Stilettos & Stubble

by Amanda Egan

  Luke spoke first. ‘I meant what I said, you know. I haven’t spoken to my father in seven years. What your mum did to you was bad, but what my father did was unforgivable.’

  ‘I can’t imagine not talking to one of my parents,’ I said, ‘although I have to admit I’ve come pretty close with my mum over the years - but my dad? No, never.’

  ‘What if he’d spent years cheating on your mum until she died of a broken heart and then got so pissed at her funeral he was caught shagging his secretary in the back garden?’

  He said this very matter of factly with no hint of bitterness but there was a coldness in his eyes I’d never seen before. ‘What then, Perce?’

  ‘Oh shit! Well yes, then I can see why you might want to cut yourself off. It still must have been hard for you though.’

  ‘You wouldn’t believe how hard. Not only did I lose my dad - I lost my house, my car and my livelihood. If you work for the family business, it’s pretty tricky when the shit hits the fan.’

  ‘Bloody hell, Luke! What did you do?’

  ‘Well it took a lot of soul searching. I was on a stonkering wage, I had a mews house in Bath and a flashy Aston Martin to drive around in. But it all seemed to be an insult to my mother’s memory. I gave it all up, left with the clothes on my back and moved to London to stay with an old Uni chum. It was the only way I could live with my conscience.’

  ‘Wow! That’s pretty admirable. I’m sure your mother would be very proud.’ I smiled at him as I realised what a truly decent guy he was.

  He smiled back, his mood lightening again. ‘Yeah well, admirable, daft? Who knows? But I know I did the right thing for me and that’s all that counts.

  ‘I sometimes thought that Daddy would die of a broken heart too,’ I told him. ‘He’s spent so many years putting up with my mother’s indiscretions but never really believing that she’d take it too far. Then, when she did, he just seemed to take it all in his stride. He’s the happiest I’ve known him for a long time right now and it’s just such a relief.’

  ‘Do you think that’s because he’s discovered that he’s gay?’

  I spluttered my wine into my hand and cursed my inelegance. Then I started to laugh. ‘Oh no, he’s not gay. My mother got that totally wrong and put her tiny little Manolo Blahnik’s in it. Her shag-buddy didn’t quite work out the way she planned and now she wants my dad back. It’s too late though, his mind’s made up and he’s filing for divorce.’

  ‘Well good for him! And I’m sorry I assumed he was gay, it’s just your mother was so convincing.’ He stopped and shuddered. ‘And scary! Boy she frightened the living crap out of me!’

  ‘Yeah, my mother has a way about her, that’s for sure. When I was a child, she used to be able to reduce me to tears with one perfectly aimed look. I was a massive disappointment to her, you see. And massive is most definitely the proverbial word there.’

  ‘How could you be? You’re a great looking woman with a personality and sense of humour to match. What more could she want in a daughter?’

  I couldn’t believe I was baring my soul to this man, and I knew I ran the risk of putting him off by drawing attention to my shortfalls, but the drink had loosened my tongue and there seemed to be no stopping me.

  ‘Oh come off it, Luke! You saw my mother - she’s femininity personified and I’m just a lumbering great carthorse. I wasn’t the dainty little bundle she expected and she’s never let me forget it.’

  Quite out of the blue, he took my hand in his and placed the softest kiss I’d ever felt in my palm. He then held it to his face and looked deeply into my eyes. It was the single most sexy thing that any man had ever done to me in my entire time on earth. If it was possible to orgasm from one solitary kiss, I was almost there - and, if it was possible to be content with dying from it, I was prepared to take my last breath.

  ‘You have absolutely no idea how incredibly sexy you are, do you Percy? You just don’t see it?

  Well, I was feeling pretty sexy right there and then, I can tell you, but I blushed, I tittered and I did my usual, ‘Oh, don’t be so silly’. Compliments were not something I found easy to accept, especially not from someone as hot as Luke.

  But if I’d thought the kiss on the hand was knee-tremblingly good, nothing prepared me for the feeling I was about to experience when he pulled me towards him for the full on version.

  Now, I’d kissed some men in my life - a few had delivered a tingle and many more had left me cold and wondering why I’d bothered. I’d engaged in tonsil tangos with some the equivalent to princes and others on a par with frogs but this? This was something else.

  Every corny line I’d ever written in my poor attempt at romance came flooding back to me. I melted, I sighed in utter contentment, I moulded effortlessly into his embrace. My life had been hurtling towards this one moment without my even knowing. I thanked the stars and planets which had collided to make this my fate. I saw proverbial fireworks in shades brighter than I ever knew existed. I was left panting and longing for more.

  So … I think you get the picture! As kisses go, it was pretty bloody good. It was a Gold medal winner and left me feeling like I’d run a marathon.

  We eventually came up for air and looked at one another with a smile. Our smiles seemed to agree that it had been good.

  They also agreed that there was no way we could leave it at that.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  For someone who was just about dead on their feet with tiredness, I did a remarkably good job of staying up for most of the night.

  Sparing the details, let’s just say it was oh so worth it!

  The last time I looked at the clock it was nudging five o’clock and, although every muscle in my body was aching, I’d never felt more content in my life. Sleeping was the last thing on my mind and yet I knew I needed to re-charge my batteries for the day ahead.

  I must have eventually dosed off because I suddenly came to with a start and realised that I was being snuggled and observed.

  Luke was looking as gorgeous as ever in the half light and he smiled at me with a ‘Morning, Sleepyhead!’

  As much as I wanted to stay cosied up to him for a possible repeat performance, I panicked. Mornings were not my strong point. My hair often resembled Zoe Wannamaker after a stint with her finger in a plug socket and if I hadn’t removed my make up (which had been the last thought on my mind the previous night) I could look like I’d done five rounds with Mike Tyson.

  I pictured all the perfect, natural looking beauties that Luke had no doubt woken up to in the past and imagined him taking one look at me and recoiling in horror.

  After a quick kiss (praying I didn’t have dog breath) I hopped out of bed with the sheet around me (God forbid he should see me in all my cellulite glory) and ran to the bathroom.

  Shit! Although my eyes were bright and my skin glowing, the reflection staring back at me was every bit as bad as I had expected. I quickly cleaned my teeth and performed a damage limitation exercise on my face and hair.

  Slipping into my least revolting dressing gown, I made two coffees and took them back to the bedroom.

  ‘Blimey, you’ve been gone so long I thought you’d done a runner on me,’ Luke said as I returned. ‘Then I remembered we were at your place so you couldn’t have done.’ He patted the bed and I went over to join him.

  He moved in for another kiss and then studied my face. I looked down, praying that he wouldn’t see the hotchpotch job I’d done on it. He lifted my chin with his finger and grinned.

  ‘Do you always wake up with a full face on? Do the cosmetic fairies visit you in the night and do a paint job?’

  I giggled and moved out of his reach to grab my coffee. ‘Don’t be so silly. It’s just … well, you know … first impressions and all that.’

  ‘We’re hardly at the first impression stage any more, are we Perce? You should just let your hair down and be yourself.’ He kissed the back of my neck and sent a ripple of tingles through me. ‘You did a pretty
good job of it last night!’

  I play-thumped him on the shoulder and soon we were a tangle of limbs in the duvet again.

  As much as I wanted to throw myself into it as enthusiastically as I had the previous night, I couldn’t help thinking that the sun was seeping through the curtains, revealing my body in a less than flattering light, and that I’d need to do a whole new repair job on myself afterwards.

  Trying to be perfect for your dream man was positively exhausting.

  *****

  We eventually conceded that we really couldn’t stay in bed all day - as much as we both wanted to. I had the club to sort out and Luke said he had a meeting.

  When I pressed him on where the meeting was and what it involved, he quickly changed the subject and pulled me in for another head-swooning kiss. It was very difficult to think straight after one of his specialities, so the conversation remained unfinished.

  I think I was carried to the club on a billowing carpet of air. I felt as light as a feather and as if I could take on the universe and win. I smiled at strangers and hummed happily to myself. If I’d been in a Disney film there would have been tiny humming birds flapping around my head and fluffy bunnies dancing at my feet. I was almost put out that the passers by didn’t join in my song and throw themselves into a spontaneous but perfectly choreographed dance routine. Luckily I managed to keep a check on myself and resisted swinging around lamp posts or jumping in the air with a practiced heel kick.

  Boy, was I feeling good!

  As I opened up The Glove I knew there couldn’t be a better day for me to make the dreaded calls. Positive Mental Attitude could go a long way and on that day I had it in bucket loads, shovels full and a whole heap in reserve.

  It was pretty fortunate for Tom that he chose that day to ring again. As I juggled with my key, the door, the post and my handbag, I took my mobile out and answered it. ‘Well, hello stranger! Good to hear from you.’

  ‘I’m sorry Percy. What can I say? When you didn’t return my calls I thought you were still in a huff with me.’

  I went through to the office, my mobile tucked between my ear and my shoulder, and threw my bag on the desk. ‘No, it’s fine Tom. Things have just been a bit manic here and I just never got around to calling you back.’

  ‘Can you forgive me? I was pretty tanked up when I last saw you and I acted like a prize berk.’

  I was in such a good mood I decided to have bit of fun with him. He deserved to suffer just a little and I was the woman for the job.

  ‘Oh Tom! Do you mean you’ve changed your mind? I’ve spent all this time thinking we’d be together forever and you’re …’ I paused and added a little sob for extra effect. ‘… you’re dumping me before we even began?’

  I was met with silence and I had to put my hand over the mouthpiece to stop him from hearing my giggling. I continued, with the saddest voice I could find - not so easy when you’re bubbling over with happy endorphins - ‘That’s it, isn’t it Tom? You don’t love me any more.’

  More silence and then. ‘Oh shit! Percy, I don’t know what to say. It would never work, would it? Surely you can see that.’

  I wasn’t cruel enough to torment him any further so I decided to put him out of his misery. ‘That’s quite right, Tom. Just a shame you didn’t think that when you were pissed out of your head and declaring undying love, isn’t it?’

  ‘You cow!’ Tom was laughing with relief and I joined in with him. ‘You complete and utter bitch! God, you had me going there.’

  ‘Yeah, well let that be a lesson to you, you great numpty. What if I had taken you seriously? You’d have been right up shit creek then, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘OK, OK. I get your point. I swear never to drink again. I clearly can’t be trusted. OK?’

  ‘Tom, I know for a fact that that’s never gonna happen but I would like you to promise me one thing.’

  ‘Anything, Perce. Anything. You name it, I’ll do it.’

  ‘Give Diana a call. Even if it’s only to tell her that you don’t think it’ll work out between you. But, please, she deserves that much.’

  I heard him sigh and then take a sharp intake of breath. ‘I liked her Percy. Really liked her. But I just know she’d be hard work. I will give her a call though, I promise.’

  He still had no idea of the trouble she’d gone through to tone down her appearance for him and I decided that he’d need to find that out for himself. ‘Just take her for one drink and see how it goes. You owe her.’

  He knew he didn’t have a short little leg to stand on. I’d made it quite clear that he needed to do the decent thing and he was too nice not to. Mission accomplished.

  I flicked the switch on the kettle and decided to put in a quick call to Mia. She’d be delighted to hear of my night of passion and I had no doubt that she’d instantly consult her diary to arrange for us to go there for dinner. She was way too nosey to leave it too long before she checked Luke out. I knew she’d be impressed - I really had hit the jackpot!

  ‘Perce, hi!’ she answered in the first ring, slightly breathless. ‘Jo Jo, take your finger out of the doggy’s mouth and come here for a wipe. Sorry, Percy, we’re at the park trying to burn off some energy and Jo Jo is indulging in a little canine dentistry.’

  ‘I’m in love, Mia.’ As soon as I said the words, I knew it was true. There was no doubt, no maybes and no concerns about doing the right thing. Any relationship I’d ever had in the past seemed like a dress rehearsal. This was the real thing.

  ‘Bloody hell, Perce! That was quick! Jo Jo do not share your ice cream with that dog. They’ve got germs. Come here now!’

  I went on to bring Mia up to date and I think she got the gist, despite the chaotic interruptions which came with being a mother.

  I found myself wondering if I’d ever have my own little darlings to keep control of and ruin every telephone conversation I was ever likely to have. I grinned soppily to myself. Any offspring which Luke and I produced would be positively Amazonian and the thought tickled me. Then I found myself hoping we’d only ever have boys. I couldn’t inflict my genes on a girl, I’d never be forgiven.

  ‘You’ve got it bad, haven’t you Hun?’ Mia asked as I heard her trudging breathily across the park, no doubt glam and gorgeous in her skinny jeans and Hunter wellies. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve started thinking up baby names already?’

  She knew me so well and I let out an embarrassed tut but didn’t answer.

  ‘OK, what’s his surname, we need to decide which names go with it.’ Mia loved her role as mum but I knew she could sometimes get lonely fending for the kids and longed to have an adult conversation whenever she could.

  I settled at my desk and sipped my coffee, ready for a fun game with my best friend in the world. ‘His surname’s Mortimer. Luke Mortimer.’ The words were music to my ears and I loved saying them. ‘I was thinking Mattie for a boy and Milly for a girl. Both got a nice ring to them.’

  ‘Hmm! Maybe. But Persephone Mortimer! Oh, Perce, I love it! It sounds so … right!’

  I couldn’t disagree, it sounded just perfect.

  *****

  I breezed through the phone calls to the club’s creditors. But with the charm I was oozing that day I could have sold a cut price Primark dress to Joan Collins or convinced the Pope to try a tab of acid.

  I was pleased with myself. I’d bought us time and that was what we needed at that point. The new acts should hopefully bring us some fresh punters and already the changes I’d made to the website had generated more interest. If I really put my mind to it, I could have The Glove making more of a profit than ever before and instead of just ‘surviving’ we could be raking it in.

  A quick glance at my watch revealed why my stomach had been complaining so loudly. I’d worked up quite an appetite the night before but had been too loved up for any breakfast that morning. An early morning workout (or two) under the duvet beat bacon and eggs any day but I really needed some food now. And it needed to be calorie, fat and
carb full. I was running on empty.

  I was just grabbing my purse to nip around the corner to the local café, when I heard a loud rapping on the front door.

  There on the step was the one man who could make my heart beat like a bongo drum on speed - and he was carrying two giant pizzas.

  ‘Somebody order a take away?’ he asked with that disarming smile. ‘If you order two, you get free kisses today. Special One Day Offer.’

  Suddenly I wasn’t hungry any more - at least not for food - and I pulled him in roughly and proceeded to show him how much I’d missed him in the short time we’d been apart. The pizzas got a bit squashed as we kissed frantically against the front door but salami and pepperoni were the last things on my mind.