THE HEALING HEART

by Zelda Clemens

  Two weeks later, Kara stood at the edge of Aria’s pool, looking out over the party. Aria’s parents were out of town and the house was full of people too drunk to be able to walk straight. Some guy was talking to Kara about his university of choice and Kara absently nodded along as she scanned the crowd for better company. Aria was running around trying to make sure that her parents’ furniture wasn’t being damaged. Kara spotted a familiar face across the pool and said, “Is that Lucas Wentworth? He looks good.”

  The guy talking to her stopped and looked where she was looking, and in an annoyed voice he said, “That’s not Lucas, that’s Adam.” Kara raised her eyebrow and said, “The twin?” She hadn’t interacted with the other Wentworth much, but she knew he was wildly popular and he was perhaps even more handsome than his brother. They had the same crooked smile, the same chiseled jawlines and the same blue-green eyes, but Adam’s hair was shorter and it made him look older, more sophisticated.

  She turned to the boy and sweetly said, “Would you get me another drink?” He was caught off guard and he hesitated but Kara smiled and he said, “Sure- I’ll be right back.” As soon as he turned to go into the house, Kara quickly moved away from the spot where she was and began to make her way to Adam. He was talking to a girl but the minute she walked past, his eyes immediately shifted to her. “Hi Lucas,” she said, deliberately feigning ignorance as she walked past him. “I’m not Lucas,” he called out and Kara turned, puckering her mouth to form a surprised looking O.

  “Sorry, we haven’t met. I’m-” but before she could finish, he said “Kara Swan- yeah, I know who you are. I’m Adam- Adam Wentworth.” The girl he had been talking to rolled her eyes and walked away, but Adam didn’t even seem to notice. Kara smiled and said, “I see it now- you’re actually very distinctly different from Lucas.” Adam laughed and said, “In a good way, I hope.” Kara nodded and said, “Definitely.” A few drinks later, Kara ran up the stairs towards Aria’s bedroom, bursting in as Adam followed her. She closed the door and he pressed her up against it, his hands finding their way across her body.

  FOUR YEARS LATER

  “Both of them?” Nina exclaimed and Kara held up her hands defensively. “How was I supposed to know that my mom would want to marry their father?” Nina shook her head and said, “You know- even your mom was marrying some other guy, you’d still probably have slept with his son too.” Kara glared at Nina, who grinned and said, “Okay sorry, not the time for jokes. Look- can’t you just pretend it never happened and be cool for your mom’s sake?” Kara nodded slowly and said, “Yeah- that’s what I’ll have to do. I just hope the twins do the same.”

  *****

  The sun hung low in the sky, bathing Kara’s hometown in rose gold as the plane descended over a patchwork quilt of houses and trees and lakes. Kara pressed her forehead against the window. All her memories of her childhood, everyone she knew and met, could all fit in one hand-span from where she was. She sighed and leaned back in her seat, securing her seatbelt as the flight attendant announced that they were landing. The next few minutes were torture. She was wracked with anxiety, and as the plane dipped lower in the sky, Kara felt her stomach drop with it.

  She walked off of the plane, picked her luggage from the conveyor belt and headed out of the airport as though she were in a daze. It was only when she heard a delighted squeal that she snapped out of it and looked up to see a woman waving frantically at her, carrying a sign that said “WELCOME HOME KARA!!!” Kara smiled brightly at her mother and hurried towards her, pulling her trolley bag behind her. As soon as she reached her mother, she pulled her into a huge warm hug. As they parted, Kara said, “Mom you look amazing!”

  It was true, Margo’s hair, usually brown and mousy, was newly highlighted and her hazel eyes had a spark to them that Kara hadn’t seen since she was a little girl. She was also dressed up more than she usually was. She had eyeliner on, and a subtle pink tint on her lips, while she wore a white blouse with tailored beige pants. She tossed back her hair and laughed as she said, “You really think so? Gosh, I’ve been working hard on myself- but forget about me, look at you!” She beamed at Kara and said, “You’re more beautiful every time I look at you!”

  Kara carried her bag to her mom’s car, while her mother chatted away about all the things Kara had missed while she was away at college. “You should see your cousin Holly’s baby, looks exactly like her father, poor thing. I mean I love Uncle Albert, but to see a child with his nose is truly terrifying.” Kara laughed out loud, happy to be around her mother after so long. It was as though nothing had changed and they were gossiping as they had always done. Of course, that wasn’t true. Everything had changed, and it didn’t matter how much Kara delayed it, her reunion with her new family was inevitable.

  She took a deep breath and said, “So, when’s the wedding?” As soon as she had said the words, the entire atmosphere seemed to change. It was as though a dam had been opened, and her mother burst forth with wedding talk. “Kara, I was just flipping through a magazine one day and I saw these stunning dresses by Zuhair Murad, and I just sort of gushed a little over them and you won’t believe it but Harry set up my bridal appointment there. I mean can you imagine it, me in haute couture? When I married your dad, I wore Grandma Nicki’s lacey nightmare.”

  Kara laughed along with her mother, but some degree of her mirth was gone and she wondered if the boys felt the same strange tug in their stomachs whenever their father mentioned his bride-to-be. “Have you picked out your dress yet? I’d love to go with you if you haven’t,” Kara said, trying very hard to be as supportive as she could. This wasn’t the time to be selfish. Her mother was so unbelievably happy. Kara patiently listened to her mother talk about cakes, guest-lists and venues. When enough time had passed, she raised the only topic she really wanted to discuss.

  “So- um- have you met his kids yet? The twins, I mean.” Kara nervously licked her lips as she waited for a response. Her mother nodded and said, “We told them right after we told you. They’re such sweet boys. Kara, I’m surprised you didn’t hang out with them in high school.” Kara tried to hide her bright red face as she pretended to look for something in her bag and mumbled a non-committal response just as her mother said, “Anyway, I’m really excited for you to meet them all tomorrow night.” Kara’s head snapped up and she said, “Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow night?”

  Her mother pulled into the driveway of Kara’s childhood home as she said, “Harry’s throwing a dinner in your honor. A family dinner- God Kara, it feels so good to say that, you know? Family.” Kara knitted her brows together and her mother mistook her dread for something else and said, “I didn’t mean it like that, sweetie- you and I were a family, of course, but it’s just more complete now.” Kara nodded and said, “I get it Mom, you don’t have to explain- I’m honestly so happy, and I’m really excited to meet them.” Her mother smiled widely and tossed her the house keys as she said, “Go on and run inside, I’ll bring your bags.”

  As Kara unlocked the door and walked inside, she was hit with a flood of memories. She hadn’t been back home in over a year, and the familiarity of home had her all choked up. Things were a little different though, the picture of her parents’ wedding that used to be in the hallway was gone, replaced with the smiling photo of Kara at her high school graduation. Her mom walked in with her bags and set them down next to the door as she said, “I had to take it down, Kar. I’m starting a new chapter, and I just don’t want to be held back by-” before she could finish, Kara walked over and hugged her mother, and said, “Mom, I love you- and yeah, I miss Dad but he left us a long time ago. You deserve to be happy, and that’s all I want too.”

  *****

  Kara changed four times, tossing aside each outfit as she felt more and more frustrated. Why did it matter so much what she wore? She knew she wanted the twins to find her attractive, but it was a strange thing for her to want considering they were all going to be siblings soon. She settled on a pink crushed velvet dress
and let her tousled waves down, adding a light dusting of highlighter to her cheekbones before heading down the stairs to the hallway where her mother was waiting.

  “Oh my God- Kara, look at you- you’re radiant.” Margo said, smiling happily and Kara smiled back as she said, “And you look beautiful, Mom.” Kara linked her arms with her mother’s and they happily chatted away as they made their way to the car. As her mother drove, Kara tried to keep still, but she kept fidgeting with the hem of her dress. “What’s wrong baby, are you nervous?” Her mother said, her own voice cracking with the anxiety she felt, and Kara shook her head. “Not nervous- excited. I’m looking forward to meeting everyone.” Her mother smiled and said, “Ah, we’re here.”

  Kara looked up and saw a large stunning mansion sprawled out ahead, with tall gates blocking it off. Their car slowed down, and her mother rolled down the window as a guard approached, “Hi Robert, it’s me,” she smiled, and the guard smiled back before he threw open the gates, and the car drove down the long winding driveway, leading to a garage that held five more cars, each one more luxurious than the next. Her mother parked between a white Bentley and a black Rolls-Royce and Kara let out a low whistle as she said, “Mom, wow- these guys are loaded.” Her mother nodded as she quickly checked her lipstick in the rear-view mirror and said, “Yeah- but I didn’t know that when I started dating him, so don’t you get any ideas about me.”

  Kara laughed as she got out of the car and said, “Relax, the thought didn’t even cross my mind.” Her mother took a deep breath and said, “Alright, time for my fiancé to meet my daughter.” They walked up the front steps and Kara waited, masterfully concealing her nervousness under a smile, while her mother rang the bell. The door was opened a second later by a plump lady in a maid’s uniform who smiled and said, “Miss Margo, welcome.” Kara’s mother smiled and said, “Hi Ellen, this is my daughter, Kara.” Ellen turned to Kara and said, “Welcome, Miss Kara- you are beautiful just like your mother.” She led the two of them in and Kara tried not to stare as she let her gaze wander over the marble floor, the large double staircase and the stunning paintings adorning the walls.

  A handsome man with salt and pepper hair and a charming smile walked down the stairs as he called out, “Margo, darling.” Margo turned to face her fiancé and smiled brightly as she said, “Hello, Harry.” Harry Wentworth made his way down to them and embraced Kara’s mother before turning to her and saying, “And you must be Kara.” Kara beamed at him and nodded, and Harry said, “It’s an absolute pleasure- I’ve been waiting so long to meet you.” Kara shook his hand and said, “The pleasure’s all mine- I’m just happy to see how happy you’ve made my mom.” Harry laughed and said, “Oh no, I’m the lucky one here. Your mother is just a dream come true.”

  He led them to the dining room and said, “Please, take a seat. My son, Adam, is upstairs on a phone call, he’ll join us in a minute, and Lucas said he’s on his way.” Kara’s heart seemed to leap up to her throat as he said the boys’ names. She had momentarily forgotten about them and had been so focused on meeting Harry. Now, suddenly, the thought of meeting them scared the hell out of her, and she stood up without meaning to. Harry looked at her, smiling, waiting for her to say something. Kara quickly covered up by asking for directions to the bathroom.

  “Oh of course, it’s right down the hallway, first door on your right.” Harry smiled as Kara hurried past him into the bathroom, and she closed the door, leaning her forehead against the cool polished wood. “Kara, chill,” she said to herself softly, “It’ll be fine- just go out there and smile and focus on dinner and then it’ll be over.” She took a deep breath and turned to glance at her reflection in the mirror. She looked good, really good. She smiled at herself, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before she put her hand on the door handle and squared her shoulders, ready to go out and face the Wentworths. As she walked back into the dining room, she could hear her mother and Harry talking, and she pasted her fake smile onto her voice before she walked in.

  Kara took her seat at the table and Harry asked, “Kara, can I pour you a drink?” He stood up and Kara smiled as she said, “Yes please, I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Harry nodded and poured her a decent amount of Scotch, adding ice and lemon to it before handing it over. Just as she gratefully accepted the glass, a man walked in and Kara’s heart skipped a beat as she saw the familiar jawline and blue-green eyes. Adam Wentworth paused in the doorway as his eyes met hers. Kara thought she saw a flicker of recognition on his face for a brief second, but it was gone almost immediately and he said, “Hi, I’m Adam- it’s lovely to meet you.”

  *****

  Adam sat down across from Kara and struck up a conversation with her mother. Kara was left feeling irrationally embarrassed. Did he really not remember her? Had she imagined the look of recognition on his face? “Kara?” Her mother’s voice suddenly jolted her out of her own thoughts and brought her back to her crushingly embarrassing reality. “Kara, weren’t you two in the same grade in high school, honey?” Kara’s mouth was suddenly dry and she knitted her brows together as though she was thinking, “Um yeah, I think so- I was the graduating class of 2012.” Adam nodded, “So was I, but I guess our paths never crossed in high school,” he smiled and Kara gulped, amazed at how he had just grown more handsome over the years.

  “You know, it was a big school. So many kids go there, you can’t possibly know everyone,” Harry said. Kara nodded, but she couldn’t speak. The doorbell rang, and Adam stood up as he said, “That must be Lucas. I’ll get it.” Kara watched him leave, unable to believe this was actually happening. She tried not to think about the night of Aria’s party, but the image of Adam across the shimmering blue water of the pool floated into her head and she couldn’t do anything to get rid of it.

  A minute later, Adam walked back in, followed closely by Lucas. Kara tried not to stare at him, but she couldn’t help but notice the ways in which Lucas grown to look different from his brother. While Adam still had the clean All-American looks Kara remembered, Lucas had let his facial hair grow out a little, and he sported a slightly longer hair that was gelled back.

  “Hi everyone,” he announced as he entered, and then he stopped and smiled at Kara, “Well, Kara Swan- you look exactly the same if not prettier.” She smiled back shakily and stood up to shake his hand, and he winked at her before he sat down. “Oh, you two know each other?” Margo said excitedly, but it was Adam who spoke, “Well, Lucas was a football player so most people knew him, right?” Kara nodded and Lucas laughed as he said, “And from what I remember, Kara was an avid fan of the sport.” Feeling her cheeks burning, Kara said nothing and took a sip of her drink.

  Harry stood up suddenly and said, “Well, we’ll leave you kids to catch up. Margo and I will take a walk around the garden while dinner is being prepared.” As her mother stood up to leave, Kara tried to flash her a pleading look, but she walked away without glancing at Kara. As the two of them walked out of the dining table, Adam turned to Kara and said, “So Kara, what are you studying?” Kara opened her mouth and then closed it again, surprised that he was asking such a trite question, as though they had never shared any sort of history. She glanced at Lucas, who was smirking slightly. He clearly remembered her. So why didn’t Adam?

  “Um,” she said, “I’m in my senior year, I’m studying International Relations and Political Science.” Lucas snorted into his drink and Adam looked at him with disdain before he said, “That sounds interesting, I’m doing law, and my brother here-” but before he could finish Lucas leaned forward and said, “So this is pretty weird, right? That you’re going to be our step-sister?” Kara felt mortified at first but she soon realized that Lucas wasn’t trying to be rude, and she laughed as the weirdness of the situation dawned on her. “Yeah,” she admitted, “it’s pretty strange, I mean four years ago, I would have not imagined this.” Lucas sat back and grinned at her and Kara added, “But you know, I’m glad my mom’s happy.” Adam nodded and said, “E
xactly, that’s all that matters.”

  Things were less awkward than Kara had expected them to be, and once Lucas had acknowledged what had transpired between them, Kara felt more relaxed. She was a little upset that Adam didn’t remember her at all, but she figured it was better that way. Now they could all form a new relationship from this point on. Their parents returned and dinner was served. The conversation flowing naturally as everyone moved on to second and third glasses of alcohol. Kara smiled to herself and thought that this might all just work out.

  The dinner went well, and by the time Margo and Kara got up to leave, everyone was in really high spirits. Harry clamped down his hand on Kara’s shoulder and said, “You have no idea how badly I’ve always wanted a daughter, Kara- and I know I’m not your father, and I’m not claiming to be, but I’m just so happy to have you in my family.” Kara felt tears forming in her eyes and she hugged Harry tightly, unable to form a coherent sentence. Margo kissed the boys on their cheeks and then put her hand on Kara’s back, leading her out of the house. On her way to the car, Kara realized she had left her coat and she ran back inside to get it as Margo started the car. Harry was outside seeing Margo off, and nobody seemed to be around. Kara looked for Ellen but she couldn’t find her, so she went looking for the coat closet.

  She had just managed to fish her coat out of a large closet when she closed the door and found herself face to face with Lucas. “Hey sis,” he said teasingly and Kara smiled as she said, “I forgot my coat- I’m just leaving now. Bye.” Lucas moved out of the way and said, “Bye,” but she could feel his gaze still on her. She turned to find her gazing at her legs the same way he had gazed at them four years ago. Kara hurried out of the house and tried to tell herself she had imagined it- but she knew she hadn’t.