THE HEALING HEART

by Zelda Clemens

  “Like I said, you’ve been a good employee so far. But as I’m sure you can understand, good is not what we’re looking for here. Do you understand that?” he asked fixing his eyes on her.

  Olivia lowered her eyes and looked away. She couldn’t handle the intensity of his stare.

  Finally, she regained her composure and was able to answer. “Yes, of course, I understand that. As I said before, I’m more than willing to do anything you ask of me. Anything.”

  Carter seemed especially pleased with that answer. For a few moments, he rubbed his chin and seemed to be deep in thought, or maybe deep in fantasy was a better way to say it.

  “Is that right?” he asked. You’ll do anything I say?”

  Now his face beamed with satisfaction and a sense of control. That’s how he liked things to be in his office.

  “Yes, sir, I mean…”

  A sly smiled passed over Carter’s lips. “What did you call me?” he asked.

  Olivia was confused. She stared at her boss with a bewildered expression. What had she done wrong now? Had she said something to offend him?

  “What do you—”

  He cut her off with a wave of the hand. “Did you call me sir? Were you going to call me Sir Carter?”

  “No. I would never do that.”

  “Why not?” Carter said sitting down on top his desk right in front of her.

  *****

  Her mouth had gone completely dry. Her tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of her mouth. This is not how she’d envisioned her morning going. She felt like she was under attack and had no way of defending herself. Yet at the same time, there was also something exhilarating about being in such an intimate encounter with her extremely handsome and sexy boss.

  She admired how seriously he took the firm’s reputation. She admired that he wasn’t afraid to tell employees when he was disappointed. She’d learned that he could be just as generous as he could be critical.

  If he was particularly pleased with someone’s performance, he would pay for them and their family to take a month long vacation to anywhere in the world. Olivia desperately hoped that she would be on the end of that sort of treatment one day. Yet here she found herself being scolded. And her boss was enjoying every moment of her discomfort.

  As he questioned her, he kept his eyes locked on her. He watched every tick, doubt, and hesitation that passed across Olivia’s face. His intense eyes made her feel as if she were under a microscope.

  “Do you have a problem calling me Sir Carter?”

  Olivia stared at her boss without answering. She wasn’t sure whether or not she was about to walk into a trap. She wasn’t sure what all of this meant.

  “Would that be a problem for you Olivia? Calling me Sir Carter in front of all the other employees?”

  “No, that would be—”

  Carter cut her off with a sharp stare. “What did you call me?”

  “I meant Sir Carter, sir. Yes, I will call you sir around the office and in front of everyone whenever you want.”

  “That’s good. That’s very good. Now get back to your desk. I’ll have more to say to you later in the day.”

  *****

  Once she got back at her desk, Olivia felt her heart racing. She was still trying to understand what had just happened. She knew that her boss had a reputation for being tough. But what he’d just put her through made no sense to her. She’d never heard anyone else around the office refer to Mr. Carter as sir. Why was she being made to do it? It would be so humiliating. In no time, people around the office would start talking. She would be the young, naive girl who let the boss push her around.

  As she imagined the future humiliations she would suffer at Carter’s hands, she felt anger welling up inside her. She had the urge to storm back into her boss’s office and demand answers. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t the way employees were supposed to be treated, not even in law firms, which were notorious for their tough treatment of new employees.

  Tough treatment was one thing. But creating arbitrary rules that didn’t apply across the board to all employees was just wrong.

  For the next few hours, Olivia did her best to concentrate on her work. She had to prepare some important briefs and she knew that she couldn’t afford to make a mistake. Despite how hard she tried to concentrate, she couldn’t take her mind off the strange encounter she’d had with her boss. And every time she thought of it, her eyes drifted away from the paper work in front of her and back towards her boss’ office.

  The blinds were pulled down and she couldn’t see inside. But on more than one occasion, she could’ve sworn that she saw Carter peeking from behind the blinds and staring at her. She wasn’t sure, though. Maybe she was blowing things out of proportion. Maybe she was imagining things.

  Her boss’ door swung open and he marched out with hands on his hips. He casts his eyes around the room. Everyone had their necks bent over stacks of paper work. Everyone except Olivia.

  Carter immediately noticed that his young paralegal seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. He stared at her suggestively and sauntered towards her.

  Olivia didn’t notice him, until he was standing over her desk, looking down at her with a smirk. She felt her face flush. She lowered her eyes and looked away. Carter’s smile only grew broader.

  “Is something wrong?” He asked. “You wouldn’t be over here surfing the Internet would you?”

  Olivia looked up with fear in her eyes. She would never do something like that. The suggestion offended her. She cleared her throat and spoke up for herself.

  “No, Sir. I’m completing the Johnson and Saunders case briefs. They are due this afternoon.”

  When she’d finished speaking, she noticed that the smile had disappeared from his face. She immediately had the sense that she’d done something wrong but once again she didn’t know what.

  “What did you call me?” He asked in a menacing voice.

  Moments later she realized her mistake. She’d forgotten to address him as Sir Carter. Her eyes darted around the office. If she had to say it, she at least wanted to make sure that no one was listening to her.

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter. I made a mistake and it won’t happen again.”

  A satisfied smile quickly reappeared on Carter’s face. “I don’t think I could hear you,” he said. “Would you mind speaking louder?”

  Olivia almost choked when she heard that. He was actually going to make her call him ‘Sir Carter’ in front of the other employees? She couldn’t figure why he was playing these types of power games with her. She’d never done anything in the office to deserve this type of harsh treatment.

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter,” Olivia said. “I’m very sorry.”

  “That’s better. But don’t let it happen again.”

  “Yes, Sir Carter. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

  “Good. Finish up what you’re doing and be in my office in fifteen minutes.”

  Olivia bowed her head. Her tongue was stuck in her throat. She was too shaken up to speak. She would have to go back in his office. She was very worried about what he would make her do next. This is not what she’d signed up for and she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to handle it.

  She looked around the office to see if anyone else had noticed what had just happened. A few heads turned towards her then quickly turned away. She heard whispering coming from different corners of the room. She couldn’t make out what anybody was saying, but she was convinced that she was the topic of conversation. That sort of public scolding didn’t happen in this office.

  *****

  Fifteen minutes later, Olivia walked towards her boss’ office. She had a queasy feeling in her stomach. She had the urge to rush off to the bathroom. But she knew that any delay would only upset her boss even more. It would give him another reason to punish and humiliate her.

  She gently knocked on the door. There was no reply. She raised her fist to knock again and the door suddenly opened. Car
ter stared at her coldly. “Come in and sit down,” he said.

  Olivia felt a shiver pass through her body.

  “As I began explaining to you this morning,” Carter said, “Good is not what we’re looking for at this firm. I have to know that everyone in this office is one hundred percent loyal to me.”

  Olivia had the urge to blurt something out but she managed to hold her tongue. She figured she would be better off waiting until Carter made it clear that he expected her to speak. Until then, silence would probably be her best option.

  “Do you understand why that’s important?” he asked.

  She shook her head yes, then cleared her throat. Now she knew that she had to either speak or risk angering her boss.

  “Yes, Sir Carter. I understand. Completely.”

  “I see that you’re starting to pick things up. But I want to be very clear, I expect you to refer to me as Sir Carter at all times. And I expect you to obey whatever demands I issue. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Sir Carter.”

  Carter smiled then turned his back on her. Once again he appeared to be taking great pleasure in this game he was playing. It was clear that he intended to take things further.

  “I know it doesn’t seem like it these days,” Carter said, looking down at his impeccably tailored suit. “But I’m actually much more comfortable in a pair of Wrangler’s, boots, and a ten-gallon hat.”

  Olivia’s mouth opened wide in surprise. “A cowboy?”

  Carter nodded his head up and down.

  Olivia covered her mouth to keep from laughing. It seemed so strange to her. She would have never guessed that he was anything but a high-powered attorney. Apparently, there were more layers to him than she would have ever expected.

  While Carter paced around the office in silence, Olivia trembled in her chair. She couldn’t remember ever having felt so small. Weeks ago, she’d thought that this job in a prestigious law firm would help build up her confidence. But now she felt every bit of confidence and self-belief being ripped away from her. This man was turning her into a groveling, subservient employee. She hated that feeling, yet at the same time she felt hypnotized by it.

  “Do you have a man in your life?” Carter asked.

  Olivia paused before answering the question. She was single and had been single for a long time. She hated talking about her dating life with friends and family. That was bad enough. She never imagined that she would have to talk about something so personal with her boss.

  She was too flustered too answer. Her eyes bounced around the room. She appeared to be looking, at least subconsciously, for an escape. None was forthcoming and she knew it. She would either have to answer the prying personal question or face the consequences.

  For a moment, Carter’s face appeared to soften. Maybe a warm, empathetic thought was passing through his mind. Or maybe he was just setting her up for further humiliation.

  The imperious boss sat back down in his chair. He locked his fingers in front of his face and sighed.

  “I don’t mean to be intrusive,” he said. “But there are certain things that I must know before I proceed any further. Some of these things may make you uncomfortable or embarrassed. But that’s not my problem. You choose to work at this law firm. And no one ever told you that it was going to be easy.”

  Olivia felt like saying something smart and biting in response. But she knew that would be akin to suicide. There was no way that Carter would tolerate any sort of resistance from employees. He was making it clear that he expected one hundred percent cooperation, one hundred percent of the time. Any sort of insubordination would be severely punished.

  Despite how important she knew obedience was if she wanted to keep this job, something in her revolted. She couldn’t bring herself to answer the question. She didn’t want to play this game any longer. She considered getting up and leaving the office and never coming back again. If she could get hired here, then plenty of other law firms would be willing to give her an opportunity to prove herself. And that’s all she wanted. She didn’t want to be treated differently. She wanted to be treated fairly, like everyone else.

  So why did she stay? She wouldn’t have been able to explain it herself. But she felt all sorts of contradictions surging within her. She had a desire to be treated like everyone else. Yet the idea that she was being singled out for a special kind of treatment—whether that treatment was good or bad—was extremely exciting to her.

  She wouldn’t have been able to explain it like that, though. She could feel the mix of emotions swelling within her.

  She swallowed hard. “Whatever you want, Sir.”

  “You might not have heard, but I’m looking for a woman to mother my firstborn child. And I'm not just looking for any woman. I'm looking for a woman who’s demonstrated her willingness to be obedient and submissive. Do you think that you could handle that enormous responsibility?”

  Olivia wasn't sure what she’d just heard. Could he be serious? She couldn't get any words out of her throat so she nodded her head up and down.

  “Good. Very good.”

  Carter got up from his chair and slowly walked around his desk. He kept his eyes on Olivia the whole time. His eyes bore a hole through her skull. She’d never experienced such an intense stare.

  He stopped walking suddenly and looked down at his shoes. “Look at that,” he said with his hands on his hips. “My shoelace came undone.”

  The handsome devil stared directly at Olivia. His eyes were full of mischief. She had a feeling that he had something planned, something that would push her even further. “I’m a little clumsy like that sometimes,” Carter said. “But it can be very dangerous don’t you think? Walking around with untied shoelaces?”

  She remained silent. She didn’t know why he was talking about his shoelaces. All he had to do was bend over and tie them.

  “You wouldn’t mind tying them for me would you?”

  A moment of silent tension passed without either of them saying anything. Then Olivia smiled and began laughing. She was sure that he was kidding. There was no way that he was really asking her to tie his shoes. Who did he think he was? Who did he think she was?

  “That doesn’t offend you does it?” Carter asked.

  The smile slowly disappeared from Olivia's face and her laughter died out. It was clear to her that he was serious. He really expected her to tie his shoes.

  “Sir Carter, are you serious?”

  “Do you think I have time to play games and tell jokes?”

  “No, Sir, I was just thinking—”

  “Well, stop thinking and obey. That’s the problem with you newbies. Think you know it all. You’re not willing to start at the bottom. You expect to be treated like you’ve been working here for twenty years right from the start.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir Carter. I’m very sorry. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “On your knees!” Carter barked.

  Without thinking about what she was doing, she got down on her knees on the carpet.

  She reached out for Carter’s shoes but he pulled his foot back. “Did I tell you to touch me?” he asked.

  Olivia swallowed hard and shook her head no.

  There was a knock at the office door. Fear and apprehension wracked Olivia’s body. There was no way that he would open the door. There was no way that he would allow another employee to see her in this humiliating position. If he did that, how would she be able to go back out there and face her colleagues? She would be the laughing stock of the office. He couldn’t make her go through with this. He couldn’t. It was just too cruel.

  *****

  “Come in,” Carter said.

  Olivia was on all fours on the carpet.

  She could feel two sets of eyes staring down at her. “Janet, you’ve met Olivia haven’t you?” Carter said.

  “Yes, Mr. Carter she’s been very good so far,” Janet, another one of the paralegal’s, said.

  “I’m just teaching her how we do things arou
nd here. She got her J.D. at Boston University. I have to make sure that she’s not bringing a lot of ego into the office. Those types of employees never work out. Don’t you agree?”

  “Yes, Mr. Carter. Obedience and loyalty are a big part of working at this firm.”

  “Yes, they are, Janet. Yes, they are. Just put those files on my desk and then you can leave.”

  Olivia couldn’t believe what her boss was putting her through. And she didn’t want to imagine what would be coming next. She figured that things would only get worse.

  “I’m waiting,” Carter said.

  Olivia reached out for the untied shoelace and began trying to tie it. But she couldn’t. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t steady them. Actually, her whole body was shaking. She took several deep breaths and attempted to calm herself but nothing seemed to be working.

  “I’m running out of patience.”

  Fear shook her body. Her hands were still shaking but she managed to get the shoelace retied. She breathed a huge sigh relief and waited on all fours.

  Carter walked back behind his desk and sat down. Olivia remained in the doggy style position for several minutes.

  “Get off the floor and into the seat.”

  She quickly got off her knees and slid back into the chair. Her whole body felt hot. Sweat dripped down her forehead. She feared that she wouldn’t be able to put up with much more of this type of treatment. She feared that she was coming close to her breaking point.

  Carter stared at her with a look of superiority.

  “Now get out of my sight and finish those briefs. I expect you to stay well after five o’clock today. I hope you don’t have any plans for tonight.”

  “But Sir Carter, I will be finished before five. I promise I will.”