Forgotten Memories

by Candis Vargo

  It didn’t work.

  I couldn’t shake that feeling no matter how hard I tried. Honestly, I really didn’t think I wanted to.

  "Goodbye Karma."

  Stepping on the log I mounted Molly and headed back home. As Chace and I went our separate ways I couldn’t stop myself from glancing back at the man that saved my life, and who I felt so utterly comfortable with. As I glanced back at him I saw him watching me. He flashed his incredible smile yet again, and I felt the heat rise up with in me. I turned away and kept riding.

  What the hell is the matter with me? I just spent hours with some guy I don't even know, who happened to save me from downing in my bra and underwear. I should be embarrassed. I shouldn't have stayed...Wow he's amazing.

  “Molly, what’s the matter with me girl?” I asked her like she would be able to answer, but she just kept on trotting along.

  “So much for someone to confide in, thanks a lot Molly.”

  What was this deep sensation inside of me? What was this yearning I held for him?

  Chapter 3

  The next day I was filled with dread. I do not want to do this I thought to myself. Even though I knew I had to, I still did not want to do it. Unfortunately, I had a meeting with Roland. They were always just that, meetings. They were always arranged, and they never lasted more than ten minutes because they would get too damn weird. I knew exactly how today would go, I would ask him for his help on the wedding, and he would reply, "Whatever you want sweetie, you will have.” Even if it was an arranged marriage, I wouldn't mind a little input from someone other than Em.

  Roland is a very attractive man, just like most vampires. With his dirty blond hair that always fell in place and soft hazel eyes, he made girls swoon everywhere he went. Although he isn’t too muscular, his height made up for it. He’s as at least a foot taller than me, probably more, I never cared to measure. Just like all vampires, his features are very well defined. His cheek and jaw bones are very masculine, especially with his five o’clock shadow that never grew out.

  As frustrated as it made me having to meet with him today, I still woke up with a smile. I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, about Chace. Just the thought of his name made my heart pump faster and my face heat up. I knew I needed to think about something else before I saw Roland because he would know something was up. I have never looked this happy to see him before. So as quickly as I could, I placed myself back in reality; the fact that I was about to have coffee with Roland.

  I hesitated before I got out of my Nitro after I arrived at the coffee shop, if that’s what you would even call it. The building once used to be a rail road cart. The owners managed to make it a nice little place for us locals to go and have some coffee and read a paper, as if the quietness of our back yards wasn't enough. It was a small place on the edge of our little town. The town is so small we don’t have signs for street names, so I couldn’t tell you the name of the road it was on if I wanted to.

  I walked inside with the smell of freshly brewed coffee wetting my taste buds and ordered my Chi Latte with extra whipped cream. I saw Roland over in the corner smiling at me. He raised his as to wave, so I smiled back at him.

  After getting my coffee and thanking the cashier, I walked over to him, and sat on the dark red stool across the table from him. The tables are only about four foot by four foot, so there is only enough room on each side for one stool. They weren’t even big enough for a container of sugar and creamer. Instead there was a small two inch basket filled with white packets of sugar. If there was anything else on the table you wouldn’t have any elbow room.

  After placing my purse on the floor next to me I immediately grabbed a sugar packet. I started to play with it to keep my hands occupied. For some reason that always seemed to calm me. Little things in life I guess.

  "Hey, how are you?" I asked as I look at him, flashing him the best fake smile I could.

  "Not too bad. How are you?"

  "I’m alright." I took a sip of my coffee, tasting the sweet whipped cream with a touch of caramel inside of it.

  He smiled at me, "I stopped by last night, and your Father said you were out shopping with Emily, but I passed her on my way there. I had assumed you took Mary for a ride?"

  "Molly, and yes, we went for our ride last night. It took longer than I thought it would. Sorry I missed you."

  He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just wanted to make sure you remembered to meet me today, and it seems to me you have."

  As he slid his ice cold hand on top of mine uneasiness passed through me.

  Nope. No warm feeling with goose bumps. Not just because he’s a Vamp either.

  "What's the matter?" He asked, lowering his eyebrows in as he looked at me.

  "Oh, nothing. Sorry, I just... I hoped that you would have some input for the wedding. It’s not too far away, and Em and I are up to our necks with plans, invitations, and everything else. So if you had any input that would be nice."

  "Sweetie, you can do whatever you want. If it's easier for you we can just have a small wedding. I don't care what the wedding looks like or what we have to eat, just as long as you walk down that isle to me."

  Those were words that normally any girl would like, but not when you hear it constantly. I swear I would get a better conversation out of a Cracker Jack box.

  "Well of course I will be walking down that isle to you Roland, but speaking of food..." I mentioned, hoping he would understand what I was getting at.

  "Ah, yes. Well my Father will be bringing drinks for our race. No need to worry about that my dear."

  Thank God I thought.

  "Okay, so Em and I will continue with our plans, we will be sending out the invitations within the next few days."

  "Sounds fabulous." Evidently that was all he had to say. Wow, my married life sure was going to be great. No wonder why I never had sex with him, I’m sure he would be just as boring in bed. Maybe I would just vow to stay a virgin forever. I tried to wash the thought away so I focused on the country song that was playing on the radio behind the service counter.

  As one of those awkward silences passed between us, I decided that this was my cue to leave. He started to thumb my hand and I felt as uncomfortable as I could possibly get. I began to nonchalantly slide my hand out of his.

  "Well, I guess I should get going, see if Em has anything planned for us today. She's my own personal Wedding Planner," I said. He followed my lead as I stood up. As I smoothed down my skirt, he came around to give me a kiss on the cheek. They’ve always been on the cheek, all though I didn’t mind. I’d prefer him to kiss me there than on the lips any day. Once again I had no feelings like the ones I had with Chace last night.

  Ugh, what was the matter with me? How could I feel this way about a complete stranger, but not the guy I knew my whole life I was going to marry?

  Em knew about these things better than I did. I needed to talk to someone about all of these feelings and she was the only person I had. I needed to get away from Roland so I could call her.

  “I guess, call me if you come up with anything. And I will call you if I need anything. Okay?” I said as I slowly started walking toward the door.

  “Sounds good my love, I just want you to be happy.”

  Fat chance in hell.

  The moment I was out of the coffee shop I reached down and frantically dug through my zebra print purse to find my phone. When I finally found it, I pulled it out as though I was drawing a weapon. I was anxious to call her. I dialed her number and hoped she would actually answers this time. Most of the time I had to send her multiple text messages to get ahold of her. If she wasn’t with me, she was either with the Coven or Ethan.

  Please don’t let her be with Ethan! I thought as I listened to her ring back song “For your Entertainment.” Em answered just as it was getting to the good part.

  “I was just thinking about you! How’d the meeting with Roland go?” She asked.

  “You make it sound as though it was
a professional meeting, Em. Seriously?”

  “Well it should be. Everything else is business like with him.”

  “No need to remind me. Anyway, what are you doing? Are you busy? I need some serious girl talk,” I said, cringing at the thought.

  “Oh what kinds of girl talk? Wait, since when do you need girl talk? Karma, what’s going on?” She was too eager to find out what I needed to talk about.

  “Nothing, I just. I need advice I guess? I don’t know. Meet me at my place in twenty.”

  “Okay, but need I say you’re freaking me out?”

  She had a point. I never wanted to have girl talk.

  “Just shut up and meet me. Okay? Love you, bye.”

  “Love you too, bye!”

  Great. I was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into. Girl talk was something I knew absolutely nothing about. The last time I needed girl talk was when I had my first period and I needed Em’s mom to teach me a thing or two and buy me stuff. Not like I was going to ask my Father, he would have had a heart attack. Well, if Pixies could anyway.

  I made it to my house with five minutes to spare before Em was supposed to show up. As I was walking toward the back door I heard my father inside arguing with someone.

  “You know Melita didn’t want this, but I’m going through with it anyway. She’s going through with it,” I heard my father say. His voice was filled with rage.

  Mother? Why was my father arguing about what Mother wanted? Wait, what? I thought to myself.

  “Your Highness, you know it’s in the best interest of our races, it will strengthen the both of us. We will have more power than anyone has seen,” I heard Lord Matthias speak softly, as though he was trying to calm my father.

  What’s Roland’s dad doing here? What the hell were they talking about?

  “I’m not the one who cares about power; it’s you and your counsel who do!” I couldn’t tell if my father was more hurt or pissed off.

  With the sudden feeling I needed to split up the argument up, I started walking as loud as I could to the door. I purposely made my flip flops slap against my heels as loud as they could. I wanted to make sure they could hear me so they would stop arguing before I even made it inside.

  Before I walked in the door, in my most excited voice I said, “Father, Em is coming over and we’re-oh! Hello Lord Matthias. I didn’t know you were here. I just got back from coffee with Roland.” It was surprisingly easy for me to play stupid. For that brief moment I thought I should have tried to go into acting.

  “Hello my dear Karmalita. Yes my son did mention you two had plans for this morning. I hope all went well?” Lord Matthias said as he acknowledged me.

  I could never get over how unnerving Lord Matthias looked. He reminded me of something similar to Dracula. He was tall and scrawny with thin black hair that fell just above his ears. His nose was kind of pointed, and his eyes always had a red ring around them. The only color the man ever wore was black. He looked especially eerie standing next to my father, who was in his usual bright colored clothes.

  Joining our races seemed like trying to force complete opposites together. Not just with the way we looked but the way we lived. The Vamps always seemed gloomy and strict and we Pixies were freer and at least we gave off the appearance that we were always happy.

  Maybe on the inside we were more alike than either race knew.

  “Yes sir it did. As far as the planning goes I finally found my dress. It’s nice to have some progress being made. But Father,” I turned to look at him, “Em is on her way over for some girl time. You know, wedding stuff.”

  I flashed my best smile to the both of them as I bounced on the balls of my feet trying to act impatient. I hoped they would get the hint and at least let me bail.

  “Yes well I suppose I should be going anyway, Roland would probably like to go buy a new tux sometime soon,” Lord Matthias said as he grabbed the knob on our door.

  “Yes I understand, I do hope you visit again sometime soon,” my father said sounding pleased that Lord Matthias was leaving.

  “We most certainly will. Karmalita I hope the planning continues to go well for you. I hope you two have a good day and are as excited for the wedding as we are,” he said giving my father a meaningful look.

  “Of course we are,” replied Father.

  “Thank you. You have a good day too and I’m sure the planning will go easily for me from here on,” I said, still smiling at Lord Matthias.

  Lord Matthias walked out the door and he looked like he thought he owned the place. That man perturbed me.

  “So you said girl time, right dear?” Father asked as he turned toward me.

  I laughed, “Yes Father, that’s what girls do. Especially when they are planning a wedding.”

  “Alright then, I’ll be off to do…man stuff,” he said. Though it seemed like more of a question than a statement.

  “Father, please. Don’t try. Just go.” With laughter filling the air my father kissed my forehead before he walked out the same door as Lord Matthias. I didn’t know where he was going but I didn’t care to ask. I just needed the house clear for when Em came over.

  Em finally decided to show up about ten minutes later.

  “You’re late,” I said as I met her at the door.

  “And like you’re ever on time? So what’s up? Fill me in,” she said as she walked inside, giving me perceptive smile. That smile only meant one thing.

  “From the look on your face, it seems like you’ve done a spell to see my aura, so you tell me.”

  “I would do no such thing,” she said dramatically, laying one hand over her chest as she attempted to look appalled.

  We walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a stool that was tucked away underneath it and sat down.

  “Liar. Anyway,” I took a pause before I continued. “You’ve been with Ethan for a while now, and I was wondering…did you ever get, I don’t know. When you met him did you feel like you were where you belong? Or was it awkward?”

  “At first it was a little awkward, like the whole first kiss. That only lasted about two seconds though. Why do you ask?” She looked at me suspiciously.

  “I don’t know. I just… I don’t know.”

  Em always had a way of reading me and she didn’t always have to use magic. I didn’t want her peering into my soul so I looked away trying to avoid meeting her eyes.

  “Do you finally feel something for Roland?” Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. It reminded of a deer in headlights. “Because your aura shows bliss and if so…”

  “Oh, well. That’s the thing.” Chace is more like it I thought still not looking her in the eyes.

  “Don’t make me pry it out of you,” she said. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me intensely.

  “No, it’s…,” looking down at my shoes I started thinking about him. About the warm feeling that passed through every ounce of my body. The goose bumps when he kissed my hand. Talking for hours, and feeling so perfectly complete. Oh Chace I thought.

  “Chace? Who the fuck is Chace?” Em nearly fell out of the stool she was sitting on. I don’t know if it was because she leaned forward a little too far or if she was trying to tackle me to get information.

  “Em! You said you’d never read my thoughts again! What the hell?” I don’t know if I was upset or relieved that I didn’t have to actually come out and tell her. Maybe it was a good thing she pried it out of my head.

  “You left me no choice!” she yelled after she managed to get her balance back. “I thought you finally felt something for Roland. I wanted to know. Now who the hell is Chace? I want more details about the goose bumps and him kissing your hand. So who is he? Is he hot?” She rested her head on her fist and looked like a child on Christmas morning.

  After I felt the blood rise to my face I realized why I never would do girl talk.

  “Em…” I began as I tried to think of what exactly to say to her.

  “Don’t tell me what you think I
want to hear Karma, I want it all. It better be the truth too, because I’ll be able to tell.”

  “Fine. Well,” I said as I took a deep breath trying to calm my shaky voice. “Chace is someone I met yesterday. Molly and I went to the pond, and I think I got a cramp or something while I was swimming. Anyway, I blacked out and woke up next to Molly. Chace is the guy who saved me. I would have drowned out there if it wasn’t for him.”

  “Okay, we’ll go back to you cramping later. I want to get to where he kissed your hand and the part about goose bumps. I want the romance. After all, that’s what I live for.”

  Rolling my eyes I said, “Fine. So we just sat there for a few hours talking. Time flew by. I didn’t know it was that long. But I felt so comfortable with him, like I belonged there. This is weird considering I have to marry Roland. I shouldn’t feel like this.” I continued to play over all of the details of what happened last night and the way I felt. Em looked less like a child on Christmas and started looking like one hearing the story of Cinderella for the first time.

  “Now, that is way more romantic than being forced to marry someone. You’ve never felt like that with Roland? And you just met this guy. Wow. Most men instantly grab your ass and shove their tongue down your throat. It’s nice to know there’s at least one guy out there who knows how to get a woman the old fashioned way.”

  “Wow. That’s what you have to say? So much for the advice and I never said he got me,” I threw my arms in the air as I leaned back in my stool.

  “Hey, you didn’t say you wanted advice. You said you wanted girl talk. This, my dear, is girl talk. So are you going to go back there? I mean, you are going to see him again, right?” I was amazed at how fast her expressions were changing. Now she looked more like she was watching an action movie, about to jump out of her seat. She did end up jumping out of her seat but she didn’t tackle me like I anticipated she would. Instead, she walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed two sodas.

  “I don’t know, I mean I’ve thought about it. But I’m marrying Roland. It seems like it would be wrong of me to see him again. Not to mention he’s a human, I couldn’t possibly get involved with a human like that.” I reached out and grabbed the Dr. Pepper she held out for me. Getting involved with a human romantically was one of the last things I ever wanted to do. I couldn’t possibly let myself fall in love with a human. They had an expiration date, and I didn’t. Maybe they could be turned Vamp…who am I kidding? It didn’t matter because nothing was going to happen. I needed to secure the safety of my race.