Forgotten Memories

by Candis Vargo

  No. Not a human, a Vampire. But those eyes, those were the same eyes he had when he had taken shape as one of the Fallen. He is not really one of the Fallen. It wasn’t them, I thought. After taking form of a Vamp, he grabbed my face with his ice cold hands. I know that face. Roland. What? What is happening? With my face in his hands, he stared me in the eyes. He began speaking as I watched his pupils dilate.

  “You will not remember what you have just witnessed. You know nothing of this dear Karmalita. Your fragile little mind is too weak to resist.” He ran his hand down the side of my head, flattening my hair. “Apparently I don’t have to use much on you, do I? You will hear what I will, and it shall be done. You will remember nothing. You have slept all night long, and when you wake, the death of your mother will be news to you. Do you understand?”

  I stared at him a moment longer before I began to nod. “I understand.”

  “Good girl,” he said as he released me from his grasp.

  A sound of cracking twigs came from the distance in the forest. Simultaneously we both looked toward where the sound was coming from as we tried to figure out the cause of it. As the man that looked like Roland shifted back into one of the Fallen I saw something come running through the forest towards us. I noticed it was Roland the second he stopped running. The Fallen, or whatever the fuck he was, glanced at Roland for a brief moment before flying off into the darkened sky.

  Roland took one look at my Mother and saw my father’s sword lying next to her. As he ran over to me, he held me like any person would hold a child. He was looking me in the eyes, brushing my hair out of my face.

  “Oh my God Karmalita. What happened? Are you okay? Oh my God sweetie, let’s get you out of here.”

  He picked me up and headed back to my house, it only took him about three seconds before he was at our back door. Father awoke, and came down stairs into the living room where we sat. I overhear Roland telling Father everything that he saw, everything that happened. They soon sent two trusted Pixies and the Lord Vamp out to retrieve Mother.

  To retrieve Mother, that’s what they said. But it wouldn’t actually be her they would get. Instead it would be a cold and empty body.

  “It was your sword Your Highness,” I heard Roland say.

  “Impossible,” Father said without missing a beat.

  “I’m sorry. I left it there careful not to disturb anything.” Roland’s voice was soft.

  “But how? The Fallen, you say?” Father’s voice was as shaky as I felt.

  “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

  “One of the Fallen stole my sword and slaughtered my wife! This. Is. War. With God as my witness, I will slay every last one of them,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “I’m also worried for Karmalita. She hasn’t spoken since…she saw it all.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roland glance over at me.

  “I know. Would you mind talking to her for me? I don’t think I will be able to handle it.” My father’s voice was cracking with every word that he spoke. I could tell he was weeping and that tore me up inside.

  “Absolutely,” Roland said with his voice still soft.

  Listening to the footsteps move closer to me, I saw Roland. He came over and sat beside me on the sofa. We sat in silence for a few moments before he leaned to get a better view of me. He brushed my hair back from my face and placed one hand upon my back.

  “Karmalita, I know what you saw. And I cannot begin to imagine what pain you are suffering through. I am worried for you. I…I just wish you would say something. Anything at all would be better than nothing. I am here for you, as well as your Father,” he said as carefully as he could.

  He did not say Mother. I thought to myself.

  “I don’t remember,” I managed to say.

  “What? What do you mean, you don’t remember?”

  “I remember the tree. Hiding behind the tree, and the sword. It…it hit Mother. Killed her, but I don’t remember who it was. I know someone talked to me, but I don’t remember!” I yelled. I was angry with myself, angry with whoever killed my Mother and I was angry with the world.

  I began to sob uncontrollably, partially for my Mother and partially because I couldn’t remember something so important. I knew it was important, very important. But I just couldn’t seem to remember.

  But I do remember. Seeing it all over again, I was able to remember it all.

  While the images replayed, I couldn’t change the words I have said or the way I behaved. But I do remember. Watching it all, everything unfolded before me. It was my father’s sword like Roland had said...everything he had said was the truth. But then, what was the lie?

  The eyes, I remembered the eyes. There was something about the eyes. It wasn’t one of the Fallen, and it wasn’t a Vamp. I didn’t know what it was. But whatever that thing may be, it had been playing all of our races from that day. And Adrian, who was he? Mother said she loved him; I couldn’t let Father know about that. But I sure as hell was going to find out who he was.

  I can’t forget about those eyes. I know those eyes. I have seen them before…but where?

  Chapter 11

  I felt like I had a hangover. A really, really bad hangover. I heard voices around me that were muffled by a loud buzzing in my ears. I wasn’t quite able to open my eyes yet so I tried to focus on the voices. As I listened I could make out the deep tones in the voices, so I assumed they were men. Slowly, the buzzing began to fade away so I could hear more clearly. As I tried even harder to open my eyes to see who was talking around me, the voices stopped.

  “Wait, I think she is starting to wake.” I finally heard someone speak, not too far away. My eyes finally opened and immediately I realize I was in a hospital with Father standing next to me.

  “Oh thank God,” he said as he grabbed my hand.

  “What…what’s going on? Where is Chace? Is he okay?” My voice rose as I remembered everything that happened.

  “I’m fine Karma,” I heard from the other side of my hospital room. I jerked my head around to see Chace sitting in a chair in the corner. I felt my heart thump with joy.

  “Oh my God! Chace!” I yelled as I tried to sit up. I was ecstatic that he was here.

  My father gently placed his hands on me so I knew not to sit up yet.

  “I am just glad you are okay. You scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know. I had no idea Karma. If I did, I would have said something,” Chace said as he shook his head.

  “Father!” I shouted as I turned to face him. “It wasn’t them! I remember! I remember everything. After I was hit with your sword, I saw it all! It was not The Fallen. I don’t know what it was but it wasn’t them!”

  “Slow down Karmalita. What are you talking about?” father said as he looked at me with confusion.

  “The one who killed mother, it wasn’t a Fallen,” I said sternly.

  “You don’t remember any of that dear. You blocked it out when-“

  “It came back to me! When I was asleep! I remember!” I raised my voice. I was anxious to get my point across. They needed to know that it wasn’t the Fallen. That it wasn’t Chace.

  “How?” He asked. His expression changed to a look of shock.

  “I don’t know but I know it’s the truth. I saw it all over again. I know it was real. And I know that it was not the Fallen.”

  “If it wasn’t one of them, then who was it?” he asked with disbelief.

  “I don’t know. It changed. The thing changed.”

  “What?” Father asked baffled.

  I replayed everything over to father. Every image, every detail. Even everything that thing had said to me. While I was repeating everything I became aware of everyone else in the room. When I saw Roland I could clearly tell he was heartbroken. I didn’t understand why. Our marriage was forced so I didn’t think he cared. Ethan wore a look of disgust on his face. I figured it was because everyone now knew about my relationship with Chace and I’m sure he disapproved. I saw at Em last and she just gave me thumbs
up and pointed at Chace.

  “You thought we did what?” Chace cut in.

  “You were framed. We thought someone of your race killed my Mother.” I suddenly felt very ashamed.

  “What? No! The only thing we want to do is earn our way back into Heaven. We would never risk that. And we especially would never murder a woman in front of her own child.” Chace looked at me like he didn’t know if he should feel sorry for me or be pissed off at me, at all of us, for thinking his race would do such an act.

  “I’m sorry, Chace. What Roland saw was one of the Fallen. That is all he saw. I managed to see much, much more. It wasn’t one of you. I’m not sure what it was, but I know for a fact, it was nothing I have ever seen before.”

  Father bent his arm and raised his hand so we all would listen.

  “We will all have a meeting about this tomorrow. For now, Karma, you must rest. We will be taking you home tomorrow before the meeting begins so you can be there. I think it is best if we leave Karma to rest. I do understand if Roland and Chace wish to stay. I believe there are some matters that need to be discussed.”

  One by one, everyone left. Of course, Roland and Chace decided to stay, although Chace stepped out of the room to give Roland and me some privacy. I had no idea how I was going to say this, or what I was actually going to say. But I would let him know exactly what I thought.

  “You and Chace? Really? He is one of the Fallen Karmalita!” Roland said. It would have been nice if he asked if I was okay before he instantly brought on the subject of me and Chace. I guess that was expecting too much from him. After all, the only thing he cared about was power. He never really cared about me. If he had he wouldn’t have been blackmailing my father just to marry me.

  “And we have just discovered they had nothing to do with Mothers death,” I snapped.

  I was defensive over everything. I was defending my love for Chace and I was defending all of the Fallen at the same time. The fact needed to get across to everyone that the Fallen didn’t do it.

  “So what were you going to do? Marry me and keep seeing him!”

  “What? NO! First off, who said I was seeing him? And second, no! I wasn’t going to marry you! Unfortunately I have never loved you Roland. Never. And for you to blackmail my Father like that!” I grew angry and raised my voice, as he looked at me with disbelief. “That’s right! Em and I heard it all. You are using the death of my mother to blackmail us into this union! Well guess what, I don’t fucking need it! Our race doesn’t need it after all. Now that I finally have my memories back, you can’t use his sword against him! So what do you have to say for yourself now?”

  “What on earth you are talking about. I don’t know what you and Em believe you heard or saw, but I sure as hell wasn’t blackmailing your father! We wanted this union before you were even born.”

  “Bull shit Roland! Em and I were right there, we were upstairs in my room and we heard every-" I was cut off by Roland, who was apparently getting very angry with me.

  “I do not know what you think is going on here Karmalita, but every single meeting I have had with your father has been in public, just like the meetings I have with you.”

  “But, we saw you. We watched you leave,” I said with a shaky voice.

  “Whatever, or whoever you thought you saw Karma, it was not me. I have always loved you. I would never betray your trust, or your Fathers trust in such a cruel way. I have only ever wanted the best for you. I was willing to give you everything you wanted, everything you ever needed. I would have started drinking God awful pig blood if I had to. I’m sorry you feel that way, but it was not me.”

  Those were his last words as he left the room. Stormed out the room was more like it. He left me there wondering just what the hell he meant by ‘it wasn’t him’. My defense grew into sympathy. I felt horrible for feeling the way I had toward Roland. I accused him of so many things I couldn’t even begin to tell him about. Doing so would only make him hate me more than he probably already did. I would hate someone if they had such little faith in me. I still didn’t understand how it couldn’t have been him but I knew by the look in his eyes that he was determined for me to understand him as much as I was determined for him to understand my relationship with Chace.

  If it wasn’t him, who else could it have been? Unless…

  Chace briskly walked over to the side of my bed and leaned down to kiss me. Not on the forehead, but instead on the lips. The softness of his kiss washed everything else out of my mind.

  “Chace, I am so sorry. I had no idea,” I said. I felt like I had betrayed him somehow.

  “You don’t need to apologize all the time. It’s not your fault. The only one to blame is whoever is doing this to us, whoever set us up. But Karma, did you really need to put yourself in front of me? He could have killed you! Do you have any idea how devastated I would be if that happened?” Chace said, eyes filling with pain.

  “If I didn’t, you would already be dead.” Tears began to fall down my face just thinking about it. I finally found someone I belonged with, I didn’t possess the strength to lose him, especially after such a short time together.

  “I know. I want to say thank you, but it was an awful stupid thing to do.” he said as he thumbed a tear off of my face.

  “I saw the war stop. Why? Why did it stop? It isn’t normal for a war like that to stop over one race hitting their own.”

  “Karma, my love, they follow me. It’s my orders they follow. My father, well, not my actual father, but the man who guided me back to the path of heaven, but he was killed. Now they all look to me. And if I would have known Karma, I would never have stepped foot out there.”

  “I believe you. Though I must say, I thought you were all hot and sexy until I saw you with your wings. Now it just made you so much more appealing,” I said, trying to lighten the mood as much as I could.

  With that, he smiled that beautiful smile at me. This was where I wanted to be. He was the one I want to be with. The one I felt I was meant to be with. I still couldn’t explain it, but I guess that’s what true love is. It is nearly impossible to explain.

  “Well, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to say almost the exact same thing to you. Your wings, they are…they suite you. Very well I must say.” A moment of silence passes between us, with smiles on our faces. Slowly, his smile faded as he said, “I hate to ruin the moment, but I need to ask. What is going on with Roland?”

  “Oh, yes. One subject I had hoped to avoid.” As much as I dreaded to I filled him in on everything. How I was to marry Roland to strengthen our races and more recently to ensure our survival during the Great War. With every word that came out of my mouth, my heart sank even further into the ground. I felt as though I was going to lose him, like every word I spoke made him hate me just like what I said to Roland probably made him hate me as well.

  I told him about everything from the wedding plans to Em and I thinking it was him we saw at my house when I changed my mind on the marriage. When I finished saying everything I needed to, I took a deep breath and waited for him to walk out. Not just out of this room, but out of my life.

  “We need to find out who that was. If it wasn’t Roland, then someone is playing games with our races. We need to find out who it is and what they want.”

  I waited a few more moments for him to say something else. Possibly for him to say that he hated me. Maybe to say that he never wanted to see me again, I wasn’t quite sure what I was waiting for. I was just waiting for the blow of what I had told him about the marriage.

  “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” I was confused.

  “Karma, you are a very honest person. You told me the truth and when we made love, you already knew you were not going to marry him. If you are looking for me to forgive you, I won’t. There is nothing for me to forgive you for. You did nothing wrong. And do I need to add how the union was not your idea or your choice?”

  He ran his fingers through the curls in my h
air as he leaned his head down until just a few inches above mine. I stared into his eyes for a few moments, completely mesmerized by how amazing he was. He didn’t run; he didn’t hate me. He simply cared for me. He understood. That was something else I loved about him. How understanding he was. He truly only wanted to be with me.

  “I love you Karmalita.”

  I began smiling as soon as he said those four, meaningful words.

  “I love you too, Chace.”

  There was a lot I still was unsure about, but I knew one thing for certain; I have finally found the heart in which my soul belonged.

  Chapter 12

  I have always hated the feeling of being stared at, this time it wasn’t just a feeling. I was actually being stared at by every single person in this room as I walked in. Everyone that was here for the meeting today carried different expressions on their faces as they watched me walk all the way to my seat. Some looked at me with disbelief; some looked at me with pity, but most looked at me with disappointment. My father looked at me with concern, though Em looked at me with complete pride.

  I walked into the room with Chace helping me to my seat, thank God he sat me next to Em; I don’t think I would have been able to last long if I were sitting next to anyone else.

  The room was about the size of a middle school library. It was lit up by a few recessed lights in the ceiling which didn’t give off nearly enough lighting. There were no windows for extra light so it was kind of gloomy. There was one long ass wooden table down the middle of the room with enough seats for everyone who was important enough to be present.

  I didn’t remember half of them, only the ones who were of importance to me. They were mostly the Elders, the ones who have been around for generations. The smell of stale cigarette smoke and old ash trays filled the air. There were plenty of immortals who figured that since they were immortal they didn’t have to worry about what substances they put into their bodies. Some habits were worse than others. It disgusted me.