to me. If I have an emotional connection to something I put it on the board.”

  “That’s nice,” I respond, reading the quotes to myself in my head.

  I continue to examine them until I spot one in particular and it makes my heart stop. Reaching up, I glide my fingertips over a paper that is all too familiar to me.

  “That is one I found most heartbreaking,” Braeden says, leaning up and unpinning it from the wall. He brings it down to our level.

  “Can I look at it?” I ask, my voice shaky.

  “Sure,” he says as he holds it out to me.

  Taking it between my hands I run my fingers over the pressed pencil lines, over the shape of the heart. Tears start to well up in my eyes and I look down more, trying to hide my emotions from Braeden. How could this be? How could my suicide note end up in the room of the only person that has been able to save me? The only person that makes me feel the opposite of what I wrote inside this very note. It’s only a matter of seconds before he picks up on my mood change.

  “Seraph?” he asks, his arm touching mine.

  I look up at him, the tears now falling freely, my chest heaving slightly.

  “This is mine,” I blurt out.

  He looks at me confused, his eyebrows crunched together.

  “You’re not making any sense,” he says.

  I take a breath. “I wrote this,” I say holding it out to him. “I drew this. On the day I was going to…” I don’t have to continue on for him to understand.

  His eyes widen as he begins to catch on.

  “Where did you find this?” I ask.

  He smiles. “I like to think that it found
me,” he explains. “I was walking home from work one day and it wrapped around my leg and it wouldn’t let go.”

  My heart starts to beat again and its pace picks up. He takes the piece of paper from my hand, his eyes looking it over again.

  “Everything happens for a reason. Always remember that what’s meant to be will always find a way to come about.”

  I look up at him as he smiles.

  “My mother used to always say that.” He smiles. “It’s just more proof that we were made for each other, Phoenix, that someone has a greater plan for us than we could have ever imagined. “

  Chapter 49

  Phoenix

  I take another look in the mirror, not recognizing the girl looking back at me. My face is bright, the once-dark circles that haunted underneath my eyes are gone. The cuts and bruises on my inner arms have healed, leaving only faint scars left in their spot. Picking up my brush I run it through my tangled hair, pulling it into a high ponytail on top my head. Grabbing the small makeup bag from my dresser I dump out the contents of it, looking at each piece with a wary eye. I haven’t had much experience with makeup. I was too young to wear it when my father was still alive and my mom would never spend money on something so frivolous, as she would put it. I shake my head slightly, trying to shake her from my memory. I take time trying on the different things, reading the small instructions on each to get a sense of their intended use.

  “Fuck.” My eyes are watering like a son of a bitch as I pick up some metal thing that looks like a medieval torture device. “There is no way this thing is going anywhere near my eyelashes,” I say, tossing it straight into the garbage.

  Glancing backwards in the mirror I realize I am getting short on time. Leaning back, I grab my sweater off the bed and head downstairs.

  ~

  The ride to the hospital is silent, my nerves have taken over. I don’t know if it’s going back to this place, or the idea of the unknown, but my stomach has been doing back flips since I left the house. Neil parks the car and comes over to my side, opening the door for me.

  “Thank you,” I say softly as I exit, fixing the skirt of my dress.