THE HEALING HEART

by Zelda Clemens

  *****

  Several months had passed.

  They were a little slower than I anticipated. Time on the home world worked far differently than here on Earth. For starters, our days were longer. Here they went by “hours”, and a full circled day was 24 hours long, while back home our days lasted 30 of the human hours. This meant my sleeping pattern was off by about 6 of their hours each day and it took me a full month to finally find a rhythm for sleep, and work.

  But what surprised me the most was perhaps the way that the humans acted. I interacted with them. Some eventually relaxed in my presence, and like Diana were interested in me and genuinely inquisitive to my nature, my people, and my people’s history. Some looked upon me with apathy, ignoring my presence unless I was needed. Some seemed hostile in mannerism, though not in action, and focused their attentions elsewhere and did not interact with me. Some, still, remained frightened of my presence and were even angered by me.

  All in all, though it was a positive influence. My job being focused on providing Varrokian customs to humans, a Varrokian perspective, history, and information on our culture and all. If marketing came to me to ask how to entice Varrokian customers to the products, it was my job to tell them what would elicit a positive response, and what would likely have a fleet of warships within a cycle on top of the building to reduce it to dust.

  In a way, I enjoyed it very much.

  But what took most of my thoughts, and most of my time, and most of my energy to focus on that I wanted to and looked forward to, was meeting with Diana Richards… or just Diana as she preferred to be called. Her job initially having been to simply be my liaison and contact between the Companies, the Human Government I was indebted to for my continual stay, and to Human culture as well. Someone who was my definitive lifeline to remaining on earth and seeing to it that I received proper nutrition, and proper clothing, and proper tools and resources I needed.

  And I won’t lie. I enjoyed my time talking with her far more than I thought I would. At first, our partnership turning into an alliance. And then what the humans call “friendship”. And then eventually further on with “flirting” where she’d take an active interest in myself.

  Humans by and large were strange. I don’t know what it was with Diana that she sought my attention so much for. We were incompatible in all regards. She was a meter and a half in height, I was twice her height. More than triple her weight in mass. Broader, covered in a shaggy layer of fur. Maw that opened up into rows upon razor-sharp teeth, clawed hands with digitigrade feet, four eyes, four nostrils, and appearing like every predator that use to hunt humankind in their ancient past.

  I didn’t understand it, but I didn’t question it.

  Though one evening started us down a strange path that even to this day I didn’t question either. It seemed, for the most part, an inevitability in how two people, different as they were, could become closer together with one another.

  One evening, sitting back on the couch and letting human music echo out of a device that Diana had brought, I leaned back into the cushions as I ate a meal that I had purchased that evening; A paste made of Varrokian nutrients, cooked in a special kind of fat that the humans called ‘coconut’ oil that gave it a sweeter taste than one I ever expected of meat like texture to have. Slowly munching as I needed the calories to maintain my physique while Diana looked over paperwork from her own job. Numbers, and figures and fact sheets and all that went above my head; my job being mostly relationship advice to my people.

  I looked upon her, and noticed more the swelling of her stomach, indicating the development of the child she bore within her stomach. I remembered, asking once, how many she was expecting to have and she invoked the name of her deity, declaring that she wished she only would have one. But my curiosity over HOW she came to her current situation overwhelmed me. I decided that I needed bravery, and I asked.

  “Diana. Might I ask you a question?” I ventured out, tentatively, learning well that sometimes subtly with the Humans was better than outright questioning.

  She murmured a moment and turned to me. Her bright eyes shining in the growing darkness as the sun settled over the horizon once more to bathe the world in an orangish, yellowish glow. My favorite part of the evening. I felt the strength of my conviction returning as what was familiar to me overtook my senses. I asked.

  “Your child. You never did tell me about your mate. Why are you raising your spawn alone?”

  That smile of hers lessened for a moment and I felt my own heart sink within my chest. Fearing that it was a breach of trust that I overstepped through. It was a question I felt that required more trust than I possibly earned to know the truth behind. But she turned, and leaned in against the couch, closer towards me as she sought to relax.

  “He’s just out of the picture is all Vak’Nosh. Never coming back. It’s not really worth wasting too much of my time thinking about.”

  I nodded, though I sought clarification. It didn’t sit well with me to simply have the answer so open-ended. “I see… What happened to him?”

  Diana shrugged as she just slumped her shoulders. “Guess he didn’t want to stay. The moment I told him I was pregnant with his child, he withdrew, and next thing I know he was making up excuses to why he couldn’t see me anymore, and even offered to just pay me outright so I wouldn’t come to him for help anymore.”

  I knew enough of Human Culture to know how their family units typically functioned. In a way, it was the same with Varrokians. A Mother, a Father, sharing of resources to grow and enable the cub through their juvenile stage till they were independent enough to acquire resources for the Family Unit as well. Even for us, sometimes though a Mother or Father will outright reject an offspring. Whether through lack of resources or willingness to care.

  And like Varrokians, raising an offspring alone is not an easy task. So I sympathized with her. I felt the ears upon my head fall back against my skull in sympathy to her plight. “I’m sorry to hear that Diana. I don’t see why he’d not want to take responsibility.”

  She smiled, though I sensed the sadness behind her eyes as she just slumped in against me. Pressing her form against the side of my large thigh, close enough that I could feel almost every movement of her body. Every time she drew breath, every beat of her and her child’s heart within her. All of it. It was comforting, though I wished there was something I could have done for her in that moment.

  “Some men just don’t. I guess I’m not that good of a judge of character.”

  I sought to correct her, or, at least make light of the situation. I found through my several months that most social interactions with Humans could be allayed with some form of humor. “You judged me, didn’t you? Seems you know well enough in people.”

  “Yea but I like you, and not just because it’s my job Vak’Nosh. I trust you.” She said as she turned to me, and I felt, once more, that blush creep along my neck, hidden thankfully beneath the cover of my grey-black fur. It seemed she was the only one that brought it out to me. Plus, the way she looked at me. The way she gazed her bright eyes up towards me almost took my breath away. In a strange sense, she was… attractive to me… in that moment.

  I couldn’t place why. She was so small, so weak; there wasn’t a trace of muscle on her. She was soft, hairless aside from an outcropping at the top of her head. Her face was flat, she only had two eyes, and she smelled constantly of fruit and flowers that often sickened me till I got used to its essence. She wasn’t even a warrioress of her people and had never fought before in combat I learned.

  And yet… she was intriguing to me. There was something about her that I liked.

  “Yes…” I responded, unsure of how to choose my next words. “I trust you and I like you as well.”

  She smiled and then she leaned in against my side, almost in a cuddling position as she pushed into the curve of my waistline. This was an affection I hadn’t felt even back home, even with my attempts to attract a mate and nearly succeeding s
everal times. Her body was warm. Far warmer than I thought she’d be. And the smell of her, without the distracting scent of her perfume, was heady, earthy, and sweet. Like a fragrance from a distance that was clean, but full of the pheromones of arousal and desire.

  I inhaled deeply, both to smell more of her, and to feel goosebumps prickling along my back as it raised the fur of my hackles in delight. She continued to speak, her voice soft, almost questioning her own decision in that moment. “Do you think anything could happen between us?” she asked, turning to look up towards me.

  Her scent continued to haze my thoughts, and dull my own senses. I looked down at her, focusing all of my eyes upon her as I tried to think of the words to say. “Isn’t something happening now?” I asked the first thing that came to my mind.

  “I meant us... together. A human and a Varrokian. As a couple…” she continued on. Inching her way up towards me, almost sliding up against my body as I felt her brush past the muscle of my ribcage, up to the pit of my arm as the large bicep pressed against her shoulders, but giving way to her ascent as I watched her get closer to the tip of my muzzle. Her eyes intoxicating to me as I couldn’t help but feel myself, even against my will, lean in closer towards her. The crinkling of the cushions a distant echo to me.

  “As in mates?” I asked. Unsure of what she meant.

  “If you want.” Was all she said. Her breath warm against my face as I felt her lips so close to mine. The black line that separated my sharp teeth. Her lips, so soft, so pink, so irresistible.

  “I can accept that,” I said, softly. The world all around me seemingly disappearing as night took hold in the apartment complex, and the lights went on above my head, casting the entirety of my world in a white glow of luminescence.

  The moment I said the words, she pressed closer and kissed me. My muzzled features wider and bigger than hers, but I could feel her lips upon mine, upon a part of my face as I breathed out in surprise at such an action. We never kissed on the home world. Our faces weren’t designed as the humans were. Elongated, lupine features made for poor intimate encounters facially aside from nuzzling, so I didn’t know how to react, or how to respond to the kisses: I just knew I was enjoying the affection and I let her continue on as I tried to repeat the motions with my own lips.

  It was my hands though that did the most action. I wanted to touch her, in a way I hadn’t before. In the months since we met one another, I never ventured my hand further than her shoulder or her back, light little touches, or the occasional ruffle of my claws through her hair as a show of friendship when she was being delightful or had done something for me that I was thankful for.

  But now, my palm caressed across her body. Slowly moving down all along her body. Feeling across the curve of her back as she continued to kiss upon my face. Letting her feel the heavy, leathery padded palms of my hand move down to her backside, down to the curve of her buttocks as I held her up, no longer forcing her to stand as I simply lifted her.

  She was so light, even with child. I could barely feel my muscled arm straining as I held her aloft almost like a toy in my arm as I leaned back upon the couch, hearing the creaking of the wood straining to contain my frame as I pulled her to my chest to lay across. Leaving her panting and my breathing deepening as I puffed my broad chest out with each breath I took. My mind a whirlwind of feelings, emotions, and even in a way, desires. I never thought I’d feel this way for a being from another species before.

  “Oh my god...” she said breathlessly as she wrapped her arms around my thick neck. “You’re making me want you so much right now.” She spoke, in a tone that bespoke of carnality, and wantonness. I could sense the heady aroma of her pheromones even more as they dulled my senses to bring about that animalistic desire within me. That innate instinct to mate.

  “How?” was all I could say. If I took her to mate, I worried with the differences in size, I’d hurt her. The last thing I wanted to do.

  She smiled and leaned in to kiss me, and I felt that light, wet touch of a tongue against my lip, only gaining an agonized groan from me as she sat up. “Why don’t you let me do all the work? Just… show you how humans are when the mood strikes. Yes?”

  I looked to her and nodded as I leaned back. I liked to think I was a dominant male. Successful on my own home planet. Rising through the ranks of Varrokian society, but yet here. Here, I was at the mercy of a small woman in heat. Tall, and powerful, and able to withstand competition and battle alike, and here she held me at her whim.

  I watched her as she sunk down lower along my chest, unbuttoning my vest, my shirt, and more, as she showed me exactly what human mating was like.

  And all I could think of was; I really liked humans at that moment, and that I doubt I’d ever get over Diana now.

  *****

  Time went on as it usually did. My job continued onwards, forever going forward as Human and Varrokian relations improved over time. Human companies, such as Heavensent, sent out their missives, their products, their services to Varrok, and in turn, they did the same.

  Unlike a lot of the early Human “pop culture” about aliens, and other creatures from space, we didn’t engage in a war with one another. There was no invasion or resources, no “gobbling” up humans for food and sustenance, no abductions, no epic battles with War Cruisers firing red beams of lasers or missiles at one another. Instead, it was through trade and diplomacy that brought our people closer together after the initial first contact and subsequent decoding of one another’s languages. And the more we traded and entwined our economies, the more we started to realize we could easily understand each other on a fundamental level.

  The humans earned our friendship, and in a lot of other ways, other evocative emotions.

  I realized that as I stood there within the kitchen of the apartment complex still within the Heavensent Corporate building. Six months had passed since I had come to them, and in that time I came to think of it as a home. I explored the city, found more people interested in who I was as a curiosity rather than the outright hostility I expected of them, and I grew comfortable in my surroundings. More so as I noticed more and more of my people and others exploring the city either as tourists or potential immigrants to Earth.

  I even ran across the Elder once more who I met on my first ascent to Earth all those months ago. Having seen him don Earth-based customs and clothing instead of our Varrokian battle wear. It was strange to see him, sunglasses, ‘Hawaiian’ shirt, and Shorts, but never the less an interesting encounter and meet up.

  But I didn’t want to leave. I looked down at the large cup I held in my claws. Looking to the dark brew that I was introduced to called ‘coffee’ some odd months back. A drink from pressurized beans that produced alertness and a mild euphoria.

  I drank, looking down at the papers on the counter as Diana emerged from the bedroom, and crossed through the lobby to approach me. The robe she wore opened, exposing the swelling of her stomach as I realized it was getting close to time for her to give birth. My concern for both her and my future weighing heavily on my mind.

  In the time since we’d “bonded” with one another through easing sexual acts with one another, learning well of the limits of each other’s body (much to my chagrin as I took more abuse than she could), and opening of our hearts and minds to one another I came to find that I enjoyed her company vastly. That I wanted her to be around in my life more and more.

  This was why the letters on the counter disturbed me so. They were the renewal papers of my credentials to remain on Earth as a workplace visitor. If I wanted to, I could take the small severance package that Heavensent offered, return to my home world, and find employment other places. Or, I could remain upon Earth for an additional six months, renew my contract, not train a replacement, and continue to love here.

  The work wasn’t hard, many Varrokian mannerisms and culture were not being filtered onto Earth, and I even was starting to ‘pick up’ the culture and mannerisms of humans more. And through Diana, I
was enjoying what my life was becoming.

  She smiled and hugged me, and I felt that heat of arousal, desire, and affection well within me. A mixture of emotions that they called ‘love’ that fed into that desire to stay. I leaned down and nuzzled my muzzle upon the top of her hair as she held on close to me. Her hands caressing across my bare belly, watching her tiny fingers bury themselves within the soft fur of my body as I grumbled lightly. Not in annoyance, but to feed off of the attention.

  “Morning. You’re up early.” She said, kissing once more at the top of my belly as I smiled, in spite of myself.

  “Coffee. I can’t seem to get enough of it. The mild euphoria and the alertness I gain. I’m surprised it sits well with my appetites.” I spoke, avoiding what was on my mind and choosing to distract myself with her.

  She continued to kiss me. “Good. You know. I’m glad you’re here Vak’nosh. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you, you know.”

  I smiled and nodded once more. “I feel the same.”, and I realized I meant it. The baby that was coming, while it would not be mine genetically, was something I was actually looking forward to. I had seen human children, and they fascinated me in some small measure. A small, helpless child, growing up to become the humans that they are now? It seemed… thrilling. To be a part of, and to witness. And to be a part of Diana’s life.

  I reached past her as she continued to hug me, and I slid the papers away. I realized then, and there, I was going to renew my contract. And even if my employment was to be terminated, I could always seek immigration. I wanted to say.

  “Say…” I ventured out. Looking back down towards Diana. “Why don’t you and I take a day, and see what sort of experiences we can find in the city. Something easy, to keep you off your feet.”

  “Always thinking of me. You know this is why I love you right?”

  I smiled at the word. “And this is why I love you too. Always on my mind, Diana Richards.”